ummtaalib

Squabbles are inevitable in any marriage. In fact, if a couple never argues, it’s a warning sign for the relationship. It could mean one or both partners have emotionally checked out of the marriage. As a wise man once said, ‘Fighting isn’t the issue in your marriage, it’s what happens after that really matters’ Below we’ll discuss a few tips from a seasoned marriage counsellor and spouse, with over 56 years of experience in marriage. Etiquettes for ‘Engagement’ 1. Never fight in public No one wants to see your dirty laundry aired in public. Those who ‘enjoy’ it are just there to broadcast it and gossip. The husband and wife will make up and be more in love than before the fight, but the outsider becomes bitter. Make sure to put on a brave face in front of everyone else. If you absolutely must, at least wait till you reach the bedroom to blow your top at your spouse. Have enough respect for each other to do it in private. 2. Don’t give the silent treatment (and NO stonewalling!) It doesn’t fix anything. It only makes matters worse. If you need some air or space, take a short walk. But when you come back, be ready to communicate. 3. Don’t go to bed angry Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t mean you should stay awake and fight all night. Tell your spouse you love them, apologise, and wholeheartedly agree to work it out in the morning. Often, you will find that both of you are tired, causing befogged minds. Get some rest, but make it absolutely clear to your spouse that, in the interim, the marriage is still a safe space. Be there for them in all other capacities. Discuss the issue when both of you have clearer minds and are rested. 4. Never argue in front of the kids Kids should feel their parents never fight If you want your children to grow up with a mocktail of various emotional issues; Fight in front of them. Make them a part of your arguments. Make sure they are within earshot when you raise your voice at your spouse. Obviously, no one wants this for their children. In fact, don’t even speak condescendingly to or about your spouse in front of your kids. Children are innocent and impressionable. They pick up a lot more than we adults realise. Your words and actions will eventually show in their behaviour towards their mother/father. As we know, in Islam, disrespecting one’s parents is detrimental. In short, by involving your children in your squabbles, you are harming them more than anyone else. 5. Not every fight is worth having Sometimes you just have to let it go. Don’t let your pride get in the way. Humble yourself, Allah Ta’ala is watching, and He will recompense you for this humility with a brilliant reward from His treasures. Nabi (ﷺ) mentions so beautifully, “No one humbles himself solely desiring (the pleasure of) Allah Ta’ala, except that Allah Ta’ala raises him (in rank and honour).” [Muslim:2588] Ask yourself the golden question ‘What’s more important? The issue I’m fighting about, or the marriage I ought to be fighting for!?’ Sometimes you have to bite your tongue. Remember! Once you’ve said something, there’s no getting it back. Once the statement has left your mouth, there’s no un-saying it. As the elders would say, ‘Fill your mouth with water’. Meaning, rather keep it to yourself and contemplate whether your thoughts should remain thoughts, or there is some benefit in verbalising them. If it’s the latter, make sure your approach and your manner of addressing are compassionate and considerate. Sometimes, we are correct, but our approach causes bad blood with our spouse. 7. Forgive! Forgive! Forgive! Our pride, ego and Shaytaan will make this seem like the hardest thing ever. When your rage is peaking, and your ‘hatred’ has reached an epitome, look at the man or woman in front of you. Recollect all those favours they’ve done for you. Recount the loving moments you’ve shared with him/her. Inhale. Exhale. And forgive. If there’s anyone deserving of your forgiveness, it is your spouse! How beautiful is the encouragement of our Nabi (ﷺ). What further incentive does a Mu’min require after these words, “Allah Ta’ala only increases a person in honour and respect when he forgives.” [Muslim2588] Granted. Marital disagreements are draining But Insha Allah if we adhere to these seven steps in the face of disagreements, we’ll grow closer as a couple. We will learn to peacefully navigate the most tempestuous storms life throws at us. Nothing will ever rock our ship of marriage, and most importantly, we will get through every dilemma in the best way possible; Together! Adapted from hafizqaasim.co.za Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

If a person has one apple and thereafter buys another apple, how many apples will he have? The answer is obvious — two apples. Similarly, if a person has one child and is then blessed with another child, he will now have two children. This elementary concept of one-plus-one-equals-two is so basic that even kindergartners (pre-school children) have ‘mastered’ it and understand that two sweets are better than one! However, there is one occasion when even the most intelligent of people can forget this concept and thus lose out — the occasion of ill-treatment. When someone shows us bad behaviour and ill treats us, there are several ways in which we can react. Some people break down into tears, some simply ignore the offender and walk away, and others retaliate. However, as Muslims, the question we need to ask is, “Which response will please Allah Ta‘ala?” In this regard, the Quraan Majeed teaches us that forgiving and overlooking is closer to taqwa and piety. By treading the path of pardoning people, we will be emulating the blessed example of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) who forgave even the worst offenders. This will undoubtedly earn us the happiness and pleasure of Allah Ta‘ala — a prize with which nothing can equate. Many people choose to retaliate and ‘prove a point’ to the one who has offended them — and this is where we fail to remember our pre-school addition. If we are shown bad behaviour, and we retaliate with bad behaviour, then the result is a double dose of bad behaviour, it’s simple maths! Hence, instead of improving the situation, we have worsened it. Instead of displaying exemplary character and emulating Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), we have stooped to the level of the offender and emulated his behaviour. When a person retaliates, he enjoys a moment of satisfaction. However, in the long run, he knows that he missed a golden opportunity to earn huge reward. Thus, soon thereafter, his short-lived euphoria (happiness) fades and is replaced with a lasting feeling of wretchedness and emptiness. To forgive and forget when faced by an offensive person may be a bitter pill to swallow. However, after the initial bitterness fades, it will be replaced by a feeling of happiness that stems from practicing on the sunnah of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and pleasing Allah Ta‘ala. This person will have no regrets and excess baggage weighing him down as his heart will be clean and free of grudges. Finally, when retaliating, one is forced to tread a fine line, as it is not permissible for one to retaliate by doing more than the offender had done. Unfortunately, most people fail in this regard. In response to ten words of abuse, they reply with one hundred words, and post it online to be ‘liked’ and ‘re-tweeted’ for good measure. So, the next time someone treats us badly, let us be the bigger person by rising to the character of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) instead of belittling ourselves by stooping to the bad behaviour of the offender. uswatulmuslimah

Islam places great importance on marriage, viewing it as the foundation of the family and society. Through marriage, families are established, and it provides the only Halaal and legitimate means of intimacy between a man and a woman. Allah Ta’ala describes marriage as a strong covenant. Allah Ta’ala says: “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.” (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21) 1. Practise patience. Patience is essential in family life. Many marital difficulties arise when spouses fail to tolerate one another’s shortcomings. 2. Exchange gifts. Gifts strengthen affection, even when they are simple and inexpensive. Rasulullah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallamsaid: “Give gifts to each other, as this will make you love one another.” (Al-Adab al-Mufrad) 3. Make time to talk. Despite busy schedules, spouses should set aside time to sit together and communicate without the distraction of television, mobile phones or social media. 4. Greet each other warmly. Make Salaam upon entering the home and enquire about one another’s well-being. Rasulullah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “You will not enter Jannah until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I show you something which, if you do it, will make you love one another? Spread Salaam among yourselves.” (Sahih Muslim) 5. Praise each other. Express appreciation through sincere compliments. Tell your spouse how blessed you feel to have them and acknowledge their good qualities. 6. Never compare your spouse to others. Comparisons with other husbands or wives create resentment and hurt. Appreciate your spouse’s individual qualities instead of measuring your marriage against someone else’s. 7. Pamper and cherish each other. Both spouses need affection and attention. Compliment one another’s appearance, fragrance and efforts, and make each other feel valued. 8. Share household responsibilities. Participate in household chores and help one another. Working together demonstrates consideration and prevents one spouse from feeling overwhelmed. 9. Practise kindness and speak gently. A kind word, a smile and thoughtful behaviour can strengthen love. Ibn Abbaas (radiyallahu anhuma) would groom himself before meeting his wife, demonstrating his understanding of the mutual rights of spouses. 10. Spend quality time with your children. Sit together as a family, speak to the children and listen to them instead of allowing television and mobile phones to dominate family life. A peaceful and connected home benefits the entire family. 11. Show support and care. Stand by your spouse during illness, hardship and emotional difficulty. Being present when your spouse needs you demonstrates genuine love and commitment. 12. Break the monotony of routine. When married life becomes dull, introduce thoughtful surprises, affectionate notes or special outings. Small changes can renew appreciation and excitement without creating unnecessary arguments or conflict. 13. Be honest and communicate wisely. Discuss your feelings and problems honestly, while avoiding arguments in front of the children. If difficulties arise, first try to resolve them calmly between yourselves. If necessary, seek the assistance of a trustworthy mediator before involving others. Sayyidah Aa’ishah (radiyallahu ‘anha) reported that Rasulullah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam told her that he could recognise when she was pleased or upset with him. When upset, she would say, “No, by the Lord of Ibraahim,” rather than mentioning the name of Rasulullah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. This narration illustrates the closeness and understanding between them. 14. Address each other affectionately. Use names and expressions of endearment that your spouse appreciates. Rasulullah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam affectionately addressed ‘Aa’ishah (radiyallahu ‘anha), demonstrating the value of tenderness in marriage. 15. Keep the bedroom a place of peace and affection. Avoid turning bedtime into an occasion for complaints, financial discussions or arguments. Address problems at an appropriate time and preserve opportunities for rest, affection and intimacy. 16. Express gratitude. Thank your spouse for their efforts and sacrifices. For example, acknowledge how hard they work and make Du‘aa for them by saying, “Baarakallahu feek” (May Allah bless you). Gratitude helps spouses feel recognised and appreciated. 17. Apologise when you are wrong. Acknowledge your mistakes sincerely and apologise without making excuses. Saying, “I am sorry; I did not mean to hurt you,” can help repair emotional wounds and restore trust. 18. Maintain mutual respect. Love cannot flourish where respect is absent. Avoid belittling, insulting or humiliating your spouse, particularly during disagreements. Respect must remain even when you differ. 19. Avoid stubbornness, pride and arrogance. Do not allow the desire to win an argument to become more important than preserving your marriage. Be humble, considerate and willing to reconcile. Both spouses should make sincere efforts to restore peace rather than allowing resentment to continue. 20. Recognise and fulfil each other’s rights through love and compassion. The rights of spouses are serious, and both must strive to fulfil their obligations. Conclusion A successful marriage requires consistent effort from both spouses. Patience, gifts, communication, kindness, gratitude, respect and a willingness to apologise all contribute to a home filled with love and tranquillity. If you can put these twenty things that increase love into practice, then you will find your marital life to be fruitful, joyful and full of love, Insha’Allah. idealmuslimah

A young boy used to visit ʿĀ’ishah (raḍiyallāhu ʿanhā) often to ask her questions, and she would teach him and narrate to him. One day he came asking to learn something new, and she said, ‘My son, have you acted upon what you’ve already learned from me?’ He replied, ‘No, by Allah, not yet.’ She said, ‘My son, why then do you wish to increase the proofs of Allah against us and you?’” As parents and teachers, we are always eager to teach our children as much knowledge about their din as possible. In a world that focuses on the external metrics over the internal, it’s easy to get caught up in how many sūrahs have been memorised, how many textbooks have been completed, or how high the scores are. Wanting to teach our children more is a beautiful intention. But it’s important to remember that knowledge isn’t meant to be simply learnt. The greater purpose of knowledge is that it is practised: that it transforms us into better servants of Allah. So, the next time you begin teaching your child a new topic, surah or text, ask yourself a quick question: ‘How can I help them practise this? How can I help them transform through this?’ And the next time you learn something yourself, ask yourself the same questions too. LifewithAllah

In a time when many parents are deeply concerned about their children’s happiness, confidence and emotional well-being, an important responsibility of parenting is increasingly being overlooked: the responsibility of correcting them. While love, affection and encouragement are essential in raising a child, so too is teaching him right from wrong, setting boundaries and correcting him when he goes beyond them. A child does not naturally know what is acceptable and what is not. He needs guidance, and that guidance sometimes requires a parent to say, “This is wrong,” and to firmly correct him. Correction is not a sign that a parent does not love his child. In fact, proper correction is an expression of a parent’s love and concern. When a parent sees his child developing a bad habit, behaving disrespectfully or neglecting an important responsibility, remaining silent does not help the child. Allowing every mistake to pass without addressing it may keep the child happy for the moment, but it does little to prepare him for life. A child needs parents who will lovingly guide him, teach him boundaries and help him understand that actions have consequences. One of the greatest mistakes that can be made in the upbringing of children is to confuse love with a permissive approach. A parent may feel that correcting the child will upset him, cause him to become distant or make him feel bad about himself. As a result, certain behaviours are repeatedly overlooked. Disrespect is tolerated, disobedience is excused, responsibilities are neglected, and mistakes are brushed aside. With time, however, what was initially a small behaviour can become a deeply rooted habit. Children need to learn from a young age that there are certain things that are simply not acceptable. A child who speaks disrespectfully to his parents needs to be corrected. A child who lies needs to be taught the seriousness of dishonesty. A child who refuses to fulfil his responsibilities needs to be reminded and, where necessary, disciplined. A child who is careless regarding salaah needs to be guided and encouraged towards punctuality and commitment. These lessons cannot always be taught through gentle suggestions alone. There are times when a firm reprimand is necessary. The Quraan and Ahaadeeth place great emphasis on the responsibility of parents to nurture and guide their children. Allah Ta‘ala says, “O you who believe, save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Surah Tahreem V:6) This responsibility cannot be fulfilled merely by providing children with food, clothing, education and material comfort. It includes protecting them from harmful behaviour, teaching them their obligations and correcting them when they go wrong. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) also emphasised the importance of teaching children salaah from a young age. He said, “Command your children to perform salaah when they are seven years old, and discipline them regarding it when they are ten.” (Sunan Abi Dawood) This demonstrates that Tarbiyah involves more than simply explaining what is right. There comes a time when parents must insist upon obedience and take appropriate measures when a child deliberately neglects what he has been taught. Correction, however, should not be confused with anger, humiliation or constantly finding fault. The purpose of correction is not to make a child feel worthless, nor is it to vent one’s frustration. A child should be corrected because his behaviour needs to change. The parent should therefore focus on correcting the action rather than attacking the child himself. A child who is corrected with wisdom learns that mistakes have consequences, that boundaries exist and that he is accountable for his actions. He also learns an important quality that will benefit him throughout his life: the ability to accept correction. If a child grows up being protected from every form of criticism and correction, he may struggle later in life when a teacher, employer, spouse or another person points out his shortcomings. At the same time, correction should not become the only interaction a child has with his parents. Just as a parent should be prepared to correct a child when he does wrong, he should also acknowledge his good to encourage him and uplift him if his spirits are low. This quality of lifting a person’s spirits was found in the blessed life of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) as well. On one occasion, a Sahaabi by the name of Zaahir (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) was in the marketplace when Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) approached him from behind and embraced him. Sayyiduna Zaahir (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), not knowing who it was, exclaimed, “Let me go! Who is this?” However, when he realised that it was Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), he did not want the embrace to end. He pressed his back against the blessed chest of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), wanting to remain in his embrace. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) light-heartedly said, “Who will buy this slave?” Sayyiduna Zaahir (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) replied with humility, “O Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! By Allah, you will find me to be of little worth!” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then responded with a statement that captured the essence of his ability to lift hearts. He said, “But in the sight of Allah, you are not worthless.” (Musnad Ahmad) Our children are an Amaanah from Allah Ta‘ala, and raising them requires more than providing for their physical needs. They need parents who will patiently teach them, lovingly guide them and courageously correct them when necessary. A child who is lovingly corrected today may be protected from a far greater mistake tomorrow. The correction that feels difficult in the moment may become the guidance that shapes his character for years to come. UswatulMuslimah

A person may spend years in sin and disobedience, yet Allah Ta‘ala can change his condition in a single moment. One should therefore never lose hope in the guidance or repentance of anyone, regardless of how distant from Din that person may appear. On the 4th of Rabi’ul Awwal 1447 (27/08/25), after Salatul ‘Asr, Al-‘Allamatul Muhaddith Shaykh Muhammad ‘Awwamah (hafizahullah) related an incident from his hometown of Aleppo illustrating this reality. Forgive me! I Am Going for Hajj Shaykh (hafizahullah) said: “In Aleppo, when the city first began expanding and new neighbourhoods were being established, there was a neighbourhood called Al-Jamiliyyah. On one side of it was a large new Masjid bearing a very noble name: Jami’ Abi Bakr Siddiq (radiyallahu ‘anhu). Opposite it was a place of drinking and gambling. Its entire frontage was made of glass, and it was known as Maqhal Ballur (The Glass Café). The wealthy people of Aleppo at that time would gather there for drinking and gambling. This was at a time when poverty was widespread throughout Aleppo. Among them was a man known as Abu ‘Abduh Al-Miskinah. In those days of poverty, he owned a car dealership [such was his wealth]. He and his friends would gather every evening around a table for drinking and gambling. One day, a waiter at the café, who would wait for Abu ‘Abduh to give him a few coins as a tip, came to him and said: ‘Uncle Abu ‘Abduh, forgive me!’ Abu ‘Abduh thought to himself, who are you? What is there between us that I should forgive you for? Abu ‘Abduh asked him: “Is everything alright? Why are you asking me to forgive you?” The waiter simply replied: ‘I am going for Hajj.’ Shaykh added: ‘It was customary for a person leaving for Hajj to seek forgiveness from people before departing.‘ Shaykh continued: ‘That’s all he said. Just these words: ‘I am going for Hajj.’ [It had such an impact on him that] at that moment, Abu ‘Abduh underwent a complete transformation. He immediately left the table, dismissed the people around him and went home. Throughout the night he wept, turned to Allah Ta‘ala and repented. He cried: “O my Rabb! You have given me all this wealth, yet I use it in disobedience to You, while this man, who waits for the few coins I give him, is going for Hajj!” He continued crying throughout the night and made sincere Tawbah to Allah Ta‘ala. His life thereafter changed completely. Being the owner of a car dealership, he had many contacts and knew influential people. He now dedicated himself, his time, his wealth, his influence and his vehicle to assisting people whose affairs had become complicated in government departments. He would help them resolve their difficulties. All of this through just a single statement: “I am going for Hajj.” Shaykh (hafizahullah) then advised: “So never despair of Allah granting a person Tawbah. Never despair.” In an Instant, a Person’s Condition Can Change Shaykh (hafizahullah) then mentioned: “We have a saying among the people of Aleppo or Syrians in general: “In an instant, a person’s condition can be transformed for the better.” [Shaykh ‘Awwamah (hafizahullah), on another occasion added: “This is the kind of guidance we await from Allah, guidance with gentleness. Rather than guidance that comes after punishment or any sort of suffering. Listen to my lecture on this topic here.].” Allah is At-Tawwab! Allah is At-Tawwab! Shaykh (hafizahullah) then concluded with a brief academic point. A person’s return to Allah Ta‘ala is itself a manifestation of the effects of Allah’s beautiful Names in His creation. Shaykh (hafizahullah) said: “The effects of the beautiful Names of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta‘ala are constantly manifest throughout the universe, at every moment, and even in less than a moment. Allah Ta‘ala says: ‘Every moment He is bringing about a matter.‘ (Surah Ar-Rahman, 55:29) Among the beautiful Names of Allah Ta‘ala isAt Tawwab (The One who repeatedly accepts repentance). The effects of Allah accepting the repentance of His servants are evident at every moment. If one were able to observe and survey this, one would find it occurring constantly, at every moment. [Likewise, the effects of Allah Ta‘ala’s other Names are continually manifest:] He guides, He allows to stray, He gives life, and so on. And Among His Names is At-Tawwab, Subhanahu wa Ta‘ala, and among them are Al-Latif, Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim. We ask Allah Ta‘ala to deal with us through His kindness and mercy.” Source: Al-Miftah

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these basic principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated Amidst busy schedules and tasks on the parts of both women and men, Muslim husbands and wives tend to forget the real reasons behind marriage and likewise the rights of each other. Subsequently, they deprive themselves, their mates and their children of the happiness and tranquillity that is the bedrock of a successful family. This unbalanced vision towards a couple’s ideal relationship is bad enough to plunge the family into a situation laden with troubles and worries. Negative Relationship between Husband & Wife Some Muslim spouses relate to each other like adversaries rather than life time partners. The husband assumes the position of dictator, and whatever he says is not law. The wife on the other hand feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives do not express their gratitude to their husbands irrespective of how much the man may do for her. Instead, they adopt an attitude of ‘never enough’ and make the husband feel like a failure if he does not provide every want and desire their extravagant lifestyles dictate. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in family matters. Moreover, certain husbands become so cold and miserly that even the basic expenditure for the house is difficult to come by. Nikah – A divine institution The Nikah bond has been divinely established for the welfare and upkeep of a healthy and progressive community. This divine prescription has been unjustly utilised as a vehicle to perpetrate oppression, deception, humiliation, and abuse. Allah Ta’ala describes marriage very differently in the Noble Quran: ‘And from his signs are, He created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may live in tranquillity with them, and instilled love and mercy between your (hearts) . . .” (30:21) Head of the Home The position Islam has accorded to the man as the head of the home is a responsibility which will be accounted for, rather than a privilege which should be abused. We are taught to treat our wives well. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has reported to have said: ‘The person possessing the most perfect faith is one who has excellent behaviour, and the best among you are those who are best towards their wives.”(Mishkat) Be Partners in Decision Making Follow the principle of ‘Shura,” (consultation) and make decisions as a family. Implementing this Sunnah within the home increases harmony and love between family members. It will also assist in enhancing trust and loyalty between spouses and the children. Abuse Abstain totally from every form of emotional, mental, or physical abuse to your spouse. Watch Your Words Be very careful what you say when you are upset. The wounds afflicted to the heart of a person by words will never heal and remain a lifelong memory. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. Apply the directives found in the Hadith for suppression of anger. Work Together in the House Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) at times assisted his wives occasionally with household chores. When Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) did not consider the housework trivial, how can we today obligate our wives to all the housework totally and much more? The primary role of the female/wife is wife, mother, homemaker and the primary role of the husband is protector and provider. Communication is Important Talk to each other, communicate, have a dialogue, but do it respectfully. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until they explode. Live Simply Do not envy or cast your gaze towards those spouses who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. Be pleased with what you have. The grass will always look greener on the other side. The wealthiest person is the one who has attained contentment of heart. To develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Repeatedly thank Allah Ta’ala for the many blessings in your life. Admit Your Mistakes When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never sleep angry with each other. Past Problems Everything that has happened is history. Repent for the past and live for the future. Do not focus discussion on the past unless it is something that will make both of you laugh. The Duaa for a blissful marriage: rabbana hab lana min azwaajinaa wa zurriyyatina qurrata a-ayuniw waj-alna lil muttaqeena imaama (O Allah! grant us such wives and offspring who will be a source of coolness for our eyes, and make us leaders of the Allah-Fearing) islaaminfo Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

We eat and drink several times a day. By implementing the sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and grant him peace) we can gain maximum reward for these mundane activities. 10 Sunnahs of Eating 1. To wash both the hands before and after meals. (Sunan Abi Dawud) 2. To sit on the floor. (Sahih Bukhari) 3. To sit in one of the following three postures: In the Tashahud position (like in Salah). (Fathul Bari) Same as above with the right knee raised. (Ibid; Takhrijul Ihyaa) In the squatting posture. (Sahih Muslim) 4. To eat with the fingers (thumb, index and middle fingers). (Sahih Muslim) 5. To take the name of Allah before eating. (Sahih Bukhari) 6. To eat with the right hand. (Sahih Bukhari) 7. To eat from the closest part of the plate and not from the middle. (Sahih Bukhari) 8. As far as possible, to eat collectively from one plate. (Sunan Ibn Majah) 9. To clean every bit of food left on the plate and to lick the fingers before washing them. (Sahih Muslim) 10. To recite the various Masnun du’as after meals. One of them is, ‘Alhamdulillahil ladhiy at’amana wa saqana wa ja’alana muslimin’. (Sunan Abi Dawud) 10 Sunnahs of Drinking 1. To sit and drink. (Sahih Bukhari) 2. To drink with the right hand. (Sahih Bukhari) 3. To take 3 sips (or more in odd numbers). (Sahih Bukhari) 4. To say Bismillah before drinking. (Sahih Bukhari) 5. To say Alhamdulillah after drinking. (Sunan Tirmidhi) 6. If there are several people who are going to share the drink, it should be given to the one on the right. (Sahih Bukhari) 7. The one who is distributing the water (or food) should himself drink after everyone. (Sunan Tirmidhi) 8. To recite the following Dua after drinking, ‘Alhamdulillahil ladhiy at’ama wa saqa, wa sawwaghahu wa ja’ala lahu makhraja.’ (Sunan Abi Dawud) This dua could also be recited after eating. 9. One may also recite: Alhamdulillahil ladhy saqani adhban furatan bi rahmatihi walam yaj’alhu milhan ujajan bi dhunubi.(Tabarani) 10. After drinking milk to recite ‘Allahumma barik lana fihi wa zidna minhu’. (Sunan Abi Dawud) Food and drink are a blessing from Allah. By implementing the Sunnah and avoiding wastage, we would be physically expressing Shukr (gratitude) to Allah. Source: Al-Miftah

The Son I Tried to Take Away (Part Two) True Story (Names and details changed) At first, Qatar felt wonderful. Then reality began to settle in. Irfan left for work in the morning and returned in the evening. If I needed groceries, I had to arrange a taxi and take Uthman with me. If Uthman needed a doctor, I often had to manage it alone. One day I told Irfan that Uthman needed to be seen. "Take him," he said. "I'll come as soon as I can." So, I took him. The doctor ordered tests. Then more tests. Weeks passed. Then more weeks. For nearly a month, we lived in anxiety. Finally, the doctor explained that Uthman needed an operation. There was a problem with the passage through which he passed stool, and it needed to be enlarged so that he could pass properly. I broke down. I cried uncontrollably. The doctor reassured me that it was a relatively small procedure, but all I could see was my baby lying on an operating table in a foreign country. I called Irfan immediately. He didn't answer. I called again. Still nothing. When he eventually came home, he found me crying. "What happened?" I could barely speak. I told him what the doctor had said. He immediately became worried. He made wudu. He prayed salah. Then he raised his hands and made dua for our son. Afterwards, he messaged his parents and asked them to make dua for Uthman. And then he said something that shook my entire world. He looked at me and quietly asked, "Amina, do you think Allah could be testing you with your son?” I looked at him. He continued, "Do you remember how you felt about my parents? How you tried to keep me from them? How you stopped me from taking care of them? How you didn't want them seeing their grandson?" I began crying. Then he said words I will never forget: "Do you think Allah is showing you what it feels like when someone is separated from the child they love?" My heart broke. For the first time, I saw everything clearly. I remembered my mother-in-law's tears. I remembered my father-in-law's silence. I remembered the welcome they had prepared for me. I remembered my mother-in-law making excuses for me when I disappeared upstairs. I remembered how happy they had been to become grandparents. I remembered how I had secretly celebrated their pain. And suddenly I understood. I had not simply wanted a separate home. I had tried to take a son away from his parents. I had tried to make his parents less important to him. And then I had almost succeeded. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. That night, I made tawbah. I asked Allah to forgive me. Then I sent a message to my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I asked them to forgive me too. I didn't make excuses. I didn't say, "I was young." I didn't say, "I was overwhelmed." I didn't say, "I only wanted privacy." I simply told them that I had wronged them. Then came the day of Uthman's operation. Irfan and I sat outside the theatre in a foreign country, frightened and helpless. I remember looking at the doors. I remember thinking about my son. And I remember making a promise to Allah: "Ya Allah, if You give my son shifa, I will go back to the UK with my husband. I will return their son to them. I will not stand between them and their grandson again." The operation was successful. Alhamdulillah. But our journey wasn't over. Uthman required extensive aftercare. He had a bag attached to his stomach to collect his waste, and we had to learn how to care for him properly and change it. For six months, our lives revolved around his recovery. And during those six months, I changed. Not because I suddenly stopped loving my husband. Not because I stopped wanting my own home. But because I finally understood that wanting boundaries is one thing. Trying to destroy a bond between parents and their child is another. When the doctors finally told us that Uthman was well enough to travel, we returned to the UK. And I kept the promise I had made to Allah. I went back to my in-laws' home. But this time, I didn't walk through their door with resentment. I walked through it with gratitude. I hugged my mother-in-law. I hugged my father-in-law. And when I saw them holding Uthman, I realised something that had taken me years to understand I had spent years thinking that my in-laws were standing between me and my husband. They weren't. I was standing between my husband and the people who had raised him. And when I tried to take their son away from them, I didn't make my marriage stronger. I only created pain. Advice to Every Daughter-in-Law To every woman who is about to marry, or who has recently married, I want to say this: It is completely understandable to want privacy. It is understandable to want your own space. It is understandable if living with in-laws is difficult for you. You are allowed to have feelings. You are allowed to struggle. And sometimes a separate home is genuinely the healthiest arrangement for everyone. But there is a difference between asking your husband for a home of your own and trying to separate him from his parents. Your husband can love you deeply and still love his mother. He can bring you flowers and still buy groceries for his parents. He can take you on holidays and still sit beside his father in the masjid. He can bring breakfast in bed for you and still love and do things for his mother. He can buy your snacks and still prepare his mother's morning drink. His love for them does not mean there is less love available for you. Don't turn your husband's love for his parents into a competition. You do not have to become their daughter overnight. You do not have to pretend that every aspect of living with extended family is easy. But don't make it your mission to make your husband choose. And please, never use children as weapons. I repeat don't make their grandchildren tools you use against them. Allah tala can test you with those precious children if He wants. Grandparents have a special place in a child's life. If they are loving, safe and respectful, don't deliberately prevent them from seeing their grandchildren simply because you dislike the extended-family arrangement. A grandmother holding her grandson isn't taking anything away from you. A grandfather teaching his grandson isn't replacing you. And a son serving his parents doesn't make him a worse husband. Instead, communicate. Set healthy boundaries. If you need a separate home, ask respectfully. If something your in-laws do genuinely hurts you, speak to your husband calmly. If there is a serious problem, seek wise mediation rather than creating secret battles inside the marriage. And husbands have responsibilities too. Don't dismiss your wife's genuine struggles. Don't expect her to silently endure everything. Protect your marriage while honouring your parents. Give your wife reassurance without asking her to compete with the people who raised you. There can be room for everyone. Most importantly, remember that parents do not remain with us forever. One day the house that once felt crowded may become painfully quiet. The mother-in-law whose calls irritated you may no longer be there to call. The father your husband used to accompany to the masjid may no longer be waiting for him. And the grandparents whose visits once felt inconvenient may become memories your children wish they had more of. I learned this lesson much later than I should have. I thought I was fighting for my husband. In reality, I was fighting against his parents. And I thank Allah that, through the most frightening chapter of my life, He opened my eyes before it was too late. May Allah forgive us for the times we allow jealousy, insecurity or resentment to make us unjust. May Allah place love between husbands and wives, mercy between parents and children, and wisdom between in-laws. And may Allah teach us the difference between setting a healthy boundary and breaking a family bond. Because sometimes the person we are trying to push out of our marriage isn't our rival at all. Sometimes they are the people who gave us the person we love. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

The Son I Tried to Take Away (Part One) True Story (Names and details changed) I was nineteen when Irfan proposed to me. We had known each other since high school. Ours was a love marriage in every sense of the word. We had grown up together, fallen in love when we were young, and by the time he asked me to marry him, I could think of no reason to say no. I thought I knew what marriage would be like. I thought it would be Irfan and me, our own little world, our own home, our own happiness. I was wrong. After our marriage, I discovered that I was not just marrying Irfan. I was becoming part of a family. His parents lived with us, and he had sisters who lived in Australia and visited once or twice a year. Even their short visits irritated me. I had never imagined myself living in an extended family, and I resented almost everything about it. No one came in my way or said anything, but I felt irritated at the fact that Irfan and I were not alone. The irony was that my in-laws were good people. My mother-in-law never interfered in our marriage. My father-in-law never dictated how we should live. They did not shout at me, humiliate me, or demand anything from me. The problem wasn't that they were bad. The problem was that I did not want them there. Full stop. And the biggest problem of all was that Irfan was not only a good husband. He was a good son. Every morning, before he even thought about himself, he would prepare honey water for his parents. When they woke up, he would place their shoes outside their bedroom doors. He would go jogging with his father, then come home, get ready for work and do his parents' laundry. He hugged his mother frequently. She loved him to bits, and I hated that. He checked whether his father needed anything. If his mother called him to get something or take her somewhere he would do so. If his father asked him to accompany him somewhere, he would go. And I hated it. Not because Irfan neglected me. He didn't. He was, in many ways, an exceptionally loving husband. He knew my favourite foods and would bring them home for me. He would surprise me with snacks from the shops... Lotus Biscoff, Walkers crisps, M&S croissants, chocolate, and whatever new treat he knew I loved since school days. He took me out to restaurants. He brought me breakfast in bed. He planned little surprises. Every few months, whenever he had five days off together, he would take me somewhere. Turkey. Italy. France. Jordan. Morocco. Spain. He wanted me to see the world. He wanted me to be happy. But I wasn't. Because every time I saw him doing something for his parents, I felt as though something was being taken away from me. I didn't understand then that love isn't a pie that becomes smaller every time someone else receives a slice. I thought if his mother got more of her son, I must be getting less of my husband. So, I began interfering… If his mother called him and wanted him to take her somewhere, I would suddenly say, "I need to go to the pharmacy." Or, "I have to go to my mum's, hurry up." And Irfan, being the gentle husband he was, would tell his mother, "I'll take you tomorrow." I made sure tomorrow never came. In the mornings, I started saying, "Let's exercise together." He would say, "I'll go jogging first and then we can do something together." But I would argue. Eventually, after enough arguments and enough emotional pressure, Irfan stopped jogging with his father. Then he stopped doing things for his parents. The son who had spent years serving his parents quietly began withdrawing from them. And instead of feeling ashamed, I felt victorious. Then we had our first child… Three years into our marriage, I went to my mother's house for the delivery. When it was time for me to return, my in-laws were overjoyed. They had decorated the house. They had prepared everything. They had arranged a huge welcome gathering. They were excited to welcome me and their grandson home. I remember walking into that house and feeling the smallest tinge of guilt. But it wasn't enough to change me. I quickly ate with everyone, then excused myself. "I need to rest." I went upstairs. I never came back down. From upstairs, I could hear my mother-in-law speaking gently to the others. "You know how it is with a baby. She must be exhausted. She probably fell asleep while feeding him." There was no anger in her voice. No complaint. No accusation. Just kindness. And somehow, that made what I was doing even worse. Not long after, I told Irfan, "Now that we have a child, we can't continue living like this. You need to make arrangements for your parents to move." I had never seen him so angry. "You want my parents to leave?" His voice shook. "They have done nothing to you." We argued. Then he said something I would never forget: "This is Mum and Dad's house. If you don't want to live with them, then you move. I'll find us somewhere else." And he did. Within two weeks, he had found a flat close to his workplace in London, where he worked as a solicitor at the fictional law firm Harrington & Cole LLP. When he finally told his parents, their hearts broke. They cried. I knew why. Irfan was their only son. For years, he had been their companion, their helper, the person they relied upon. And I had slowly convinced him to move away. I remember seeing their sadness. And I remember the shameful feeling I had inside. I gloated. I felt like I had won. When we moved into our new home, I experienced something I had wanted for years: Freedom. It was just me, Irfan and our little boy, Uthman. No one else. No one moving around the house, while I was having breakfast. No parents in the next room. No sisters visiting. No family obligations. Just my husband and my son. I was happy. At least I thought I was... Reality, however, quickly caught up with me. Some days I struggled to cook. Some days the laundry piled up. Some nights Uthman cried for hours, and I had no idea what was wrong. I was exhausted. But even in my exhaustion, I told myself, "At least I have my own home." Irfan now visited his parents regularly and freely without being controlled. After Asr, he would often go to their house. He went to the masjid with his father. He took his mother shopping. If she needed to go somewhere, he took her. He was becoming the same dutiful son he had always been. And I was furious. I had removed him from the house. But I couldn't remove his love for his parents. Every time he came home from visiting them, I would find something to fight about. My in-laws also visited us once a week to see Uthman. My mother-in-law was a naturally cheerful woman. She smiled constantly. She joked with everyone. She had a way of making people laugh without trying. She never shouted. She never raised her voice. She never criticised my cooking or my parenting. But one afternoon, during a visit, she looked at Uthman carefully. Then she said gently, "Amina, I think you should have Uthman checked by a doctor. I've noticed he seems uncomfortable when he passes stool. He strains a lot and doesn't seem to be passing properly. Perhaps it's nothing, but I think it would be better to have him examined." that was all. She wasn't interfering. She wasn't diagnosing him. She was simply a grandmother who had noticed her grandson struggling. But I heard it differently. I heard criticism. I heard interference. And I immediately became defensive. Irfan noticed. For the first time in my life, I heard him raise his voice at his mother. "Please don't interfere in our lives." His mother went quiet. I should have stopped there. I should have realised what was happening. Instead, I began looking for another way to put distance between them. I started telling Irfan that we should move abroad. "Why don't you look for something in Dubai? My uncle and his family are settled there. They can help." Then one of his colleagues mentioned Qatar. "Imagine it," I told him. "Just us. A fresh start. A better life. "Eventually, he found a position with a fictional international law firm in Doha. He applied. Three months later, the acceptance letter arrived. I remember the day it came. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I thought I had finally won. Uthman was about nine months old when we moved to Qatar. The company provided us with a furnished apartment and a car. My in-laws were devastated. Their only son was moving to another country. They tried to be happy for us, but I could see the sadness in their faces… To be continued… Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

Question and Answer: Q. I have been told that a woman does not need to undo her braids when performing Ghusl. Is this correct? Does the same ruling apply to a bun or ponytail? A. Shariah grants a concession to women regarding washing their hair during Ghusl. The ruling can be understood through the following two scenarios: 1. Braided or Plaited Hair A woman is not required to undo her braids for Ghusl. It is sufficient that water reaches the roots of the hair and the scalp; it is not necessary for water to reach every strand of hair within the braids. 2. Hair Tied in a Bun, Ponytail, etc. If the hair is not braided or plaited, water must reach the roots as well as every strand of hair. Therefore, the hair should be loosened if necessary to ensure that all of the hair is washed. [Hindiyyah 1/13] And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Mufti Muhammed Hamza Farooqui Mufti Taahir Hansa (The answer hereby given is specifically based on the question asked and should be read together with the question asked. Islamic rulings on this Q&A newsletter are answered in accordance to the Hanafi Fiqh unless otherwise stated.) Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

The Sufra For over a thousand years, the Muslim world's dining table could be folded, carried and made to vanish. It was a piece of cloth and woven into, it was an entire philosophy. Sayyiduna Anas Ibn Maalik radiyallahu anhu said the Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never once ate from a khiwān, (a raised table). When Sayyiduna Qatadah radiyallahu anhu was asked what they ate upon instead, the answer was the Sufra. (Sahih Al Bukhari 5386) The dining table was named after a journey. Sufra from safar (travel). First a traveller's provisions, then the cloth that carried them. Every meal at home arrived on an object whose name whispered: "you are still traveling”. Imām Ibn Hajar notes that raised tables were the habit of the arrogant, built so the diner would never have to bend toward his food. The sufra on the other hand reversed the posture. To eat, you had to come down. Humility was not preached at the meal. It was built into it. A cloth has no head of the table, if we look at a rectangular table it has a seat of honour, however, a spread cloth has none. Everyone sits at one level around shared dishes, facing each other. "The food of two suffices three".(Sahih Al Bukhari 5392) Scarcity was answered with geometry What floor sitting does to your appetite. Sitting cross-legged flexes the torso and gently compresses the abdomen so fullness registers earlier. Leaning forward for each morsel slows every bite. The sufra quietly enforced the Sunnah of eating less, one posture at a time. It's the only table that grows with guests… Furniture fixes your generosity in advance. A table for six ends at six. A sufra unrolls further, joins another cloth, spills into the next room. Hosts were limited by their hearts, never by carpentry. ‘Gather over your food, for in gathering there is barakah.’ (Sunan Abi Dawud 3764) The house with no dining room. Traditional rooms had no fixed function. One space held prayer at dawn, guests at noon, food at dusk, sleep at night. Because the furniture vanished, the room stayed free. The house served the moment, not the objects. The meal ended in reverse. Fingers cleaned, fallen morsels picked up, crumbs gathered inside the cloth, the sufra folded the floor bare. Consumption was allowed to visit, it was never allowed to move in. Our ancestors did not own a dining table; they owned a reminder that tonight to walk through our home and ask one question. Which objects serve our life, and which has our life quietly been built around. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

Every marriage – no matter how stressful, boring, or happy it may be – can use certain tips to give it a boost. This post reviews two pieces of advice that you could implement today for a better married life. If you’re not married, you too can benefit from the concepts as they are applicable across the board. The first reminder has to do with becoming cognizant once again about our rights toward our spouses as obligated on us by Allah and His prophet (peace be upon him.) What we married couples often forget is that our “Muslim marriage”, just like the rest of our life’s aspects, is governed by the laws of Islam. These divine laws were communicated, commanded, and taught to us by the prophet (peace be upon him) through the Quran and the traditions of Hadith. So, the first reminder is nothing more than to become ever conscious that the moment you entered your marriage, you became obligated to respect your spouse’s rights as defined under those divine laws. Claiming ignorance about those rights or your lack of resolve in upholding those rights therefore is not a valid excuse. The problem in this regard is usually two-fold. First, many couples simply aren’t even aware and knowledgeable about the rights that both husbands and wives have over each other. It’s not uncommon for many to rush into marriages with all the fanfare but neglecting to learn Islamic teachings regarding marriage and the rights that husbands and wives have over each other. It’s only when they hit roadblocks in their marriages that they start seeking those answers. Problems surface because each spouse assumes certain rights over the other and each spouse’s personal interpretation of what’s right or wrong complicates relationships even further. The second problem is that while many of us may take the time to understand how their partner is not meeting their individual rights, they often neglect to learn their obligations toward the other spouse. Driven selfishly, each spouse gets preoccupied with how their partner isn’t contributing to the relationship rather than realizing how one is deficient in fulfilling their own obligations. In the daily routine of give and take therefore, if your relationship is hitting hurdles, both of you ought to invest the time and effort to learn about those rights and obligations. Use this reminder to make a permanent mental note to help you become conscious of how knowingly or unknowingly you transgress and violate your spouse’s rights. Remember, you will be questioned about them. Allah Ta’ala says about our obligations in general: “O you who believe! Fulfill (your) obligations” )Quran: al-Maa’idah 5:1) “And fulfill (every) covenant. Verily, the covenant will be questioned about” )Quran: al-Isra’ 17:34) “And whoever transgresses the limits ordained by Allah, then such are the Zalimoon (wrong-doers, etc.)” (Quran: Al-Baqarah; 2:229) Now to the second reminder – Every relationship is bound to have disagreements, day to day challenges pertaining to a family life, or your spouse just having a “bad day.” These shouldn’t be mistaken for a bad relationship. Where relationships go sour are in how couples respond to such situations. When response to such situations involves disrespect for the other individual, cracks start appearing in relationships. This “disrespect” includes but isn’t limited to putting down the other individual, disregard for the others opinions, raising one’s voice disrespectfully, etc. This then leads to a communications breakdown where disagreements turn into full fledged disputes, small mistakes by one are perceived as crimes by the other, and just an ordinary “bad” day turns worse by spouses ending up in major fights – sometimes climaxing to points of no return. We should recognize that Allah created us humans and has codified dignity and respect part of our being. Therefore, when we trample over someone leaving them feel disrespected, we are bound to invoke an equal or worse response from our spouses along with sowing in their hearts the seeds of animosity, hatred and mistrust. So, remember that of all the things that we may use at our disposal to relieve stress or resolve a situation, disrespecting the other shouldn’t be one of them. Both Allah and the prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized the respect and honor that we are entitled to as Muslims and humans. Allah says in the Quran: “And indeed We have honored the Children of Adam, and We have carried them on land and sea, and have provided them with At-Tayyibat (lawful good things), and have preferred them above many of those whom We have created with a marked preferment.” (Quran: Al-Isra, Chapter #17, Verse #70) During his last sermon, the prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Your BLOOD, your WEALTH and your HONOR are sacred among you, as sacred as this day of yours in this month of yours in this land of yours. Let those who are present convey it to those who are absent; perhaps he will convey it to one who has more understanding than he does.” (Bukhari). Abdullah bin Umro reported that he saw the prophet going around the Kaabah in Tawaf saying (to the Kaabah): “How pure are you and how pure is your fragrance. How great is your majesty and your sanctity. By the One in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad (SAWS), the sanctity of a believer in front of Allah is more than your sanctity – His possessions and his life and we always think good of him.” (Ibn Majah) So, remember that a happy marriage is one in which couples find ways to tackle and resolve challenges without being disrespectful to the other. You can have your tough talks as long as you don’t cross the lines in disrespecting each other. Remember that Islam’s teachings never sanctioned to denigrate human dignity even in times of war then how can we in supposed bonds of love step out of that realm? Conclusion To conclude, wives can strive to become what the prophet referred to in this hadith: The Prophet (pbuh) said: “The entire world is full of resources, and among them the best resource is a righteous wife.” (Sahih Muslim) And for men, the prophet had this to say – “The most complete believer is the best in character, and the best of you is the best to his womenfolk.” (Tirmidhi) Let’s learn our rights toward each other and let’s not be disrespectful to the other even when we are dealing with tough situation. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

*HADHRAT ML ABDUL HAMID SHB* *THE NEED OF THE HOUR IS:* 1.) Sincere Taubah and Istighfaar. The starting point is to realise and acknowledge that we are the cause of these problems. Our sins, and particularly the immodesty and immorality, draw Divine retribution. This is what we are seeing. We need to thus give up all sins. 2.) To have an earnest intention and make a genuine effort to correct our lives, our Salaah and all our Dienie matters, including Qadha Salaah, unpaid Zakaat, inheritance matters not settled, etc. And live our lives according to the noble Sunnah of Rasulullah Sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam. 3.) Abundance, Abundance!!! of Durood Sharief. 4.) Reciting the three Quls (Surah Al-Ikhlaas, Surah Al-Falaq and Surah An-Naas) with Bismillaah each time, after Fajr and Maghrib. A MUST, MUST!!! 5.) For the menfolk to make I'tikaaf in the Masaajid, by rotation, and to keep the Masaajid alive with A’maal-e-Masjid: Salaah, Tilawat of Qur’aan Sharief, Zikrullah, Dua, etc. - 24 hours. 6.) Ladies to also keep themselves busy with A’maal: fasting, Tilawat of Qur’aan Sharief, Zikrullah, Duas, etc. - preferably individually. 7.) Give Sadaqah frequently, even if it be in small amounts. 8.) At least once a day, recite the following: - Durood-e-Tunjeena, - 500 x Laa haula wa laa quwwata illaa billah, - Durood e Tunjeena - Make Dua (The 500 can be shared as well) 9.) Recite Surah Kahf daily; or at least the first and last ten Aayaat and on Jumu’ah, the entire Surah. When it is the protection against the Fitnah of Dajjaal, it will definitely be protection from these Fitan which we are dealing with. 10.) Make Salaam common and widespread, as we have been commanded. It brings peaceful conditions all around, as well as the Rahmah (Mercy) of Allah Ta’ala and the much needed Barakaat (blessings)!!! 11.) Khidmat and support to one another; helping to protect our Imaan, Islam, Masaajid, Madaaris, lives, and property in all forms. 12.) Making all the required efforts, placing one’s full trust solely in Allah Ta’ala, turn to Him in all sincerity and honesty. Only He can change conditions. But we have to change our lives and return to His Obedience. 13.) We should not panic. Understand that all conditions are only from Allah Ta’ala and Allah Ta’ala Alone is in control of everything even now. 14.) On such occasions, anger, hatred and cursing comes to the fore. A person can become filled with it. However, the ideal is to make Dua of Hidayat for the people at this moment. This will move the mercy of Allah Ta’ala. Remember the occasion of Taif when Nabi Sallallaahu alaihi wasallam made Dua for those who oppressed him. The Imaan of one person is so valuable! May Allah Ta’ala have mercy upon us and forgive us. May Allah Ta’ala protect and give Barakah in our Imaan, Islam, lives, businesses, property and all related, permissible matters and affairs! Aameen

Q. Apologies, I just have a quick question regarding the use of a spray bottle for Wudhu: 1. Is it permissible to perform Wudhu using a spray bottle, especially during Hajj or Umrah? 2. If so, what is the correct method or ruling for performing Wudhu with a spray bottle? A. Using a spray bottle for Wudhu is permissible with the proviso that water reaches all parts of the required limbs to be washed in Wudhu in a manner that at least two drops of water drip from the limbs. This can be achieved by spraying the limb directly and then rubbing the water over the limb or by spraying water into the hands and then rubbing the water over the limb. Take note of the following: 1. It is permissible to perform Wudhu with a spray or mist bottle in the following manner: a) Spray the face a few times so that water droplets begin to bead and trickle down. Use your hands to rub the moisture across the entire face as well as over the beard for men. b) Use the same procedure for the limbs - spray water across the length of the forearms and use your hands to rub the moisture over the entire surface from fingertips to elbows. c) Spray water onto your palms and make Masah (passing wet hands) over the head. d) Spray water onto the feet and use your hands to rub the moisture over the entire feet, including between the toes and the ankles. (It is a condition that when washing any limb, water must bead and trickle off that limb for the Wudhu to be valid. If sufficient water is not sprayed and water does not drip off the limb, the Wudhu will not be considered valid.) The Wudhu is now complete with these Fard (obligatory) actions. (Hindiyyah 1: 3) However, it should be noted that this method, comprising of just the Fard actions should be undertaken only when performing a full Sunnah Wudhu is inconvenient or difficult. Under normal circumstances, one should perform the full Sunnah Wudhu which includes washing the limbs thrice, using a miswak (tooth-stick), and rinsing the mouth and nostrils. And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Mufti Muhammed Hamza Farooqui Mufti Taahir Hansa (The answer hereby given is specifically based on the question asked and should be read together with the question asked. Islamic rulings on this Q&A newsletter are answered in accordance to the Hanafi Fiqh unless otherwise stated.) Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians