Jump to content
IslamicTeachings.org

ummtaalib

Administrators
  • Content Count

    7,009
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    682

ummtaalib last won the day on May 25

ummtaalib had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

2,457 Forum Master

1 Follower

About ummtaalib

  • Rank
    SENIOR ADMINISTRATOR

Profile Information

  • Religion
    Muslim
  • Gender
    Female

Recent Profile Visitors

4,830 profile views
  1. Tribute to Shaikhul Hadith Moulana Haroon Abasoomar Rahimahullah 1952 - 2020 (Former Ameer of the Jamiatul Ulama KZN) Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Rajioon. The night of the 10 Shawwaal 1441 / 3 June 2020 marked the tragic demise of one of the great Ulama of South Africa, Shaikhul Hadith Moulana Haroon Abasoomar Rahimahullah. Hadhrat Moulana was a giant in Islamic knowledge especially in the field of Hadith. He was an example of unwavering steadfastness in the service of Deen. He served as Imaam of the Isipingo Beach Masjid for over forty years from the late 1970s until his demise. This remarkable achievement displays not only Moulana’s commitment to his community but also their value and love for him. Hadhrat Moulana was a true academic. As a student, he studied in the renowned Binnori Town Darul Uloom in Karachi, Pakistan under the tutelage of Allamah Sayyid Muhammad Yusuf Binnori Rahimahullah. His keen intellect and dedication to studying led to him become the first and only South African to achieve the first position in the national board examinations of Darul Ulooms in Pakistan. Qadhi Mujahidul Islam Rahimahullah, one of the renowned jurists of the Muslim world in the last few decades, whilst visiting South Africa, commented on Hadhrat Moulana’s brilliant intellect and knowledge during his interactions with him. When Moulana commenced teaching after his return from Pakistan then he was a fountain of knowledge quenching the thirst of thousands of students. Moulana would lecture for hours at a time and would list the various meanings of individual Hadith, at times quoting the deductions of more than ten Muhadditheen (Hadith Masters) regarding a single Hadith from memory alone. Hadhrat Moulana was at one time the Shaikhul Hadith (the most senior teacher of Hadith) of Madrasah Taleemuddeen in Isipingo Beach and Madrasah Inaamiyyah in Camperdown. He would commence teaching at Madrasah Taleemuddeen and thereafter travel to teach at Madrasah Inaamiyyah before returning home, a round trip of 130km, despite the difficulties of ill-health. In the latter years of Moulana’s life, he served as Shaikhul Hadith in Madrasah Hameediyyah in Durban as well. In spite of the senior position Hadhrat Moulana held as Shaikhul Hadith, teaching Saheeh Bukhari to the final year students of the Aalim course, the level of his humility was such that he would, at the same time, teach small children in the Isipingo Beach Maktab (elementary Madrasah). Hadhrat Moulana excelled and participated in all works of Deen. In the field of Tasawwuf, he was granted Khilaafat (spiritual successorship) by Hadhrat Hakeem Akhtar Saheb Rahimahullah. He gave strong support and encouragement to those involved in Dawah and Tabligh and would devote much time to the Majid Hilaal Markaz. Hazrat Moulana was very particular when it came to attending Janazah Salaah whether the person was known to him or not. He would try his level best to attend every Janazah. Hadhrat Moulana loved simplicity in every aspect of life from his home to his car and even in his dressing. At the same time, he was always impeccably well presented in his dressing and would always be seen dressed fully in white wearing a white kurta and topi. Despite his simplicity, Hadhrat Moulana had an awe-striking personality. Even words spoken softly would bear the power of royal authority. He would never shirk from declaring the truth and defending it. The Jamiatul Ulama KZN was fortunate to have had a very long-standing relationship with Hadhrat Moulana. He served the Jamiat in many capacities most notably as Secretary of the Jamiat and as the Ameer of the Jamiat from 2004-2007. Hadhrat Moulana enjoyed an immensely close relationship with Moulana Abdul Haq Omarjee Saheb Rahimahullah, one of the senior most Ulama of South Africa and founder member of the Jamiatul Ulama KZN. He took Moulana Omarjee Rahimahullah as his mentor after his return to South Africa. In his latter years, Hadhrat Moulana served on the Jamiat’s Executive Committee and would grace the important functions of the Jamiatul Ulama KZN. He inaugurated the official opening of the Jamiatul Ulama KZN Skills Development Centre in Overport, Durban on the 8th of November 2017. Hadhrat Moulana spoke highly of the centre and emphasised the importance of replicating such centres throughout the country. Many of the Ulama who currently serve the Jamiatul Ulama KZN are the students of Hazrat Moulana. Hadhrat Moulana was a trustee of various institutions, among them the first Darul Uloom in South Africa, Darul Uloom Newcastle in KwaZulu-Natal. He was held in great esteem by senior Ulama from across the globe and the many tributes and condolences messages being circulated are testimony to this. He had a very close relationship with many of the Imaams of the Haramain Shareefain. He was greatly honoured by them whenever he visited the blessed lands. His Janazah Salaah was conducted by Mufti Ebrahim Salejee Saheb, principal of Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Durban, after the Fajr Salaah on Thursday, 4th June 2020. Hadhrat Moulana was laid to rest at the Dayal Road Cemetery in Clairwood, Durban. He is survived by his wife, two sons and a daughter and many grandchildren. May Allah Ta’ala grant his family, students, associates and the community of Isipingo Beach Sabrun Jameel (beautiful patience) and Ajrun Azeem (great reward) on this irreplaceable loss. We have indeed lost one of our great spiritual leaders and giants. May Allah Ta’ala fill Hadhrat Moulana’s grave with Noor, grant him the highest of stages in Jannatul Firdaus, Ameen. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
  2. Aameen to this beautiful Du'a...welcome back!
  3. Allah loves all of His creatures and for that reason He sent prophets and messengers to teach us the truth and guide us to the straight path. Allah and the believers want people to choose the way of righteousness and thereby enter Paradise, but Allah does not love sinful actions. A person who rejects Allah, commits evil deeds, and dies without repentance will be denied the blessings of Allah’s love. Therefore, we should become familiar with the characteristics of those whom Allah loves and does not love as mentioned in the Quran. Allah loves faith and the believers, those who depend upon Him for their needs, who are mindful of Him and remember Him, who are grateful to Him for their blessings, who fear His punishment and hope in His reward. Allah said: And Allah said: And Allah said: And Allah said: Allah does not love stubborn rejection of faith, committing sins, and showing ingratitude. Allah said: And Allah said: Allah loves justice, truthfulness, and those who are fair with people. Allah said: Allah does not love oppression, transgressing the limits, treachery, betrayal, and falsehood. Allah said: And Allah said: And Allah said: And Allah said: And Allah said: Allah loves those who are humble and patient, who repent from evil deeds, and purify themselves from sin both inwardly and outwardly. Allah said: And Allah said: Allah does not love arrogance, pride, boasting to one another, extravagance, and exultation in wrongdoing. Allah said: And Allah said: And Allah said: And Allah said: These are some of the characteristics of those who earn the love of Allah and those who reject His love by their evil deeds. We ask Allah to make us among those who are loved by Him and who are saved from the evil of our own deeds. Success comes from Allah, and Allah knows best. Source
  4. Al-Nawawi on love for the sake of Allah Al-Nawawi (Rahimahullah) recorded in his book Riyad al-Salihin: Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: In another narration, the Prophet said: Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Al-Bara reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said about the Ansar: Mu’adh ibn Jabal reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Mu’adh ibn Jabal reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: In another narration, the Prophet said: And in another narration, the Prophet said: Al-Miqdam ibn Ma’di reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Anas ibn Malik reported: A man was with the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, when another man passed by and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, I love this man.” The Prophet said: He said no. The Prophet said: He went to the man and he said to him, “I love you for the sake of Allah.” The other man replied: Mu’adh ibn Jabal reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, took me by the hand and he said: Success comes from Allah, and Allah knows best. Source
  5. By Shaykhul-Hadīth, Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh Every person’s life comprises of three phases; the past, the present and the future. Every second that is to come is the future. As it comes, it enters the phase of present, and as it passes, it turns into the past. These three phases represent a person’s life and will determine one’s fate in the Hereafter. If all three phases are good, one will attain success in the Hereafter. We should therefore understand each phase, so that we can strive to make each one a means for success. THE PRESENT Upon careful reflection, one will realise that one’s present condition is either one of happiness or grief. A person is healthy or sick, wealthy or poor, honoured or disgraced. For a believer, every condition, good or bad, is a blessing from Allāh ta‘ālā. The condition of grief is a blessing because adoption of patience during grief makes a person deserving of lofty rewards. Allāh ta‘ālā says, Through suffering, Allāh ta‘ālā also forgives sins and raises status in Jannah. It is not against the concept of patience to ask Allāh ta‘ālā to remove the difficulty or calamity. One should turn to Allāh ta‘ālā with humility and ask Him to remove the calamity. On experiencing happiness or peace, one is rewarded for expressing gratitude to Allāh ta‘ālā. One should keep in mind that true gratitude is when a person accepts in his heart that he was not deserving of the blessing bestowed on him by Allāh ta‘ālā. The method of expressing gratitude is not restricted to verbal utterances only, but practical gratefulness is also included; in fact, that is the true form of expressing gratefulness. Practical gratefulness would mean that a person refrains from using the blessings in disobedience to Allāh ta‘ālā. It is apparent from the above discussion that one’s present is made good by adopting the qualities of sabr (patience) and shukr (gratitude). THE FUTURE In order to safeguard the future, one needs to seek refuge in Allāh the Almighty, as no one knows what the future holds. The pious of today can become the wrongdoers of tomorrow and vice versa. Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has said, An individual who carries out many devotions may be deprived of Īmān moments before his death due to pride or insincerity. Conditions of people can change unexpectedly, and so the only way to safeguard one’s future is through sincere devotion and seeking refuge in Allāh ta‘ālā from all harms that can possibly afflict one. Plato, a philosopher in the time of Sayyidunā Mūsā ‘alayhis salām, once approached Sayyidunā Mūsā ‘alayhis salām and asked him the following question, ‘If the heavens were to become a bow, and all calamities were to become arrows, and Allāh ta‘ālā Himself was the archer, how would one find protection?’ Sayyidunā Mūsā ‘alayhis salām replied, ‘In such a scenario there is only one way of protection, and that is to run towards the archer, i.e. Allāh, and seek refuge at His Side.’ The Ahādīth are full of supplications wherein Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has sought refuge in Allāh ta‘ālā from all kinds of calamities, however small and insignificant they may be. These supplications are comprehensive and include all the needs of human beings, spiritual and physical. I have put together a collection of such supplications in a book called Al-Mu‘awwadhāt. Readers are requested to acquire a copy and include it in their daily practices. (See link at the end of article) THE PAST Now finally the past. It may seem odd and surprising how one’s past can be made good, as there is no apparent way of rectifying something that has occurred in the past and become part of history. If a person deeply and honestly reflects on his past, he will acknowledge many occasions wherein he had violated the Commands of Allāh ta‘ālā. A true believer will indeed feel regret and sorrow for disobeying his Creator. However, the question remains, how is it possible to turn the clock back and undo what has already been done? The believers do not need to worry, for Allāh ta‘ālā through His Mercy, has granted us the invaluable bounty of tawbah (repentance). As soon as His servant turns to Him and repents with a sincere feeling of remorse, Allāh’s infinite Mercy releases the floods of forgiveness. Requisites of Repentance There are three conditions for repentance to be accepted. The first is the feeling of remorse and regret at having committed the sin. This should stem from the depth of the heart. The second is to immediately cease committing the sin. The third is to make a firm resolve never to commit the sin again. If the sin is related to the rights of the creation i.e. a violation of their rights, a fourth condition will also apply, and that is to make amends for the loss caused, such as asking them for forgiveness or repaying what is owed to them. If these conditions are met, Allāh ta‘ālā will not only forgive the sin but erase it from one’s Book of Deeds. Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has said, When a sin is committed, it is witnessed and recorded by all the surrounding creations of Allāh ta‘ālā, such as the angels, the earth, the nearby objects and even the limbs of the sinner himself. They will all testify against him in the Court of Allāh ta‘ālā. Allāh ta‘ālā says, However, once all the conditions of repentance are fulfilled, not only is the sin forgiven, but it is removed from the memory of all those who had witnessed the sin. Furthermore, Allāh ta‘ālā, through His Mercy, on many occasions, substitutes the sin with rewards. Allāh ta‘ālā says, Conclusion When all three phases of one’s life are protected, one will attain peace and contentment in this world and the everlasting success of the Hereafter. One’s past is made good by repentance which comprises of three things: remorse, forsaking wrong and a firm resolution never to return to wrong. One’s present is made good through adopting patience upon sufferings and grief, and being grateful to Allāh ta‘ālā upon happiness and prosperity. It is equally important not to be haughty and arrogant over the blessings provided by Allāh ta‘ālā. And finally, one’s future can be made good by doing good actions with sincerity and continuously seeking refuge in Allāh ta‘ālā from all possible harms of the future. May Allah ta‘ālā grant us His Protection from all the sufferings of this world and the Hereafter, and may He keep us steadfast on His true Dīn. Āmīn. Taken from Riyādul Jannah, Vol. 29 No. 1, 2020 © Islāmic Da'wah Academy
  6. Wa'alaykumus salaam warahmatullah Apologies, it takes time and we have not had time to check the videos
  7. Q. Does taking a COVID 19 Screening Test nullify the fast? A. The Jamiatul Ulama KZN Fatwa Department has been in contactwith Covid-19 Doctors on Call, established by KwaZulu-Natal Doctors Healthcare Coalition (KZNDHC) who offer screening and advice around Covid-19 in South Africa. They have confirmed that a Covid 19 Screening Test entails the following: 1. A swab is slowly inserted through the nostril until the nasopharynx (the upper part of the throat connecting to the nasal cavity) is reached.(Upper Respiratory Tract) 2. A swab is inserted into the mouth with the mouth wide open, to first rub the tonsils and then pharynx (the back of the throat).(Lower Respiratory Tract) 3. The patient is asked to cough and produce saliva that has been brought up. (Sputum Collection) The tool used in the test is a sterile, dry cotton or polyester swab that does not contain any substance or medication prior to testing. In terms of Shariah, the insertion of a dry object into the mouth or nostril does not nullify the fast. Therefore, taking a COVID 19 Screening Test whilst fasting will not nullify the fast. (Binaayah 4/65) And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Mufti Ismaeel Bassa Confirmation: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (The answer hereby given is specifically based on the question asked and should be read together with the question asked. Islamic rulings on this Q&A newsletter are answered in accordance to the Hanafi Fiqh unless otherwise stated.) Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
  8. Love and Reverence for Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam By Shaykhul-Hadīth, Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh Whenever the blessed name of our beloved Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam is mentioned, the one who is fortunate to utter this name and also the one who is fortunate to hear his name should, with utmost love and reverence, say, ‘sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam’. Nowadays, there is great negligence amongst youth in this regard. Some years ago, with the now older generation, we would see such great love and enthusiasm in reciting salāt ‘alan nabī (durūd); whenever the following verse would be recited in the khutbah, everyone would read some formula of salāt ‘alan nabī: This verse contains a command from Allāh ta‘ālā to send salāt ‘alan nabī as this is an action performed by both Allāh ta‘ālā and His angels. However, for the youth nowadays this verse doesn’t bring any response. When it is recited we do not see anyone reading salāt ‘alan nabī audibly or even silently. The ‘Ulamā have deduced from this verse that it is fard (compulsory) to send salutations and greetings upon the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam at least once in a lifetime. Thereafter, whenever one participates in any gathering, be it dars on the Qur’ān or hadīth, a lecture or even an informal gathering, then the first time the blessed name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam is mentioned it is wājib (obligatory) to read salāt ‘alan nabī; thereafter, every time, in the same gathering, whenever the blessed name is mentioned it is mustahab (desirable) to read salāt ‘alan nabī each time. Remember, love and reverence for the Prophet s dictates that even if the sharī‘ah had not stipulated that salāt ‘alan nabī be read when his blessed name is mentioned, we would still send salutations and greetings upon him in abundance. So, whenever we hear the verse above read in a khutbah we should read salāt ‘alan nabī. There are many formulae for salāt ‘alan nabī. The most virtuous is the formula that we read in salāh. The shortest formula is ‘sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam’. This is the formula commonly used by the Muhaddithīn and is probably the most frequently recited form. Our love for the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam should be such that we should not think of it to be a burden; rather, we should be eager to read it whenever we can. If, during a lecture, the scholar is explaining a point and happens not to mention the name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam for some time, we should feel that something is missing and eagerly await when the blessed name is mentioned so that we can say salāt ‘alan nabī. Love and reverence for the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam also dictates that we do not shorten his name when writing it. Many, instead of writing ‘Muhammad’ in full, suffice with writing ‘Mohd’. We write an article or letter of many pages and the only word that we find that we can shorten is the blessed name of the beloved of Allāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam! Similarly, many do not write, for example, ‘sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam’, sufficing with ‘s.a.w’. Again, in the whole letter, article, etc. are these the only words that we can find to shorten? There is a similar trend in the Urdu language where the letters ‘Sād’ or ‘Sād, Lām, ‘Ayn and Mīm’ are used to represent ‘sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam’. Ponder for a while that who is planting these thoughts in your mind about shortening the name and salutation for our beloved Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. What does this show regarding our love and reverence for our beloved Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam? I remember when I was a student in Dārul ‘Ulūm, the way we were taught by our elders and the culture in the madrāsah was such that as the blessed name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam was mentioned again and again, it was very difficult to take down all the notes from the lectures and also write the name of the Prophet s with salutations. Therefore, in our notes, wherever we had to write the blessed name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam and salutations, we would leave out a blank space and after class, in our own time, with our best handwriting we would write the salutations in our note books. I would also like to bring an important point to the attention of many lecturers, who speak with the most eloquent language and accents, yet, when it comes to salāt ‘alan nabī they quickly mumble the words, void of love and reverence. Is this the level of our love and reverence for our Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam? In reading salāt ‘alan nabī there is nothing but benefit for us: 1. Allāh ta‘ālā sends ten mercies upon a person who recites salāt ‘alan nabī once. 2. Ten sins are forgiven. 3. The person’s rank is raised by ten degrees. 4. Ten rewards are written for him. 5. There is acceptance of du‘ā where salāt ‘alan nabī is recited at the beginning and at the end. 6. The person will be blessed with the intercession of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. 7. Allāh ta‘ālā will forgive his sins. 8. Allāh ta‘ālā is pleased with him. 9. The person will be nearer to the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam on the Day of Judgement. 10. The person will have all his worries removed in this world and the Hereafter. The great luminary in the field of tazkiyah and ihsān, Shaykhul-Hadīth, Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Zakariyyā rahimahullāh would often receive letters regarding different problems and he would reply with appropriate answers. However, one point he would emphasise on in every reply was to be punctual in the recitation of salāt ‘alan nabī. There is a solution to every problem in sending salutations upon Muhammad sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. Finally, the great shaykh, Hadrat Mawlānā Rashīd Ahmad Gangohī rahimahullāh would instruct that salāt ‘alan nabī be read a minimum of 300 times daily by every Muslim. In the beginning, we could read the shortest formula of salāt ‘alan nabī mentioned above. After that we should try to recite salāt ‘alan nabī with the most virtuous salāt ‘alan nabī mixed in after every 10-15 of the shortest formula. This figure of 300 should be increased on the day of Friday, as the day of Friday has a special affinity with the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. May Allāh ta‘ālā enable us to read salāt ‘alan nabī in abundance and have true love and reverence for our beloved Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. Taken from Riyādul Jannah, Vol. 19 No. 9/10, 2010 © Islāmic Da'wah Academy
  9. Assalaamu 'alaykum warahmatullah Nice to see you back brother CH..hammering away masha-allah...but preaching to the converted here. But please do continue posting your valuable contribution on our rather forlorn territory
  10. Many of us have developed a culture of indulgent eating… lavish five course Sunday lunches, daily indulgent snacks and more! The Holy Quraan states: “…and eat and drink but do not be excessive, certainly He (Allah) does not like those who are extravagant.” (Quraan 7:31) Fasting gives our digestive system a much needed rest , where the energy usually used in food digestion and metabolism is directed towards the bodies detoxification , repair and healing…Subhaanallah! Fasting is one of the oldest forms of natural healing. The West are in fact now highly recommending fasting as an ideal detox and a brilliant way to supercharge the immune system This Ramadhaan, let us stop feasting and indulging and allow our bodies to obtain maximum spiritual and health benefits, Insha’Allah. What can we do? Introduce LIVE FOOD intake into our diet Live food refers to all foods that Allah Ta’ala has gifted us naturally from the ground, ready to eat and cook. No need for processing, preservatives, machines and factories. Did you ever realise that during the time of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) there were no fridges and freezes? Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) preferred to eat live, simple uncomplicated food that was easily available and required minimal preparation. These included: Fruits & vegetables Nuts and seeds Beans and lentils Unpasteurised milk Whole unrefined grains – barley & wheat Meat and poultry Our bodies and brains will express delight at receiving real food after several hours of fasting. So ensure you are organised this Ramadhaan and prepare a wholesome, well balanced menu plan before the holy month commences. Good ideas for SUHOOR would include Dates stuffed with almonds Raisins consumed whole or in a Sunnah drink known as “ nabeedh” Sliced Seasonal fruit or Fruit smoothies incorporating nuts & seeds Eggs & beans or lentils Wholegrain cereals – barley & oats (Barley was a staple in our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) diet consumed as “talbinah”) Good ideas for IFTAAR would include Fresh or dry dates Date, avocado or strawberry shakes (Remember to avoid adding refined sugars. Rather make use of raw honey, xylitol or stevia – more natural sweeteners) Attractive fruit platters or individual skewers served with a drizzling of honey & a sprinkle of cinnamon Freshly squeezed seasonal fruit juice Vegetable sticks & olives served with yoghurt or hummus & Dukkah or zaatar spice blends Assorted salads – Coleslaw, carrot, beetroot, apple, avocado salads Wholesome broths/soups cooked with meat, lentils and wholegrains. Similar to a broth made with barley called “ Sawiq” consumed by our Noble Prophet (Peace be upon him) Rice and meat dishes Remember to use beneficial cooking fats as used by our Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) - Olive oil, Ghee, Butter & Fat from meat. Other beneficial fats to include would be Organic coconut oil, avocado or macadamia oils. In conclusion, remember processed food, laden with sugars and harmful fats offers minimal nutrition, requires increased effort by the body to digest and is detrimental to health. We need to consume foods that are closest to their natural state, as the Quraan beautifully describes: “Oh mankind! Eat of that which is lawful and good on earth, and follow not the footsteps of Shaitaan. Verily, he is to you an open enemy.” (Quraan 2:168) With a healthy body and mind, the quality of our Fasting, Salaah and all other Ibaadat (worship) will increase Insha’Allah. Fasting is indeed food for the soul and healing for the Body! Umme Faatimah (B. Dietetics Univ. of Pretoria) Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
  11. The Station of Fear By Imam Ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah (RA) From among the stations of worshipping Allah and seeking His help is the station of fear. Fear is one of the most important stations on the path and most beneficial for the heart. Fear is an obligation upon everyone, Allah said, "So fear them not, and fear Me alone, if you are believers." [3:175] (The actual word used for fear in this verse is 'khawf.') Another verse says, "And Me alone you all should fear," [2:40] the actual word being a derivative of 'rahba.' And, "So do not fear people, but fear Me," [5:44] the actual word in Arabic being 'khashya.' Different connotations of these various terms in Arabic for fear will be discussed shortly. Allah has praised those who possess the attribute of fear saying, "And such (are the believers) who are humbled by the fear of their Lord..." [23:57] Fear (of Allah's displeasure or punishment) is not only for grave sinners, but also for the pious, observant believers, as in the following hadeeth: Aisha said, "O Messenger of Allah, is the verse "And those who dispense their charity while their hearts fear that to their Lord they must return" [23:60] referring to someone who commits fornication, drinks alcohol and steals and still fear Allah? The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "No, O daughter of as-Siddiq, but it refers to one who fasts, perform salah and gives charity, and fears that it may not be accepted from him." (Tirmithi) Al-Hasan, commenting on this, said, "By Allah, they (the Companions) obeyed Him and strove hard in it, yet they feared it might be rejected. A believer combines righteousness with fear in his heart, while a hypocrite combines evil with impunity." The terms 'wajal,' 'khawf,' 'khashya' and 'rahba,' are used in the Qur'an to refer to what we have translated as ‘fear', but they are not synonyms. Abul-Qasim al-Junayd said, "Al-khawf is the anticipation of punishment." Another scholar said, "Al-khawf is the moving of the heart upon the cognizance of that which is feared." The word khashya is more specific than khawf, for it is specific to the true knowers of Allah - as Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, said, "Truly, those who fear Allah from among His servants are the knowers." [35:28] Hence, khashya. is fear associated with the intimate knowledge (ma'rifa) of Allah-as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "I am most mindful of Allah among you, and most intense in fearing Him." (Bukhari, Muslim) Khawf is movement in its essence, while khashya is concentration, stillness, and holding of breath. For example, someone who sees a fierce enemy or a flood or something like that has two states: first, movement in order to flee from it, and this is the state of khawf. Second, his stillness in a place safe from the danger-and this is khashya. Ar-Rahba means the urge to run away from the danger-which is the opposite of ar-Raghba, which means the urge of the heart to journey towards that which it likes. Al-Wajal is the trembling of the heart upon the cognition or remembrance of someone whose power or punishment one fears. Al-Haybah is fear associated with awe and glorification, and its greatest form is that which occurs in association with love and intimate knowledge (ma'rifa). Al-Khawf, then, is for the common believers, while al-kbashya is for the scholars with profound knowledge, while at-haybah is for those nearest to Allah. The extent of one's fear for Allah is proportional to one's knowledge, both formal and experiential, of Allah. As the Prophet, sallallahu alaybe wa sallam, said, "I am the most knowledgeable of Allah among you, and most intense in His khashya." In another narration of the same hadeeth, the word used is khawf instead of khashya. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, also said, "if you knew what I know, you would laugh little and weep much, and would not enjoy intimacy with women, and would go out wandering in the wildernesses and praying to Allah." (Ahmad) When faced with his object of fear, a man with khawf turns to fleeing and grabbing, while a man with khashya seeks the support of knowledge. For example, when a lay person is faced with an illness, he seeks to protect himself (and seeks someone who could help) while a skilled physician turns to investigating the illness and the cure. Abu Hafs says, "Al-khawf is Allah's lash with which He straightens up those fleeing from His door." He also said, "Al-khawf is a lamp in the heart, with which the good and the evil inside of the heart can be seen-and everyone you fear from, you run away from him, except Allah-when you fear Him, you run towards Him for refuge." Hence, the one who fears Allah is a refugee towards His Lord's [mercy] from his Lord's [displeasure]. Abu Suleiman said, "Whenever fear (of Allah) departs a heart, it is ruined." Ibraheem ibn Sufyan said, "When fear of Allah resides in hearts, it burns away the sources of lust and eradicates worldly attachments." Thun-Noon said, "People will stay on the path so long as they have (Allah's) fear when this fear leaves them, they will go astray." Fear, however, is not the end in itself, but a means towards an end. When that end, Allah's ultimate pleasure, is attained, there is no need for fear. As Allah says to the people of Paradise: "there is no fear upon them, nor do they grieve." Fear is associated with actions, while love is connected with being and attributes. When the believers enter the Realm of Allah's eternal blessings, their love will multiply, while their fear will disappear. Hence, the place of love is higher and nobler than the place of fear. The true and praiseworthy fear is that which stops a person from the prohibitions of Allah. But when fear exceeds this boundary, it may bring hopelessness and despair. Abu Uthman said, "Sincerity of fear is vigilance from sins, open and secret." I also heard Shaykhul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah honor his soul, say, "The praiseworthy fear is that which prevented you from the prohibitions of Allah." The author of al-Manazil, Shaykh al-Harawi, said, "Al-khawf, or fear, is to do away with careless sense of security by envisioning the great news (of the Last Day)." He further said, "The beginning of fear is the fear of punishment, and this kind of fear is sufficient to establish the soundness of one's faith. It is born out of one's affirmation of the warning (of Allah's punishment), recognition of one's transgressions and consideration of the punishment." Thus, fear is preceded by cognition and knowledge for a man cannot fear what he does not know. Two more things are related to fear: the thing or occurrence that is feared, and the way that leads one to it. Lack of knowledge of either of these leads to a concomitant lack of fear. If one does not know that a certain act leads to a feared outcome or he knows so but does not know the value or might of that which he claims to fear, one does not really have true fear. Similarly, an active awareness of the punishment or loss that one fears, not just a passive and abstract knowledge of it, is an indication of the sincerity of fear and sound faith. Another praiseworthy category of fear is to fear returning to the state of sinfulness and heedlessness after one has attained closeness to Allah and sincere fear of His displeasure-for if one feels unduly secure in one's state, it is likely that one will go back to the state of sinfulness. Balancing Fear with Hope The heart in its journey towards Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, is like a bird whose head is love, and hope and fear are its two wings. When the head and the two wings are sound and healthy the flight of the bird is good, but when the head is cut off, it immediately dies, and when either or both wings are deficient, the bird cannot properly fly and may become victim of any hunter or snare. The righteous predecessors preferred to strengthen the wing of fear during good times when heedlessness is feared, and to strengthen the wing of hope at times of calamity and when near death. Some have said that it is better to strengthen fear more than hope because when vain hopes overcome a person he is ruined. Others say that the best of situations is a complete balance of hope and fear with overwhelming love, for love is composite, while hope is a sharpener and fear a driver. Article taken (with Thanks) from www.islaam.com
  12. Session 3 – 10th April 2020 Toxic Relationships – Recognising & Recovering “Toxic relationship” is a trendy term but what does it mean? By definition, a toxic relationship is a relationship characterised by behaviour on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and physically damaging to their partner. While a healthy relationship contributes to our self-esteem and emotional energy, a toxic relationship damages self-esteem and drains energy. Toxic relationships are mentally, emotionally and possibly even physically damaging to one or both partners. It has a wide spectrum where the middle level is when it is harmful or hurtful to one participant and the extreme level is verbal or physical abuse which is not just toxic, but wrong. Many of us deal with the middle level i.e. toxic behaviour from parents/children, other family members, colleagues, etc. Various types of self-help therapies can be found online however God is taken out of the picture. As Muslims we look towards Islam for solutions and this series is about looking for practical Qur’anic therapy. Signs of a Toxic person · Belittling – always criticising, name calling · Hurting – hurtful, sarcastic or snide comments · Lack of empathy – they don’t care if they hurt the person on the receiving end · Manipulative – they induce guilt in the victim · They feel entitled to and deserving of their demands · Control – they have to be in control Signs of being in a Toxic Relationship A person can determine whether they are in a toxic relationship when they feel; · Hurt after being around a particular person · Fear, insecurity · Low self-esteem, undermined · Dominated with one’s own weaknesses used against them Note: Good advice given in a good way which you don’t want to hear is not regarded toxic because the person is trying to help you. Types of Toxic Situations Toxic situations can arise due to; · People – it can be parents, spouse, colleague, etc. who demean, belittle, criticise, and cause a toxic situation · Places – There is a story mentioned in Hadith regarding the man who killed 99 people The Prophet of Allah (ﷺ) said: "There was a man from among a nation before you who killed ninety-nine people and then made an inquiry about the most learned person on the earth. He was directed to a monk. He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the negative and the man killed him also completing one hundred. He then asked about the most learned man in the earth. He was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the affirmative and asked, 'Who stands between you and repentance? Go to such and such land; there (you will find) people devoted to prayer and worship of Allah, join them in worship, and do not come back to your land because it is an evil place.' So he went away and hardly had he covered half the distance when death overtook him; and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of torment. The angels of mercy pleaded, 'This man has come with a repenting heart to Allah,' and the angels of punishment argued, 'He never did a virtuous deed in his life.' Then there appeared another angel in the form of a human being and the contending angels agreed to make him arbiter between them. He said, 'Measure the distance between the two lands. He will be considered belonging to the land to which he is nearer.' They measured and found him closer to the land (land of piety) where he intended to go, and so the angels of mercy collected his soul". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. In another version: "He was found to be nearer to the locality of the pious by a cubit and was thus included among them". Another version says: "Allah commanded (the land which he wanted to leave) to move away and commanded the other land (his destination) to draw nearer and then He said: "Now measure the distance between them.' It was found that he was nearer to his goal by a hand's span and was thus forgiven". It is also narrated that he drew closer by a slight movement on his chest. [Riyaaadhus Saaliheen] The town was toxic for the man and he was advised to leave it to become a better person. This shows that places can be toxic and they can bring out the worst in us. Mention is made in Hadith regarding the best and worst of places; “The most beloved of places to Allah are the mosques, and the most hated of places to Allah are the markets.” Muslim The Masaajid are the best places to detox as they are the most spiritually productive and peaceful places where Allah ta’ala’s Rahmah descends. In the Halaal spectrum, the marketplaces are the worst places due to greed, envy, etc. which are part of marketplaces. · One’s own self – one’s own self can be toxic i.e. a person’s anger issues, jealousy, etc. can affect relationships so much so that even their children do not wish to confide or talk to them. Therefore, we also need to be truthful with ourselves and see if we are the cause of hurt for others around us How to deal with a Toxic situation It depends on the situation; · Wider circle – includes colleagues, acquaintances, people who one is not living closely with and therefore easier to put up and control barriers. In this case we find the following solutions in the Qur’an and Hadith; Ø Turn away/ignore/remain silent It takes two people to fight so if one remains quiet or ignores the toxic comments then there will be no fight. Toxic people look for and enjoy a reaction so remaining silent puts a person in a better position. In a tug of war if one side lets go, the other side falls. What does the Qur’an teach us regarding this? ‘Umar bin al-Khattab RA was known for his anger yet it is reported about him that a man sought permission to speak and then he said, "O Ibn al-Khattab, you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us." 'Umar RA was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al-Hurr bin Qays - who was one of those present – said, "O Commander of the Believers! Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) said to His Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم): "Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish." [al-A'raf; 199], and this man is one of the foolish." The narrator says, “By Allah, 'Umar could go no further after al-Hurr had recited this verse to him, as he was a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of Allah." Ø Being a true Servant of Allah ta’ala & doing Sabr Allah ta’ala says in Surah Furqaan who the true servants of Ar-Rahmaan are: وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا True servants of the Compassionate (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and when the ignorant people address them, they say: "Peace;" [Furqaan:63] Allah ta’ala says, وَأَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَلَا تَنَازَعُوا فَتَفْشَلُوا وَتَذْهَبَ رِيحُكُمْ ۖ وَاصْبِرُوا ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ Obey Allah and His Rasool and do not argue with one another, lest you lose courage and weaken your strength. Show patience, surely Allah is on the side of the patient. [Surah Anfaal: 46] Toxic people drain your energy and weaken you emotionally so much so that you do not have energy for anything else Ø Being just in Vengefulness Aishah RA reports that a person once came to the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam and, after being seated asked, “I have few slaves who lie to me, deceive me and disobey me. I scold them and sometimes even hit them. What will become of us?” The Prophet replied, “On the Day of Judgment, their lies, deceit and disobedience will be reckoned against the punishment that you mete out to them. If the two are found to be equal, then the matter will be resolved. Neither will you receive anything from them, nor will you be punished. If your punishment is found to be less than their misdeeds, you will receive compensation for it. However, if your punishment exceeds the extent of their misdeeds, then they will be compensated at your expense.” Hearing this, the person moved away, weeping and wailing. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam then told him, “Did you not read in Allah’s Book, ‘On the Day of Judgment, We will erect the scales of justice and no soul will be oppressed in the least?’” The person then told the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam, “O Prophet. By Allah! I see nothing better for them and for me except that I should be separated from them. I call you to witness that I have freed all of them.” [Mishkat] Our Deen allows revenge under conditions however, people tend to exceed the limit in revenge. This is an injustice for which there is accountability. Injustice in revenge creates a vicious and ugly cycle so if there is fear of injustice being committed, then it is better to forgive and separate · Family - includes spouses, children, members of the family one lives with and those whom one is bound to keep ties of kinship with i.e. blood ties, marriage ties, etc. Due to close relations and interactions, it becomes more difficult to put up barriers however it can still be done while remaining within the legal boundaries of the Shari’ah. Ø “Sila Rahmi” while remaining within boundaries – Sila Rahmi an important part of our Deen. Allah ta’ala says in the Qu’ran, وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ “… and fear Allāh through whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut) family ties. [Surah Nisaa’: 1] The Hadith have laid great emphasis on bonds of kinship. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam has said: “Whoever likes to have his livelihood made plentiful and his age extended for him should maintain good relations with his near of kin.” One can pick one’s friends but not one’s relatives so in situations where one has toxic relationships with a family member or relative it does become difficult to honour family ties. There are different ways and levels of maintaining ties, the minimal being making salaam when meeting. One should also offer condolences at some loss and wish congratulations at some good news. This is the minimum degree of maintaining ties without being close especially when relations are trying to harm you or break your marriage as sometimes happens. Therefore, one can keep their distance without breaking ties. One should always endeavour to overlook the faults of others and never let the great virtue of joining family ties escape one’s grasp. Uqba bin Amir RA narrates that he once met the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam and, grasping hold of his hand, requested to be informed of a most virtuous action. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam replied, “Oh Uqba, join ties with those who sever them with you. Be generous to those who deprive you, and ignore those who oppress you.” Ø Affectionate speech - In the Qur’an (Surah Maryam, verses 41-49) we see the beautiful manner in which Ibraheem AS deals with his father who was an idol maker and worshipped idols. He used different approaches to convince his father. He asks his father addressing him يَا أَبَتِ (which is a kind and affectionate term), why he worships things (idols) that cannot hear, cannot see and cannot be of any assistance to him. He continues addressing him in this way and tells him to follow Him (i.e. Ibraheem AS) as he has knowledge and will guide him to the straight path. Thereafter he invokes his father’s emotions and uses the fear factor by expressing his fear lest his father be punished. His father however remained silent throughout this address and thereafter threatened violence and turned him out. How did Ibraheem AS react? He detoxed the situation by saying, قَالَ سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكَ – “He said, peace be upon you” and made Du’a for him and thereafter he left. He was a Prophet but human, with human feelings. He tried his best to make his father understand and when he was threatened and turned out, he left calmly and peacefully. In this there are many lessons for us. In a toxic relationship with relatives one can adopt different methods without breaking ties: Ø Keep a minimal level of maintaining ties Ø Use kind/affectionate speech Ø Do not reciprocate toxic behaviour Ø Make excuses for them Ø Overlook and forgive – the best method but the hardest and heaviest Overcoming negative feelings arising from Toxic Relationships As we learnt in the introduction session, thought patterns can change our emotions which in turn change our actions. يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱجۡتَنِبُواْ كَثِيرً۬ا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعۡضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثۡمٌ۬‌ۖ “Oh you who believe; avoid most of suspicion for surely, suspicion in some cases is a sin.” [Surah Ankaboot: 12] الظَّنّ refers to any thought which is negative or wrong. Therefore, avoid it, push it away, protect yourself from it. This verse shows the power of thoughts. The following are ways one can overcome the negative feeling arising from toxic relationships however, it requires emotional and spiritual maturity. Ø This is a test from Allah ta’ala – realising that it is a test from Allah ta’ala makes a person do Sabr. يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ O' You who believe! Seek My help with patience and prayer: surely, Allah is with those who are patient. [2:153] وَاصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا يَقُولُونَ وَاهْجُرْهُمْ هَجْرًا جَمِيلًا Bear patiently with what they say and leave their company in a polite manner. [Surah Muzzammil: 10] Ø Allah ta’ala is al-Baaqi and everything is Faani – nothing is forever Ø It is Allah ta’ala Who makes us laugh and weep – the toxic person causing hurt and grief is but the means. It is Allah ta’ala Who makes us laugh and cry. وَأَنَّهُ هُوَ أَضْحَكَ وَأَبْكَىٰ And that He it is Who maketh laugh, and maketh weep, [An-Najm: 43] Ø Getting emotional closure - means that you can distance yourself emotionally from your situation and its associated pain when you cannot distance yourself physically i.e. put on a protecting shield/defense mechanism. Ø Make Du’a and take the opportunity to make the connection with Allah ta’ala strong. In our present situation of the global pandemic and lockdown, toxic relationships become magnified and relationships can break down. Therefore, there is a necessity for self-awareness, self-care and self-help - take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Don’t let toxic behaviour affect your health. Leave them to Allah ta’ala. Forgive and move on and learn from your pain. The best life lessons a person learns are from testing times.
  13. Session 2 – 3rd April 2020 The Anger Games – Dealing with the toughest emotion The session is titled “anger games” because anger is something which requires different tactics, strategies and techniques to control it, much like a game. Anger is an emotion on which a lot has been written and is a widespread problem in all spheres; public and private. In work places it is somewhat subdued due to the professional environment however it is at its worst in domestic cases. Some people are extremely nice in public however, they have extreme anger issues in private. It is important to understand that Anger is a necessary emotion and it is not bad in itself. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam also felt anger. It is mentioned in Hadith how, when the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam was angry, his face changed colour however he did not react angrily in word or act and he became angry only for truth. Positive anger is a combination of fear and anger which results in courage. Negative anger is the uncontrolled, destructive anger which controls a person’s life. To be completely devoid of anger manifests as cowardice. Therefore, it is not about subduing anger, but controlling it. Imam Ghazali (Rahimahullah) says, "When anger is under control it results in courage. Its excess and defect lead to rashness and cowardice." Anger is necessary to fight any wrong however it has to be applied with justice and righteousness. Imam Ghazali (Rahimahullah) says, “Anger is acceptable only at the right time, at the right place, for the right reason and with the right intensity.” Therefore, there are conditions attached. In a commentary on Imam Al-Ghazali’s “The Forty Foundations of Religion” the author says, “Anger is like a hunting dog that does not oppose the hunter who trained it. Anger is led, like a hunting dog, by the intellect and sacred law, abiding by their guidance. This is only possible after a great deal of spiritual struggle against the self and becoming habituated to forbearance and resisting those things that cause anger.” Imam Birgivi (Rahimahullah) says there are two types of anger; excessive anger which comes out of stupidity and anger which is a sickness of the heart. Therefore, excessive anger is a sign of the person being stupid. Anger due to the sickness of the heart can flare up much like a physical illness which is fine at times and flares up at times. Anger with one’s own self Imam Birgivi (Rahimahullah) says, “To be annoyed at yourself because you have been lax in worship or you realize that you have sinned is correct, so long as it is not excessive. When your anger leads you to decide to redeem yourself by good actions and extra prayers, it is commendable.” Causes for Anger There are many causes for excessive anger. It can be genetic or due to environment. Anger can be contagious and it can be a learnt behaviour. Children especially learn from the angry, aggressive behaviour of their parents. Other underlying causes can be: · Takabbur (Pride/arrogance) – leads to anger at being slighted or criticised even a little. · Hirs (Desire) – leads to anger when things do not go according to desire and the remedy for this is having Tawakkul i.e. do we trust in Allah ta’ala’s plans or ours? Imam Ghazali (Rahimahullah) says, “There is no cause for your anger except the denial that a thing occurs by the will of Allah rather than by your own will…the anger of Allah upon you is greater than your own anger, and the grace of Allah is greater…” · Hasad (Jealousy) and jesting and mockery can make a person angry · PMS - mood swings, fatigue and irritability lead to anger in premenstrual days How to deal with Anger In the present situation of the Corona virus pandemic, lockdown and social distancing, amid fear, uncertainty and stress, anger can become a great problem affecting relationships. How do we deal with anger when it erupts within ourselves or facing it in others? Being aware one has anger issues and understanding why and when one gets angry, helps in dealing with it. If facing anger in someone else, try to understand their anger i.e. a child may be showing anger due to jealousy of a sibling or a husband may be angry due to stress, an elderly person may be angry due to feeling unwell, etc. Treatment of Anger through self-help Therapy Remember TEA - thoughts affect your emotions which lead to actions Pause to reflect. Avoid reacting immediately to any situation - Identify your thoughts. Analyse the cause of the anger. Therapy through the Qur’an & Hadith Restrain/control your anger وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ And those who control their wrath and are forgiving toward mankind; Allah loveth the good; [Surah Aali ‘Imraa:134] “Swallowing/restraining/controlling” anger it is not that which gets stuck in the throat and later manifests itself into vengefulness. It is do Ihsaan, to overlook and forgive. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “He who has the strength, the opportunity, and favourable conditions for success in expressing anger by violence, yet restrains himself, will be shown to the resurrected crowds on the Day of Judgment as an honoured servant of Allah and asked to choose his own rewards.” (Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi) Understanding the verses of the Qur’an and absorbing them is very important as the message is brought to the forefront when required. Umar ibn al-Khattaab RA was a powerful leader yet he welcomed criticism. He used to say, “May Allah have mercy on the one who shows me my faults.” Sunan al-Dārimī 649 Ibn 'Abbas RA narrated: "A man sought permission to speak to 'Umar bin al-Khattab RA, then he said: "O Ibn al-Khattab, you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us." 'Umar was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al-Hurr bin Qays - who was one of those present - said: "O Commander of the Believers! Allah ta’ala said to His Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم): {"Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish."} [al-A'raf; 199], and this man is one of the foolish." By Allah, 'Umar could go no further after al-Hurr had recited this verse to him, as he was a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of Allah." ['Fath al-Bari'; 4/304] Ask yourself, is the anger for the sake of Allah ta’ala or is it for personal reasons? It is related about Ali RA that once when he was in the midst of a battle, he was about to slay his opponent. As he rose to strike his foe, the man spat on his face. Ali immediately dropped his sword and left him. When he was asked why he did not kill the man when he had full control of that situation, he replied that if he had killed the man after he spat on his face, his intention would not have been solely for the cause of Allah, but out of personal anger. Upon hearing this, his opponent accepted Islam. Remind yourself, would I like Allah ta’ala to treat me for my shortcomings as I am about to treat my detractor? Abu Mas'ood al-Ansari RA reported: When I was beating my servant, I heard a voice behind me (saying): Abu Mas'ood, bear in mind Allah has more dominance over you than you have upon him. I turned and (found him) to be Allah's Messenger (ﷺ). I said: Allah's Messenger, I set him free for the sake of Allah. Thereupon he said: Had you not done that, (the gates of) Hell would have opened for you, or the fire would have burnt you (Muslim) Having humbleness in the heart وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا True servants of the Compassionate (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and when the ignorant people address them, they say: "Peace;" [Furqaan: 63] Forgiving - Yusuf AS was thrown in a well and abandoned at a tender age yet he forgave his brothers قَالَ لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ ۖ يَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۖ وَهُوَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ He said, “No reproach upon you today! May Allah forgive you, and He is the Most- Merciful of all the merciful. [Yoosuf: 93] Yoosuf AS did not remind them of their evil action or reproach them and instead made Du’a for forgiveness for them saying Allah ta’ala is Most Merciful of all the merciful. Some practical tips to keep anger under control: · Diffuse the situation by: Ø Keeping quiet - "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." Sahih al-Jami' Ø Reciting the Ta’awwudh - "I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan' then all his anger will go away" Bukhari Ø Walking away Ø Changing posture - “When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.” Abu Dawood · Perform Wudhu – “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” Abu Dawood · Apologising · Remind yourself that this is but a test from Allah ta’ala and was written in one’s Taqdeer · Breathing exercise · Keeping a journal to vent feelings · With children, changing the way of talking i.e. talking in whispers or playing a game i.e. each person thinks of 3 things to do shukr for – puts family in better mood Shukr brings contentment and Dhikr brings peace. A peaceful heart will not be an angry heart.
  14. Part 2 - Self-help Therapy for minor mental health problems People have a remarkable ability to adapt and we see this in our current situation of the global pandemic. Since no one can change their circumstances, people have to change themselves according to the circumstances and these sessions are about self-help therapy; knowing how to help ourselves practically, learning how to cope/manage the everyday problems mentally and emotionally i.e. to understand the problem (what are my thinking patterns and how are they causing the problem?) and then changing them. This is what Allah ta’ala says in the Qur’an; إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ The fact is that Allah never changes the condition of a people until they intend to change it themselves. [Surah Ra’ad: 11] Allah ta’ala changes the external conditions when we change our internal condition. For example, the pandemic we’re all in now, maybe Allah ta’ala is forcing us to look deep within ourselves and change our internal condition (negative thinking, diseases of the heart, etc.) To change our condition, we have to understand our own selves. There are different scenarios regarding stress: Ø A person has problems and stress Ø A person has problems and no stress Ø A person no problem and no stress Ø A person has no problem but has stress – many people say they are stressed but have no problems as they have everything they need. The Power of Thoughts Surah Hujuraat: verse 12 يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ O ye who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime الظَّنّ refers to any thought which is negative or wrong. Therefore, avoid it, push it away, protect yourself from it. This verse shows the power of thoughts. A person’s thoughts result in their thinking pattern which develops into their emotional pattern (mostly in childhood). Example: a child has a bad experience in school so mum gives him a chocolate. Next time the child is sad he is given an ice cream and this develops into emotional eating. Some people go shopping to feel better. In extreme cases especially among youth, they harm themselves by cutting, scratching or slashing themselves. They do not do this to die but according to psychological research, their pain is so deep that to numb the internal pain they bring upon themselves, physical pain. Our awareness of mental health issues is so low that we cannot see the suffering behind the actions and call them crazy. We cannot judge people with mental health problems who need help. When a child complains and refuses to go to school because someone made fun of them, we should not dismiss it and negate their emotions. We have to see it from their point of view and have empathy. We can use different approaches to make them feel better and continue going school i.e. saying, “If you don’t go to school then you’re letting them win. Don’t let them win. Go to school and work hard and win.” This will change their thinking pattern. The Cognitive processes Beware of thoughts as they affect your emotions which lead to actions - (TEA) · Identify your thoughts – be aware of yourself and this is also part of Taqwa (Being aware/conscious of Allah ta’ala is the higher level) · Change your thoughts · Changing thoughts will change your emotions · Changing emotions will change your actions Example 1. A person fears failure and thinks to himself, “I can’t do this, I’m not good enough” - he will give up 2. Viewing it as a challenge - will change his feelings and use them to grow Both these responses affect the actions. Therefore, ظَنّ and safeguarding one’s self from negative ظَنّ is very important. Be aware of your thoughts and negotiate with yourself. Self-care, self-awareness and self-help work together for better minor mental health issues. This is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Following definition taken from psychcentral.com Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behaviour that are behind people’s difficulties, and so change the way they feel. It is used to help treat a wide range of issues in a person’s life, from sleeping difficulties or relationship problems, to drug and alcohol abuse or anxiety and depression. CBT works by changing people’s attitudes and their behaviour by focusing on the thoughts, images, beliefs and attitudes that are held (a person’s cognitive processes) and how these processes relate to the way a person behaves, as a way of dealing with emotional problems. Beliefs & Values One’s beliefs and values can also change the thought process. They can overcome and break the mental health problem caused due to life experiences. Emotions such as anger, jealousy, etc can also be overcome through self-awareness and self-help
×
×
  • Create New...