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Question Assalamoalaequm, In Islam is any sort of relationship allowed between the sexes before marriage? I was approached by an older cousin who loves me very much but marriage is impossible for the next few years due to my age and the circumstances. I did not think that a secret affair would be right so I have since turned him down. He claimed that to love is not a sin only under some rules and regulations given by Islam. Was I right in refusing him even though I liked him a lot? And is it haraam upon me to think about/remember him? Jazakallahkhair. Answer Bismillaah-ir-Rahmaan-ir-Raheem. Wa 'Alaykum-us-Salaam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh. 1) Islam does not permit any sort of relationship before marriage. Islam forbids fornication, and all actions that could lead to it eventually, and this begins by speaking and looking. This is the unique Islamic way of destroying evil from the root. 2) He claims to love you very much, but if you are not considering marriage, it would be best for you to let go of the idea. It is worth considering, that what the youth of today see as undying love, is many a time nothing more than infatuation and puppy love. True love is the mutual feeling that Allaah creates between man and woman through the Barakah of Nikaah. You are still young, and your outlook in life, and your likes and dislikes will vastly change over the next few years. At this stage, you cannot be sure that this is what you want for life. It would be best for you to forget about him, and ask him to forget about you. If you are written for each other, let it happen at the right time, and in the right manner. Do not force your destiny to unfold before its time. 3) Your refusal of pursuing a Haraam (illicit) relationship, was the right and Islamic thing to do, which most certainly earned you the pleasure of Allaah, inshaAllaah. 4) Thinking about a non-mahram (strange) man voluntarily, is a sin. However if these thoughts come involuntarily, banish them immediately, seek forgiveness and make the Zhikr of Allaah. If you entertain them you shall be sinful. And Allaah knows best. Wa Billaah-it-tawfiq. Wassalaam. A. Z. Pandor Taken from: Muftisays
Love & Unity By Shaykh-ul-Hadīth, Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh Importance of Unity The strength of any group or nation lies in unity. If they unite, they will be capable of facing challenges with ease. Our beloved Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has greatly emphasized unity and strove to unite the Ummah throughout his blessed life. Once during a journey, whilst Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam was in his tent, he heard the cries of two Sahābah radhiyallāhu ‘anhumā, one calling out to the Muhājirīn and the other to the Ansār; each one was looking for help against the other. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam fearing disunity amongst the Sahābah radhiyallāhu ‘anhum, immediately got up and quickly reached the place of argument and said, “What is this call of the period of ignorance? Leave it aside, because it is filthy.” (Al-Bukhārī) During the period of ignorance, the people were divided on the basis of tribes, and they would support each other only on that basis; who was right and who was wrong did not matter to them. After the advent of Islām they had all become brothers through the Grace of Allāh ta‘ālā. Allāh ta‘ālā says: Love Leads to Unity For unity to come into existence, love is necessary. Where there is love there will be unity and where there is hatred there will be disunity. This is why Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam encouraged all those things that create love and discouraged everything that leads to animosity and hatred. A few examples are: Six Steps to Creating Love In order to create love between ourselves, we need to do the following: 1) Follow the whole Dīn of Allāh ta‘ālā. Allāh ta‘ālā says in the Glorious Qur’ān: Loving others and not having hatred for them is part of ‘good deeds’ too. So when people carry out good deeds, they will entertain love for people and as a result people will love them too. 2) Adorn ourselves with good character and from them a very important one is humbleness. Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said: In order for a person to become elevated, others must have love and respect for him. Moreover, a person with humbleness will respect and love people and will surely be immune from hatred. 3) Help each other remaining within the boundaries of Dīn. Allāh ta‘ālā states: It is human nature that when someone confers a favour upon us, we experience a feeling of love and admiration for them in our hearts. 4) Become abstinent and do not desire what Allāh ta‘ālā has given to others. Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said: 5) Exchange gifts. Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said: 6) Spread salām. Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said: Unity is something we must strive for at all levels, from our personal lives in terms of family and friends; on a local community level such as within our masājid, workplace etc; and on a national and international level with brothers and sisters throughout the world. Let us try our best to carry out the above mentioned six points and Allāh ta‘ālā will enlighten our hearts with love for each other inshā’allāh. Once this happens, unity will automatically follow. May Allāh ta‘ālā safeguard us all from disunity and everything that leads to disunity and grant us all the ability to inculcate love for one another so that we can remain united. Āmīn. © Riyādul Jannah (Vol. 27 No. 2, February 2018)
When Desire Takes Over: Advice For College & University Students by Mawlana Abdus Subhan Dalvi 132 pages 3.09 MB Download here