ummtaalib

The Fiqh and Wisdom of observing ʻIddah By Mufti ʻAbd al-Qādir Ḥusayn In the dictionary the word Iddah means counting in terms of quantity. But for all intents and purposes Iddah in the context of when a husband has divorced his wife or when a husband has passed on – according to the jurists and fuqaha – will mean the lady has to observe Iddah. The waiting period until the counting period ends. The Iddah for a divorced lady: Whenever clarity on any issue is sought, the first point of reference is the Noble Quran. All Mighty Allah SWT states: the ladies who have been divorced will wait with themselves for three qurooh. Because the Arabic language is so unique and rich, certain words have two opposite meanings. In the Hanafi and Hanbali madhabs, when the husband divorces his wife by giving one or two or three talaqs, the Iddah will be the duration of three menses. So the ideal situation will be for the husband to divorce his wife in the period of cleanliness and in that period he has not fulfilled the conjugal rights with his wife, he issues the talaq either verbally or in writing. After the third menses ends, the Iddah has concluded. However another meaning of qurooh is tuhur which means cleanliness theretofore according to the Maliki and Shafi madhabs three periods of cleanliness have to pass. That is if a husband gave his wife talaq during her period of cleanliness, her Iddah begins, counting that period as the first period of cleanliness. Once the third period of cleanliness ends, the Iddah has concluded. The reason for differences of opinion in verdict between the different schools of thought is because Arabic words have different meanings and to understand this text and context need to be looked at. Another interesting issue connected to this: a husband has married his wife but he has not gone into Khalwah (privacy) with her and they have not consummated their marriage, and just after the nikah they have a heated argument in the presence of some people and the husband issues talaq. All Mighty Allah has addressed this issue also, “O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no iddah (divorce prescribed period) have you to count in respect of them. So give them a present, and set them free (i.e. divorce), in a handsome manner.” (Al-Ahzab-49) Immediately after the divorce the woman is able to marry another man. It is important to note that even if the marriage was not consummate but the married couple were alone, in privacy together, and then Iddah becomes necessary. The Iddah for a lady who is pregnant and given talaq: Whenever a lady is pregnant and the husband passes away or the husband issues a talaq or a fasakh takes place then: When the husband passes away – the woman becomes a widow. When the husband issues a talaq – the woman becomes a divorcee. When fasakh takes place – fasakh means that the husband is oppressing the wife, and he does not maintain and sustain her, give her food, shelter, clothing, and he wants her to work, he could be assaulting her, and he refuses to divorce her because of ignorance and arrogance, the woman seeks assistance from Ulama or other scholars, a court case is held, he is found guilty and the marriage is annulled. In all these cases –once the woman gives birth, irrespective of the time from which either death of the husband takes place, divorce was issued or annulment given, her Iddah expires. Iddah for a widow: There are three different scenarios in the case when a woman’s husband passes away. The Quraan Kareem addresses this issue and says that it is a period of four months and ten days. Example if a woman’s husband passes away on the 28th Rabbi ul Awwal or February 1, the counting of 130 days will begin from the day of death on either the Gregorian or Islamic calendar. However the fuqaha and jurists note: if a woman’s husband passes away on the beginning of the Islamic lunar month, the first of any of these months, in these cases one will take into consideration the months and the days Islamically. For example if the death occurred on Ramadaan 1, then Ramadaan, Shawwaal, Dhul Qadah and Dhul Hijjah and ten days of Muharram form part of the Iddah period. After the 10th of Muharram the Iddah is then complete. Therefore months and days are taken into consideration when death occurs on the first of an Islamic lunar month. If the husband passes away and the wife is pregnant Iddah expires after the woman gives birth, irrespective of the time left for birth to take place. The rationale behind Iddah Many people want to know why islam has “imposed” Iddah on the lady and not the man. There is no Iddah upon men. When a man’s wife passes away he doesn’t have a waiting period. There are multiple reasons why a woman has to sit in Iddah when her husband passes away or when she is divorced. When the wife has been divorced, it might be the first talaq or the second, there is still room for reconciliation and reconciliation is the best. The Quran encourages the husband, “take back your wife but with equity and justice,” not to cause her harm. The first rationale is that if one or two talaqs have only been given the marriage can still be salvaged. During the Iddah differences can be resolved and there is room for reconciliation to take place. In the Iddah a new nikah does not need to be performed. The two people are still able to reconcile after the Iddah has expired but a new nikah then has to be performed, this is after one or two talaqs have been given. Sometimes it occurs that after a woman’s husband passes away or she has been divorced that she learns she is pregnant. A woman must first deliver her baby as she cannot before she can enter a marriage with a man while carrying another man’s child. Islam says this institution of marriage is so sacrosanct that it is in this world and will continue in the year after. The dichotomy is that while specific people in this world perform the nikah, there Allah SWT performs the nikah. To maintain and retain the sanctity of nikah, Allah says that when nikah takes place Iddah must take place when it ends. It proves that marriage is not a play thing, where one can be married to different people at any time. Being able to enter and leave a marriage at any time undermines the sanctity and importance of marriage. When a woman’s husband passes away or she has been given a divorce, it is the husband’s right upon the woman that she sits in Iddah. When she wants to resettle she will need time and not be caught on the rebound and manipulated to enter another marriage during a moment of difficulty. Rules of Iddah: The rules differ slightly in different cases: When a husband gives his wife one or two revocable divorces, according to all scholars, the husband has to provide his wife with shelter, food and clothing. The woman has to stay in the house of her husband after the first or second talaq. She should adorn or beautify herself and try to rebuild the marriage. There is room for reconciliation. When a husband gives his wife three talaqs, the Iddah will be according to the three qurooh as explained above. According to the Hanafi madhab, the husband has to provide the woman with shelter and food etc. The Shafi madhab states the husband has to only provide the woman with shelter and nothing else in this case. In the Hanbali madhab the husband does not have to provide the wife with either of these, shelter or maintenance during the Iddah. During her Iddah the woman is not able to adorn herself, and it must be looked at as a sad time because a marriage has just been totally broken. There is no room for reconciliation because three talaqs have been issued. Going out to work during Iddah: If the husband issues the talaq there is no need for the woman to work when the husband is responsible. Islamically she must be aware that the husband is responsible for maintenance during the Iddah period. After the Iddah has expired the husband is no longer responsible for maintenance. When a woman’s husband passes away, the inheritance a woman receives should maintain and sustain her or the woman’s children (sons) should be responsible. The affluent community is able to provide the woman with zakaah during her Iddah period. There are isolated cases when a woman is given permission to work during the Iddah period but in most circumstances permission is not given for the woman to work during the Iddah period because there are other alternatives. If a woman does not observe Iddah correctly either after divorce or after death then she is guilty of a major sin. All the loopholes used to try and justify are unacceptable and regarded as feeble excuses. If a woman marries someone while she is in Iddah either after divorce or after death, the nikah is null and void and is unaccepted, according to all four madhabs . The man and woman are regarded as living in sin. If a husband issues a diivorce, a suitor is able to approach the woman who has been issued the divorce – through his mother or sisters etc – and speak about marriage implicitly and not in a direct manner. ciibroadcasting.com

Be a Mirror to Other Believers Submitted by Mohammed Desai on The Hadith states, المؤمن مراٰة المومن A Mu’min is a mirror unto another Mu’min When a person looks into the mirror, it informs him of all his faults. It reflects the dirt that is on the face, in the nose, in the beard, etc. but the mirror doesn’t tell another of these faults. This is exactly how a Mu’min should behave with a fellow Mu’min. We act contrary to this, on finding a fault with a person we inform the entire world but the person, thus he is never notified about the problem. A person possessing Imaani brotherhood will inform his Muslim brother if he happens to detect some fault within him, and the brother that is corrected should thank the person that informed him. Alhamdulillah, this quality is found in our students at the Madrasah that lead the Salaah or call out the Adhaan. Whenever, we find some error in their Salaah or Adhaan, we inform them in a manner that does not offend them and they respond by saying ‘Jazakallahu Khairan.’ If they are not corrected they will continue with their habit through their lives. Another quality of the mirror, it does not exaggerate things. It informs you of things exactly as they are. If a person asks another, “How was my Bayaan, he will say, it was presented extremely well without any errors.” There were errors that he is aware of, but he downplays it or exaggerates it, whereas this is not the quality of a mirror. This is how a Mu’min should be. When we go for I.D. photos, the picture of the person photographed remains on the screen even after taking the photo. We have to then request them to remove the image particularly if the photo of a woman was taken. The mirror never retains the image and fault of another, but the moment the person moves, the image disappears. A Mu’min also doesn’t tell others that the person before you had various faults in him. A true Mu’min should delete and conceal faults of others as a mirror does. If we know of a fault in a person, we should attempt to built a relationship with him, even though it takes months and thereafter correct him in a kind manner, once he gains your trust and confidence. Bhai Abdul Wahhab Saheb D.B. says, “If someone is of a senior position and you are unable to correct him, then appoint a senior person to correct him. Hadrat Ali R.A. requested permission from Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam to invite his father Abu Talib towards Islam. Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam didn’t permit him as the Dawat of a child won’t hold such importance in the gaze of seniors. When conveying a message, we should choose an appropriate person to convey the message. Nowadays, we open people’s issues and problems before everyone, but we never confront the person involved in the wrong so that he may rectify himself. We should also do the right thing in the correct manner, not in the incorrect manner. Someone stole the horse of a particular person. He was informed that so and so is the thief and has the horse in his yard. He jumped the wall of the thief at night and took his horse. The actual thief now reported him to the police for trespassing and stealing. This teaches us that the right thing must be done in the right way, not in the wrong way. He should have contacted the police first, provided proof that the horse belonged to him and get back his horse. In conclusion, don’t expose the faults of people, rather correct their mistakes in a kind and compassionate manner. Khanqah Akhtari

Fiqh GR4 Lesson 10.pdf

The Power of the Pen Ever since man existed, so too did his pen exist. With the passage of time, the only thing that changed was the form and mechanism of this pen. The fact that this tool of knowledge has stood the test of time is proof of its power. One should never underestimate the impact of the written word. Even in an era like ours, where there are so many innovative ways of capturing knowledge, there is nothing that matches the written word. Some narrations encourage the use of the pen with the following words: ‘Capture knowledge by writing it.’ (Refer: Majma’uz Zawaid, Hadith: 684-686) For the Flag bearers of Islam As flag bearers of Islam, every ‘alim is entrusted with two basic responsibilities; The propagation of the knowledge of Islam. The defense of Islam. Just as the above duties can be fulfilled with the tongue, so too can they be achieved with the pen. Each mode has its benefits. Throughout time, the illustrious scholars of Islam have continuously fulfilled the above duties. It is due to their writings that many are recognised, and highly regarded up to this day; centuries after their demise. Varied Capabilities Allah Ta’ala has created each man differently. For many, He has made it easy to use their tongues in fulfilling the above responsibility, while others find it easier to use their pens, and for some Allah Ta’ala combines the best of both! As students of Islam, we should always aspire for the ideal. Therefore, we are encouraged to utilise both; our tongues as well as our pens for propagating Din. It is through the pen, that we can fashion the generations that will follow. If we give up the pen, we are effectively giving up on the next generation! Unfortunately many have the inculcated the ‘copy and paste trend’. This will weaken our ability to produce our own writings and speeches. We will never know the actual power of our pens, until we give it our first try! Note: The above is an effort to inspire qualified bearers of knowledge to utilise their skill. This should not be used to justify the writings/speeches of the unqualified! al-miftah

Muhammad sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam Our Beloved Nabī Indeed, there is a beautiful example for you in the Messenger of Allāh... (33:21) One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to help them develop love and appreciation for the life of the Messenger of Allāh ta‘ālā. Studying the exemplary sīrah of our beloved Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam is a source of many blessings, one of which is the fostering of good morals and character. A sound knowledge of sīrah is also essential to truly understand Islām and to convey it to others. In this booklet the renowned Islamic scholar and spiritual mentor, Shaykh-ul-Hadīth Shaykh Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh, presents a brief account of the life of our beloved Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. Primarily aimed at children, it can also serve as an introduction to sīrah for people of all ages. To order your copy, please email [email protected] for details. Madrasahs, schools, Islamic societies etc. wishing to purchase in large quantity, may email [email protected] or call 0116 262 5440.

A Simple Yet Effective Solution To Our Current Problems By Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh In the period before the advent of our beloved Messenger sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, the whole world was engulfed in the darkness of ignorance. Humans were uncivilised, morally decadent and devoid of good character. When Allāh ta‘ālā sent the Leader of all the Ambiyā ‘alayhimus salām and the Seal of the Messengers ‘alayhimus salām, Muhammad Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, the entire world was illuminated. By following his example and teachings people of all backgrounds and creeds, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, have achieved great successes throughout the ensuing fourteen centuries. The underlying reason behind success in following his example is that Allāh ta‘ālā created His beloved Rasūl sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam the best in every way. Whenever the Sahābah radhiyallāhu ‘anhum described a particular characteristic of his, they would always qualify it with the superlative it deserved. They described him, for example, as the most generous, the most knowledgeable, the most courageous etc. Their descriptions proclaim quite clearly to all who followed his era that in every praiseworthy trait Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam was ‘The Best’. Even objective non-Muslims, have had no option but to praise the Messenger of Islām sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. George Bernard Shaw writes: I have studied him – the wonderful man and in my opinion far from being an anti-Christ, he must be called the Saviour of humanity. (The Genuine Islam, Vol 1 No8, 1936) Pandit Gyanandra Dev Sharma Shastri, at a meeting in Gurakhpur, India (1928) said: They (Muhammad’s critics) see fire instead of light, ugliness instead of good. They distort and present every good quality as a great vice. It reflects their own depravity… The critics are blind. They cannot see that the only ‘sword’ Muhammad wielded was the sword of Mercy, Compassion, Friendship, and Forgiveness – the sword that conquers enemies and purifies their hearts. His sword was sharper than the sword of steel. Lamartine said: Philosopher, orator, apostle, legislator, warrior, conqueror of ideas, restorer of rational doctrines, of a religion without images; the founder of twenty terrestrial empires and of one spiritual empire, that is Muhammad. As regards all standards by which human greatness may be measured, we may well ask, is there any man greater than he? (Histoire de la Turquie, Vol II, Paris, 1854) A critic, David Samuel Margoliouth, an Oxford University Professor of the early 20th century, wrote a biography of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. He writes in his preface: The biographers of the Prophet Mohammed form a long series which it is impossible to end, but in which it would be honourable to find a place. (Margoliouth, Mohammed and the Rise of Islam, 1905) When Gandhi read the sīrah of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam in two volumes, he commented: When I closed the second volume I was sorry there was not more for me to read of that great life. (Gandhi, Young India, 1924) T he sīrah (life or biography) of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam is full of lessons. It is an ocean that has no shore, meaning the sīrah is never-ending when it comes to deriving lessons from it. It is from the miracles of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam that his life has been recorded and preserved in such detail. All credit goes to his beloved Companions radhiyallāhu ‘anhum who recorded this beautiful life with great care and detail to the extent that his humorous statements have also been preserved, and have proven to be an ocean of knowledge. Let us study an example: Anas ibn Mālik radhiyallāhu ‘anhu narrates how Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam would try cheering up his younger brother by saying a little rhyme: O Father of ‘Umayr! What has happened to the nughayr (a type of bird)? (Al-Bukhārī) The small child would be delighted at the rhyme and by the fact that Allāh’s Messenger would call him, a mere toddler, Father of ‘Umayr! This is one small and seemingly insignificant episode from the life of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, but the ‘Ulamā having pondered over this statement of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam were able to deduce over sixty religious precepts from it. Such is the power and depth of a single humorous statement, what can one say about his formal and serious statements! The blessed sīrah is truly a light and full of guidance for all circumstances and situations we may encounter in life. Allāh ta‘ālā says: Indeed, there is a beautiful example for you in the Messenger of Allāh... (33:21) The life and teachings of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam are truly comprehensive that a day will never come when the Muslims will not be able to find a solution through them to any issue they encounter. Guidance can be found in his teachings on every subject matter. And if we follow these beautiful teachings, we will become successful in both worlds. So we need to emulate the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam in all aspects of our lives: ‘aqā’id (beliefs), ‘ibādāt (acts of worship), mu‘āmalāt (dealings and transactions), mu‘āsharāt (social conduct) and akhlāq hasanah (good character). It is unfortunate that many of us have confined Dīn to the first two branches, ‘aqā’id and ‘ibādāt, only. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has warned of destruction for such people. Once Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam asked his Sahābah: ‘Who is a poor person?’ They replied, ‘A poor person amongst us is he who has neither dirham nor wealth.’ Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said, ‘The poor person in my Ummah will be one who will come on the Day of Judgement with his salāh, sawm and zakāh; however, he swore at someone, accused someone, unlawfully consumed the wealth of someone, killed someone and hurt someone, then his good deeds will be given to his victims. And if his good deeds are exhausted but the compensation of his victims remain, then their sins will be taken and entered in his account and he will be thrown in the hell-fire.’ (Muslim) In addition to protecting our good deeds, the practice of mu‘āmalāt, mu‘āsharāt and akhlāq hasanah presents the beauty of our Dīn to the whole of humanity, as they predominantly relate to social interaction. The life of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam and of those who followed him to the highest degree, contain numerous episodes of winning the hearts of people, through practically demonstrating these branches of Dīn. If we strive to make our lives fully in accordance with the teachings of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam and emulate him in every way, then we will become the beloved of Allāh ta‘ālā. Say [O Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam], ‘If you really love Allāh, then follow me, and Allāh will love you and forgive you your sins. Allāh is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful.’ (3:31) Once we become His beloved, we will automatically become the beloved of His entire creation. The Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has said: When Allāh ta‘ālā makes a servant His beloved, then Allāh ta‘ālā summons Jibra’īl ‘alayhis salām and says, ‘Indeed, Allāh ta‘ālā loves such a person; you too love him.’ When Jibra’īl ‘alayhis salām hears this command of Allāh ta‘ālā, his heart is infused with love for this person. Such a person is now the beloved of Allāh ta‘ālā and Jibra’īl ‘alayhis salām. Then, Allāh ta‘ālā commands Jibra’īl ‘alayhis salām to address the dwellers of the heavens and say; Indeed, Allāh ta‘ālā loves such a person; you too love him. Upon hearing the command, their hearts too are infused with his love. Then this person is granted acceptance amongst the people on the earth [resulting in everyone entertaining love for him]. (Al-Bukhārī) This is a simple solution to the problems that are blighting the entire world at the moment; in fact, this is the only solution. As Muslims, we should endeavour to adopt the way of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam in every facet of our lives. Our ‘aqā’id (beliefs), ‘ibādāt (acts of worship), mu‘āmalāt (dealings and transactions), mu‘āsharāt (social conduct) and akhlāq hasanah (good character) should all be like that of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. If we desire that the people of the world look at us with love and respect, then we need to resolve to live our lives according to the way of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam so that we become the beloved of Allāh ta‘ālā and as a result become the beloved of the entire creation. Let us resolve today, assess/review our lives and rectify any shortcomings. When our actions completely reflect the teachings of the beloved of Allāh ta‘ālā, then spiritual blessings will become apparent which will resolve all our issues of this world and the Hereafter. This is a very pertinent matter at the current time and needs our utmost attention. If we make a firm resolution to learn the way of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam and act upon it accordingly - whether the action is fard, wājib, sunnah or mustahabb - then success awaits. © Riyādul Jannah (Vol. 24 No. 1, Jan 2015)

This is a nasheed in Urdu Words of a nasheed sung by Junaid Jamshed ra which was in essence a du'a, have been changed into a du'a for him asking Allah subhaanahu wata'ala to accept his efforts and forgive him

His message was something different. He wanted us to live a life that Allah had prescribed. He wanted us to model ourselves after our Beloved Prophet (saw). Remembering Junaid Jamshed... Aatir Abdul Rauf | Facebook I feel alone today. I don't know how to express the sadness inside me. Words don't seem enough to me. But that's all I have. I guess words will have to do. The shock waves of the news regarding the plane that took lives of 40 are far from settled. I’m in denial. The nation stands speechless as it lost its voice. A voice that carried us through one generation to another, weaving through every segment of society, through times of distress and times of joy. I don't know why I feel this sad. It's strange. I don't know how to explain it. I didn't have intimate ties with Junaid. I didn't know him personally well enough. He wasn't related to me in any way. But why do I still feel a piece of me was ripped out of me without warning? It hurts. It really, really does. I thought I had it under control. I was going to be a man about this. But every time I heard the news throughout the day, it would hurt a little more. My heart would sink deeper. My heart would flinch. My body would cringe. I knew something was wrong. My heart was trying to tell me something but I decided to ignore it. I didn't want to give to its desires. Death happens, right? It's the universal constant. Finally, when I got up for Isha prayers, I understood what my heart was asking me to do. It just wanted me to shed my tears alone. I cried hiding my tears in the water of the wudu that I had chosen not to dry off. And I cried hard. I don't know why. I didn't even know Junaid Jamshed that well. But why does it seem like I lost a lifelong companion that I've taken for granted for so long? I tried remembering Junaid Jamshed in my memories. I personally met Junaid Jamshed for the first time at Hajj back in 2011. My brother and I were planning for our first pilgrimage and had enrolled in the Hajj group that JJ sponsors. The experience was nothing short of amazing. Every person managing the logistics was intensely committed to serve the members of the group and it was a reflection of what Junaid Jamshed stood for. Maulana Tariq Jameel and Junaid Jamshed were travelling with the group and would often grant the group time after each prayer. Maulana Tariq would share words of impeccable wisdom, while Junaid did what he did best. He would move hearts by presenting us a collection of thoughtful nasheeds that left us mesmerized. To hear them in person was something different. Why? Because he didn't just perform nasheeds for the sake of it. Up close, you could see how he put his entire existence behind every word he uttered. He packed it with heavy emotions. He meant every word he said. And most importantly, he made you feel the same way. At Mina, after he had talked to swarms of fans at our camp, my brother and I took the opportunity to sit with Junaid keen to hear something inspirational from him. He didn't say much as he was clearly exhausted with the various conversations he had been having for hours. Few hours later, right before my brother and I were about to perform the ritual of "stoning the devil", Junaid made his way through the crowds and called out to us. We turned around and Junaid stood in front of us, told us how he didn't know what to say earlier but felt like he owed us some advice. He told us how momentous this occasion of Hajj was and we should take it as an opportunity to change for the better moving forward. Truth is, he didn't owe us a single thing. But he wanted to give back. And he always did - at all levels. That was the sincerity of this man. Later on in Mecca, my brother and I got lucky as our hotel room was on the same floor as both Junaid Jamshed and Maulana Tariq Jameel. We would often say salaam while crossing paths in the elevator down to offer the prayers at the Haram. It felt great to see his smiling face and greet him with his firm, warm handshake. But that interaction is not the basis of why I'm sad. I'm sure that's not the reason. My perception of Junaid Jamshed was not made through those interactions at Hajj. Something else was bothering me. He represented something larger than that. He was an immortal constant in many people’s lives. He was there in my childhood as he swept the nation with patriotic tunes that rivaled the national anthem. His voice was there in my teen years as I grappled with the challenges of adolescence. He was there when I had to look up to someone when I wanted to transform my personal life to be closer to Islam. He was there when I had to share examples of how it's not impossible to change no matter what your circumstances are. He was there when I needed to listen to a voice that would heighten my spirit and melt my heart. I lost that "constant" yesterday. It's like losing a limb that you never thought you would live without. Even if it's a tiny finger, the whole body hurts uncontrollably. It's a sick feeling. But it's also a grim reminder. We go on and on and on planning our lives. We try to project our future and think about where we want to be in 5 or 7 or 10 years. We talk about Career Growth. We talk about savings. But it's events like these that abruptly ground us to the reality of how transient this life really is. We don't even know whether we will last another breath. I sometimes get so consumed about my future that I forget about making the present right. I forget about reflecting on my past. It reminds me of this profound Ayah: The question to ask is “Are we prepared to return to Him right now?”. No one has received a ticket to live a certain number of years. There is no guarantee. Every soul edges closer to his/her eventual demise every second. And we have no idea whether that day is a week away, years away or just moments away. Are we satisfied with the state of the relations we keep? Do we need to apologize to someone? Do we need to tell someone how much we love them? I just realized that there are no second chances. I might as well do it now. Yes. Now. Our society for long has remained polarized in terms of beliefs and lifestyle. You will find free-thinking liberals and traditional conservatives living in the same neighborhood. The chasm between the two ends is a difficult one to bridge. And if anyone did manage to cross that bridge and win acceptance on both sides, it was Junaid Jamshed. In the 90's, JJ rose to fame and Vital Signs was hailed as pioneers of the Pakistan's pop world. He touched the lives of his peers and thrilled fans all around the world. He became the national expression of Pakistanis and was thought to be synonymous to patriotism. He set the country ablaze with inspiration time and again. He had won hearts of millions. When he took the turn towards religion and launched his first Nasheed album in 2005, he reached out to a different audience that he had not connected with before: the significant other half. Lots of people were skeptical at first. He was ridiculed and he was trolled. But that didn't stop "Jalwa-e-Jana", "Medina Medina", "Dil Badal De" and "Haram kee Muqaddas Hawaoon" from hitting a sensitive chord that we didn't even know existed. He went out to preach Islam, sometimes to decrepit far-flung locations, calling one person at a time. He sacrificed the glamour he had worked so hard to garner and submitted to a task that he believed was his ultimate raison d'etre. Slowly and steadily, his actions spoke louder than words, and devout Muslims all over the country dropped their suspicious guard and finally accepted him. He had won their hearts as well. He had done the unthinkable. He had crossed the chasm and won at both ends. But what's amazing to me is that despite him switching his focus, he still retained the respect of his colleagues and friends of yesteryear. He didn't abandon them. He didn’t just turn his back on them as if he didn't know them. He continued to cherish those relationships and only strengthen those bonds. He called upon his old friends to work with him on the path of Allah. And he reciprocated by giving them company to share old time memories. And that's what he symbolized: unity. That's what made the nation breathe. He was the glue between the broken pieces of Pakistan's puzzle. And now that that glue is gone, I'm feeling like I've lost part of my identity. He was left bankrupt after he gave up his music life. But he had staunch conviction that Allah would not let his sacrifice go unrewarded. He launched his clothing line and within the space of years, it skyrocketed to immense success. The business grew unimaginably quickly and etched Junaid's name on the slate of entrepreneurial stardom. He led the way to show how leading a life for Islam doesn't mean you can't be successful professionally. Those two things are not antithetical to each other. He showed that "Maulvis" aren't starving anywhere or living off pitiful donations. My personal journey in life left me conflicted and JJ seemed to be an sub-conscious source of inspiration. Leading a fairly liberal life in my childhood/teens, I found myself gravitating to the message of simplicity of Islam in my late 20s. I felt torn between two different forces. The transition to leading a more conservative life was not easy. And I looked up to Junaid Jamshed in that respect. He showed me that you don't need to think of it as a suffering, but rather a blessing. You don't need to burn bridges, but that this opportunity was to build new ones. His story told me that my transformative experience was not an end, rather it was just the beginning. As Mosharraf Zaidi mentioned in his tweet, he truly was the quintessential Pakistani: "Junaid Jamshed's journey was so quintessentially Pakistani. Conflicted, passionate, devoted, ubersmart, and so, so talented. Tragic loss." I've been pacing around my house since yesterday. It hurts. My heart aches. My eyes tear up. Why do I feel so much sorrow? Am I over-reacting? I'm confused. I feel alone. I felt for his children. Losing your parents completely crushes you. But losing your parents to an unthinkable tragedy like this delivers unbearable shock that no mortal can handle. It's like someone ripping out your heart through your throat. My wife told me that it reminded her of when she lost both her parents during 2005's earthquake in the Margalla Tower collapse. The ground had escaped her when she saw the fallen tower on her way back from college. She was left shattered, alone, hopeless, confused, abandoned. The world had gone pitch dark. There were no second chances. There were no goodbyes exchanged. There was no last "I love you". There was no time to apologize for the hurt caused to them. There was no closure. To this day, she feels wounded. I hugged my little one a little tighter today. While he played around with his toys, I felt terribly odd how an innocent little child like him had no idea how grim the realities of life can be. I wanted him to retain that innocence and prayed that Allah protect us from every tragedy. I've stopped following the news. I can't bear when somebody puts up his nasheed now. My heart swells with sadness when I know that I won't be hearing that voice again. But when I see what's being aired about him, I ask myself. Is that how he wanted us to remember him? His message was something different. He wanted us to live a life that Allah had prescribed. He wanted us to model ourselves after our Beloved Prophet (saw). People were quick in pointing out the gravity of the mistakes he made during his sermons last year. I see that. But I also see a man who begged for forgiveness. To the entire nation. How many of us are willing to go through that? In a world full of unapologetic, pompous liars, JJ set a different standard. We make mistakes every day in our private lives. We say the most vile things to one another. We don't have people chasing us because we don't have cameras pointing at us to record the deed. Yet we have the audacity to continue to shame a person who has already sincerely apologized to us with. We didn't leave the matter for Allah to decide. We should learn from this. JJ left with a clean heart, whereas we still carry perpetual grudges and hate in ours. His message was of unity. In one of his tweets he mentioned how it was better to lose the argument and win the person. That's what defined him. It wasn't about money, fame or glamour. It was about the joy of being together on the path of eternal prosperity. He didn't want to just succeed himself. He wanted everyone to win. JJ left a legacy that cannot be replaced. May Allah be raazi with you, Junaid Jamshed, and with every passenger on that unfortunate plane. May Allah forgive them all. I also congratulate you, Junaid Jamshed, for securing a place among the ranks of shuhadah (martyrs). It’s not an easy feat to achieve in this era. In some ways, it feels that this is the appropriate rank that Allah wanted to grant you after all the adversities you faced. Your life was like a person trying to wake up a dear friend from deep sleep. You kept jolting us with your voice. You kept reminding us with your words. You were patient with us while we enjoyed our slumber and when we’d push you away calling you names. We would, at times, wake up for a bit but then we’d go back to sleep. But then this happened. You chose to lay a proverbial mic drop on us. The sound of which was so loud that it rocked us to our core. And now we’re wide awake. But you’re no longer there. Well played. Junaid Jamshed, you gave us love and didn't expect anything back. You taught me how to never give up. I wish we had time to say goodbye. But that is the Will of Allah, the Magnificent, the Master of all Worlds, the Merciful and Beneficient. To Him we belong. To Him we shall return. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajeoon. InshaAllah, we all hope to meet you in Jannah, Junaid Jamshed. Perhaps you will grant us another opportunity to listen to one of your nasheeds there. Every soul shall taste death....The question to ask is “Are we prepared to return to Him right now?”

In light of recent events highlighting domestic violence in our ummah, there is an unspoken casualty in the war of domestic violence. Abusive spouses may also be abusive parents. Furthermore, an abused spouse may in turn lash out and abuse the children from all the built up frustration and anger within the marriage. This is is how it was in my home. The bad beginning Although pictures speak a thousand words, our family photos never spoke the truth of what went on behind closed doors. Our house had been built with sturdy walls, but our home lacked a true and strong foundation of love. Both of my parents immigrated to the United States and, like most immigrants, brought along their cultural baggage and mindset. Although I will never know objectively how their marriage was in the beginning, according to my mother my father was verbally and physically abusive towards her. Growing up, I watched my parents fight with such passion and intensity that I am surprised, but thankful, that neither of them killed the other (although my mother did threaten my father with various sharp objects during some of their disputes). Nasty words were tossed back and forth like a tennis match, each one trying to beat the other at the vicious game. Sometimes my siblings and I would stand up for our mother, resulting in our father telling us to shut up and stay out of it, even retaliating against us. My parents' disputes could and would start over anything and everything, although money and invalidating of feelings were two strong sparks. My mother believed divorce was not an option because she could not work and support all of us herself. My father did divorce my mother once in a fit of anger, but then asked for her back. He told me he loved my mother and would never want to divorce her as this would break our family apart. Despite the illusion that our family is together, it is broken. This was the marriage upon which our family was built. Children were brought into this environment because, like many people, my parents never questioned their ability to be good role models nor pondered the responsibility that came with having kids. In fact, it's a rite of passage – school, marriage and then children – and there is no question or deviation from this. As you might imagine, it was not a nurturing nor loving atmosphere to grow up in. Before we were old enough to understand or defend ourselves, we were thrown into the battlefield and became targets of violence and psychological warfare Faces behind the masks People are often shocked when they learn about a domestic violence case, when they discover a person's true nature and their hidden actions within the confines of their house. The truth is, looks can be deceiving and there is no way to distinguish someone who is abusive from one who is not by their outward appearance. Usually, the only ones who know the real faces behind the masks are those being abused and anyone the victims choose to tell. There are no tell-tale signs of abusive parents, dysfunctional families or “victims” of abuse. My parents are practicing Muslims who frequent Islamic events and outwardly show their devotion to Islam. My father prays Jumuah and both Fajr and Isha in the masjid. My mother watches religious programs, wears hijab, goes to Umrah whenever she can and is well known and well loved in our community. Our family spends Eid together, goes out to dinner together and even laughs together. We visit other families and other families visit us. None of us children are anti-social deviants; we all have friends and are active participants in society. We are all highly educated, having all graduated from college and some of us graduate school. While outwardly we all seemed “normal”, as is typical of dysfunctional families, each on of us children had our “adapted roles”. Mine was that of the lost child, the one who stayed out of trouble and was mostly overlooked and ignored. Unlike my siblings who rebelled in their own ways and at different times of their lives, I remained a “straight-edge” Muslim. I never drank, smoked, did drugs, had friends of the opposite gender or premarital relationships. I earned good grades, never hung out with “the wrong crowd and, even if I argued it, I never stayed out past my curfew. As hard as I tried to be good, I was never good enough. My parents treated me differently based on their moods. My father's emotions vacillated between extreme highs (happiness, giddiness, etc) and extreme lows (seclusion, aggression, verbal abuse). He was never big on words of love or kindness, and the primary way he supported us was financially. He never really talked to us except to blame us for something or to insult us. When he was in a jovial mood, he would smile, sing and encouraged me to smile and be happy. To show how fluctuating his mood was, one time he hit me so hard and so many times with a slipper, it broke. Almost immediately after this, he joked that I would now have to buy him a new one. There were at least three times that his violence left marks on my face, leaving me to face the public with signs of his rage. If I was asked about what happened, I fabricated something about hurting myself. My mother scared me that from ever telling the truth, saying that the police would come arrest my father and take us away, creating a scandal in our family. I was also too ashamed to admit to anyone, even my closest friends, that my father physically abused me; I wanted to be a normal child with normal parents, not a victim to be pitied. While my father was a raging bull, my mother was a wolf in sheep's clothing, hiding her abuse amidst kindness and affection. She was the “savior” against my father and had a very generous, sweet and giving demeanor when she was in a proper mood. I will not deny that she did many wonderful things for me and in fact, when she was nice, it was great to be with her. But, in a Jekyll/Hyde or Bruce Banner/Hulk fashion, when she unleashed her anger, it was explosive rage. Although she never hit me, I was a figurative punching bag on which she used insults, humiliation and expressions of anger instead of kicks and punches. Despite “keeping my nose clean”, my mother still found reasons to unleash her anger at me. One day, after spending time with a known and trusted friend, I came home to hear my mother telling my father how I was trying to be rebellious like my siblings. It was between 10:30 and 11:00 pm, a time which I had come home before without any repercussions and for someone in their late 20's, was not an “unGodly time” to come home at. When she heard me coming, she burst out of the front door without her hijab on, screaming at me that I was no longer her child, disowning me until the Day of Judgment and that she would put this in writing and send it to several Shuyukh. She also locked the door and told my father not to let me in. Even if I was out doing evil things, I didn't deserve that. No one does. Because this was my mother and because this behavior was common and accepted in our family and my parents' culture, I didn't see just how abnormal this was. Actions like these were always excused with “She was mad because…” or “Well you shouldn't/should have done…”. I felt too hurt, hated and even partly responsible for her actions to be able to see how abusive she was. I felt that if if somehow, if I had been a better child, she wouldn't have done or said that. I now see I could not control her behavior, only she could. It was traumatic to see her behave in such a way and hurt to be the target of such horrible comments, and this is only one example of her pain-inducing words and actions. She teetered between kind and caring woman to a cruel and vicious woman. She would praise my siblings and I to her friends one minute and then say how she wished she would die so she wouldn't see our faces again, that death was better for her than life with us. I couldn't tell if she loved or hated me, if I was good or bad. I cannot explain to you the confusion or the pain that I went through, only that I am glad I finally see the truth for what it is. Like other abusers, my parents wanted to exert their control over us. They yelled at me for being sad and for having individuality. Having autonomy was not allowed and success was simultaneously encouraged and deflated (sometimes by the same parent). My mother wanted us do to everything her way – from how we looked, how we dressed, what majors we chose, who we married, even what we named our children – and criticized us incessantly when we didn't follow. My father tried to “straighten us out” through physical and verbal assaults when we spoke up for ourselves or didn't do things exactly as he wanted. Imams and Shuyukh of Sunday school, Islamic lectures and Friday khutbahs told me constantly that parents deserved our utmost respect and unyielding obedience. And because they had heard the same lectures, my parents demanded this as well. It is a fact of life that children, more or less, emulate their parents' behavior. Thus, through their actions, my parents taught me how to be defiant, angry, hateful, spiteful, resentful, disrespectful and aggressive, and simultaneously punished me for expressing these emotions and behaviors. This created a tug of war in my head, between wishing that someone would say I had the right to be treated kindly and believing that I was being rightfully punished for being a bad child. No one ever spoke of children's rights or obligations of parents, so it was the latter that always won. The ill effects of abuse Growing up with abusive parents took a heavy and serious toll on me. From my childhood and even until now, the abuse has affected me in several facets of my life, mentally, physically and spiritually. I suffered from low self-esteem and had problems in my health and relationships, even with Allah. The abuse has affected my family as well – emotional problems, jealousy and spitefulness between siblings and emotionally incestuous relationships between parent and child developed – although they still choose to deny it. Effects on… …self-esteem and self-perception In my ignorance and in response to the turmoil, I experienced extreme self-loathing and hated my life growing up. Parents are said to be a mirror of their children, and since my parents had plenty of negative things to say, I could only see myself as a terrible person. How could I love myself when my own parents, the people who brought me into this world and who were supposed to love me unconditionally, did not? Even if they told me they loved me (which they did not), they didn't know how to show me they loved me. I felt hated as my father chased me in order to physically punish me and pointed out all my faults. My mother told me often how I was just like my father, whom I knew she carried a great disdain for. She grouped us both along with one of my siblings in the “bad guys” category. I felt there was something truly wrong with me, that I was just an awful person who didn't deserve to be loved. I wanted to disappear from the world thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I was gone, someone would miss me and want me back…then I would finally feel loved and wanted. I felt like a burden on my family who would be better off without me. I hated being me which anyone reading this might understand how that could be. Only Allah heard me as I apologized for being such a bad child. …relationship with the family I wanted Allah to love me, I wanted to obey Him by being kind to and obeying my parents. Despite the fact that my father physically and verbally abused me, I still tried to be good to him. But, thanks in part to my mother's comments about him, at some point in my life, my innocent childish love for my father changed to hate. I despised every single thing about him – how he ate, how he walked, how he talked. I hated that he still asked for and expected hugs and kisses from me even after the mean things he said and did to me. My mother perpetuated this idea in the way she fought with him; it always looked like he was the aggressor and she the victim. The well-known hadith that one's mother is more deserving of love and respect than one's father encouraged me to put all my energy into loving and obeying her as best I could. Because she was the one who comforted me after my father attacked me and defended me against him, standing up for me, she was the only source of comfort for me. Thus, I attached myself in an unhealthy manner to her and we became enmeshed; when she was happy I was happy and when she was mad or sad, I couldn't have a good time. I tried with all my power to make her happy and to make her pleased with me. It was because of this intense codependency that I have such a challenge in healing from her infliction; I gave her my all and she rejected, depreciated and destroyed it. The dysfunction permeated beyond our parents' relationships with each other or with me. My siblings and I have an uneasy relationship with each other that is affected, one way or another, by one or both parents. For example, one sibling cut ties with the other because of issues the other had with our mother. Another still believes our father to be a good father and pushes me to do things such as wish him a happy birthday or take him out for Father's Day. One sibling and I butted heads because they labeled me the abuser, claiming my mother's harshness and nonacceptance of my good deeds was in response to my antagonism. …relationship with Allah Because our relationship was borne out of blood and mentioned several times in the Qur'an, one of the favorite weapons that my mother used to validate her stance was religion. Similar to how abusive men misuse verses from the Qur'an, my mother misused the verses regarding treatment of parents, telling me how Allah would punish me and that if she were to die displeased with me I would be damned to Hell for all eternity. I was told several times that I had no iman in my heart, that I only do things out of fear of Allah's punishment and that if I were a true mu'min, I would not be so rude with my parents. When bad things would happen to me, she told me that Allah was angry with me and punished me for what I had done. I believed it. While we all doubt whether we are good enough in the sight of Allah, whether our deeds will be accepted or whether we are sincere, my mother spiritually abused me so intensely that I doubted if Allah even loved me. I thought “How could Allah love someone like me, someone who was so insolent and hated by their parents?” I asked Allah to forgive me for being such an insolent person and for being so bad to my parents. Today, I acknowledge that this was projection of her own feelings of herself, but the pain of hearing that come from my mother was extreme. …relationship with the community The shame and guilt I felt affected not only my relationship with myself and my Lord, but how I was with the community. For one, I felt as if I was wearing a scarlet letter “V” for being a victim of domestic violence. Although no one knew, I felt I was different and that no one would understand what I was going through. Other people had seemingly good relationships with their parents and had parents who were apparently loving and kind. I did not know for sure if this was true, but no one talked about it and neither did I. I felt isolated in my community. I didn't have anyone to talk to and didn't know if anyone cared or would even believe me about what was going on in my house if I told them. With my parents being such upstanding members of the community, it would be hard to convince someone that they were actually unkind and unfit parents. Another issue was the hypocrisy I felt. I was an outwardly practicing Muslim who went to MSA meetings, and treated people with as much kindness as I could. People enjoyed my company and liked me. But as I looked into the mirror that was my parents' eyes, I believed this was only because no one, except my parents, knew the real me. In fact, my mother told me that I was so nice to the people outside my house while being so ill-mannered to those in my home. At the time, I didn't believe she would say something that wasn't true, especially something so hurtful. Like most children, I thought the best of her and the worst of myself and with the community loving her as well, I took her guilty verdict to heart. …on marriage As abused children grow older, they too may choose to marry and have children of their own. No one will deny that when you marry someone, you marry their family. When you marry their family, you also marry their problems and toxicity. When these issues are not addressed or acknowledged, they cannot be resolved. They seep into the core of the marriage, into the hearts of the individuals. It affects how they deal with each other and ultimately how they deal with their children. People joke about the “evil in-laws” and make the same comments about treating them with kindness, respect and humility. When the in-laws are abusive and have a skewed view of reality, it is no joke. To avoid disclosing any identifiable details, I will not speak of my own or my siblings' marriages, but will instead refer to a couple that I know who live in an abusive home. The mother/mother-in-law behaves in a similar fashion to my mother, leading me to believe that she also has a mental illness. The husband (her son) believes that to be a good son, he must do anything and everything in his power to please his mother, even though nothing he ever does is good enough in her eyes. She, too, uses Islam's emphasis on serving parents as a means to get her way. She speaks nastily to both her son and daughter-in-law, both of whom feel the detrimental effects of living with an unstable and abusive person. Both are victims of abuse and do their utmost to please their perpetrator. For example, after a day of cleaning the house in hopes of pleasing her, she made a comment about how dirty the TV was, saying how she would never have kept her house in this shape. Even though the wife recognizes the abusive behavior of her mother-in-law, she does not know what to do or how to act. Her husband believes his mother needs to be obeyed and feels powerless to say or do anything to stand up for himself or his family. There are young children in this marriage who will, unless something changes, grow up seeing their parents treated harshly and possibly be treated in a similar manner themselves. This article was written anonymously and submitted through Salma Elkadi Abugideiri, a Licensed Professional Counselor Taken from muslimmatters.org

“The child is a tape recorder, a computer, a camera ... It will play back whatever it records. So give the child the best in upbringing.” - Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh)

Embalming And Moving A Body After Death Hanafi Fiqh > Qibla.com Answered by Shaykh Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf Mangera My grandmother is very ill and we’re considering options for her burial. She wants to be buried in New York (her plot is there), but she’s currently in another state that’s far away from there. In order to get her back to NY, in the case of her death she has to be embalmed by law. What is the ruling on this situation? Answer: Assalamu alaykum In the name of Allah the Inspirer of truth There are a number of problems linked with burying a person so far away. Firstly it is considered extremely disliked (makruh tahrimi) to transfer a deceased person from one area to another for burial unless it is just a mile or two (Radd al-Muhtar 1:602, 5:275) [AR. or further to the closest Muslim graveyard]. This is the opinion related from Imam Muhammad al-Shaybani and highlighted by Ibn Nujaym, Ibn ‘Abidin, Tahtawi, and others. Second, transferring the body causes unnecessary delay in the burial process which has been advised against in the hadiths. Thereafter, the process of embalming is problematic in Islam for a number of reasons. One is that it requires some incisions to be made on the body of the deceased (which is considered disrespectful) and the removal of the blood from it, replacing it with a formaldehyde based fluid. The embalming fluid is traditionally made from formaldehyde (5 to 29 percent), methanol, ethanol (9 to 56) and other solvents. Hence, the fluid is made up of impure substances which go with the deceased into the grave. Islamic law instructs us to purify the deceased by bathing it, perfuming it, and shrouding it in white, etc. To conclude, it is severely disliked to transport her over a mile or two and the embalming is unlawful. However, if she is in a condition to travel then there would be no problem with having her transferred to New York while she is alive. And Allah knows best. Wassalam Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf

Making a bequest to take the deceased back to his homeland Q1. Is it compulsory to bury the dead as soon as possible or can you comply with the deceased WILL to be buried abroad. Q2. What should be done to the money the deceased left for the arrangement to send the body abroad, if it is not sent abroad? In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful. Answer There are differences of opinions regarding the distance allowed to take the deceased from one place to another. One view is 48 miles whilst another is one or two miles. Anything above that is Makruh Tahrimi. (Raddul Muhtar p.146 v.3) It is not permissible for a dying person to make a bequest of transporting his body to another country; therefore, it would not be permissible to carry out such an order. One should bury the deceased as soon as possible. Saaiduna Abu Hurairah Radiallahu Anhu narrates that the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said, "Speed up the funeral; if it is one of a good person, you are only taking that person to a good prospect. If otherwise, then he is no more than an evil you are putting off your shoulders." (Sahih Bukhari) Saaiduna Abdullah ibn Umar Radiallahu Anhu narrates that the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said, "I heard Allah's Messenger say: When anyone of you dies, do not keep his body. Be speedy when taking him to his grave." (Tabraani) The money which was left should then be distributed amongst the heirs of the deceased. Only Allah Knows Best Mohammed Tosir Miah Darul Ifta Birmingham

Please advise on what one should eat or not eat for pregnancy according to sunnah. Also acts which are recommended or that which one should refrain from during pregnancy. I have heard that the Nabie (SAW) has encouraged the eating of melons when pregnant – Is this sweet melons or water-melons? Answer Jazakallah for the question which you have submitted to the institute. There are many beautiful virtues and rewards for being pregnant. It is mentioned in a hadith that Nabi (salallaahu alayhi wassallam) is reported to have said, ” Does it not please you (O woman) that when you conceive from your husband while he is pleased with you, then that woman will receive such a reward equal to that of a fasting person in the path of Allah Ta’ala and spending the night in ibaadah…..” Eat coconut to reduce vomiting in early pregnancy. Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) recommended that a pregnant lady should eat sweet melons, good pure healthy foods in moderation and dates. Dates should be eaten throughout the pregnancy but especially during the latter part of the pregnancy. Dates are effective for the growth of the foetus, strengthen the muscles of the uterus, help with the dilatation of the uterus during labour and also help reduce bleeding after delivery. Dates also enrich breast milk. Grapefruit is a cure for all illness and also assists with milk production. A glass of grapefruit every morning is excellent. Also keep in mind that vitamins in the form of fresh fruit and vegetables will help in keeping you strong and healthy. Try to eat dark green leafy vegetables and prunes to prevent constipation and to control anaemia. A well balanced diet with all the essential nutrients should be maintained throughout the pregnancy. Moderate exercise is highly recommended during your pregnancy. Try to go for brisk walks everyday and keep yourself physically active in the home. Take short naps after thuhr salaah. Maintain your personal hygiene, if you tend towards varicose veins then put your feet up on a stool whilst you are resting. Do simple stretching exercises daily and if you are inclined to, maintain whatever exercise you can. Water aerobics is recommended as your body is buoyant in water and there is less strain on it. (However, remember to chose a swimming pool where you will be able to maintain your modesty). Prevent strain on your back and try not to lift heavy items. The Islamic education of a child begins whilst it is a foetus in utero. If she recites the Quran frequently, reads verses from the Quran from memory, makes lots of zikr and is constantly engaged in good deeds and thoughts, insha’allah her child will be born with similar attributes. A mother who is calm, serene and relaxed during her pregnancy will hopefully go through a relatively easy labour and give birth to a contented baby. Avoid sinful, lewd acts and situations of anger and anguish. A mother’s negative emotional experiences are detected and felt by the foetus because her breathing becomes heavier, her blood pressure rises and so does her heart beat. This impacts on the foetus. The foetus can also hear loud noises and tests have revealed that the heartbeat of the foetus rises according to the discomfort experienced by it. Make dua and salaah for protection from calamities in abundance. Read Ayatul Kursi, Surah Yaseen, Surah Maryam, Surah Yusuf and Surah Mohammed. Duaas: ‘A ‘oodhu bikalimaatil-llaahi al-ttaammaati min sharr maa khalaqa’. (I seek protection in the perfect words of Allah from the evil of that which HE has created), ‘Hasbiya-llaahu wa ni’imal wakeel’ (Allah suffices us and is the best guardian). ‘U’eedhuhaa bika wa dhurriyyatahaa minash-shaytwaanir-rajeem ‘ (And I command her and her offspring to THY protection, from the evil one, the rejected) May Allah Ta’ala grant you healthy, pious offspring and make them the coolness of your eyes. Ameen. and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best 1SOCIAL DEPT. CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai Source

Pregnancy Bleeding and Periods Hanafi Fiqh > Askmufti.co.za Q: I will be going to do Umrah with my wife and have found out she is pregnant. The problem is she is bleeding/brown discharge at the moment. From her previous experience this has lead to a miscarriage. Is she allowed to perform umrah as normal as I believe this is not menstruation? Please can you give me the ruling on this as I am confused and not able to find anything regarding this matter with pregnancy bleeding . A: Bleeding during pregnancy is not menstruation. the laws of Istihaadhah will be followed. Moulana Yusuf Laher Source

Is Blood During Pregnancy Considered Menstruation? Hanafi Fiqh > Seekersguidance.org Answered by Ustadha Shaista Maqbool Question: If a pregnant woman bleeds during the time of her menstrual cycle every month, would she keep on praying or will she follow the routine of menstruation.The gynecologist also said that its very normal for woman to menstruate during their pregnancy and still have normal births. Answer: Assalaamu alaikum warahmat Allah, According to the Hanafi school, the blood that a woman sees during pregnancy is to be considered invalid blood, not menstruation. This means that she is considered pure and therefore must pray and do her obligatory fasts. (Hashiyah Ibn Abideen) Depending on the frequency/strength of the blood, she may be considered as having a ‘chronic excuse’ which would require her to do wudu with the ending of each prayer time. For details on this and other related rulings, please search the Seekers Guidance answers archive. wasalaam, Shaista Maqbool Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Bleeding during pregnancy is considered invalid blood. It is a type of Istihaadhah (Dysfunctional bleeding) & the woman will follow the rules of Istihaadhah (Rules on page 10 here) or the rules relating to the Ma'dhoor here

Authentic websites and blogs moving topic to General

Alhamdulillaah great!! Am copy pasting here. Links often do not work and even in the list there are links which dont work. Inshaa-allah we can do a search and fix links in the next few days LINKS (taken from Thus Spake Hazrat Shaikh) Abdul Qawi Sahab, Hazrat Maulana Sermons, books, programmes. Ahl-e-Sunnah in Iran Ahl-e-Sunnah in Italy This blog is in Italian. Use Google Translate to help yourself to get an idea of the efforts of these brothers. Albalagh A rare site with comments on the sites in the link section. Al-Mahmood Things mystic with Mufti Ebrahim Desai (DB) caliph of Mufti Mahmood-ul-Hasan Gangohi (RA) caliph of Shaikh-ul-Hadis Maulana Zakariya Kandhalwi (RA). An A-Z of Islam One of the many sites representing benefits of Hazrat Shaikh Yusuf Motla Sahab (DB) caliph of Hazrat Muhammed Zakaria Kandhalwi (RA). Ask Mufti Get answers to questions related to Islam from the Scholars lead by Mufti Siraj Desai, Port Elizabeth, South Africa. Askimam Answers to questions related to Islam by Mufti Ebrahim Desai (DB). As-Suffa Institute Courses, resources, question and answers and more from Birmingham, UK. At-Tahawi For book men ( and women) (as opposed to bookworms). Especially Arabic and English. At-Tazkirah Remembering religion, beloved Prophet (PBUH), hereafter, the People of Allah and Islam as a way of life. Audible Wisdom Use the inspiring spoken word in the original, that is, sound form to learn and refresh your faith. Bayan al-Qur’an Project Part of the site Shariah Program. The famous exegesis of the Holy Qura'n by Hazrat Aqdas Ashraf Ali Thanwi (RA) is the focus in above link. Beneath the Shade Choudhry Darul Hikmah Darul Irfan Darul Uloom Dar-ul-Uloom (Urdu Magazine) Dars-e-Quran Defending Ahl-e-Bayt Fahm-e-Deen The Heart Opener Haji Shakeel Sb Ilm Essentials In Shaykh’s Company Islah-e-Batin Islam in China Islam in Europe (Watch Out!) Islamic Spirituality Khanqah Imdadia Ashrafia Learn Arabic Links Dump at Sunni Forum Mehboob-e-Elahi Many Links Ma'rifah Mathabah Foundation Mawaiz-e-Ashrafia Mawlana Yunus Patel MinSid Muslimah Muslimology Nadwa Pearls of the Elders Provisions for Hereafter Qafila Raipuri Sacred Learning Sanctified Trust Seekers' Guidance Shaikh Zulfiqar Ahmad Naqshbandi Shariah Board Shaikh Siraj Luharvi South African Muslims Spread in Light Sunniforum Sufi-Zikr Traveling the Path Taubah Tauheed Sunnat The Deen The Heart Opener The Path To Paradise Thawr Institute The Red Sulphur Tidbits White Thread Press Winds of Islam Zamzam Academy

Fiqh of Financially Supporting one’s Parents and Relatives QUESTION To what extent are children responsible for financially providing for their parents? I am under great stress lately as my father continues to demand a share of my salary despite having more than enough himself to live a comfortable (in fact quite luxurious) lifestyle. He only takes my money to increase his savings. His take on the matter is that a child is ALWAYS supposed to give. Is this correct Islamically? I have been giving him almost a third of my yearly earnings for the last five years (a very large amount mind you). I have finally stopped doing that as I have just moved out and would like to save more for a new car/house etc. However my father is extremely angry about this. So the question remains. Islamically and keeping in mind that he has absolutely no need of any financial support at the moment (he works himself and is quite well settled), can I do such a thing. He always brings up the point that he spent a lot on my education (school, university etc). But I feel that from a financial perspective I have paid him back and plus every child has some right towards his parents correct? I can understand supporting him if he has a need. Then it is his right. But just to increase his savings? I have told him many times that I will never refuse if he has a genuine need, but he does not accept that. Please explain and if possible advise an approach to my dilemma. ANSWER In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, Before answering your question, let us briefly look at the Fiqh of financially supporting one’s parents and other relatives, so that it helps solve your query, Insha Allah. It is necessary (wajib) upon an individual that he supports his parents and grandparents, if they are poor, and provided that he is capable of doing so. Allah Most High says: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.” (Surah al-Isra, V. 23) Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “The most pure (of earnings) is what a man consumes from his own earnings, and his child is from his earnings.” (Sunan Tirmidhi, no. 1382, Sunan Abu Dawud & Sunan Ibn Majah, no. 2137) It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya: “A wealthy son will be obligated to spend on his poor parents, whether they are Muslims or otherwise, and whether they are capable of earning themselves or otherwise.” (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 1/564) Imam al-Mawsili (Allah have mercy on him) states in his renowned al-Ikhtiyar: “The Nafaqah (financial support) of the parents and grandparents is on the male and female children, for Allah Most High says: “say not to them a word of contempt” (Surah al-Isra). Thus, Allah Most High forbade the child from harming the parents even to this extent, and to not spend on them when they are in need is more harmful than this…..And Allah Most High says: “We have enjoined on man kindness to parents” (al-Ankabut, V. 8), and it is not from kindness to leave them in need despite having the capability to remove their need. And Allah Most High says regarding non-Muslim parents: “And bear them company in this life with consideration” (Luqman, V. 15), and it is inconsiderate to leave one’s parents hungry despite having the means to feed them….” (al-Ikhtiyar li Ta’lil al-Mukhtar, 2/231-232) In light of the above, it becomes clear that it is the responsibility of the children to financially support their parents provided two conditions are met: 1) One is financially in a position to do so. Imam al-Haskafi (Allah have mercy on him) elaborates on this by stating: “And it (m: financial support) is necessary (wajib) on the child who is wealthy, even if he is young, wealthy to the extent that Sadaqa al-Fitr becomes Wajib on him.” (See: Radd al-Muhtar ala al-Durr al-Mukhtar, 3/621) 2) One’s parents are poor, even if they are capable of earning themselves. Imam al-Haskafi (Allah have mercy on him) explains: “One will be responsible for financially supporting one’s parents if they are poor, even if they are capable of earning…” (ibid, 3/623) In a case where the poor father has more than one child, then all the children will be equally responsible to support their parents. It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya: “If a poor person has two children, one being very wealthy and the other is the owner of the Nisab (m: which necessitates one to pay Sadaqa al-Fitr), then the responsibility of supporting the father will be equally shared by both of them.” (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 1/565) As far as daughters are concerned, they also have an equal responsibility of supporting their parents, but this is when they earn, have their own money and are capable of doing so. (ibid, 1/564) With regards to one’s mother, the responsibility of supporting her will be on her husband. However, if her husband (one’s father) is poor, then one will be supporting her by supporting the father. If she does not have a husband, then one will be obliged to support her, if she is poor. (Radd al-Muhtar, 3/623) As far as the other relatives are concerned, we can divide them into two categories: 1) Male relatives, such as one’s brother, uncle, nephew, etc. The responsibility of financially supporting them is only in the situation where they are poor and not capable of earning themselves due to some disability or illness. Imam al-Mawsili (Allah have mercy on him) states in al-Ikhtiyar: “The Nafaqah (financial support) of other relatives besides the parents and children is (also) necessary according to the amount of inheritance (mirath)….And this is only necessary when the relative is poor, disabled and not able to earn.” (al-Ikhtiyar li Ta’lil al-Mukhtar, 2/232) 2) Female relatives, such as one’s sisters, aunty, etc. The responsibility of supporting them is conditioned only with them being poor and in need. Disability is not a condition, for women are not obliged to work and earn money. It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya: “The Nafaqah of virgin female relatives is necessary even if they are healthy, provided they are in need of the Nafaqah.” (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 1/566) However, if a woman is married, then she will be supported by her husband, hence the responsibility of supporting her will be lifted from her relatives. In al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, it is further stated: “The husband will be solely responsible in supporting his wife, so much so that if a woman has a husband who is poor (m: and not capable of supporting her) but has a son, from a previous husband, who is wealthy or a wealthy father or a wealthy brother, her financial support will still remain on her husband, and not on her father, son and brother. However, her father, son or brother will be ordered to spend on her, and then recover it from the husband when he becomes well-off.” (ibid) In conclusion, the son is responsible to support his parents if they are poor and in need, and that he is capable of doing so. He is responsible to support his male relatives if they are poor and disabled; and female relatives if they are in need. A woman will always be supported by her husband if she is married and not her brother, father, etc. Therefore, in your situation, your husband’s first responsibility is to support you and your children. The reason being is that the responsibility of supporting one’s wife is unconditional. One must provide for one’s wife regardless of whether she is in need or otherwise and regardless of whether one is capable or otherwise. The Nafaqah of the wife is not waived away by one being poor. Hence, his first responsibility will be supporting his wife. However, if his parents are poor or his sisters are poor and unmarried, then he will be obliged to support them also. In al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, it is stated that if a man has a father and son, and he is only capable of supporting one of them, then he will support his son first. (1/565) It is also stated: “If a man has a wife, children and poor parents, then he will be obliged to include his father in his daily providing, thus the father will be considered to be one of his family members (m: meaning those under his care).” (ibid) At times, parents demand from their sons even if they (parents) are rich and wealthy themselves. In such a situation, the son will not be obliged to support them. At the same time, however, one will need to respect them and give them their rights of politeness, good treatment, etc. Also, it would be good to give them something occasionally even when one is not responsible of supporting them. The man, who is obligated to support his wife, children and is also responsible to support his parents, etc, will have to balance things out in a proper manner. His primary concern will be his wife and children, but at the same time he must support his poor parents. One should always keep the following statement of Salman (Allah be pleased with him) in mind: “Give everyone who has a right their full rights.” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Salman spoke the truth,” when he heard this. (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim) And Allah knows best [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam Darul Iftaa Leicester , UK Source

found this: http://www.muftisays.com/forums/27-sharing-portal/368-authentic-websites-and-blogs.html?pg=1

SF had a list I think...or was it just authentic blogs, not sure. Unfortunately lost now. Not many forums but letssee if we can do something regarding blogs and sites. We can start a new topic with some links and then add as we find them inshaa-allaah

Wa'alaykumus salaam warahmatullaahi wabarakaatuhu Umm Khadeejah, yes it would. I did a search a couple of times unfortunately but could not come up with anything specific. There are some Tamilnadu speakers and an institution teaching in tamilnadu where people qualify however there is no way of knowing if its authentic or not. Will try asking some people and see what comes up

hmmm I quite the "Comic Sans MS".... Changed to Times New Roman in the last post. Is that better?

The Nasheed Disease ᴴᴰ - Powerful Reminder Shaykh Hasan Ali

If You Have an Abusive Parent, Learn to Value Yourself It would be nice if we all had loving and supportive parents. Some do, Alhamdulillah. To have kind, caring parents is a great gift. But some have parents who are critical, demeaning and harsh. Do you have an abusive parent who tells you that you are worthless, stupid and good for nothing? If so, you can’t spend your life waiting and hoping for that parent to love you and be proud of you. It’s not going to happen, my friend. Most likely your parent was raised harshly himself/herself and doesn’t know how to act any other way. Accept that reality and learn to value yourself, no matter what anyone says. You will have to be strong and independent in spirit. You will have to find validation of your worth within yourself. You do have worth, after all. You are as unique and beautiful as the sun and the moon, the sea and the stars. You are special and gifted and you will need to realize that on your own, even in the face of external abuse. Seek your support from Allah. “And We have certainly honored the children of Adam and carried them on the land and sea and provided for them of the good things and preferred them over much of what We have created…” – Quran, 17:70. Allah has honored you. Dignity is your birthright. It’s okay if you’re not perfect. No one is. You can still love yourself, with all your special gifts and funny habits, and whatever is lacking, well, you can work on it. That’s what all of us do. “I Know Who I Am” It can be very hard to resist the negative labels that parents put on us. Nothing wounds like an insult from a parent. Their words have a way of worming into our brains even when we know better. We must be patient with them without buying into their negativity. This is not to say that parental abuse is acceptable. Not at all. Respect goes both ways. Parents have a duty to raise their children with kindness and love. If your parents are physically abusing you, then that’s a situation that you should try to get out of. Separate yourself from them if possible. Be safe, and know that they too will face God one day in judgment, and will be called to account for their deeds. This article is focused more on the issue of verbal abuse. The truth is that even if you are accomplished, well behaved, and devoted, some parents will continue to abuse you verbally. Even if you have moved out, married and have children of your own, and only see your parents occasionally, they might continue to find fault with everything you do, and generally devalue you. I’m not saying it’s okay. I’m saying it’s an unfortunate reality with some parents, and you cannot allow it to define you. Write some positive affirmations about yourself. Affirmations are true statements that express your best qualities, and also express what kind of person you strive to be. They represent the ideal you. I personally have a list of 29 affirmations, and here’s number 12 on my list: “12. I am a good son to my parents. I am patient and loving with them. When speaking to them I maintain a positive, independent and calm spirit, knowing who I am and confident in my choices.” Read your affirmations every day. Even if you don’t quite believe your own affirmations at times, even if you feel inwardly skeptical, keep reading them. When you speak to your parents, breathe deeply and slowly. Don’t let anything they say make you anxious or excited. Tell yourself silently, “I know who I am.” Allah loves you and has a plan for you. Believe this and move forward, and when you have children, shut down the cycle of negativity and do better than your parents did. It’s okay to be better than your parents. Any good parent wants their children to surpass them. Show your own children patience, gentleness and endless love. May Allah bless you and fill your heart with self-knowledge, self-dignity, and hope for the future. By Wael Abdelgawad