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Addiction & Relationships


ummtaalib
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There’s a young man, his parents find out about his drug addiction, they are totally traumatised. Instead of getting him help, they unfortunately feel the institution of marriage will rehabilitate him. The idea of “settling” him down, concealing his ugly habit and marrying him off to an unsuspecting, innocent young girl is deemed a better solution. Her single settled life is thrown upside down and she is thrown into a life of hell.
 
There’s a young woman who’s been to university and then climbed the ladder at work. Someone introduced her to Kat (a stimulant similar to cocaine). It will give her a boost and help her multitask, plus it’s a slimmer. She loses weight, is a superstar at work but then she needs more and soon her 4 gram treat is R1000 a day habit that she cannot function without. Her biological clock is ticking, a good proposal comes along and concealing things she marries.
 
Addiction results in obsessive compulsive behaviour. Addicts will go to great lengths to get their fix. They have two personas. When he is craving he is different from when he is high. In order to be calm and relaxed he needs to have his drug of choice and thus he’s high all the time. His wife only knows the “high” him. When he calms down everything becomes a fight and she blames herself until years later the ugly truth is revealed.
 
Addiction and alcoholism is one of the most destructive forces a relationship can ever endure if it manages to survive it. The more time and effort an addict puts into using drugs, the life of finding drugs and using them becomes a cycle at the expense of everyone and everything around them. Love of the family, family responsibilities, time with the family take a distant second place to the love of drugs. Drug addiction is something that Muslim organisations and rehabilitation centres have to deal with on a daily basis.
 
More and more marriages are suffering from the addiction of one or sometimes both partners. Drugs and its different categories, and alcohol are among the major causes of destruction of a society because the use of drugs and all the other intoxicants is of the greatest crimes which in itself lead to other serious sins.
 
“It is what we call the mother of all evils and the cause of corruption. Whenever a society is infested with drugs, as we are now, it is thrown into violent passions and lust and harms and leads to all kinds of contagious diseases.”
 
It is only if Muslims make a U-Turn and return to Allah will there be eradication. Maulana Riaz Limbada from the Crescent of Hope’s female rehabilitation centre shares the same feeling.
 
“We at rehab centres have realised that there is absolutely no rehabilitation without reconnection. Reconnecting to Allah is the cornerstone of rehabilitation firstly. Secondly, prevention is obviously much better than cure so let us stay connected to Allah and InshaAllah we will not reach the stage where we will need to be rehabilitated from substance abuse.” said Maulana Limbada.
 
Drugs have become an acceptable part of our society. Television, probably the most captivating form of media next to music, glorifies drugs. The glorification of drug taking and society’s acceptance of it has brought it to the phenomena where the majority of youth feel they need some sort of enhancement or additive in their lives.
 
“Sober has become boring. Society perceives it to be boring. We are witnessing this.” 
 
Despite drug addiction being able to infest during youth, it is still possible to conceal the addiction especially from close family and friends. The dirty secret is often only exposed after years of marriage and many other lives are grievously affected.
 
“Today we call it designer drugs, designed by shaytaan. Many of my patients have high profile jobs in many institutions… Today, it’s absolutely concealed. In many cases families who find out their children are taking drugs are concealing it from the rest of the family and successfully for a long while. In fact many of the addicts have been able to conceal it from their families. We have reached a stage where we may have to demand drug tests and even aids tests on proposals,” explains Maulana Limbada.
 
Drug addiction in marriages affects the income of the household as money is channelled in the incorrect direction. The need for money often leads to theft and the stress of not being able to obtain drugs leads to domestic abuse. Ultimately the upbringing of innocent children is sadly affected.
 
The fundamental principles of Islam protect us against all the evil we are presently faced with.
 
There is really only One Saviour and one direction that can prevent people from these calamities and that is to hold on to and to practice the beautiful Deen of Islam and be steadfast in it.
 
“Those who are afflicted with this evil, Allah Ta’ala is waiting for you to make taubah and to repent. Allah is waiting for you to reconstruct your life. Those who repent sincerely for the love and the sake of Allah, then Allah the Almighty will turn their bad deeds on the Day of Judgement into good deeds provided they turned to Allah sincerely and never returned to those vices.”
 
Bint Ahmed - Cii Radio
 

Jamiatul Ulama (KZN)
Council of Muslim Theologians

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