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What is riya and can you please advise how to fix it? Question on Nov,20 2017 riyashow Question: What is riyāʾ and can you please advise how to fix it? Answer: Bismillahi Taʿālā Assalāmu ʿalaykum waraḥmatullāhī wabrakātuh, Riyāʾ means “show off”. It is an illness of the heart which remains hidden, unless accountability is made of it. Riyāʾ can creep into many different forms and can afflict even the righteous. Scholars have written numerous treatise on rectification of riyāʾ in one’s thoughts, actions and ʿibādāt. It has a tendency of eating away one’s good deeds like fire. Many actions and ʿibādāt are affected by insincerity leading to Riyāʾ where one starts to do actions to please one’s nafs instead of Allah. If one were to think hard then making our nafs’s pleasure a goal instead of pleasing Allah is nothing short of ascribing partners to Allah. Imām Tirmiẓī raḥimahullāh has pointed towards this while quoting the hadeeth, “Indeed riyāʾ is shirk” In our times, we seek quick fixes for everything. While there is no quick fix for a life long misplaced sincerity, one prescription given by our teachers for shunning riyāʾ and strengthening one’s ikhlās is through sincere “Istighfār“. For every action you do, follow it with sincere Istighfār from Allah for not having sincere intention in it. InshāʾAllāh, over time this will rectify the intention and diminish the riyāʾ. At the same time, keep close guidance from pious scholars and guides who can assist you in progress of your heart’s rectification. Finally, one should also be mindful that many individuals who realize the gravity of riyāʾ tend to abandon their ʿibādāt in fear of falling prey to riyāʾ. This retaliation itself is nothing less than the calamity of riyāʾ itself. The idea is to gain closeness of Allāh, inward and outward. Hence if avoidance of riyāʾ leads one to abandon the very act which was to take him closer to Allah, then shayṭān has fooled such an individual into abandoning good action. It is at this juncture, the above prescription is most useful. Carry on with the ʿibādah, while continuing to seek istighfār from Allāh. May Allah Taʿālā assist you in abundance and provide you freedom from riyāʾ like the pious aslaaf (predecessors), Ameen. And Allāh Taʿālā Knows best, Wassalamu ʿalaykum, Mufti Faisal al-Mahmudi سنن الترمذي – شركة مكتبة ومطبعة مصطفى البابي الحلبي (4/ 110) عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَنَّهُ قَالَ: «إِنَّ الرِّيَاءَ شِرْكٌ Source

Working out one’s zakaat date Q: When will zakaat be obligatory and how should one work out one's zakaat date? https://ecp.yusercontent.com/mail?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmuftionline.co.za%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fpictures%2Fbismillah.jpg&t=1613931526&ymreqid=1e76d8aa-a6f0-66f7-1c0d-c20001017e00&sig=a6k5bO4cpjeOijwSBT_f5g--~D A: When a person acquires wealth (upon which zakaat is compulsory) which equals the nisaab and the wealth remains with him for an entire lunar year from the first day he acquires this wealth, zakaat will be fardh on that wealth. E.g. Zaid acquired R8 000 (which for example is the nisaab amount) on the first day of the lunar year (1st of Muharram 1434). This wealth remained with him for an entire lunar year. On the 1st of Muharram 1435, zakaat will be fardh upon the wealth. It should be noted that if the amount decreased during the course of the year e.g. R8 000 decreased to R1 000, but at the end of the zakaat year (1st of Muharram 1435), the amount returned to R8 000 or more, zakaat will be fardh. However, if during the year, all the money was spent and nothing remained, then one's zakaat year will no longer be calculated from the previous time when one had acquired the nisaab. Rather, one will count one lunar year from the next time one acquires the nisaab amount or more. (وشرط كمال النصاب) ولو سائمة (في طرفي الحول) في الابتداء للانعقاد وفي الانتهاء للوجوب (فلا يضر نقصانه بينهما) فلو هلك كله بطل الحول قال العلامة ابن عابدين - رحمه الله -: قوله (وشرط كمال النصاب إلخ) أي ولو حكما لما في البحر والنهر لو كان له غنم للتجارة تساوي نصابا فماتت قبل الحول فدبغ جلودها وتم الحول عليها كان عليه الزكاة إن بلغت نصابا ولو تخمر عصيره الذي للتجارة قبل الحول ثم صار خلا وتم الحول عليه وهو كذلك لا زكاة عليه لأن النصاب في الأول باق لبقاء الجلد لتقومه بخلافه في الثاني وروى ابن سماعة أنه عليه الزكاة في الثاني أيضا قوله (للانعقاد) أي انعقاد السبب أي تحققه بتملك النصاب ط قوله (للوجوب) أي لتحقق الوجوب عليه ط قوله (فلو هلك كله) أي في أثناء الحول بطل الحول حتى لو استفاد فيه غيره استأنف له حولا جديدا وتقدم حكم هلاكه بعد تمام الحول في زكاة الغنم قال في النهر ومنه أي من الهلاك ما لو جعل السائمة علوفة لأن زوال الوصف كزوال العين (رد المحتار 2/302) ولو هلك كله بطل الحول (حاشية الطحطاوي على مراقي الفلاح صـ 717) العبرة في الزكاة للحول القمري كذا في القنية (الفتاوى الهندية 1/175) وإذا كان النصاب كاملا في طرفي الحول فنقصانه فيما بين ذلك لا يسقط الزكاة كذا في الهداية (الفتاوى الهندية 1/175) (الزكاة واجبة على الحر العاقل البالغ المسلم إذا ملك نصابا ملكا تاما وحال عليه الحول) أما الوجوب فلقوله تعالى: وآتوا الزكاة ولقوله صلى الله عليه وسلم: أدوا زكاة أموالكم وعليه إجماع الأمة والمراد بالواجب الفرض لأنه لا شبهة فيه (الهداية 1/95) Answered by: Mufti Zakaria Makada Checked & Approved: Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

Merely possessing the knowledge of something is of little value if one does not apply it. This is an accepted principle. It is even worse if one becomes arrogant on account of this knowledge. The purpose of attending classes on the Seerah of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), for example, should be to adopt the inward and outward Sunnahs and to implement the lessons learned in our own lives. Sitting through lectures on the Shama’il and Hadith in general must result in the application of Sunnahs to ourselves. If this is not the case, we need to ask ourselves, what went wrong? How is it that I’ve spent so much time pursuing sacred knowledge yet I haven’t connected the dots to establish the relationship between knowledge and action? This is precisely why our pious elders emphasized that a seeker of knowledge must always remain concerned about the acceptance of one’s knowledge (‘ilm) of the Deen. In other words, if the sacred knowledge one pursued receives acceptance from Allah, it was worth pursuing it and acting upon it. If, on the other hand, Allah does not grant it acceptance in His court then seeking it was an undertaking in vain. The scholars of the heart (ahl al-tasawwuf) have laid out five steps to achieve Divine Acceptance (qubuliyyah) in one’s knowledge which are as follows: STEP 1: Acquire knowledge Seeking knowledge of the Deen is an obligation of varying degrees upon every believing person. This is the first step and an essential one. Without recognizing the need for increasing one’s knowledge it is impossible to improve our condition, as individuals and as a community. To underscore the importance of seeking increase in knowledge, here is a Qur’anic fact: Did you know that the ONLY thing Allah asked His Messenger (ﷺ) to seek increase in within the entire Qur’an is knowledge? Allah says in the Qur’an as a command directed at the Prophet (ﷺ): Given the significance of seeking increase in one’s knowledge, it only makes sense that acquiring sacred knowledge is the first step towards achieving Divine Acceptance because without knowing what brings us closer to our Creator there is no way forward. STEP 2: Act upon the knowledge gained Imam Darimi narrates in his Sunan that Sayyiduna ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) asked Ka’b (al-Ahbar), who had knowledge of the previous scriptures, “Who are the people of knowledge [according to you]?” Ka’b rahimahullah answered “those who act upon their knowledge”. In other words, the attribution of knowledge towards the people of knowledge is due to their acting upon it. Hence, the one who knows of the clear prohibitions of the Shari’ah but does not refrain from them by continuously and openly engaging in prohibited matters is not really from the people of knowledge, no matter how many honorific titles are assigned to him and how many degrees or ijazahs he has. STEP 3: Act upon knowledge with sincerity (ikhlas) Because the acceptance of all actions hinges upon intention, without sincerity in one’s intentions (i.e. acting purely for the pleasure of Allah) there can be no hope for reward. This sincerity is achievable through one simple method that our teachers advise of: Perform good acts and tell no one. Give charity anonymously, for example. Make it a matter strictly between you and Allah. DON’T TELL A SOUL. Or, for example, pray a few rak’ahs of supererogatory prayers when no one is around so that no one except Allah knows about it. STEP 4: Sincerity in one’s actions must be adherent to the Sunnah No matter the level of sincerity in one’s actions, if it opposes a Sunnah command, it is of no value. For example, one prays a few rak’ahs completely out of sight from his acquaintances and even his own family, completely alone in a room that no one has access to, but he performs them at sunrise or sunset. Even though there is little doubt about this person’s sincere intentions, because his actions go against the Prophetic command to abstain from prayer at these times, the disregard for the Sunnah results in no benefit for him. Our actions, based on the knowledge we’ve gained, should not conflict with the Sunnah even if they are done with sincere intentions. Remember, actions which are in conformity with the Sunnah are the purest and the most beloved to Allah. STEP 5: After acting upon knowledge with sincere intentions, worry about its acceptance! Allah praised the Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with them) in the Qur’an for their charity by stating: The Sahabah gave what they gave in the path of Allah but even after this clearly virtuous act their hearts remained fearful. What was their fear? They were worried about the acceptance of their sadaqah by Allah. Hence, a believer acquires requisite knowledge, acts upon it with ikhlas and ensures it is in line with the Sunnah but always remains concerned about its acceptance in the court of Allah. He continues to supplicate to Allah beseeching Him to accept his knowledge-seeking, his good actions and his refraining from what is prohibited. May Allah grant us all tawfiq. Amin. Source

Treatment of Cataract from the Quran One of the Swiss pharmaceutical companies has started producing a new medicine called “Medicine of Quran” which allows the treatment of cataract without surgery. As the newspaper Ar-Raya, published in Qatar writes, “this drug which was synthesised by an Egyptian doctor Abdul Basit Muhammad from the secretions of human sweat glands and has an effectiveness of 99 per cent with absolutely no side effects, was registered in Europe and the United States. It is also reported that one of the Swiss companies produces the new drug in the form of liquid and eye drops . The source of inspiration is Surah(chapter) Yusuf. Dr Abdul Basit Muhammad emphasised that he obtained his inspiration from Surah Yusuf and said: “ Once in the morning, I was reading Surah(chapter) Yusuf. My attention lingered over the 84th and successive ayats (verses). “Go with this shirt of mine, and cast it over the face of my father, he will become clear-sighted, and bring to me all your family” (Qur’an 12:93) They tell that Prophet Yakub who was mourning his son Yusuf (peace be upon them) in sadness and grief got his eyes turned white and later when people cast over the sorrowful father’s face, the shirt of his son Yusuf, vision returned to him and he was able to see again.Here I started pondering. What could be there in the shirt of Yusuf? Finally I arrived at the decision that nothing except sweat could be on it. I concentrated my thoughts over the sweat and its composition. Then I proceeded to the laboratory for research. I carried out a series of experiments on rabbits. The results turned out to be positive. Later I performed treatment on 250 patients by administering the drug twice a day for two weeks. Finally I achieved 99 per cent success and said to myself: “ This is the miracle of the Quran” Dr Abdul Basit Muhammad presented the results of his research to appropriate institutions in Europe and the United States dealing with patenting of new discoveries for consideration. After tests and research were performed, he finalised a contract with a Swiss company on the production of the medicine on the condition that the package should clearly mention-“Medicine of Quran.” In the words of the Egyptian scientist, the company accepted his condition and started producing the new drug. (Courtesy-Ar-Raya, Qatar) Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an-e-Kareem: We send down from the Qur’an that which is a healing and mercy to those who believe)(QURAAN 17:82) Protection against blindness: Recite three times morning and evening: “Subhaanallaahil- azeemi wa bihamdihi wala hauwla wala quwwata illa billaah” : “Pure and sublime is Allah. The Mighty and Praise belongs only to Him. There is no Power to save from sins, nor strength to accomplish good but with the Help of Allah.” (From:”Morning & Evening Duaas”) Strengthening the eye-sight(from Qur’an): Recite this verse three times after every salaah(prayer) for strengthening of eye-sight: “Laqad kunta fie ghaflatim min haadha fakashafna anka ghitaa-aka fabasurakal hadeed”: “(It will be said) Thou wast heedless of this, now We have removed thy veil, And sharp is thy sight this day !” (From: “Remedies from the Holy Qur’an.”) Courtesy: www.everymuslim.co.za

Meraj Mohiuddin’s “Revelation: The Story of Muhammad ﷺ”: A Critical Review JULY 10, 2019 By Bilal Ali Ansari In the name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate. Despite its relatively recent publication, Dr. Meraj Mohiuddin’s Revelation: The Story of Muhammad (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him) has quickly become one of the more popular, publicized, and widely-distributed additions to the growing corpus of English literature on the prophetic biography (sīrah). Boasting an aesthetically-pleasing, simple, and modern design, Revelationenjoys a long list of endorsements by well-recognized Muslim personalities in the West and a foreword by the American Muslim academic Dr. Sherman Jackson. The author, a physician by training, has taken great pains to design a book that is rich in illustrations to complement a condensed chronicle of the Messenger of Allah’s life (may Allah bless him and grant him peace). Mohiuddin includes a wealth of graphics: maps, family trees, and timelines that help visualize complex lineages and familial relationships, track the movements of armies, and contextualize significant events in time. Deceptively large in size, the book’s historical material is in fact quite concise, providing first-time readers of the sīrah a summarized version of the contents of, for the most part, Martin Ling’s Muhammad: His Life Based on the Earliest Sourcesand Ṣafī al-Raḥmān al-Mubārakpūrī’s The Sealed Nectar: Biography of the Noble Prophet(al-Raḥīq al-Makhtūm). Readers will be able to immediately appreciate the overall quality of the printing: the heavy paper, strong binding, professional typesetting, minimalist design, etc… Unlike some sīrahbooks available in the market, which – despite some excellent content – are commonly discredited due to their poor grammatical constructions, imprecise translations, archaic prose, sophomoric transliteration, or simply the use of flimsy paper that allows text to bleed through to the other side, Revelationensures that no reader will superficially dismiss it on the basis of appearance alone. Once the curious reader opens the textbook to grade it on the basis of its actual substance, however, some serious limitations of the work begin to emerge. The graphics, timelines, glossaries, and quality printing become quickly and regrettably obscured by a paucity of sources, a careless narrative, an excessive poetic license, and a general reductionistic historical revisionism, amongst a laundry list of other issues. Of course, there is little reason to doubt the noble and sincere intentions of the author, who despite admitted academic limitations, goes to great pains to present readers with a biography that reflects his appreciation of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) while also appearing to be a critical and reflective narrative. Our intention in writing this review is not to place doubt on the author’s aims or motives. It is simply an attempt to bring to light some of the book’s shortcomings, be they obvious or subtle, so that readers may be equipped to read it with a critical eye. Our hope is that despite the work’s historical and methodological failings, readers will learn to appreciate its limitations while still taking advantage of the book’s noteworthy contributions, and that the author will benefit from the suggestions of this review – as harsh or extensive as they may seem – in producing future editions. Method of Critique In this critique, we attempt to address some of the key issues of methodology and sources in the work under separate headings and with only a few examples from the text for each. Should it be requested or required, a future, more exhaustive corrigendum may be provided with a more detailed, systematic inventory of errors arranged in order of their appearance in the book. For the time being, we suffice with four main headings – poverty of sources, reductionist historical revisionism and cultural presentism, factual inaccuracies, and poetic license. We have not intended, by any means, to exhaustively list the book’s failings. We have also chosen not to focus on typographical or spelling errors, transliteration issues, or other minor points in this review. However, in some instances, when it is useful for the reader to address smaller matters, we have done so. A case in point is the author’s choice to exclude Arabic text in the book so that the reader “will not have to treat it with ceremonial care”, despite the cover of the book being adorned with a beautiful calligraphic print of the Prophet Muḥammad’s name (may Allah bless him and grant him peace), which even if not a verse of the Qurʾān, demands a certain degree of veneration and ceremonial care. Due to this ill-equipped reviewer’s own academic limitations and owing to the urgency with which this review was prepared, I am certainly under no illusion that my critique has sufficiently or comprehensively addressed the book’s flaws, nor that every particular assessment is accurate. It is my sincere hope that any mistakes found in this review will be rectified in the future, with help from the reader, for the general benefit. FULL ARTICLE HERE

Seeratul Mustafa new abridged 1 volume & original 3 volumes (Links to an external site.) The Sealed Nectar Muhammad The Ideal Prophet by Abul Hasan Ali Nadvi (Links to an external site.) Seerah of The Final Messenger by Mufti Muhammad Shafi The Battles of Prophet Muhammad by Ibn Kathir When The Moon Split

When you post the du'as its an opportunity for us to read it as a Du'a and thats how I notice errors. Its better to point out on the topic so anyone copying them will be informed. Allah ta'ala accept all efforts!

Assalaamu 'laykum warahmatullah! Jazaakillahu khayran once more for the excellent contribution Can you pls check the following word? Transliteration says, "wa min da’watith-thubuur" so is it a Shhen on a thaa? وَمِنْ دَعْوَةِ الشُّبُوْرِ،

Summarized by Samah Syed from the ‘Gateways of Relief and Assistance’ webinar by Shaykh Tameem Ahmadi. It is in the nature of this worldly life that it will be filled with trials and tribulations for every individual, old or young, rich or poor. Allah Most High states in the Qur’an: “And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned” (Qur’an, 42:30) Thus, we should understand that any calamity that befalls us is often a consequence of our wrongdoings and ultimately this is a calling for us from Allah Most High to turn back to Him. Although we must turn to Allah in both good times and bad, it is especially natural for the human in his desperate and broken state to wholly and completely turn to His Lord in need. Here are five ways through which we can attain nearness to our Lord and thereby attain ultimate peace of heart in times of trial and tribulation: #1 Du’a Allah Most High says in the Qur’an: “And your Lord says: ‘Call on me; I will answer your prayer’ (Quran, 40:60)” Du’a is a direct link to our Creator and is an act of worship that can be done at anytime and anywhere. It is a means by which we can pour our hearts out and rest assured that our affairs will be taken care of by the King of kings. It is stated in a hadith that when Allah Most High sees the hands of the slave lifted up to him He feels shame that He should leave that person’s hands unfilled (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi). We should therefore keep making du’a with a firm conviction that Allah Most High will most definitely answer it. We must never be despondent and complain that Allah is not answering our du’as. When we ask Him, either Allah gives us exactly what we want, or He doesn’t and instead stores something better for us in the hereafter or He removes some calamity of this life by means of that du’a. Thus, making du’a is a “win-win-win” situation. #2 Reciting Qur’an In the Qur’an there is an invitation of Allah, therefore we should accept the invitation, the way a guest honors the invitation given to him by his host. Abundant recitation of the blessed Book of Allah brings about nur (light) and barakah (blessings) within a person and allows one to attain peace of heart and mind. For every letter we recite, Allah Most High grants us ten hasanat (rewards). The Qur’an is said to be the rope of Allah, and just as a rope is used to pull a fallen individual out of a dark well, the Qur’an is a means of pulling us out from the darkness of all our worries and difficulties. #3 Dhikr Allah Most High says in the Qur’an: “Those who believe, and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest (Qur’an, 13:28).” Allah Most High states that He is with us whenever we remember Him. Thus, what better method of dealing with our sorrows and anxieties than being in the company of our Creator? When we engage in abundant dhikr (remembrance), depression and worry is taken away from the heart and happiness is brought into the heart. We drive away Satan and attain Allah’s pleasure. Our bodies and hearts are strengthened and a nur (light) develops in our hearts and faces. Dependent upon how much dhikr we make, we develop a proximity or closeness to Allah and a mahabbah or love for Allah also forms in our hearts. Dhikr can take many forms, the most common of which are tasbih (SubhanAllah), tahlil (La ilaha il Allah), tahmid (Alhamdullilah), takbir (Allahu Akbar) and istighfar (Astaghfirullah). It is stated in a hadith that just as iron rusts, so too do our hearts and therefore just as iron needs polish, the polish for our rusted hearts is abundant dhikr. Thus we should make use of these “polishes” so that our hearts are constantly renewed and refreshed. #4 Salah Allah Most High says in the Qur’an: “And seek help in patience and As-Salat (Qur’an, 2:45).” Salah or prayer is our daily connection with Allah and has been referred to as the mi’raj or ascension of the believer. Whenever Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) had any trouble or concern he would quickly resort to salah to gain comfort and clarity. Our daily prayers are our links to Allah and it is in salah where we are the closest to Him. Our prayers (salahs) attract rizq (provisions) and serve as protection for our wealth and material well-being. #5 Salutations upon the Prophet (ﷺ) Allah Most High says in the Qur’an: “Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet. Oh you who believe! Send blessings on him, and salute him with all respect (Qur’an, 33:56).” Ubayy ibn Ka’b (may Allah be pleased with him) once came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and asked him how much of his du’a should include salutations upon the Prophet (ﷺ). The Prophet (ﷺ) told him he could include as much as he pleased and if he did more then it would be better for him. Ubayy ibn Kaab (may Allah be pleased with him) then asked him about dedicating a quarter of his du’a to salawat (salutations upon the Prophetﷺ). Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) gave him the same reply again. He then asked him about half and then two-thirds until he finally asked if he should make his entire du’a dedicated to sending salawat. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) told him if he did this then all his worries would be taken care of and all of his sins would be forgiven (Ahmad, Tirmidhi). Thus, we should make it a habit to send abundant salutations on Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) every day, especially on Fridays. By doing so we would have opened yet another gateway of bringing tranquility and contentment to our hearts. Source

2 - Safar Safar - Superstitions

1- Muharram Muharram & Aashura Muharram, Karbalah & Aashura Additional spending on the day of Aashura Muharram - Reflect, Resolve and Reclaim!

Taken from "Etiquettes of Social Life" by Shaykh Ashraf Ali Thanvi (rahimahullah) PDF

True Appreciation of Rajab By Shaykhul-Hadīth, Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh With the advent of Rajab, the seventh month of the Islamic calendar, Muslims remember the great miracle of the Beloved Nabī of Allāh ta‘ālā, the Mi‘rāj, which is commonly believed to have taken place in this month. During this miracle, Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam travelled with his body and soul from Makkah Mukarramah to Baytul-Maqdis, and from there to the seven heavens and beyond and returned all in a split second. The first part of the journey, from Makkah Mukarramah to Al-Masjidul-Aqsā, is called the Isrā and is mentioned in the Glorious Qur’ān. The second part of the journey, from Al-Masjidul-Aqsā to the heavens and beyond, is known as the Mi‘rāj. The great Mufassir ‘Allāmah Ibn Kathīr rahimahullāh has enumerated twenty-five Sahābah radhiyallāhu ‘anhum who have narrated this second part of the journey from Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. With regards to Mi‘rāj and the month of Rajab, let us keep the following points in mind: • Auspicious nights such as Laylatul-Qadr, Laylatul-Barā’ah and Laylatul-Jumu‘ah are full of virtue and blessing, but the difference between them and the night of Mi‘rāj is that this night was prominent in blessings only on the particular night when Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam made this blessed journey. The blessedness and prominence does not return every year. Therefore, to make special arrangements of any sort or to engage in ‘ibādah during this night, assuming it to be blessed, is baseless. There is no record of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam or the Sahābah radhiyallāhu ‘anhum celebrating the night of Mi‘rāj. • This great miracle is commonly believed to have taken place on the 27th night of the Islamic month of Rajab. However, the ‘Ulamā hold differing opinions about the exact date. Hāfiz Ibn Hajar Al-‘Asqalānī rahimahullāh, the commentator of Sahīhul-Bukhārī, has quoted more than ten different opinions for the possible date of Mi‘rāj. If this night was meant to be observed and spent in ‘ibādah, there would have been no difference amongst the Sahābah radhiyallāhu ‘anhum, for their ‘ibādah would have clearly defined the time of occurrence. • The incident of Mi‘rāj is truly an extraordinary event and a blessing not bestowed upon any other prophet, angel or other creation of Allāh ta‘ālā, neither before nor after. The correct way of truly celebrating and appreciating this great event is to remember the very precious gift that Allāh ta‘ālā sent for us on that night i.e. salāh. The performance of the five daily salāh is the Mi‘rāj for the believers, as through ṣalāh they receive the honour of conversing with Allāh ta‘ālā. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said: Allāh ta‘ālā says in a Al-Hadīthul-Qudsī: By understanding the position of salāh in Islām, one can conclude that only that person who values the gift of Mi‘rāj can truly claim to have understood Mi‘rāj. When the month of Rajab would arrive, Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam used to make the following du‘ā: Allāhumma barik lana fī rajabin wa sha'bān, wa balighnā Ramadān. O Allāh! Grant us barakah in the months of Rajab and Sha‘bān and make us reach the month of Ramadān. (Al-Mu‘jamul-Awsat) Therefore, it is desirable to recite this du‘ā on the advent of Rajab. Upon the commencement of Rajab, everyone should focus their attention on making preparations for the blessed month of Ramadān. This preparation is a spiritual one and entails fulfilling one’s duties to Allāh ta‘ālā, especially in areas where one is lacking. Preparing for Ramadān from the month of Rajab is just like getting into a car and putting it in first gear. Begin to observe the compulsory and obligatory acts from now so that by the time Ramadān sets in, you are in fifth gear practising many optional acts of worship as well. May Allāh ta‘ālā give us the tawfīq to practise upon His entire Dīn according to the teachings of our Beloved Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, and may He enable us to start making preparations for the month of Ramadān from now. Āmīn. Extracted from 'Inspirations' (Part 1) © Islāmic Da'wah Academy

The Basis and Objective of Unity Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullahi ‘alaih) once mentioned: Allah Ta‘ala says in the Qur’aan Majeed: وَ اعۡتَصِمُوۡا بِحَبۡلِ اللّٰهِ جَمِیۡعًا وَّلاَ تَفَرَّقُوۡا Hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not be divided. (Surah Aal-e-Imraan v. 103) The benefit of unity mentioned in this verse will not be acquired by merely bringing people together. Rather, the benefit of unity will be acquired through bringing people together and uniting them upon the rope of Allah (i.e. uniting them upon practising true deen). Hence, it is a futile exercise to try and bring people together merely for the sake of unity (when their deeni views and objectives are poles apart). Instead, the purpose of unity is to unite people upon the truth, and this is what is being referred to by “Hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not be divided” mentioned in this verse of the Qur’aan Majeed. In other words, the first step towards achieving unity is to determine which group is upon haq (the truth) and which group is upon baatil (falsehood). (Thereafter, both groups should be dealt with correctly.) The group that is upon baatil should be invited towards the haq, and the group that is upon haq should not be criticized or condemned in any way. (When this is the approach adopted, then unity will be achieved.) Hence, we understand that this verse refers to a specific type of unity and not general unity by merely bringing people together without the correct deeni objective being achieved, merely for the sake of unity. (Malfoozaat Hakeemul Ummat 14/56)

already moved form "Madhabs" to fiqh

Romance in a Marriage Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” [Ibn Majah] Romance is very much a part of our Deen. Our Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam was extremely loving and romantic as seen in Hadith. ‘A’isha RA said the Prophet took her along with him on one of his journeys. The Prophet instructed his Companions to go on ahead. After they had proceeded some distance, the Prophet asked ‘A’isha if she would like to race him. ‘A’isha gladly accepted and won the race. Years had passed and ‘A’isah again accompanied Prophet Muhammad on a journey. He asked again if she should like to race. Reminding her husband of the race that she once won, she readily accepted his offer. They raced but this time ‘A’isha lost. According to ‘A’isha, this was due to the weight she had gained since the first race. Afterwards, the Prophet, smiling, said: “This is in return for that race.” Aisha RA said that Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhiw asallam used to put his mouth on the place she had drunk from and he would lay his head on her lap and recite the Qur'an even when she was menstruating. He called her by a special name (Humayraa). Many cultural practices extinguish romance i.e. when living with extended family where modesty has to be maintained. However couples can still have excitement by going out, going away, etc. and women can dress in revealing clothes to be visually appealing and attractive in private. The beginning of the relationship is maintained by romantic attraction which ends so one needs to build the relationship on a solid foundation of respect, honesty, loyalty, etc. After the end of this period spouses need to figure out their values and how to live by them. Public display of affection The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam had fun with his wives however it was not publicly done. Intimacy It is the right on each other to have full and complete fulfilment. Historically and in conservative societies women having this expectation are looked down on. This is not right as women can be very sensual and should be sensual towards their husbands. The husbands are asked to lower their gaze and guard their modesty so women should offer what they desire as they are human and avoiding temptations. This is why there is marriage. Behind closed doors very little is off limit between husband and wife. Few exceptions include when in menstruation/post-natal bleeding and impermissible acts of intimacy. There is a need to talk to professionals about abuse, past trauma, illness, etc. as they can interfere emotionally and physically with intimacy with the spouse Intimacy should not be denied without a valid reason “If a husband calls his wife to his bed and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning.” (Bukhari) “When a man calls his wife for his need, then let her come, even if she is at the oven.” (Tirmidhi)

The Nikah & Waleemah · Nikkah in a Masjid is Sunnah – a Nikah should be publicized so there are no doubts when the couple are seen together. It should not be a secret Nikah. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallama said, “Announce the marriage.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 4066 · · Two witnesses necessary · Mehr - is an agreed amount given by the groom to the bride. Woman can forgo it however if agreed than groom has to give it or he will be accountable for it. To avoid conflict the Mahr should be discussed and agreed upon before the Nikah ceremony and bargaining should be avoided. It should not be so high that the groom cannot afford it and not so little that it dishonours the bride. The best Mahr is affordable and easy. The Sunnah is in moderation · Other words used in the Qur’an doe Mahr: ‘attiyah, nihla, hiba · Right of the wife from her husband - Mahr is the right of the wife. It is a gift by which he honours his wife and a means of expressing his seriousness and responsibility as he enters the Nikah. Allah ta’ala says in the Qur’an, And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, Take it and enjoy it with right good cheer [Surah Nisaa: 4] So he should give it willingly and she can forgo it however she cannot be forced to forgo it · Due immediately after nikkah · Amount: Minimum: 10 dirhams-30.618 gr Silver Mehr Fatimi: 1,530 gr Silver – what Ali RA gave to Faatimah RA Mehr Mithl – the amount given to a woman on the bride’s paternal side. Have to consider similarity in age, beauty, virginity, locality, time and wealth Moderation · Mu’ajjal – due immediately after Nikah and Muajjal – delayed. It is a debt to the wife if not pai · Wakeel from the girl’s family Father, brother, uncle – a representative who provides her consent for the groom she has chosen Note: consent of girl necessary. There cannot be a marriage without consent Hadith: Aisha RA reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent before marriage?” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Yes.” I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet said, “Her silence is her consent.” [Bukhari Muslim] · Khutbah Surah Al Imran: 102 O you who believe! Observe your duty to Allah with right observance, and die not save as those who have surrendered (unto Him) Surah Al Nisa: 1 O mankind! Have fear of your Rabb, the One who created you from a single soul, from that soul He created its mate, and through them He spread countless men and women. Fear Allah, the One in whose name you demand your rights from one another and the ties of relationship; surely Allah is watching you very closely. Surah Al Ahzab: 70-71 O believers! Fear Allah and always say the right thing; He will bless your deeds for you, and forgive your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, has truly achieved a great triumph. *Explanations of these verses from Qur’an class at the end of the document · Acceptance from both sides – involves “Ijaab” (offer) and “Qubool” (acceptance) Note: Both Ijaab and Qubool have to be in an audible manner. Woman cannot be forced. A representative of the bride and two witnesses will ask the bride for her permission. This will be relayed to the Imam during the ceremony. The Imam will ask the groom if he accepts the bride in his Nikah. Once he says “yes, I accept”, the Nikah is complete *It is Mustahab to distribute dates Feeding people - there is no rule in Islam that girl side have to feed people. There should be no pomp and show. There should be no extravagance in the whole procedure or anything Haraam like music, free mixing, etc. Sunnah ways is Simplicity Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “The most blessed marriage (nikah) is the one with the least expenses.” Fatimah RA was sent walking to the house of Ali RA accompanied by Umm Ayman RA after a simple Nikah without any pomp and show Waleemah The Waleemah is Sunnah as a sign of gratitude and pleasure therefore the correct Niyyah should be made of following the Sunnah, inviting and feeding people, making them happy, etc. Correct Niyyah should also be made when inviting people as people often invite others because they feel they have to. There should be no ostentation or in competition with others which is contagious and can lead others to emulate. Waleemah can take place after Khalwah or consummation The best Nikah and Waleemah is that which is simple and affordable without unnecessary delays and the Waleemah is the duty of the husband. The more pomp, show, extravagance, etc. the more the stress, disagreements and arguments. People take out loans in order to cover the costs which makes it even more burdensome. The most blessed marriage is the one which is the least burdensome. The principles of Deen should be kept at all times during the arrangements of the Nikah and Waleemah. A compromise can be made for some customs where parents and other close relatives could be very hurt however there is no compromise of that which is forbidden in the Shari’ah. The pandemic situation shows that extravagance can be avoided and simple Nikahs and Waleemahs can be done. Therefore, even after the pandemic we need to go back to the Sunnah. Starting this journey on the right foot with the right Niyyah and the stamp of Sunnah will bring Barakah in the marriage.

Next stage before agreement is reached After finding a compatible prospective spouse the next steps to take the process forward are; · Research - regarding the family, friend circle, colleagues, etc. through someone trustworthy because some people may have some ulterior motive and not provide correct information. The aim is to find out what reputation the prospective spouse has among people This stage is important and can take time. If found to be incompatible thenit is better not to move forward to the next stage · Exchange bios – if parents cannot be approached directly, tell siblings, aunt/uncle or another elder and thereafter exchange bios. Keep it simple and mention if status of passport/visa is a concern · Ask a Mehram to speak with the person · Arrange a family meeting Seeing each other – is permissible however within limits with mahram present, not alone in a room or going out together to “get to know each other” Questions can be asked. One can ask what one is comfortable with. The purpose is to gauge through the discussion if the same goals are being shared and/or how much Deen orientated the person is. As mentioned before, it is extremely important to keep in mind the principles of Deen while meeting and having the discussions. · Make Istikharah – this is a very important part of the process. Making Istikharah and trusting in Allah ta’ala should lead to contentment of the heart so that if things did not go smoothly or did not work out then one knows it is Khayr from Allah ta’ala. Istikharah Du’a O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action ………is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it. A shorter version which can be done at any time, and as often as one wants (though there are recommended numbers) is the following: اللَّهُمَّ خِرْ لِيْ وَاخْتَرْ لِي Allaahumma khirlee wakhtarlee O Allah grant me a choice and choose for me Accept parents and elders’ guidance as they have your best interest at heart Make decision soon and accept outcome · Once proposal accepted, do not delay Nikah and waste time in long engagements (which are not part of Islam). Nikah should be public in a masjid, not secret

What to seek in the prospective spouse Kufu’ – (compatibility) is extremely important in a marriage. There should be compatibility in social standing, lineage, piety, profession, wealth, etc. Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers." (Bukhari) Wealth – men are Qawwamoon, financially responsible for their families regardless of whether the wife is wealthy or not. The husband needs to therefore stand up to his responsibility. When very wealthy men choose women of opposite financial status, it often causes issues. A wealthy woman marrying a man of opposite financial status can also cause issues. The man should be able to provide for her the same level of comfort her father provided. Therefore, there is nothing wrong in seeking a spouse on the same level of wealth, education, profession, etc. to avoid mismatched expectations. Lineage –was very important to the Arabs and is also very much alive today even in Muslim countries i.e. a spouse cannot be a butcher. Our Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam advised a Sahabi RA to marry a woman who was loving and fertile (as procreation is one of the intentions for a marriage). Now how does a man know if a woman is fertile or not? he will look at her lineage, i.e. other women in her family Lineage is not about the caste system of the Hindus. This is about the values families have which sometimes coincide with Deen and sometimes not and which become an innate part of a person’s nature and temperament. Compatibility in this area is important because when one marries, one will be spending a lot of time with the whole family and not just the spouse. Therefore, family values, attitudes, characteristics, etc. should be considered as this will have a great impact on a relationship. “One who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he requests her, and does not dispute him in herself and her wealth in a way he dislikes.” Beauty – Our Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said in a Hadith that Allah ta’ala is beautiful and He loves beauty. He made the world beautiful, even deep under the ocean where we are not likely to go and see. We are also attracted to beauty in the opposite gender and it is physical attraction which drives a person to procreate. However, we know beauty fades so this Kufu’ is downplayed and regarded as less important. Religion – The other three traits are to do with the world which will one day vanish. They have no intrinsic value on their own however their importance cannot be dismissed. The words, “Be victorious with the one in religion” shows the importance of seeking Deen in a spouse. It cannot be ignored and should supersede the other three traits. It is not just the external Deen that one should look at, i.e. hijab, beard, etc. but one should also see if the future spouse lives a Taqwa centred life (having God consciousness in every aspect). When a person fears Allah ta’ala, he/she will be fair, kind, compassionate, will fulfil rights and generally be of good character as a spouse and parent. Conclusion There is a lot of wisdom in the four aspects mentioned in this Hadith. Our Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam considered our intrinsic human nature. Therefore, a person should not feel guilty if they find someone unattractive or for considering the wealth aspect. There is nothing wrong if a person said no to a future spouse due to not finding them attractive even if the person was religious. On the other hand, one should not overlook the other three traits and fall for beauty alone. Beauty without Taqwa can lead to arrogance. Apart from what to look for in a spouse mentioned in the Hadith, there are other important aspects one should consider. Age/Height – its importance depends on the person. If a man can respect a woman older than him or taller than him or a woman can respect a man younger than her and shorter than her, then the relationship can work. However, without respect it would be very hard to live with that person. Therefore, one should consider what generates respect or what can potentially take it away. It would be ok for a woman to say no if the man was shorter or younger than her and this would not be looking down at any physical aspect of a person. We have a beautiful example in our Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam marrying Khadeejah RA who was older than him and who gave total respect, love and support to her husband. Culture – Many people say they do not want any cultural baggage in a spouse however this is an extreme view because a person enriched in cultural background is thought of as backward. Culture is not created by people. Allah ta’ala made nations and tribes for a purpose; so that people may recognise/know each other. Allah ta’ala says in Surah Hujuraat (verse 13), O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware. If people are of totally different cultures, then compatibility should be considered as families are involved and one should ask one’s self if everyone will get along. Social demands and expectations are something we cannot escape and it is unrealistic to say, “I am strong in Deen and do not want cultural baggage” as it is a bit of a paradox and we should not be negative about other people’s cultures. The important thing is we need to be informed of the other person’s cultural expectations before marrying and know what they are getting into. Different cultural backgrounds can be enriching as it can open up minds however it can require more patience. Character – regarding character a person should look at integrity, generosity, etc. and other praiseworthy characteristics as these will be passed on to the children. As for blameworthy characteristics, lying leads to spouses losing trust which leads to relationships going sour. Madhab – Muslim men can marry Christian or Jewish women because they have influence over how the children are brought up though it is discouraged and even regarded sinful by some Scholars if the men are living in non-Muslim countries where there would be greater danger of safeguarding one’s Imaan. Muslim women can only marry Muslim men therefore, they may have to decide if they wish to marry men form different Madhaahib or choose between Salafism and Deobandism. This can lead to each spouse saying certain things are Bid’ah, Kufr or prohibited according to what they believe. To say, “I don’t care what Madhab the spouse follows” can lead to breakdown in the relationship due to practical implications. It can be difficult when husband and wife follow different Fiqh due to the differences between Madhaahib in everyday rulings i.e. bleeding negates Wudhu in the Hanafi Fiqh and not in the Shafi’ee Fiqh. Touching the opposite gender in the Shafi’ee Fiqh negates Wudhu and not in the Hanafi Fiqh. Then the question will arise regarding which Fiqh the children will follow. Conclusion There are many aspects to consider when choosing a spouse and to seek perfection in every aspect is unrealistic. The reality is that no one is perfect and we also are not perfect. Remember that marriage is two imperfect people working perfectly to make a marriage work Marry for the betterment of Religion When asked what kind of wealth should be acquired, Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “Let one of you acquire a thankful heart, a tongue that remembers Allah and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.” (Ibn Majah) Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhiw asallam said, “Do not marry women for their beauty for it may lead to their doom. Do not marry them for their wealth, for it may lead them to fall into sin. Rather, marry them for their religion. A black slave woman with piercings who is religious is better.” These Hadith show that concentrating on only one aspect of Kufu’ is detrimental. Only Taqwa deserves this space and marrying for the right reasons brings blessings. Beauty is only skin deep. It can be that it is pleasing to the eye but not to the heart. If something of the world is not polished by Deen, it leads to ruin. Without Taqwa, beauty can lead to arrogance and wealth can be a Fitnah and a test. It can therefore be destructive and ruin relationships. A woman should also look for piety, good character and his ability to a maintain family.

Before Nikah True love is in Nikah Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam said, “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another” (Ibn Majah) This hadith teaches us that there is nothing that creates true and lasting love between two people of the opposite gender, except Nikah. Love outside Nikah will not last in the world and will be a source of anguish in the world and in the Aakhirah. Potential spouses seeing each other Islam commands us to lower our gaze and forbids looking at non-mahram. This is in order to purify people’s souls and protect their honour. There are, however, certain exceptions in which it is permissible to look at a non-mahram woman for reasons of necessity, one of which is in the case of proposing marriage, because it is the basis on which a very important decision affecting a person’s life will be taken. Imaam al-Nawawi (Rahimahullah) said in Rawdat al-Taalibeen wa ‘Umdat al-Mufteen (7, 19-20): “When (a man) wants to marry (a woman), it is preferable (mustahabb) for him to look at her so that he will have no regrets. According to another view, it is not preferable but it is allowed. The first view is correct because of the ahaadeeth, and it is permitted to look repeatedly, with or without her permission. If it is not easy to look at her, he may send a woman to check her out and describe her to him. A woman may also look at a man if she wants to marry him, for she will like in him what he likes in her. What is permissible for him to look at is the face and hands, front and back. He should not look at anything else.” All four schools of thought recommend looking at the prospective spouse even if there are feelings of sexual desire. There should be a sincere Niyyah for marriage and following the Sunnah and keeping in mind the principles of Deen throughout the occasion. The couple cannot sit in Khalwah. If necessary than the door of the room the couple sit should be left open. There should be no touching or revealing of Awrah. She should dress normally and not be dressed up. In the following Hadith the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam told the Sahabi RA to go and look at the woman as “It is more likely to create love between both of you”. This indicates the importance of internal and external attraction and external attraction is critical in maintaining a relationship between spouses. The eyes are conduits to the heart and as we have learnt, there are neurons involved. Therefore, looking at each other can create love though it is dangerous in another context. Other Hadith regarding looking at prospective spouses: From Abu Hurayrah RA: “I was with the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. The Messenger of Allah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.” [Muslim] This teaches us that to inform someone of a person’s defect in the process of marriage is not backbiting. From Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah RA: “The Messenger of Allah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said: ‘If one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at her to see that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.’ I proposed marriage to a young woman, and I used to hide where I could see her, until I saw that which encouraged me to go ahead and marry her, so I did so.’” [Abu Dawood] Looking secretly does not mean looking through a window while the woman may not be dressed appropriately. It refers to looking at her without letting her know when she is outdoors in regular clothing to see how she behaves and interacts. There should be no unnecessary delaying as the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “If someone approaches you (with a proposal) and his religion (piety) and character is pleasing to you, then get him married. If you do not do so, there will be trials (fitnah) and chaos (fasad) on the earth…” [Tirmidhi] This slide shows the different outcome of following the Islamic model and dating when looking for a spouse. In our age there is so much more than previous times; confusion about person’s gender, premarital cohabitation, children through Zinaa, and improper use of technology and social media. Nowadays the question, “How can I marry someone I don’t know” is very common. Wanting to communicate and meet without chaperones to get to know each other is taken very lightly and unfortunately, in these situations, women are often taken advantage of and left with tarnished reputations and broken hearts. The reality is that one can never know anyone through such meetings. Only Allah ta’ala is the knower of the unseen and Barakah, peace, love mercy and His help will come with following the Islamic model of finding a spouse, i.e. to get information about what common goals can be shared, compatibility, etc. through others and thereafter doing Istikharah and relying on Allah ta’ala for guidance instead of having multiple meetings without a chaperone. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “No person (man) should be alone with a woman except when there is a Mahram with her” [Bukhari & Muslim] Everyone has issues in relationships and especially in a marriage. Faults will open up later however by that time Allah ta’ala puts love between spouses and both have heavily invested in the relationship and the relationship will be protected. Success therefore comes only in following the Islamic model of finding a spouse. In any situation, following the principles set out in our Deen keeps a person safe. Whether a matchmaking business is used in the search for a spouse or it is arranged by elder family members, one should ensure that the principles of Deen are not compromised. A man or a woman should not send a direct proposal to the future spouse. It should be done through parents or elders. We have the perfect example in Khadeejah RA who despite being an intelligent, successful and confident woman, sent the proposal of marriage to our Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam through someone else and did not approach him directly though he worked for her. This also shows there is no shame in the proposal coming from the woman. It is culture which puts shame on this however culture can be followed if it is not against Deen. Giving less value to Deen and putting culture above it is not appropriate. Parental blessing is very important so one should ask one’s self why parents are refusing a match. They have experience and wisdom and have our best interests at heart. Their blessings and Du’a seal the Barakah in a marriage. Their advice and arrangements should be valued. We should not trust our instinct alone as our emotions can blind us to the practicalities of life. However, if parents are being unfairly stubborn where they have set a goal for their child to marry a particular type of person or if they have cultural bias where they do not consider anyone outside their home towns or overlook the Deen of a person in favour of culture and one fears sin, then one should politely refuse and consult other elders in the family or an Imam. One should not disobey parents but should remember the principle of Deen, “There is no obedience of creation over the obedience of Allah ta’ala” “Arranged” marriages have been given a bad reputation in our age by being given the connotation of “force”. It does not mean force or being coerced. There is no force in marriage in Islam. It is a suggestion which is given consideration with final approval from the person searching a spouse. This system worked well until some years ago after which people refused to consider such suggestions. It would be foolish to reject these proposals outright. They should at least be considered knowing that final approval is theirs. It has been recognised that change is possible once it is understood why a person behaves as he/she does and for us as Muslim women, we know Allah ta’ala has given us the ability to choose who we are because we have been given the ability to change.

Roles & Responsibilites towards each other Both the husband and wife have duties and responsibilities towards each other. Duties of the husband A man asked the Prophet, “What are the right of the woman over her husband?” He said, “That he should feed her as he feeds himself and clothe her as he clothes himself; he should not strike her on the face nor disfigure her, and he should not abandon her except in the house (as a form of discipline).” (Ibn Majah) "The best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives” (Tirmidhi) It is the husband’s responsibility to provide for his wife – food, clothes and shelter- according to his means even if the wife is rich and has her own money. He must also provide household items and her personal items. It is also his duty to treat her well with justice. Regarding living quarters, he must provide something where she has privacy if the couple are living with others i.e. a room within the house where no one enters Women are made from the Rib The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhiw asallam said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women." (Bukhari) The ribs play a very important part in our body protecting the vital organs of the body. They are made from bone and cartilage which helps in expanding and detracting during respiration. The characteristics of women are very similar to how the rib is. As women we change roles as we go along i.e. mother, wife, sister, daughter, teacher, etc. We are resilient, flexible and accommodating. We are shock absorbers who help our spouses and children in times of anxiety. Many women are above their heads in stress yet still carry on. Allah ta’ala gives this strength and has made us so we are conducive to who we are in life so this should make us confident however we should seek His help and make Du’a for ease. Men ar Caretakers of women Allah says in Surah NIsaa', verse 34, "Men are overseers over women because Allah has given the one more strength than other, and because men are required to spend their wealth for the maintenance of women" قَوَّام is an intensive form of verb and قائِم is one who is responsible / caretaker of everything. The form قَوَّام is more comprehensive than قائِم. It combines the physical protection and financial maintenance as well as moral responsibility a man has over his family. Therefore, it means men shall take full care of women, mentally, physically and financially regardless of whether he likes it or not. It does not have anything to do with men treating women like they are masters and women are slaves. The standard role of a man regarding women has been mentioned in this verse however we all know women can become queens of their homes too but because Allah ta’ala has given men this responsibility as a primary caretaker of the household, then we need to give respect to that rule. There will be discord when women step into this role as some women (especially as a first born who was given responsibilities) step into this role after marriage. In any organisation or system, big or small, there can be only one Imam. There cannot be two Imams making decisions at the same time. Allah ta’ala, in His infinite wisdom selected men for this responsibility because it is in their natural capability. Women who understand this will be confident of the roles given to men and women by Allah ta’ala as our Deen is designed to make every aspect of our lives successful. Having no rules or boundaries and following the Nafs leads to broken homes. Men also often get frustrated with some of the habits of women especially those related to the monthly cycle of women. Though we are made that way by Allah ta’ala, it does not give us the right to be disrespectful. We should take an account of ourselves and try to be less emotional. Having said that it is not fair of husbands to demand their wives to be less emotional or for their wives to be any particular way because just as a rib cannot bend any further than what Allah ta’ala has designated, women too are created a certain way and cannot be changed further than what Allah ta’ala has designated. Duties of the wife It is Waajib for the wife to be obedient to her husband except when he orders you to disobey Allah as there is no obedience to anyone in the disobedience to Allah. She must guard her chastity and his possessions when he is away She should look after the household duties and children while the husband works. This does not mean she is his slave. She should do it with love to please Allah. Rule regarding housework If the wife comes from a home where they employed someone to cook, clean, etc. then it is Waajib on the husband to employ someone for her to do the housework. If she comes from a home where the women of the house did the housework then he does not have to employ someone for her to do the housework. Respect for the Husband Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “It is not appropriate for anyone to prostrate to anyone else. If it were appropriate for anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have instructed the wife to prostrate to her husband, because of the great rights that Allah has given him over her.” Pleasing Husband leads to Jannah “Any woman who passes away and her husband is pleased with her will enter Jannah” (Tirmidhi) “If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes.” Someone asked, which of women is best? Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he tells her to do something, and does not disobey him with regard to herself or her wealth in a way that he dislikes.” (Nasai) Allah designated the Roles & Responsibilities Allah ta’ala gives roles to those who are best at them. We as women need to be very content that our role is designed by Allah ta’ala because He is all-Wise and All-Knowing. We should be confident that this is what we need to perfect our Imaan. We are the future of the Ummah and we can change our Ummah with our character. We need to play the roles given to us by Allah ta’ala and Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam and stop being what other people want us to be. Advises for the wife Be loyal Do not be disobedient Dress up/perfume yourself for husband Do not demand clothes, jewellery, etc. especially of he cannot afford it Do not use foul language, anger or remind the husband about favours you may have done or mistakes he may have made Be polite and serve his parents and family – treat them as your own Polygamy It is permissible for a man to have up to four wives however he must treat then with justice and equality in everything. All his wives will have the same rights over him

Benefits of Nikah Allah ta'ala says in Surah Room, verse 21 وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَـَٔايَـٰتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ And of His signs, another one is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may find rest with them, and He planted love and mercy in your hearts; surely there are signs in this for those who think about it. Nikah is a manifestation of the power and might of Allah ta’ala as Allah ta’ala says from among His signs is that He has created wives (أَزْوَاج) for them from among themselves. Therefore, when people marry, the couple are a walking, talking sign of Allah ta’ala and so we should exist as such by presenting to the world a beautiful sign. We would be betraying this verse if we live contrary to this. Three things are mentioned in this verse as a benefit of Nikah, Sukoon (tranquillity), Mawaddah (love) and Rahmah (mercy). These three things can only be found in the sacred bond of Nikah. The lives of two people together without this sacred bond will be void of these three things سُكُون – tranquillity, comes with understanding each other’s rights and responsibilities towards each other. If we proclaim only our rights, it will not lead to Sukoon and instead will lead to fights. مَوَدَّة is intense longing – there are different types of love. The love between spouses is an affectionate, two-sided love with both physical and emotional intimacy. Both love each other and support and look out for each other’s welfare. رَحْمَة is compassion/mercy – love alone cannot be the driving force in a marriage. Certain commentators have mentioned that the word “love” refers specifically to the early stages of a marriage physical love is dominant. With time it diminishes and is replaced by mercy/compassion as the couple age together and care for each other. Therefore, for a successful marriage, both love and mercy are necessary. For a successful marriage, both love and mercy as well as forgiveness are necessary. Allah ta’ala overlooks and forgives our mistakes and give us other chances despite the deficiency in our worship and shortcomings in our deeds. He forgives even when we are not deserving. The spouses should similarly overlook and forgive each other even when not deserving. We expect our spouses to be our dream come true, but how many of us are dream-servants of our Lord? Modern Muslim women complain that the Qur’an is only for men however there are subtle points hidden in the verses. Here Allah ta’ala says He has created wives so that the men may find peace. This shows the power of women as women control whether the home is peaceful or otherwise. She can be a source of peace if she herself is at peace. Women are expressive and their feelings are reflected in the home and with their husbands and children. Therefore, if men wish for their wives to be a source of peace then treating them well will ensure they are at peace which will be reflected in the home. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “After fear for Allah, the believer cannot receive a boon greater than a good wife. If he instructs her to do something, she obeys, and she pleases him when he looks at her. If he takes an oath, she aids him to fulfil the oath and, if he has to be out, she takes care of her chastity and his property.” [Mishkat] The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “No believing man should detest his believing wife. If he dislikes some trait in her, he should then take a liking to another trait.” [Muslim] Spouses are a Garment for each other Allah says in Surah Baqarah, verse 187 هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ - they are as a garment for you, and you are as a garment for them • Garments cover the Satr – similarly the spouses should cover each other’s faults and shortcomings • Garments safeguards against elements – spouses should be a protection for each other in every way; financially, emotionally and intimately. They should be a protection for each other’s Imaan. • Modesty – as garments are a means of modesty (Hayaa), spouses should be a means of protection of chastity • Beauty/Honour – as garments are a means of beatification and honour for a person, spouses should be a source of honour and beauty for each other • Pleasure – as wearing garments bring happiness, spouses should be a source of happiness when they look at each other • Intimacy – garments are closest to a person’s skin so similarly spouses should have a close relationship

Encouragment of Nikah (Marriage) Nikah is extremely important. It is a 24 hour ‘Ibaadah (worship) which includes the mundane and has tremendous potential of reward for both the husband and the wife. It is a Sunnah of all the previous Ambiyaa AS and our Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam who stressed on Nikah and practically showed us by his example (exceptions are ‘Isaa AS who will marry when he returns to earth before the Day of Judgment and Yahya AS) Nikah is part of Sunnah Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “Marriage is part of my sunnah and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me” (Ibn Majah) A group of young men told to marry if they have the means or fast “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will diminish his desire.” (Ibn Majah) Nikah perfects a person's Imaan "Whoever Allah provides witha righteous wife, Allah has assisted him in half of religion. Let him fear Allah regarding the second half" (Bayhaqi) This Hadith is sometimes misinterpreted however Muhadditheen say Nikah is Takmeerul Imaan, it perfects a person’s Imaan. This Hadith highlights the importance of Nikah and the influence it has on a person’s social and spiritual life. Some say Nikah helps allocate a person’s sexual desire in a Halaal way. Imam Ghazali (Rahimahullah) says the sexual organs and the stomach are the most destructive factors to a person’s Imaan. So this desire is curbed with Nikah and the other half, the stomach, can be curbed by eating less. Nikah is not contrary to Taqwa Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (ﷺ). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: "Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (ﷺ) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins". One of them said: "As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long." Another said: "I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it". Another said: "I shall abstain from women and shall never marry". The Prophet (ﷺ) came to them and said, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me". (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) The concept of marriage is highly emphasised in this Hadith. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam removes the false notion that marriage, having children, eating, sleeping, etc. are contrary to Taqwa. Our Deen has made it easy for us to live as Believers 24 hours a day. A person being “not from” our Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam is a very serious matter. It is tantamount to Kufr. Not marrying without a valid reason is going against the Sunnah and detrimental to one’s Imaan. Even worse is to reject the notion of marriage i.e. saying celibacy is better than marriage. Other religions regard celibacy as the highest stage of relationship with Allah ta’ala (priesthood, nuns, monks). It is Allah ta’ala Who has put feelings of desire in humans and He gives a solution for it through marriage. Choosing this option will aid in piety and devotion to Allah ta’ala.

Understanding Relationships & Marriage Notes from course by Zaynab Institute This course is about dealing with and upholding rights of others which is one of the things we will be questioned about. Allah ta’ala is Just and commands His slave to be just "Relationships are often a struggle as everyone is different however everyone is meant to be different" "It is a matter of understanding that difference along with learning how to reduce conflict and how to deal with different types of people and different relationships" INDEX 1. Encouragment to Marry 2. Benefits of Nikah & Spouses are a Garment for each other 3. Roles & Responsibilities towards each other 4. Before Nikah 5. What to seek in a propective spouse 6. Next stage before agreement is reached 7. The Nikah & Waleemah 8. Romance in Marriage 9. Children 10. Other Relationships / Inlaws 11. Equality in Judgment 12. Physiological Differences 13. Marriage is not about demading rights only 14. The Love Languages 15. Different Love Styles 16. Emotional Intelligence in the Seerah 17. The Secure Connector - الْوَاصِلُ 18. Troublespots & Final Advice May Allah ta'ala accept from us