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  1. Allahu Akbar, Walillahil-Hamd First Taraweeh in 88 years will be led by (Maulana) Professor Ali Erbas (HA), himself tonight
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  2. As-Salaam alaikum, Have you ever considered the acquisition of the sweetness of faith (Imaan) and that immense enjoyment in the worship (Ibaadah) we do? The pleasure a person finds in his Sallaah impels him to delay his Sajdas. His Zikr of Allah Ta'ala emanates from the deep recesses of his heart... intoxicating him. The requirement for this intoxication and ecstasy is not wine or worldly love; the requirement for this 'high' is neither heroine nor cocaine, it is the Remembrance of his Beloved Lord (Allahu). When he recites the Holy Qur'an, it is as if he is conversing with his Rabb. The Speech of Allah Ta'ala, which he recites, deeply impresses upon his heart and establishes a profound and strong Imaan within him. With a deep hearted enjoyment, he believes that his Lord, Allah, is listening to His Own Kalaam (Speech) from the tongue of His sinful servant. Allahu Akbar! Wa Lillahil-Hamd!!
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  3. Read here: https://www-independent-co-uk.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.independent.co.uk/voices/september-11-guantanamo-bay-war-on-terror-afghanistan-b1917879.html?amp
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  4. From Afghan women regarding Afghan women VID_150010127_044805_681.mp4 VID_150010715_052943_075.mp4 VID_150010827_104245_366.mp4
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  5. Thank you very much respected Admin for publishing my post. I shall abide by the rules and regulations of this site by the grace of God. Mohammad Rafique Etesam ( shaikhrafiquee)
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  6. wa'alaykumus salam warahmatullah I asked and recieved following reply so it can be done but I dont think people with websites would take the risk
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  7. This is the stance of Islamic political parties: https://www.dawn.com/news/amp/1641051 I don't know of any Deobandi madrasah in Pakistan that does not hail and support Afghan Taliban. Ghair muqallideen / ahle hadith Ulama also support them. I've heard them showing approval and praising them in their speeches but I don't know if they support them in any other way.
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  8. we should ask a scholar knowledegable in these matters
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  9. Amount of water used by Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) for wudhu and ghusl Q: How many litres of water would Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) use for wudhu and for ghusl? A: Hazrat ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu anha) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) used one mudd of water for wudhu and one saa’ for ghusl. One mudd amounts to approximately 1.03 litres and one saa’ is approximately 4.1 litres. And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best. عن أنس رضي الله عنه قال: كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يغسل، أو كان يغتسل، بالصاع إلى خمسة أمداد، ويتوضأ بالمد (صحيح البخاري، الرقم: 201) عن عائشة رضي الله عنهاأن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم كان يغتسل بالصاع ويتوضأ بالمد (سنن أبي داود، الرقم: 92) فتاوى محموديه 8/122 أحسن الفتاوى 4/386 تأليفات رشيديه صـ 245 Answered by: Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)
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  10. At the moment I'm celebrating as well as being wary. Just because they are the Taliban, we shouldn't give them a free pass. In fact they should be held to a stricter standard. It's very early days so let's wait and see how things pan out. I don't know what their justification is in forming a relationship with China, but I'm hoping and praying that it is all in Allah's plan and inshallah we shall see the benefit. My mind keeps thinking back to the treaty of hudaibiya and how it ultimately lead to our benefit. The first time Taliban took over, they allowed the losing side to join Taliban and gave them the same positions they held when they were in opposition to the Taliban. They also allowed the opposition to hold official positions in some areas such as Kabul. I can understand their hikmat behind this, but it backfired. The ex opposition holding positions in the Taliban gained numbers and strength and caused problems for the main leadership, including ameerul mumineen mullah umar (rh). I hope this doesn't happen again. I think this is a very critical time and the Taliban need help and support from our scholars, world leaders, and general awaam.
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  11. Nothing ELSE needs to be said about the matter. KHALAS!
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  12. No he is not a scholar, just a student of knowledge But I think he can make a lot of contribution in Maliki fiqh discussion
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  13. Mufti Muhammad Shafi Explaning following incident with Shaykh al-Hind Moulānā Mahmūd al-Hasan Someone once asked Shaykh al-Hind about the hadith: “The Prophet ﷺ has said that Satan does not pass the road which is used by 'Umar." Because the same or similar was not said in relation to the Prophet ﷺ or Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه), the question naturally arises as to why Satan should have feared Umar (رضي الله عنه) alone, even though both the Prophet ﷺ and Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) enjoyed a higher status than him. Mufti Muhammad Shafi' said that in responding to any kind of critical question, Shaykh al-Hind would usually commence with a pointed, but humourous kind of remark, before providing a more comprehensive reply. Hence, it came as no surprise that in answer to this question, he opened with a quick-witted observation: "It is Satan's own stupidity. I think you had best ask him why he feared Umar (رضي الله عنه ) more than the Prophet ﷺ or Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه)!" He then cogently proceeded to offer the following explanation: "Superiority and awe are two different things. A superior person may not necessarily be the most dreaded person. In the case of Umar (رضي الله عنه) the quality of awe was a predominant characteristic, and its presence was what the hearts of the people felt most immediately. On the other hand, in the case of the Prophet ﷺ and Abū Bakr (رضي الله عنه), the quality of beauty was what predominated in their characters. Given this contrast, the immediate sense of awe when confronted with 'Umar (رضي الله عنه) is not surprising." [The Great Scholars of the Deoband Islamic Seminary by Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani]
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  14. I am not an Arab I am not from the Middle-East I don't speak Arabic But why does Palestine matter to me as a Muslim and as a human? How did we get here through the lens of history? https://youtu.be/RbLEiTbzCqI
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  15. Assalaamu ‘alaykum warahmatullah I will try to answer your question to the best of my ability according to what I have learnt in these “billion courses and gazillion articles”. On a side note, these courses and articles are mostly very basic, outlining the maxims for awareness. The only in-depth courses in the UK that I know of were conducted by Ustadhah Hidaya Hartford and Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera sahib. I know there is one in Pakistan which is in Urdu and which many UK sisters have joined. Regarding: Absolutely agree with you. They probably did not even have calendars and definitely no apps and probably did not even need to record their cycles (due to the points I’ll mention below) so no dispute with you or the Mufti sahib you consulted. In order to answer your question regarding, “why this issue is so complex that it needs tables and Apps to track” I will insha-allah first have to explain some important points which have bearing on the answer. I’ll try to be as brief as possible 1 Knowledge of Sahaabiyaat RA compared to women today: The Sahaabiyaat RA lived with none other than the source of all knowledge (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) whom they consulted through his Azwaaji Mutahharaat RA regarding these issues and would therefore be knowledgeable in this regard. Generally, among women today, ignorance of fiqhi issues prevails to the extent that many women are not aware of the faraaidh of ghusl and wudhu – not saying all women are ignorant as Alhamdulillah Allah ta’ala has blessed women great uloom throughout the ages till today 2 Things which Impact menstrual cycles: Allah ta’ala ordained for women to go through the menstrual cycles and post-natal bleeding from day one yes, however women through the ages lived in different environments which impacted their cycles differently. Many things which affect women’s cycles today were unknown in the time of the Sahaabiyaat RA. Various illnesses exist today which were unknown even a few generations ago let alone in the time of the Sahaabiyaat RA. The illnesses themselves or their treatments, medication, etc. affect women’s cycles. Added to that, there are various forms of contraception Muslim women use in our age, almost all of which cause problems with women’s cycles. The food and drink consumed today also affects women’s cycles Stress, anxiety, depression, etc. was most probably unknown in their time and this also affects women’s cycles. All this information can be verified online. 3 For non-Muslim women all of the above does not create any issue whereas the very core of the Deen is affected for Muslim women where their obligatory worship which requires the state of purity is affected (5 daily prayers, fasting of Ramadhaan, the main Tawaf of Hajj). Therefore, Muslim women need to know the basic rules of when they are allowed to continue these obligations and when to refrain and that is why there are so many books, articles and courses. 4 Misconceptions One of the greatest misconceptions that exists among many cultures is LEAVING OUT the obligatory acts of worship which require the state of purity once any type of bleeding begins. This is sinful as there are situations where a woman may be bleeding however it is termed “Istihadha” (Irregular bleeding, invalid bleeding) during which she must continue carrying out those acts of worship. 5 Few facts regarding women’s bleedings Now towards why women need to keep a record of their cycles. The Shari’ah has set out maxims regarding menstruation and post-natal bleeding. A woman’s blood can by one of three types – menstruation (haydh), post-natal (nifaas) or invalid Istihadaha). These maxims help determine which type of bleeding a woman is experiencing and as mentioned before, this impacts her obligatory acts of worship. Women develop “habits” in menstruation and purity and in the bleeding after childbirth. Please remember this point. Everything is simple as long as women’s cycles remain within the limits set out by the Shari’ah. (Note that differences of opinion exist between the Madhaahib and even within the Hanafi Madhab as these are ijtihaadi Masaail) Problems only arise when bleedings are abnormal/invalid. Many women do not experience many problems however problems do usually arise at the following stages of a woman’s life; At adolescence – Girls s begin menstruating at a much younger age than before and some start off with no regular habits and actually experience continuous or intermittent bleeding or spotting without having a complete purity of 15+ days in between bleedings (which separates two bleedings). This is generally a straight forward issue where they are “given” habits in both menstruation (10 days) and purity (20 days) which is used to determine when they can carry on their acts of obligatory worship and when they are required to refrain After child-birth – many women continue bleeding after the maximum 40 days creating confusion regarding acts of worship During menopause – most women experience a total change in their cycles from ages as early as 45 nowadays where bleeding occurs frequently without the required 15+ day purity occurring between bleedings. Use of contraception – is the most common cause of irregular bleeding for women whatever their age Keeping all the above in mind, now the answer to the question: Answer: Any ‘Aalim/Mufti will tell you that previous habits are necessary when blood exceeds the maximum or when it is continuous – by continuous I mean there is no occurrence of a complete purity of 15+ days and this situation can last for months. Experience shows that most women simply stop praying when they experience any type of bleeding or spotting no matter how long it carries on. They only consult Apas when they are made aware by someone with more knowledge. The Mudhillah is a woman who has forgotten her habits (not recorded them). For the Mudhillah the situation can get extremely serious when she suddenly experiences problematic cycles (Hardly any women remember their exact days of previous bleedings and purity as they generally fluctuate) because it is impossible to determine the bleedings without previous habits. In some extreme cases, some women may have to perform ghusl (obligatory ritual bath for full body purification) BEFORE EVERY PRAYER and thereafter repeat it in the next prayer time. However, at these times (in some cases) they may be allowed to take dispensations from other Madahaahib which is an extreme mercy of our Most Gracious Lord! And this is why there are these “billion courses and gazillion articles” so as to educate and empower women in their Deen. And this is the reason why great Fuqahaa of the past have written hundreds of treaties on the subject and as ʿAllaamah Ibn ‘Aabideen Al-Shaami (Rahimahullah) says in ““Manhalil Waarideen min Bihaaril Faydh ‘alaa “Dhukrul Muta-aahileen fee Masaailil Haydh” (The kitab taught by Mufti Abdur Rahmaan Mangera sahib) [the fuqaha have agreed on the mandatory nature of the obligation of knowing the necessary states of a person] This is to have knowledge of that ruling, which a person is in need of, at the time he is in need of it. By learning these rules in these “billion courses and gazillion articles” and following them, women are in fact worshipping their Lord. Isn’t our Deen the most beautiful?! Apologies as I could not answer in just a few sentences and also for saying you were being “Rather selfish” but this is exactly how it appears from your own words however it my not be so.
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  16. Aameen to lovely Du'a and its so good to see this topic continued, Jazaakillah Can you please double check the spelling in thsi word ? - ثَوَابَلهُ
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  17. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said: “The best of Muslims is he from whose hand and tongue, other Muslims are safe.” (Muslim) “The best of people are those with the most excellent character.” (Tabarâni) “The best prayers for women are those performed in the most secluded parts of their houses.” (Ibn Khuzaymah) “The best of you are those who feed others and return greetings.” (Abu Ya’lâ) “The best of that which you treat yourself with is cupping.” (Hâkim) “The best of days that you should perform cupping are the 17th, 19th and 21st of the month. I did not pass a single gathering of angels on the night of Isrâ’ except that they would say to me, ‘O Muhammad, perform cupping!’” (Ahmad) “The most beloved of deeds according to Allah are the continuous ones, even if they are little.” (Bukhari) “The most beloved words according to Allah the Most High are four: Subhânallah, Alhamdulillâh, Lâ ilâhaillallah and Allahu Akbar.” (Muslim) “The best of provision is that which suffices a person.” (Ahmad) “The most beloved word according to me is that which is most truthful.” (Bukhâri) “The best word of remembrance is: Lâ ilâha illallah and the best supplication is: Alhamdulillâh.” (Tirmidhî) “The best of charity is that which is given to the relative that harbours enmity against you.” (Ahmad) “The best prayer is that with the longest (Qiyaam) standing.” (Muslim) “The best of all worship is supplication (dua).” (Hâkim) Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam was asked: “Which of the believers are the most intelligent?” He replied, “Those who remember death the most and are best prepared for what comes after it. They are the intelligent ones.” (Tabraani) Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
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  18. ‘Spoon of Freedom’ Escape tool of 6 Palestinians becomes symbol of resistance AMMAN — Palestinians have always had different symbols to represent their freedom; a spoon is the newest sign that has captured artists’ and social media users’ attentions. After the six Palestinians tunnelled out of the high-security Gilboa Prison, reportedly using a spoon, a large number of social media users, influencers and artists have been focusing on the simple tool used in the movie-like escape. The six fugitives included Zakaria Zubeidi, Mahmoud Ardah, Mohammad Ardah, Yacoub Qadri, Ayham Kamamji and Munadel Nfeiat. A Palestinian-Jordanian virtual artist Beesan Arafat, who describes herself as an artist with “sharp edges”, created a piece of art depicting the spoon the six Palestinians used to extricate themselves from the Israeli prison. “The men evaded 40 prison guards, three watchtowers, two walls, two barbed-wire fences and a pack of sniffer dogs to get to their freedom,” Arafat wrote on her Instagram post. “They used a rusty spoon to escape one of the most secure jails in the country,” she added. The Jordanian illustrator and graphic designer Abeer Anabtawi shared a post of a watermelon and spoon, which are currently symbols of Palestinian resistance that have gone viral on social media platforms. “The spoon has become an icon. With a spoon, the six Palestinians obtained their freedom,” wrote Palestinian activist and photographer Abdalafo Bassam on his Instagram post. Also, Twitter user “@M7rusa” wrote: “Raise the spoon for freedom; raise your spoon for the Palestinian prisoners and Palestine”. Samar Khalil, a Palestinian-Jordanian living in Amman, told The Jordan Times on Sunday: “Although four of the six prisoners were recaptured, the Palestinian resistance will continue and from now on, the spoon will illuminate the untold stories of Palestinians”. The four prisoners who were recaptured are: Zakaria Zubeidi, Mahmoud Ardah, Mohammad Arda and Yacoub Qadiri. The Jordan Times
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  19. The Great Tābi' Sayyidunā Thābit al-Bunānī (رحمه الله) kissed the hand of The Sahābī Sayyidunā Anas bin Mālik ( رضي الله عنه ) and then placed it on his face, saying: 'This is the hand that touched the hand of The Messenger of Allāh صَلَّى اللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم.' [adh-Dhahabī; Mu'jam 1/73/58]
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  20. Salaam. Multiple explosions and gun fights attributed to ISIS. 3 explosions so far. Multiple deaths and injuries including US troops. r/afghancivilwar (reddit) is a good source for quick information.
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  21. Imām ibn Rajab Al Ḥanbali رحمه الله recorded in his Kitāb Latāif al Ma'arif that 'Abdullāh ibn Mubārak رحمه الله visited Imām Sufyān ath-Thawrī رحمه الله on the evening of the day of Arafah and he found him crying He asked him: Who is the greatest loser on this day? Sufyān replied: "The one who thinks Allāh shall not forgive him!"
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  22. "I am not jealous of anything as much as I am jealous of a believer who is in his grave and has been saved from the punishment from Allah and has been relieved from the Dunya." — Masruq رضي الله عنه [Kitab al-Zuhd Wa al-Raqaiq pg 280]
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  23. Principles of Tasawwuf: 308: Strive against the lower self for the sake of the Lord of the Worlds and be endowed with the stations of certainty: 309: fear (Allah), hope (in Allah), thankfulness (to Allah), patience (with trials and staying away from sins), repentance, abstinence (preferring Allah over this dunya), dependence (on Allah), contentment (with the decree of Allah), and love (for Allah).
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  24. Advice on Teaching Daughters About Menses – Ustadh Abdus Shakur Brooks Question: How does a mother bring up the topic of menses to her daughter? Does she prepare her for what is going to happen and introduce the fiqh, or does she wait till she has her menses and then indirectly teach? Answer: Girls should generally be taught about menses before it occurs -without introducing technical matters of fiqh. A mother can introduce the subject to her by informing her that a day will come when she will see something called “menses”. She should explain to her what it is and why it happens a sign of her “growing up” and that when it occurs both angels on her right and left will begin to record her actions, thus Allah will have higher expectations of her; that she should pray, fast and wear hijab just like her mother. The mother must also inform her that she will have to stay away from boys and that Allah does not like her mixing with them. In general the mother needs to implant in her daughter’s mind and heart that seeing menses means a “great change in her life” that will make her a much more important in regards to her relationship with Allah and her religion. This will cause her to think about the coming of “the important day” which she will see as an interesting step in her life. The mother can also tell her a little bit about it before bed. This should be done randomly and not all at one time. A mother should also inform her that there are instructions that she will need to learn and that she will teach her in the near future. When she sees menses for the first time she will most likely come running to her mother overwhelmed and excited. At that point the mother should buy her (or already have bought) a little “special” calendar book and tell her to record the days of her menses. This type of teaching allows the girl to have her first responsibility for this “new beginning” she is experiencing. The point of giving her a calendar book and having her record her days of menses is to implant in her mind the importance of being responsible about this issue. The mother should inform her that when she is done bleeding that she should report back to her. When she tells her mother menses is done, the mother should teach her about the signs of indicate that menses is complete, and also teach her that her menses is now a fixed number of days based on the number of days she bled the first time. The mother should not forget to tell her to keep recording her menses every month and also to report back to her in any case when her blood stops before her fixed number of days or if it passes her fixed number of days. When the girl informs her mother about any of these cases then she should teacher her daughter the rules that apply to each situation such as the basics of what is covered in the Maliki fiqh text al-Akhdari. (You can listen to the course here and also listen to the course Menses & Postnatal According To The Maliki School). The mother should tell her to keep record these notes in her little book and she should also help her to do so. Following this type of education (tarbiyyah) will give the mother the ability to teach her daughter how to apply, and understand the general rules of menses without being “technical” until she gets a little older when she can learn from books. During the whole process the mother becomes like a practical guide for her. It is preferable that menstruation be taught by the mother before the father although if the father is a single parent then there is no doubt that he will have to teach her himself. Lastly just as the mother teaches her the rules of menses, she must also teach her about how to perform a proper ritual washing (ghusl). This is my advice. Allah knows best. Ustadh Abdus Shakur Brooks Reviewed and finalized 6/14/2011
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  25. Pregnant women fasting My question is regarding my wifes pregnancy and fasting. My wife is 7.5 months pregnant and we have decided that she doesnt fast this year because its the main stage for her pregnancy and it could be a risk. So how much money or people do we feed for every fast. Answer: In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful. If a woman is in her early stages of her pregnancy and by fasting it would not affect the health of the mother and nor of the unborn child then it is obligatory upon her to fast. However, if the woman genuinely fears harm or sickness for herself or for the unborn child only then it is permissible for her not to fast. There must have been a previous experience where at that time in her pregnancy it affected her or the unborn child’s health. Also if a god fearing qualified Muslim doctor advises her not to fast then she is also exempt from fasting. (Fatawa Hindiyyah p.207 v.1) With regards to your question, after she gives birth and she has recovered and is clean from her postnatal bleeding it is obligatory for her to do qadha of the fasts of Ramadhan. She will not be allowed to give compensation for the missed fasts. Compensation for missed fasts (fidyah) is given by those who cannot fast at all such as a very old man or woman where there is no hope of him getting better. (Maraqi Falah p.453) The conclusion to the answer is that it is obligatory for your wife to do qadha of her fast. Only Allah Knows Best Mohammed Tosir Miah Darul Ifta Birmingham. Source
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  26. Shu‘bah narrated from Hishām who said Qatādah reported on the authority of Yūnus ibn Jubair: شُعْبَةُ، وَهِشَامٌ: عَنْ قَتَادَةَ، عَنْ يُوْنُسَ بنِ جُبَيْرٍ، قَالَ: We were with Jundub b. ‘Abdillâh Al-Bajalî رضي الله عنه I asked him, “Advise us.” He said: “I advise you to fear Allāh ﷻ and obey Him (taqwā) And I advise you to adhere to the Qur’ān, For it is a light in the dark night and a guidance during the day, So implement it no matter how much struggle and poverty you have to face. If a calamity befalls you, put your wealth forward to protect your religion, And if the calamity continues, put forward your wealth and your life to save your religion [but never risk your religion], For the ruined is he whose religion is ruined, And the looted is he whose religion is taken. And know that there is no poverty after Paradise, And no riches after the Fire.” [Siyar Aʿlām ʿl-Nubalāʾ 3/174]
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  27. Emotional WellbeingPhysical WellbeingSelf Improvement The Beast In The Mirror: Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder “Mirrors are perpetually deceitful. They lie and steal your true self. They reveal only what your mind believes it sees.” – Dee Remy Are you finding yourself in front of your mirror on a regular basis and noting all of your imperfections? Are you embarrassed to leave the home because of a minor flaw or blemish on your face? Is plastic surgery on the horizon for you in the near future? If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may be dealing with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). The DSM-IV defines BDD as “a preoccupation with an imagined defect in appearance. If a slight physical anomaly is present, the person’s concern is markedly excessive. This preoccupation often causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. This preoccupation is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (eg, dissatisfaction with body shape and size in anorexia nervosa).” BDD is distinguished from anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa , to the extent that patients w anorexia or bulimia disorders are preoccupied with their overall weight and body shape. BDD however focuses on a specific area and is not related to weight or dieting. An example might be an adolescent who thinks that her breasts are too large and wants to have plastic surgery to reduce their size but is otherwise unconcerned about her weight and is eating normally. Recent statistics indicate a many as 50% of patients diagnosed with BDD undergo plastic surgery to correct their perceived physical defects. Individuals with BDD often focus so much on the defect, they often lose sight of the whole self. A person with a pimple on their nose might feel it is considerably larger than it actually is and their reactions fit their perception rather than reality. This may be caused by an error in the visual processing region of your brain. This visual processing error can lead to low self-esteem, high suicide risk, and repeated cosmetic surgery. Although the symptoms appear psychological in nature, new research by UCLA psychiatrist Jamie D. Feusner appears to indicate it might actually be linked to problems with seeing the big picture in the brain. In the study, subjects were shown blurred pictures of their own faces while inside the fMRI machine. Dr. Feusner observed, compared to healthy control subjects, those subjects identified with BDD showed much less activity in the brain region responsible for forming visual details into composite forms. This inability to see the whole picture generalized to other activities as well, including looking at pictures of houses. People with BDD tend to have difficulty seeing the whole picture and cannot process the context of what they are looking at. This perceptual error seems to be the underlying reason individuals suffer from a distorted self image, which defines BDD. Causes of BDD Although recent research points to an error in the visual processing region of the brain, other research indicates the cause might be related to low seratonin levels in the brain. Seratonin, a neurotransmitter produced by the brain, is often associated with depression and mood disorders when levels are below normal in the brain. Another significant factor in the development of BDD is the influence of the mass media, particularly the role of advertising in spreading images of physically “perfect” men and women. Impressionable young children and adolescents absorb the message that anything short of physical perfection is unacceptable. This may lead to developing distorted perceptions of their own faces and bodies. Family of origin plays an important role in our self perceptions, which can increase our vulnerability to BDD. Children whose parents are obsessed with appearance, dieting, and/or bodybuilding; or who are highly critical of their children’s looks, are at greater risk of developing BDD. A history of trauma and abuse can also be an additional factor. When an individual with a history of trauma or abuse buries their feelings about the abuse or traumatic incident, the oppressed feelings can emerge in the form of obsessions about physical features. This “reassignment” of feelings is called displacement. An example that best describes this displacement is an adolescent with a history of physical abuse as a young child becoming obsessed with body building and strength. Individuals with BDD can have symptoms similar to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) since anxiety is at the root of both disorders. Symptoms of BDD include: Ritualistic Behavior: Ritualistic behavior refers to actions that the individual performs to manage anxiety and that take up excessive amounts of his/her time. Individuals are frequently upset if someone or something interferes with or interrupts their ritual. For individuals diagnosed with BDD, these ritualistic behaviors may include exercise or makeup routines, assuming specific poses or postures in front of a mirror, etc. Camouflaging: Individuals with BDD usually spend a great amount of time camouflaging “problem” feature or body part with makeup, hats, or clothing. 94% of individuals with BDD have reported camouflaging. Mirror Obsession: Abnormal behavior around mirrors, large storefront windows, or similar reflecting surfaces is common with individuals with BDD. A majority of individuals diagnosed with BDD frequently check their appearance in mirrors or spend long periods of time doing so. A few react in the opposite direction and avoid mirrors when possible. Fishing for Compliments: Individual with BDD frequently ask for reassurance from others about their appearance. Self Comparisons: Individuals with BDD frequently compare their own appearance to others. Social Avoidance: Due to their insecurities, individual with BDD often avoid activities outside the home, including school and social events*. *The loss of functioning resulting from BDD can have serious consequences for the individuals future. Adolescents with BDD often cut school and may be reluctant to participate in sports, youth groups, or hold part-time or summer jobs. Many individuals are unable to remain in school, form healthy relationships, or keep steady jobs. Adults with muscle dysmorphia have been known to turn down job promotions in order to have more time to focus on their imperfections by working out more at the gym or fitness centers. The economic consequences of BDD can include overspending on cosmetics, clothing, or plastic surgery. Treatment Individuals with BDD often respond well to medications such as antidepressants as well as individual therapy using Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). CBT has been found useful in reducing BDD symptoms. With CBT, individuals learn to see themselves in the mirror without the need for negative self talk or tendency to focus on the negative defects. CBT also challenges inaccurate self-perceptions the individual might have about themselves. Relaxation techniques paired with CBT work well for individuals with BDD. In more severe cases, hospitalization may be warranted for individuals with BDD. Since BDD patients have a high rate of self-destructive behavior, including performing surgery on themselves at home (e.g. liposuction followed by skin stapling, removing facial scars with sand paper, or even sawing down their teeth), hospitalization might be the best place for them to get the help they need. Individuals with severe cases of BDD have a high rate of attempted and completed suicide. Out of 100 individuals diagnosed with BDD, 48% have been hospitalized for psychiatric reasons and 30% had made at least one suicide attempt. Prevention The best preventive strategy appears to be simply challenging the perception of those afflicted with unrealistic images of themselves. Despite the pervasive influence of the mass media in our lives, we must educate ourselves and our children about the realities of those supposed “perfect” images we are exposed to. Point out the airbrushing and photo-shopping involved in getting models to look a certain way. Most importantly, talk to young children about the pitfalls of trying to look “perfect”. Teach them the importance of being well rounded, mentally and physically. Stop complimenting girls and boys on just their physical appearance and attributes. Compliment them on being smart, kind, compassionate, and generous rather than on being beautiful and cute. By doing so, you are teaching them to value themselves as a whole rather than a physical part or feature. Lastly, educate yourself on the symptoms of BDD and pay attention to changes in your children’s dress and behavior. Early intervention is key. Dr. Nafisa Sekandari mentalhealth4muslims
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  28. As-Salaam alaikum, The Noble Messenger of Allah, Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam, said:-- ''Contemplate those who have less than you and not those who have more than you, lest you belittle the favors of Allah conferred upon you''. (Bukari and Muslim)
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  29. Yes I know and I mailed brother Arshad couple of weeks ago
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  30. The right woman is a blessing from Allah. If you have a woman by your side, who makes you feel at ease, a woman who you feel at peace with. When you look at her you feel love and mercy in your heart. She defends your honor and you defend hers. She fears her Creator and you fear Him. She cares about your rights and you care about hers. If you love each other for the sake of Allah, if you care about each others akhira and do everything to make each other better. If you got this.. You are richer than most people. I often talk about love because i really believe that a strong and peaceful household, built out of love of Allah, fearing Allah is the solution to a lot of problems we have these days. Thats what makes this ummah strong. A strong household makes you strong as a individual. Especially as a man, the best thing you can give a woman, your family is knowledge. Invest in each other, and each others akhira. A motivation for me to gain knowledge is so im able to teach my family. Alhamdulillah.. may Allah grant us a household in which we feel at peace and ease. A household that has ghair and barakah in it. A woman that has your back, and does whatever she can to make you happy. A household built out of Love for Allah. A household in which knowledge is spread. (Im not trying to romanticize anything but honestly, love and mercy between a husband and wife are signs from Allah. When the love fades away, there will still be mercy, and in sha Allah love comes back). A good woman can make a man feel like a king. A good household is your Jannah on earth. But it requires hard work, commitment and patience. Bradley Morrell
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  31. Its really bad situation nowadays for Muslims Particularly India Muslims. I think war between India and China will be increase in future due to this part of place.
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  32. https://www.youtube.com/watch?edufilter=NULL&v=BkXSfnyF8QE
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  33. What can we do in one minute? سُبْحَانَ اللهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلّٰهِ وَلَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَاللهُ أَكْبَرُ Subhaa-nallaah, wal-hamdu Lillah, wa laa ilaaha illallaah, wallaahu Akbar Glory be to Allaah, praise be to Allaah, there is no god except Allaah, and Allaah is the Greatest Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said,” To say this is more beloved to me than all that the sun rises upon.” (Sahih Muslim) In one minute, you can say the above words more than 18 times. These words are the most beloved words to Allaah, the best of words, and they weigh heavily in the balance of good deeds. _______________________________________________________ سُبْحَانَ اللهِ وَبِحَمْدِهِ، سُبْحَانَ اللهِ العَظِيمِ Subhaa-nallaahi wa bi hamdi-hi, Subhaa nallaa hil Azeem Glory and praise be to Allaah, glory be to Allaah, the Almighty In one minute you can say it 50 times. These are two phrases which are light on the lips, heavy in the balance and beloved to the Most Merciful. _______________________________________________________ سُبْحَانَ اللهِ وَبِحَمْدِهِ Subhaa-nallaahi wa bi hamdi-hi Glory and praise be to Allaah In one minute you can say it 100 times. Whoever says that in one day will be forgiven for his sins even if they are like the foam of the sea. _______________________________________________________ لاَ حَوْلَ وَلاَ قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah There is no strength and no power except with Allaah In one minute you can say it more than 40 times. This is one of the treasures of Paradise. _______________________________________________________ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ Laa ilaaha illallaah There is no Deity besides Allaah In one minute you can say it approximately 50 times. This is the greatest word, for it is the word of Tawheed, the good word, the word that stands firm. If these are the last words of a person, he will enter Paradise. _______________________________________________________ أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ Astaghfirullaah I seek the forgiveness of Allaah In one minute you can seek the forgiveness of Allaah more than 100 times. The virtues of seeking forgiveness are a means of attaining forgiveness and entering Paradise, and it is the means of being granted a good life, increasing one’s strength, warding off disasters, making things easier and increasing one’s wealth and children. _______________________________________________________ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ Salallahu alayhi wa sallam May Allaah bless him and grant him peace In one minute you can send blessings on Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam 50 times by saying the above. In return, Allaah will send blessings upon you 500 hundred times because one blessing brings ten like it. The above actions are among the greatest means of attaining happiness, expanding the chest (i.e., bringing relief and joy) and removing stress and anxiety. May Allaah help us to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
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  34. The scalp has to be wet...not all the hair. So you pour water over the head making sure the whole scalp is wet I posted this Q/A because many women think the "roots" of the hair is the end part of the hair
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  35. Mufti Shabbir Ahmad said, “All those who are at home due to the Coronavirus should spend their time wisely and start memorising the Quran. Some of our scholars memorised the entire Quran in jail.”
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  36. The ‘Suhbat’ or company of the Auliya Allah (Friends of Allah Ta’ala) is such that even if they remain silent in their Majaalis, those who are present and who had come with sincerity, will leave with Noor in their hearts. It is via this Noor that a person makes sincere Taubah, and it is this Noor which is instrumental in creating the keen desire of change in the person’s life. Fragrant roses in a room do not give any speech. Their fragrance imbues throughout the room, enters the nostrils and creates pleasure in the heart. The conditions for benefiting are : The roses must be real and fragrant; not artificial. The people in the room must have their noses open and sinuses unclogged. In a similar manner, the person must be a genuine Wali of Allah Ta’ala and not a fraud, and the people sitting in his company must have love and respect for him and must sit with an open and unprejudiced heart, willing to receive. People sitting in the talks of a Wali, harbouring malice against that Wali, will derive no benefit whatsoever. What would be a person’s reaction, when instead of these virtues, he or she finds arrogance, pride, malice, greed, jealousy, etc.? (Hazrat Mawlana Yunus Patel rah)
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  37. Abu Dardaa (r) teaches how to deal with sinners | Short Reminders Series | Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb
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  38. Wa Ma Tawfeeqi il-laah bil-laahby MuQeet Dear brothers and sisters, Assalamu Alaikum. In today’s society, success seems to have many “fathers”. Failure is an orphan. Nobody wants to own it! You might have heard people bragging: ‘Your success is because of me!’ ‘You got promoted because of my recommendation!’ ‘Without me, you’ll be nowhere!’ ‘Your accomplishment is due to my favour!’ ‘No, it’s not because of him, its only because of me, you achieved success!’!! A true Muslim understands the hollowness of such a bragging! “Wa Ma Tawfeeqee il-laah bil-laah” is a powerfully loaded statement. It facilitates a Muslim in burying arrogance and autocracy. Saying “Wa Ma Tawfeeqee il-laah bil-laah” is awe inspiring. Emaan boasting. Heart solacing! “Wa Ma Tawfeeqee il-laah bil-laah” is one statement that highlights the reality of all realities: Success, prosperity, strength, guidance, accomplishment, consistence, compatibility, good fortune, happy outcome – all come from Allah alone. He is the Giver of Success and Succour. Saying “Wa Ma Tawfeeqee il-laah bil-laah” not only brings solace to one’s heart, it makes a Muslim emotionally and psychologically stronger. Those who listen to this statement also are blessed in that it makes them think and therefore provide an opportunity to save themselves from falling into the pitfalls created by Shaytaan. Uttered by Prophet Shu’ayb, alaihis-salam, while addressing his nation, this statement is one of the oft-repeated Islamic declarations especially by those dedicated in the field of da’wah, teaching-learning-propagating. “He (Prophet Shu’ayb) said, “O my people, have you considered: if I am upon clear evidence from my Lord and He has provided me with a good provision from Him…? And I do not intend to differ from you in that which I have forbidden you; I only intend reform as much as I am able. And my success is not but through Allah. Upon him I have relied, and to Him I return”. (Surah Huud 11: 88) The word Tawfeeq comes from the Arabic root ‘waaw-fa-qaaf’ (wafaqa) which means ‘to match, to agree with, to occur at a time of something, to succeed, to be right, proper, suitable, fit, appropriate, to be well-guarded, to adapt, to have success, be successful, to inspire’. The Arabic word “Tawfeeq” is so rich that it carries myriad of meanings: “conformation, adaptation, accommodation, balancing, adjustment, settlement, reconciliation, mediation, peace making, success, succeeding, successfulness, happy outcome, good fortune, prosperity”. Owing to the richness of the Arabic word “Tawfeeq”, I feel these translators have found difficulty while translating into English, and this is evident in the following different translations: “And my success is not but through Allah” (Sahih International) “And my guidance cannot come except from Allah”(Muhsin Khan and Hilali) “My welfare is only in Allah” (Pickthall) “and my success (in my task) can only come from Allah” (Yusuf Ali) “My succour is only with Allah” (Zafar Ishaq Ansari, for Maududi) “And accomplishment of my wish can come only from Allah” (Basheer Ahmed Mohyideen) “And whatever (good) I do is due to the help of Allah” (Imtiaz Ahmed) “Nor is my success in the hands of other than God”. (Ahmad Zaki Hammad) “My success depends on Allah alone”(Aadil Salahi, for Sayyid Qutb) “and no success (in bringing about the reform) can I attain except by Allah’s will” (Dr. Mohar Ali) Since ‘to inspire’ is also one meaning of Tawfeeq, we can translate Wa Ma Tawfeeqee il-laah bil-laah as: ‘And my inspiration can come only from Allah”. To sum up: We all need to believe and accept, understand and have firm conviction in declaring: “My success, my inspiration, my guidance, my succour, my accomplishment, my reconciliation in my reform work, my welfare, my adjustment, my adaptation, my prosperity can come only and only through Allah, and none else”! Attributing success to Allah must be the way of a true Muslim. إِنْ أُرِيدُ إِلَّا الْإِصْلَاحَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ ۚ وَمَا تَوْفِيقِي إِلَّا بِاللَّـهِ ۚ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ وَإِلَيْهِ أُنِيبُ – I only intend to reform to be best of my ability and my success in my work can come only from Allah. May Allah give us the much-needed Tawfeeq and Hidayah to live by His Guidance. Aameen. Jazakallahu Khayra for reading this post of mine. Source: https://jamiat.org.za/tawfeeq-ability/
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  39. The Reality of Wazā'if Hadrat Mawlana Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullah When struck by an illness, difficulty or calamity, it is natural for us to try our best to relieve ourselves of it. Allāh ta'ālā, being our Creator, is well aware of this, and consequently He has not only permitted, but also encouraged us to adopt means that help us to remove the difficulty we find ourselves in. However, due to our limited understanding and knowledge we do not adopt the correct means, or if we do, then we do not adopt them suitably. There are two types of means that we can utilise to help us at a time of difficulty: spiritual and worldly. From these, we should always adopt spiritual resources first. Adopting spiritual resources means turning to Allāh ta'ālā. This in itself further comprises two parts: the first is to assess our lives and see where we are faltering in our obedience to Allāh ta'ālā; having realised this, we should strive towards rectification through tawbah and istighfār. The second part is to make du'ā to Allāh ta'ālā and ask Him to fulfil our needs and remove the difficulty. After this, we should adopt suitable and permissible worldly resources. Those who are ill should take advice from an experienced and qualified doctor and follow his advice. Those involved in a court case should seek help from an experienced lawyer. However, we must ensure that in adopting worldly resources we do not do anything contrary to the Pleasure of the Creator. Common Mistakes After understanding the correct procedure to follow when trying to remove difficulties, let us now look at some common mistakes made in this regard. Those Muslims who do not follow the Sharī'ah do not adopt spiritual resources at all. Their attention is entirely on worldly resources. We must remember that these means will only prove beneficial if Allāh ta'ālā wills. Therefore, without turning to Allāh ta'ālā there is no guarantee of success. Those who, to some degree, do follow the injunctions of the Sharī'ah, adopt spiritual resources, but do so according to their own limited understanding. A common mistake is giving too much importance to wazā'if. (Wazā'if refers to the recitation of certain verse(s), name(s) of Allāh ta'ālā etc. a certain number of times to fulfil a particular need.) Too much attention on wazā'if can lead people to overlook the importance given to du'ā by our Sharī'ah, and as a result, it is not valued as it should be. Du'ā is considered to be something 'common', 'ordinary' and 'simple'. And because wazā'if have special quantities, prerequisites etc. attached, they appear as something special. As a result, people are more inclined towards wazā'if than they are to du'ā, whereas in reality, du'ā is the key to solving our problems. Even though wazā'if can be of benefit, there is a very big difference between them and du'ā. Du'ā will be counted as an 'ibādah, even if it be for a worldly item, such as a job, good health or passing a driving test. However, as far as wazā'if are concerned, their recitation will not be rewarded as they are not classed as ibādah. Another distinction is that while making du'ā we rely solely on Allāh ta'ālā, aware that it is only Allāh ta'ālā who in reality can help us, solve our problems and remove our difficulties. With wazā'if, our attention diverts towards the 'power' of the wazā'if. The Reality of Wazā'if In essence, it is only Allāh ta'ālā who removes difficulties, and du'ā is to ask Allāh ta'ālā to do just that. What chance is there of attracting the Help of Allāh ta'ālā through wazā'if if the person reciting them does not have any connection with Him? Once a person came to Shaykh Ya'qūb Majaddidi rahimahullāh and asked him to explain the reality of wazā'if. The Shaykh did not give him a direct answer, but instead explained through an example, making use of a police officer who was present nearby. The Shaykh asked, "If you were to say to this policeman, 'You are fired!' What will happen?" The person replied, "Nothing, it will have no impact whatsoever." The Shaykh then asked, "What if you were to repeat the sentence a hundred times?" The reply was the same. The Shaykh further asked, "What if you were to sit with a tasbīh (prayer beads) and repeat it a thousand times?" Again he gave the same reply, that it would make no difference whatsoever. The Shaykh then asked him how he could fire the policeman. The person explained that he would need to join the police force and work hard until he became the policeman's superior. Then just saying 'You are fired' once would be enough to have him removed. The Shaykh then explained that this is the same case with wazā'if. If a person were to recite a certain verse, name of Allāh ta'ālā etc. a thousand times, it will have no effect until and unless the person acquires a position in Allāh's S eyes and becomes beloved to Him. Once he does so, he will just have to make du'ā once and Allāh ta'ālā will accept it. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu 'alayhi wasallam has said: "There are many who are dishevelled, covered in dust, turned away from people's doors, who, if they were to take an oath by Allāh, Allāh ta'ālā would surely carry it out." (Muslim) "(When my servant becomes my beloved) and he asks from me, I will grant him." (Al-Bukhārī) Turning To Allāh ta'ālā Completely There are many who do turn to Allāh ta'ālā and engage in du'ā, but do not realise that there are certain obstacles that prevent the du'ā from being accepted. One major obstacle is disobedience to Allāh ta'ālā; therefore, we need to turn to Allāh ta'ālā completely, after making a full assessment of our lives. For example, someone neglectful of Salāh needs to become punctual with Salāh; someone involved in a particular sin needs to stop that sin immediately and repent. This is because it is very possible that the difficulty afflicting us is due to a sin we are committing, and du'ā will not bear fruit if the cause of the difficulty remains. Therefore, repenting from sin and changing one's life for the better is also a necessity for the acceptance of du'ā. Allāh ta'ālā's Will If after adopting all these means, the difficulty is still not removed, then we should remember that Allāh ta'ālā is Al-Hakīm (The Most Wise) and Al-Hākim (The Supreme Ruler). It is very possible that Allāh ta'ālā has something better in mind for us. While wishing for the difficulty to be removed, we may be unaware of the benefits hidden in it. However, Allāh's S knowledge is complete and He knows what is better for us in the long term. Therefore, if a difficulty remains then we should remain content and happy with Allāh's S decision. From the Ahādīth we learn that the du'ās of a believer are invariably accepted (provided their requisites have been fulfilled), but their acceptance is manifested in either of the following three ways: a) sometimes Allāh immediately answers them and blesses the seeker with what was asked for; b) sometimes He substitutes what was asked for with something that in His Knowledge is better for the seeker; c) alternatively, through the blessings of the du'ā, He removes an impending calamity that was to befall the seeker. At times, none of the above is the case, and instead the du'ā is saved for the hereafter. Such unanswered du'ās will bear so much reward in the hereafter that the seeker will wish that none of his du'ās had been accepted in the world. (Kanz-ul-'Ummāl) Source
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  40. Question: What is the ruling if a woman makes tawāf al-ziyārah in the state of haydh ? Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh . As long as a woman cannot perform the tawāf al-ziyārah due to her haydh there is no penalty for her in delaying it even if she does it after its time has passed (sunset on the 12th of Dhul-Hijjah.) If a woman performs tawāf al-ziyārah while in haydh then in such a case it is wājib for her to repeat that tāwaf in a state of purity as long as she is present in Makkah. Repeating the tawāf will erase the penalty that would otherwise have been wājib on her for making tawāf al-ziyārah while in haydh. However if she does not repeat the tawāf al-ziyārah which she had performed while in haydh the tawāf will still be valid, but a penalty of one camel or one cow will now have to be given within the precincts of the Haram. She should also make istighfār for entering Masjid Al-Harām and doing tawāf inhaydh. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai. http://jamiat.org.za/blog/tawaf-al-ziyarah-in-the-state-of-haidh/
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  41. Wa'alaykumus salaam warahmatullah dear sister Safiyah In order to help you insha-allah we will need your habits in menstruation and the purity between menstruation. Do you have a record of the dates before the problem started? If you do then let us know and we will contact you
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  42. Lifting the veil on the Niqaab debate Mufti Amjad Mohammad Lifting the Veil on the niqab.pdf
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  43. Psychological Tsunami By: Haleh Banani, MA Clinical Psychology Domestic violence affects the psychological and emotional well being of a woman the way a tsunami brings colossal destruction and unparalleled devastation to a metropolitan city. The unpredictability and dangerous nature of men who abuse their wives creates terror, anxiety and depression in women, the way a storm indiscriminately destroys without warning; leaving inhabitants in a state of shock and constant fear. The deep, emotional scars last much longer than the superficial bruises and broken bones that usually demand our attention and provoke our sympathy. The emotional debris will take years to completely be cleared causing emotional bankruptcy and vulnerability which can lead to suicide. The ferocious waves of violence cause a series of long lasting, psychological damages: Depression Domestic violence floods women with feelings of sadness, hopelessness and despair which generally lead to depression. 60% of battered women reported having depression which is the most common symptom of domestic violence.3 Depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for weeks or longer. Sadness affects every aspect of life: thoughts, feelings, sleeping, eating, physical health, relationships and the ability to function at work. When victims experience interpersonal violence from a spouse or family member, they are at high risk for mental and emotional illnesses. There is a strong feeling of abandonment, betrayal and instability when they are abused by someone who should be protecting and nurturing them. Although it is natural to feel sad when faced with difficult tests, as a believer it is critical to understand that there is wisdom in everything that happens. Understanding and accepting divine destiny does not mean tolerating abuse by any means. It simply means that life is filled with tests and that trust needs to be placed in Allah while searching for the right solutions. It was narrated by Suhayb that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “How amazing is the condition of the believer, for all his affairs are good. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and he is rewarded; if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and he is also awarded.” Narrated by Muslim (2999). Do not despair of solace from Allah. No one despairs of solace from Allah except for people who do not believe. (Surah Yusuf 87) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) After the devastation of domestic violence, most women experience the aftershock of abuse: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder which can occur after you've seen or experienced a traumatic event that involved the threat of injury or death. It is very common for victims of domestic violence to continue to fear their spouse even if they have separated. PTSD is characterized by symptoms such as flashbacks, intrusive imagery, nightmares, anxiety, emotional numbing, insomnia, hyper-vigilance and avoidance of traumatic triggers. There are many factors that affect the intensity of PTSD: severity of the violence, the duration of exposure, early-age onset and the victim's cognitive assessment of the violence (perceived degree of threat, predictability and control-ability). The way to cope with any form of anxiety is turning to Allah and trusting His plan while striving hard to overcome the fear. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No exhaustion, pain, anxiety, grief, harm or distress befalls a Muslim, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allah will expiate some of his sins with them.” Narrated by al-Bukhari (5318) and Muslim (2573). Anxiety Fear and anxiety consume a victim of domestic violence the way a tidal wave engulfs a city. The fear lingers in a woman's psyche long after the abuse has taken place. This anxiety can prevent her from concentrating, falling asleep and performing at home or work. Paranoia and inability to trust others are the most frequent traits of the victims of domestic violence. 25 million Americans suffer from anxiety disorders which are the most common of emotional disorders. Some of the symptoms may include: Overwhelming feelings of panic and fear Uncontrollable obsessive thoughts Painful, intrusive memories Recurring nightmares Physical symptoms such as feeling sick to your stomach, “butterflies” in your stomach, heart pounding, startling easily and muscle tension The most beloved people, the prophets, were tested the most. It is essential to keep the stories of the prophets in mind and recall that instead of feeling anxious when faced with threat, oppression and harm, they put their trust in Allah. وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ We will test you with a certain amount of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and life and fruits. But give good news to the steadfast (Surat al-Baqara, 155) الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ “Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: Without a doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction. (Al-Raad 28) Low Self-Esteem Verbal and emotional abuse are like earthquakes that brutally shake the foundation of a woman's self-esteem. They shatter her self- confidence, tear down her sense of security and destroy her self-respect . Each degrading remark, criticism and profanity is like a bulldozer that vehemently annihilates her sense of self-worth. The deep, emotional and psychological scars that are burned into her heart from the cursing, name-calling and humiliation will disable her from achieving her potentials, nurturing her children and attaining peace. She becomes so crippled emotionally that it is next to impossible to leave. Suicidal Like the victims of natural disasters that discover they have nothing left to live for, victims of domestic violence feel so overwhelmed with grief and hopelessness that many attempt suicide. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that many victims fall prey to has a profoundly undermining effect on their mental and emotional well being.4 Many times these women simply give up on life and they experience learned helplessness where they lose the will to live. Here are some of the signs of suicide contemplation: Talking about killing or harming one's self Expressing strong feelings of hopelessness or being trapped An unusual preoccupation with death or dying Acting recklessly, as if they have a death wish (e.g. speeding through red lights) Calling or visiting people to say goodbye Getting affairs in order (giving away prized possessions, tying up loose ends) Saying things like “Everyone would be better off without me” or “I want out.” If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, express your concern and seek professional help immediately. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life.6 See Suicide Prevention: Signs of Suicide and How to Help a Suicidal Person. The problems and difficulties that people endure are known and for a temporary period of time. Compare that to being faced with the unknown punishment in the hereafter for committing suicide for all eternity. يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَأْكُلُوا أَمْوَالَكُم بَيْنَكُم بِالْبَاطِلِ إِلَّا أَن تَكُونَ تِجَارَةً عَن تَرَاضٍ مِّنكُمْ ۚ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُمْ رَحِيمًا O you who have believed, do not consume one another's wealth unjustly but only [in lawful] business by mutual consent. And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful. 4:29 After a psychological tsunami that ruthlessly destroys feelings of self-worth and security, there needs to be massive action taken to recover from the lasting damages. The first step is to clean up the emotional debris and the shattered feelings. Time and money needs to be invested to reestablish self-worth. If the amount of damage is overwhelming, seek the support and guidance of professionals to overcome the devastation. Next, focused effort needs to be put in rebuilding self-esteem. By not internalizing the negative, destructive comments of others and reconfirming all positive traits, self-respect and dignity will be rebuilt. Trust in the self and in others will be essential in creating a strong foundation for developing lasting relationships. Perhaps the most important aspect of recovery is to gain hope in the future. Once the fire of hope is ignited it will shine so brightly and provide the necessary motivation to overcome all obstacles and to help others facing the same challenges. If you or someone you know is a VICTIM of abuse know: You are NOT ALONE There are avenues for HELP Ensure the SAFETY of you and your children You are a VALUABLE person who is worthy of love It is NEVER ACCEPTABLE to be physically, verbally or emotionally abused Narrated Abu Ma'bad, that the Prophet said, “… and be afraid of the supplication of an oppressed person because there is no screen between his invocation and Allah.” Sahih Bukhari: Volume 2, Book 24, Number 573. If you or someone you know is the ABUSER: Seek professional help to MANAGE YOUR ANGER It is not too late to CHANGE YOURSELF and CHANGE YOUR LIFE Find an OUTLET (sport or other activity) to release stress and frustration Seek the SUPPORT of family and friends REAL MEN DON'T ABUSE! “Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is oppressed.” The Prophet was asked: “It is right to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?” He replied: “By preventing him from oppressing others.” Sahih Bukhari, Volume 3, Hadith 624 In Islam, Prophet Muhammad (peace and prayer upon him) taught us to live with impeccable character and to treat our spouse with kindness, compassion and understanding. He said that the best man is he who is best to his wife. We should all aspire to live by his exceptional example. References: http://www.womensweb.ca/violence/dv/pregnancy.php Types of Trauma: Domestic Violence – San Francisco depression | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/depression-in-san-francisco/types-of-trauma-domestic-violence#ixzz1ZstUJQB9 http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/effects.shtml Types of Trauma: Domestic Violence – San Francisco depression | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/depression-in-san-francisco/types-of-trauma-domestic-violence#ixzz1Zsu4uQTE http://www.examiner.com/depression-in-san-francisco/types-of-trauma-domestic-violence Suicide Prevention: Signs of Suicide and How to Help a Suicidal Person. Source
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  44. Question I have a question about my menses…I have asked a few scholars about it and read some books, but no one has given me an answer yet about my specific case, therefore, every time I have my menses, I get very confused and don’t know what to do… The way I get it is like the following: Fr the first seven days, the discharge is red then for the rest 21-22 days it varies from month to month. 1) Sometimes I can get yellow discharge from days 8 to 13 and then no discharge from days 14 to 17 then yellow discharge from day 17 to 21. 2) Or I can get yellow discharge from days 8 to 16 then no discharge from days 17 to 20 then yellow discharge on days 21-22. 3) And sometimes, I can get continuous discharge from day 8 till day 21. 4) Also sometimes I might get yellow discharge from days 8 to 12, then no discharge on days 13-15, then discharge on days 16-18 then no discharge on days 18-21. 5) And sometimes it’s even different than that. So can u please give me the general ruling regarding my case so I can apply it any time I see yellow discharge…I read the answer where it says that if I see yellow discharge after or before I see red discharge then it is menstruation, if I see it any time other time, then it is istihadah, but this doesn’t work when I apply it to my case because it would be more than 10 days….What I normally do is stop praying when I see the red discharge and after 10 days, I start praying again until I see the red discharge in the next month….so I stop praying 10 days and pray for around 18-19 days…..is that correct? Answer Your matter is simple and clear. Your menses will be from the time you get a red discharge until the completion of the tenth day. It is immaterial that the colour of the discharge after the red discharge is yellow or any other colour besides white within the ten day period. Your discharge after ten days will be Istihaadha until you get the red discharge again the next month. You will be regarded as pure during your Istihaadha. Perform Wudhu at the beginning of every Salaat time. and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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  45. ''Cursed is the man who dies, but the evil done by him survives.'' [imam Abu Hanifa r.a]
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