ummtaalib

According to each side they are dealing with crazy...

Pregnancy, Fasting and Fidya Question I am 3 months pregnant. I cannot fast because I am weak due to the fact that I cannot eat a lot. Can I give Fidyah? Answer If you have been advised by a Muslim gynaecologist or doctor that fasting will endanger your life or the life of your baby, then you may leave out the fasts. You will then have to observe the aadhaa of these fasts when you are clean after the pregnancy. Fidyah is only for those who leave out the fast because of a sickness, and do not have hope of ever recovering from that sickness. In fact, even if such a person who had no hope of recovery paid the Fidyah and thereafter recovered, he or she will have to observe qadhaa of the missed fasts. Fidyah is also for those who due to old age cannot observe the fast. Source

Pregnant women fasting My question is regarding my wifes pregnancy and fasting. My wife is 7.5 months pregnant and we have decided that she doesnt fast this year because its the main stage for her pregnancy and it could be a risk. So how much money or people do we feed for every fast. Answer: In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful. If a woman is in her early stages of her pregnancy and by fasting it would not affect the health of the mother and nor of the unborn child then it is obligatory upon her to fast. However, if the woman genuinely fears harm or sickness for herself or for the unborn child only then it is permissible for her not to fast. There must have been a previous experience where at that time in her pregnancy it affected her or the unborn child’s health. Also if a god fearing qualified Muslim doctor advises her not to fast then she is also exempt from fasting. (Fatawa Hindiyyah p.207 v.1) With regards to your question, after she gives birth and she has recovered and is clean from her postnatal bleeding it is obligatory for her to do qadha of the fasts of Ramadhan. She will not be allowed to give compensation for the missed fasts. Compensation for missed fasts (fidyah) is given by those who cannot fast at all such as a very old man or woman where there is no hope of him getting better. (Maraqi Falah p.453) The conclusion to the answer is that it is obligatory for your wife to do qadha of her fast. Only Allah Knows Best Mohammed Tosir Miah Darul Ifta Birmingham. Source

Pregnant Women & Fasting Advice from an observant Muslim OBGYN who has advised many pregnant and nursing women during Ramadan Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari & Ustadha Sulma Badrudduja Question: I know for many women who breast feed, they need to keep hydrated so that they are able to produce milk to feed their child. What do you suggestion one should do when wanting to fast but yet still breast feeding? What suggestions can you give for a woman in this situation in order to benefit the most from Ramadan? Answer: The normal case is that Muslim women who are pregnant and nursing must fast. They should also take the means to ensure this. Shaykh Faraz Rabbani has outlined from Ibn `Abidin’s Radd al-Muhtar the case of when a pregnant or nursing woman is exempt from fasting. She may leave fasting if she has a good reason to fear harm for herself or her child. This is through 1. advice from reliable Muslim medical opinion (or a non-Muslim medical opinion if it confirm’s one’s own good reason for fear) 2. previous experience 3. or clear and unmistakable signs It’s very important that women observe how their bodies react to fasting and not ignore obvious warning signs. Sometimes one can see two extremes when it comes to pregnancy/lactation and fasting. Either women automatically assume they cannot fast when pregnant or lactating, and they make no effort to see how their bodies will handle the fast. Or they fast and ignore all warning signs until their health is actually compromised. This is not the way it should be. Women need to strike a balance and understand that every woman’s experience will be different. Some sisters have shown that they have been able to fast while pregnant and lactating. Other sisters, however, simply cannot fast and maintain good health during pregnancy or sufficient milk supply during lactation. In this case, women should keep track of the days they miss and plan to make them up later. Again, being in tune with one’s body is really important. Looking out for obvious warning signs does not mean women should wait until they’ve landed in the hospital. What it does mean is that they have to check things like the frequency and color of their urine, frequency and consistency of stools, and the presence of any type of contractions when pregnant. When nursing, they should also look at the frequency and color of their urine, and be aware of the color of their milk, its quantity, the strength of their let-down reflex, and their baby’s state: contented vs. agitated. Clear warning signs include: 1. dark urine (when pregnant or nursing) 2. constipation (when pregnant or nursing) 3. cramps and contractions (for pregnant women) 4. nausea 5. dizziness 6. a baby who seems agitated, that is, it’s clear that no matter how often you nurse the baby, she or he is not calming down At the first sign of trouble, it’s permitted to break your fast and make up the days later. Please note that this advice comes from an observant Muslim OBGYN who has advised many pregnant and nursing women during Ramadan. In the end, pregnant and nursing women who are not able fasting can still do many things to make the most of their Ramadan. Ramadan is a time when one draws closer to Allah — and this can be done in many forms. She may perform the tarawih prayer, extra prayers and recite Qur’an. She can also do acts of charity and service for others. In addition to the outward forms of worship, many scholars have stressed the importance of inner acts of worship, such as reflecting on one’s bad habits and working steadily towards eliminating them. And Allah knows best, Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq & Sulma Badrudduja (This is an answer combined from two replies to the specific question. Originally answered on the SeekersGuidance Ramadan Course Forum.) Source

Fasting during pregnancy, and the issue of relying on ‘expert medical opinion’ Can you please clarify if I am not going to be fasting in this coming month of Ramadan because of my pregnancy, apart from making up my fasts I want to feed a poor person throughout Ramadan too. What is the ruling on this and how much will I need to pay in pounds for a sufficient feed? Answer: I pray that this finds you well, and in the best of health and spirits. May Allah grant you all good and success in this life and the next. The default is that all adult Muslims are responsible to fast the month of Ramadan. This obligation is only lifted in particular circumstances, with the conditions that Allah and His Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) have specified. Pregnant women and those nursing their child are responsible to fast except if there is reasonable fear of undue hardship or for either their health or the health of the child. Undue hardship is hardship that is normally unbearable or difficult to bear. Reasonable fear requires a basis. This basis is either: (a) past experience — such as having tried to fast, while taking the means to be able to, and finding unbearable hardship in doing so; (b) clear signs — such that anyone who sees such a situation would say that one is unable to fast; (c) expert opinion of an upright Muslim doctor who knows the fiqh limits related to such situations. Given that this is not the case with most Muslim doctors do not know the fiqh limits of medical cases, one treats their opinion like that of a non-Muslim doctor — one takes their opinion and then one exercises judgment as to whether one’s situation constitutes ‘undue hardship’ or not. Thus, in most circumstances (unless one knows the Muslim doctor to have reliable understanding of the fiqh of medical issues) one can’t simply take a doctor’s word; rather, one must then judge whether one’s situation entails ‘undue hardship.’ If unsure whether one’s situation entails undue hardship, one should begin fasting — after taking care to attend to one’s nutritional needs properly — and then try to complete the fast. If one then experiences difficulty during the day, then one can break the fast without dislike. If unable to fast, there is no expiation required in the Hanafi school. However, one must make up the missed fasts And Allah alone gives success. Faraz Rabbani Source قال الإمام الكاساني في بدائع الصنائع: وَأَمَّا حَبَلُ الْمَرْأَةِ وَإِرْضَاعُهَا : إذَا خَافَتَا الضَّرَرَ بِوَلَدِهِمَا فَمُرَخَّصٌ لقوله تعالى { : فَمَنْ كَانَ مِنْكُمْ مَرِيضًا أَوْ عَلَى سَفَرٍ فَعِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَ } . وَقَدْ بَيَّنَّا أَنَّهُ لَيْسَ الْمُرَادُ عَيْنَ الْمَرَضِ , فَإِنَّ الْمَرِيضَ الَّذِي لَا يَضُرُّهُ الصَّوْمُ لَيْسَ لَهُ أَنْ يُفْطِرَ فَكَانَ ذِكْرُ الْمَرَضِ كِنَايَةً عَنْ أَمْرٍ يَضُرُّ الصَّوْمُ مَعَهُ . وَقَدْ وُجِدَ هَهُنَا فَيَدْخُلَانِ تَحْتَ رُخْصَةِ الْإِفْطَارِ قال شيخ الإسلام المرغيناني في الهداية: ( وَالْحَامِلُ وَالْمُرْضِعُ إذَا خَافَتَا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمَا أَوْ وَلَدَيْهِمَا أَفْطَرَتَا وَقَضَتَا ) دَفْعًا لِلْحَرَجِ قال الإمام الحصكفي في الدر المختار: فَصْلٌ فِي الْعَوَارِضِ الْمُبِيحَةِ لِعَدَمِ الصَّوْمِ وَقَدْ ذَكَرَ الْمُصَنِّفُ مِنْهَا خَمْسَةً وَبَقِيَ الْإِكْرَاهُ وَخَوْفُ هَلَاكٍ أَوْ نُقْصَانُ عَقْلٍ وَلَوْ بِعَطَشٍ أَوْ جُوعٍ شَدِيدٍ وَلَسْعَةِ حَيَّةٍ ( لِمُسَافِرٍ ) سَفَرًا شَرْعِيًّا وَلَوْ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ ( أَوْ حَامِلٍ أَوْ مُرْضِعٍ ) أُمًّا كَانَتْ أَوْ ظِئْرًا عَلَى ظَاهِرِ ( خَافَتْ بِغَلَبَةِ الظَّنِّ عَلَى نَفْسِهَا أَوْ وَلَدِهَا ) … بِأَمَارَةٍ أَوْ تَجْرِبَةٍ أَوْ بِأَخْبَارِ طَبِيبٍ حَاذِقٍ مُسْلِمٍ مَسْتُورٍ ….( الْفِطْر ) يَوْمَ الْعُذْرِ إلَّا السَّفَرَ كَمَا سَيَجِيءُ ( وَقَضَوْا ) لُزُومًا ( مَا قَدَّرُوا بِلَا فِدْيَةٍ وَ ) بِلَا ( وَلَاءٍ ) لِأَنَّهُ عَلَى التَّرَاخِي وَلِذَا جَازَ التَّطَوُّعُ قَبْلَهُ بِخِلَافِ قَضَاءِ الصَّلَاةِ . قال ابن عابدين (رحمه الله تعالى) في رد المحتار: ( قَوْلُهُ بِغَلَبَةِ الظَّنِّ ) تُنَازِعُهُ خَافَ الَّذِي فِي الْمَتْنِ وَخَافَ وَخَافَتْ اللَّتَانِ فِي الشَّرْحِ ط ( قَوْلُهُ بِأَمَارَةٍ ) أَيْ عَلَامَةٍ ( قَوْلُهُ أَوْ تَجْرِبَةٍ ) وَلَوْ كَانَتْ مِنْ غَيْرِ الْمَرِيضِ عِنْدَ اتِّحَادِ الْمَرَضِ ط عَنْ أَبِي السُّعُودِ ( قَوْلُهُ حَاذِقٍ ) أَيْ لَهُ مَعْرِفَةٌ تَامَّةٌ فِي الطِّبِّ , فَلَا يَجُوزُ تَقْلِيدُ مَنْ لَهُ أَدْنَى مَعْرِفَةٍ فِيهِ ط ( قَوْلُهُ مُسْلِمٍ ) أَمَّا الْكَافِرُ فَلَا يُعْتَمَدُ عَلَى قَوْلِهِ لِاحْتِمَالِ أَنَّ غَرَضَهُ إفْسَادُ الْعِبَادَةِ كَمُسْلِمٍ شَرَعَ فِي الصَّلَاةِ بِالتَّيَمُّمِ فَوَعَدَهُ بِإِعْطَاءِ الْمَاءِ فَإِنَّهُ لَا يَقْطَعُ الصَّلَاةَ لِمَا قُلْنَا بَحْرٌ ( قَوْلُهُ مَسْتُورٍ ) وَقِيلَ عَدَالَتُهُ شَرْطٌ وَجَزَمَ بِهِ الزَّيْلَعِيُّ وَظَاهِرُ مَا فِي الْبَحْرِ وَالنَّهْرِ ضَعْفُهُ ط . قُلْت : وَإِذَا أَخَذَ بِقَوْلِ طَبِيبٍ لَيْسَ فِيهِ هَذِهِ الشُّرُوطُ وَأَفْطَرَ فَالظَّاهِرُ لُزُومُ الْكَفَّارَةِ كَمَا لَوْ أَفْطَرَ بِدُونِ أَمَارَةٍ وَلَا تَجْرِبَةٍ لِعَدَمِ غَلَبَةِ الظَّنِّ وَالنَّاسُ عَنْهُ غَافِلُونَ ( قَوْلُهُ وَأَفَادَ فِي النَّهْرِ ) أَخْذًا مِنْ تَعْلِيلِ الْمَسْأَلَةِ السَّابِقَةِ بِاحْتِمَالِ أَنْ يَكُونَ غَرَضُ الْكَافِرِ إفْسَادَ الْعِبَادَةِ . وَعِبَارَةُ الْبَحْرِ وَفِيهِ إشَارَةٌ إلَى أَنَّ الْمَرِيضَ يَجُوزُ لَهُ أَنْ يَسْتَطِبَّ بِالْكَافِرِ فِيمَا عَدَا إبْطَالَ الْعِبَادَةِ ط … ( قَوْلُهُ وَقَضَوْا ) أَيْ مَنْ تَقَدَّمَ حَتَّى الْحَامِلُ وَالْمُرْضِعُ . وَغَلَّبَ الذُّكُورَ فَأَتَى بِضَمِيرِهِمْ ط ( قَوْلُهُ بِلَا فِدْيَةٍ ) أَشَارَ إلَى خِلَافِ الْإِمَامِ الشَّافِعِيِّ رحمه الله تعالى حَيْثُ قَالَ : بِوُجُوبِ الْقَضَاءِ وَالْفِدْيَةِ لِكُلِّ يَوْمٍ مُدُّ حِنْطَةٍ كَمَا فِي الْبَدَائِعِ ( قَوْلُهُ وَبِلَا وِلَاءٍ ) بِكَسْرِ الْوَاوِ أَيْ مُوَالَاةً بِمَعْنَى الْمُتَابَعَةِ لِإِطْلَاقِ قوله تعالى : – { فَعِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَ } – وَلَا خِلَافَ فِي وُجُوبِ التَّتَابُعِ فِي أَدَاءِ رَمَضَانَ كَمَا لَا خِلَافَ فِي نَدْبِ التَّتَابُعِ فِيمَا لَمْ يُشْتَرَطْ فِيهِ وَتَمَامُهُ فِي النَّهْرِ ( قَوْلُهُ لِأَنَّهُ ) أَيْ قَضَاءُ الصَّوْمِ الْمَفْهُومُ مِنْ قَضَوْا وَهَذَا عِلَّةٌ لِمَا فُهِمَ مِنْ قَوْلِهِ وَبِلَا وِلَاءٍ مِنْ عَدَمِ وُجُوبِ الْفَوْرِ قال الإمام أبو الإخلاص الشرنبلالي في حاشيته على الدرر: ( قَوْلُهُ خَافَتْ ) الْمُرَادُ بِالْخَوْفِ غَلَبَةُ الظَّنِّ بِتَجْرِبَةٍ أَوْ بِإِخْبَارِ طَبِيبٍ حَاذِقٍ مُسْلِمٍ غَيْرِ ظَاهِرِ الْفِسْقِ , وَقِيلَ عَدَالَتُهُ شَرْطٌ كَذَا فِي الْبَحْرِ وَجَزَمَ بِهِ فِي الْبُرْهَانِ فَقَالَ : وَطَرِيقُ مَعْرِفَتِهِ الِاجْتِهَادُ فَإِذَا غَلَبَ عَلَى ظَنِّهِ أَفْطَرَ , وَكَذَا إذَا أَخْبَرَهُ طَبِيبٌ حَاذِقٌ عَدْلٌ ا هـ . وَلَمْ يَذْكُرْ مَفْعُولَ الْخَوْفِ لِيَشْمَلَ غَيْرَ الْهَلَاكِ لِمَا قَالَ فِي الْبَزَّازِيَّةِ خَافَتْ الْحَامِلُ عَلَى نَفْسِهَا أَوْ وَلَدِهَا نُقْصَانَ الْعَقْلِ أَوْ الْهَلَاكَ أَفْطَرَتْ

Pregnant Women Fasting? If a woman is pregnant and does not fast, but gives the fidya to the poor, does she still have to make her missed prayers? there are so many people out there who tell me that if you give the money you don’t have to make up the fasts. Answer: Walaikum assalam, I pray this finds you in the best of health and spirits. [1] It is established that unperformed fasts (whether with or without excuse) are obligatory to make up. Giving the expiatory payments (fidya) does not lift the duty of making up the fast. (Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar) [2] One only leaves fasting due to pregnancy or nursing if there is good reason to fear harm for the mother or baby–based on experience; or reliable Muslim medical opinion (or a non-Muslim’s medical judgment that confirms for one that there is “good reason to fear harm); or clear and unmistakable signs. (ibid) What one should do is attempt to fast, while taking the means to be able to (in terms of fulfilling one’s nutritional and other needs in the night hours). Then, if one finds any undue difficulty therein, one should stop. If this happens a few times, one can assume one is unable to fast, unless circumstances change. And Allah alone gives success. Wassalam, Faraz Rabbani.

Things Women on Menses can do in Ramadan FAQ's - Women Ramadhaan and Women Pregnancy/Nursing & Fasting I'itikaaf for Women

Fasting in the Light of the Sunnah Rulings pertaining to Fasting Saum.pdf

Articles Read Question/Answers Having problems with your cycle? Confused? Ask a question A dedicated team is available to answer all matters related to menstruation (hayd), post-natal bleeding (nifas) and irregular bleeding (istihada). Each question will be answered and verified by trusted members of the Menstrual Matters team.

Menstrual Matters is a project of Whitethread, under the guidance of Mufti Abdur-Rahman Mangera, with the objective of educating women on menstruation and post-natal bleeding, as well as other related subjects. VISIT THE WEBSITE HERE Dr Mufti Abdur-Rahman Mangera established Whitethread Institute with the express purpose of enhancing educational pathways for Muslim scholars. It now serves the important role of allowing scholars to synthesize between modern-day challenges and traditional texts. The Menstrual Matters Project is the latest initiative to emerge from Whitethread, with the objective of educating women on menstruation and post-natal bleeding, as well as other related subjects. Empowered with this knowledge, they will be able to execute their sacred devotions in accordance with the Shari‘ah.

agreed (for now) as it can easily surface again

Randomly choosing from different Mazhabs Q: Why do the Ulama say that we need to stick to one mazhab? Can't one apply one's personal understanding and reasoning in choosing the view of the mazhab which one regards correct? https://ecp.yusercontent.com/mail?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmuftionline.co.za%2Fb.jpg&t=1616258361&ymreqid=1e76d8aa-a6f0-66f7-1c61-720001014200&sig=n6Rtb33dZQNDKMxmLue8rg--~D A: In principle, we believe and accept that all four mazhabs are on Haq. Similarly, each mazhab has their proofs which are supported from the Qur'aan and Sunnah. However, hopping from one Mazhab to another is generally done for one of two reasons. Either one randomly chooses the ruling of another Mazhab for one's personal ease and benefit, or one chooses the ruling of another mazhab based on one's discretion and personal understanding. Randomly choosing from different Mazhabs for one's personal ease and benefit is incorrect as it leads to following one's desires. Following one's desires has been strongly condemned in the Qur'aan. Allah Ta'ala states: وَلَا تَتَّبِعِ الْهَوَى فَيُضِلَّكَ عَن سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ Do not follow your desires for that will cause you to go astray (Surah Sawd 38:26) On the other hand, if one chooses the ruling of another mazhab based on one's discretion and personal understanding, then this approach will also be incorrect. The reason for this approach being incorrect is that in order for one to be able to understand the full merit of the rulings of each Mazhab, one will need to possess knowledge equal to the knowledge of these Imaams. One will need to have extensive knowledge of the Qur'aan, Hadith and the various sciences of Deen as well as the ability of ijtihaad in order to be able to correctly compare the proofs of one Imaam against the other and thereafter choose which is more correct. Since this level of knowledge is no longer found, we understand that it is safest for one to remain committed to one Mazhab. Apart from this, all four mazhabs unanimously agree that it is not permissible for one to hop from one Mazhab to another, rather one should confine himself to following a single mazhab and thereafter remain committed to its teachings. In this manner, one will succeed in practising on the Qur'aan and Sunnah correctly. For further details refer to: http://ihyaauddeen.co.za/?p=226 http://ihyaauddeen.co.za/?p=289 And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best. اعلم بأن الواجب اتباع ما ترجيحه عن اهله قد علما قال الشامي : أي أن الواجب علي من أراد أن يعمل لنفسه أو يفتي غيره أن يتبع القول الذي رجحه علماء مذهبه فلا يجوز له العمل أو الإفتاء بالمرجوح الا في بعض المواضع كما سيأتي في النظم . وقد نقلوا الاجماع علي ذلك ففي الفتاوي الكبري للمحقق ابن حجر المكي الشافعي قال في زواءد الروضة : انه لا يجوز للمفتي والعالم ان يفتي أو يعمل بما شاء من القولين أو الوجهين من غير نظر وهذا لا خلاف فيه . وسبقه الي حكاية الاجماع فيهما ابن الصلاح والباجي من المالكية في المفتي . وكلام القرافي دال علي أن المجتهد والمقلد لا يحل لهما الحكم والإفتاء بغير الراجح لانه إتباع للهوي وهو حرام إجماعا وإن محله في المجتهد ما لم تتعارض الأدلة عنده ويعجز عن الترجيح وإن لمقلده حينئذ الحكم بأحد القولين إجماعا انتهي . وقال الإمام المحقق العلامة قاسم بن قطلوبغا في أول كتابه تصحيح القدوري إني رأيت من عمل في مذهب أئمتنا رضي الله عنهم بالتشهي حتى سمعت من لفظ بعض القضاة هل ثم حجر فقلت نعم إتباع الهوي حرام والمرجوح في مقابلة الراجح بمنزلة العدم والترجيح بغير مرجح في المتقابلات ممنوع . وقال في كتاب الأصول لليعمري من لم يطلع علي المشهور من الروايتين أو القولين فليس له التشهي والحكم بما شاء منهما من غير نظر في الترجيح . وقال الإمام أبو عمرو في آداب المفتي اعلم أن من يكتفي بأن يكون فتواه أو عمله موافقا لقول أو وجه في المسئلة ويعمل بما شاء من الأقوال والوجوه من غير نظر في الترجيح فقد جهل وخرق الإجماع . وحكي الباجي أنه وقعت له واقعة فأفتوا فيها بما يضره فلما سألهم قالوا ما علمنا انها لك وأفتوا بالرواية الأخري التي توافق قصده قال الباجي وهذا لا خلاف بين المسلمين ممن يعتد به في الإجماع أنه لا يجوز . قال في أصول الأقضية ولا فرق بين المفتي والحاكم إلا أن المفتي مخبر بالحكم والقاضي ملزم به إنتهي . ثم نقل بعده وأما الحكم والفتيا بما هو مرجوح فخلاف الإجماع وسيأتي ما إذا لم يوجد ترجيح لأحد القولين وقولي عن أهله أي أهل الترجيح إشارة إلي أنه لا يكتفي بترجيح أي عالم كان . فقد قال العلامة شمس الدين محمد بن سليمان الشهير بابن كمال باشا في بعض رسائله لا بد للمفتي المقلد أن يعلم حال من يفتي بقوله ولا نعني بذلك معرفته باسمه ونسبه ونسبته إلي بلد من البلاد إذ لا يسمن ذلك ولا يغني بل معرفته في الرواية ودرجته في الدراية وطبقته من طبقات الفقهاء ليكون علي بصيرة وافية في التمييز بين القائلين المتخالفين وقدرة كافية في الترجيح بين القولين المتعارضين . (شرح عقود رسم المفتي ص 16-21) Answered by: Mufti Zakaria Makada Checked & Approved: Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

Imaam Asma‘ee (rahimahullah), a great scholar of this Ummah who passed away in the year 215 A.H. or 216 A.H., narrates the following incident: On one occasion, I set off into the wilderness, accompanied by one of my friends. While traveling, we lost the road. After some time, when we halted, we suddenly came across a tent and thus headed towards it. When we came to the tent, we called out with salaam and heard a woman reply to our greeting. She asked, “Who are you?” We replied, “We were passing by when we lost our way. We then saw your tent and thus came towards you to seek company.” The woman said, “Turn your faces away so that I can (come out of the tent and) fulfil some of the rights of which you are deserving.” We did as she instructed, and she lay down a carpet for us saying, “Sit until my son arrives. He will attend to you and see to that which you require.” We thus sat, and (as we waited the arrival of her son,) she continued to raise the corner of the tent, peeping out. Eventually, she peeped out and said, “I ask Allah Ta‘ala to send us barakah with the one who is arriving, for the camel belongs to my son, but the one riding the camel is not my son.” When the rider arrived, he said, “O Ummu ‘Aqeel! May you be blessed with immense reward for (observing patience on the loss of your son,) ‘Aqeel.” Ummu ‘Aqeel responded, “Woe to you! Has my son passed away?” The man confirmed that he had indeed passed away, to which she asked, “What caused his death?” The man answered, “The camels crowded around him (in a stampede), pushing him into a well.” Ummu ‘Aqeel then said to the man, “Please attend to the needs of these people.” He thus dismounted from the camel, slaughtered a sheep, prepared it with salt and served it to us. We thus ate, while marvelling at the sabr (patience and composure) of Ummu ‘Aqeel. After we completed the meal, she asked us, “Tell me, are any of you well-versed with the book of Allah Ta‘ala (i.e. the Quraan Majeed)?” When I replied that I was, she said, “Please recite to me some verses from the book of Allah Ta‘ala through which I may take solace.” I thus recited the following verses: وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ ﴿١٥٥﴾ الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّـهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ ﴿١٥٦﴾ أُولَـٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُولَـٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ ﴿١٥٧﴾ And give glad tidings to the patients ones – those who when a calamity befalls them, they say, “Indeed to Allah Ta‘ala alone do we belong, and indeed to Him alone will we return.” Those – upon them are special blessings from their Rabb and Divine mercy, and those – they are the rightly-guided. (Surah Baqarah v155 – 157) When Ummu ‘Aqeel heard these verses, she asked in wonder, “Is this really what is mentioned in the book of Allah Ta‘ala?” I replied, “By Allah! This is exactly what is mentioned in the book of Allah Ta‘ala!” Ummu ‘Aqeel then said, “Assalaamu ‘alaikum,” and thereafter stood, performed two rakaats of salaah, raised her hands and made du‘aa in the following words, “It is to Allah Ta‘ala alone that we belong, and to Him alone that we will return, and it is from Allah Ta‘ala alone that I hope to receive reward for (exercising patience over the loss of) ‘Aqeel!” She repeated this du‘aa thrice, and then said, “O Allah! I have done what You have commanded me to do, so bless me with the abundant rewards that You have promised me!” (Mir-aatul Jinaan vol. 2, pg. 50) Lessons: 1. A Muslim, in every condition, turns his gaze towards Allah Ta‘ala and hopes for reward from Him. If he undergoes hardship, he exercises sabr (patience) and hopes for reward, and if he enjoys ease and comfort, then he expresses shukr (gratitude) and hopes for reward. 2. To feel sad and grieved over a tragedy is natural. However, such was the composure of Ummu ‘Aqeel that she did not lose herself in her sorrow, and still made arrangements for the meal of the guests. In the same way, if we are afflicted by a difficulty, we must ensure that it does not prevent us from fulfilling the rights of Allah Ta‘ala (e.g. salaah, etc.) and the rights we owe to people. 3. In Islam, purdah between strange men and women is extremely important. It is for this reason Ummu ‘Aqeel ensured that she maintained purdah with the two visitors, by making them turn away when she emerged from the tent to lay down the carpet. Source Islam Muslim Weekly Advice Hope

Emotional WellbeingPhysical WellbeingSelf Improvement The Beast In The Mirror: Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder “Mirrors are perpetually deceitful. They lie and steal your true self. They reveal only what your mind believes it sees.” – Dee Remy Are you finding yourself in front of your mirror on a regular basis and noting all of your imperfections? Are you embarrassed to leave the home because of a minor flaw or blemish on your face? Is plastic surgery on the horizon for you in the near future? If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may be dealing with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). The DSM-IV defines BDD as “a preoccupation with an imagined defect in appearance. If a slight physical anomaly is present, the person’s concern is markedly excessive. This preoccupation often causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. This preoccupation is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (eg, dissatisfaction with body shape and size in anorexia nervosa).” BDD is distinguished from anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa , to the extent that patients w anorexia or bulimia disorders are preoccupied with their overall weight and body shape. BDD however focuses on a specific area and is not related to weight or dieting. An example might be an adolescent who thinks that her breasts are too large and wants to have plastic surgery to reduce their size but is otherwise unconcerned about her weight and is eating normally. Recent statistics indicate a many as 50% of patients diagnosed with BDD undergo plastic surgery to correct their perceived physical defects. Individuals with BDD often focus so much on the defect, they often lose sight of the whole self. A person with a pimple on their nose might feel it is considerably larger than it actually is and their reactions fit their perception rather than reality. This may be caused by an error in the visual processing region of your brain. This visual processing error can lead to low self-esteem, high suicide risk, and repeated cosmetic surgery. Although the symptoms appear psychological in nature, new research by UCLA psychiatrist Jamie D. Feusner appears to indicate it might actually be linked to problems with seeing the big picture in the brain. In the study, subjects were shown blurred pictures of their own faces while inside the fMRI machine. Dr. Feusner observed, compared to healthy control subjects, those subjects identified with BDD showed much less activity in the brain region responsible for forming visual details into composite forms. This inability to see the whole picture generalized to other activities as well, including looking at pictures of houses. People with BDD tend to have difficulty seeing the whole picture and cannot process the context of what they are looking at. This perceptual error seems to be the underlying reason individuals suffer from a distorted self image, which defines BDD. Causes of BDD Although recent research points to an error in the visual processing region of the brain, other research indicates the cause might be related to low seratonin levels in the brain. Seratonin, a neurotransmitter produced by the brain, is often associated with depression and mood disorders when levels are below normal in the brain. Another significant factor in the development of BDD is the influence of the mass media, particularly the role of advertising in spreading images of physically “perfect” men and women. Impressionable young children and adolescents absorb the message that anything short of physical perfection is unacceptable. This may lead to developing distorted perceptions of their own faces and bodies. Family of origin plays an important role in our self perceptions, which can increase our vulnerability to BDD. Children whose parents are obsessed with appearance, dieting, and/or bodybuilding; or who are highly critical of their children’s looks, are at greater risk of developing BDD. A history of trauma and abuse can also be an additional factor. When an individual with a history of trauma or abuse buries their feelings about the abuse or traumatic incident, the oppressed feelings can emerge in the form of obsessions about physical features. This “reassignment” of feelings is called displacement. An example that best describes this displacement is an adolescent with a history of physical abuse as a young child becoming obsessed with body building and strength. Individuals with BDD can have symptoms similar to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) since anxiety is at the root of both disorders. Symptoms of BDD include: Ritualistic Behavior: Ritualistic behavior refers to actions that the individual performs to manage anxiety and that take up excessive amounts of his/her time. Individuals are frequently upset if someone or something interferes with or interrupts their ritual. For individuals diagnosed with BDD, these ritualistic behaviors may include exercise or makeup routines, assuming specific poses or postures in front of a mirror, etc. Camouflaging: Individuals with BDD usually spend a great amount of time camouflaging “problem” feature or body part with makeup, hats, or clothing. 94% of individuals with BDD have reported camouflaging. Mirror Obsession: Abnormal behavior around mirrors, large storefront windows, or similar reflecting surfaces is common with individuals with BDD. A majority of individuals diagnosed with BDD frequently check their appearance in mirrors or spend long periods of time doing so. A few react in the opposite direction and avoid mirrors when possible. Fishing for Compliments: Individual with BDD frequently ask for reassurance from others about their appearance. Self Comparisons: Individuals with BDD frequently compare their own appearance to others. Social Avoidance: Due to their insecurities, individual with BDD often avoid activities outside the home, including school and social events*. *The loss of functioning resulting from BDD can have serious consequences for the individuals future. Adolescents with BDD often cut school and may be reluctant to participate in sports, youth groups, or hold part-time or summer jobs. Many individuals are unable to remain in school, form healthy relationships, or keep steady jobs. Adults with muscle dysmorphia have been known to turn down job promotions in order to have more time to focus on their imperfections by working out more at the gym or fitness centers. The economic consequences of BDD can include overspending on cosmetics, clothing, or plastic surgery. Treatment Individuals with BDD often respond well to medications such as antidepressants as well as individual therapy using Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). CBT has been found useful in reducing BDD symptoms. With CBT, individuals learn to see themselves in the mirror without the need for negative self talk or tendency to focus on the negative defects. CBT also challenges inaccurate self-perceptions the individual might have about themselves. Relaxation techniques paired with CBT work well for individuals with BDD. In more severe cases, hospitalization may be warranted for individuals with BDD. Since BDD patients have a high rate of self-destructive behavior, including performing surgery on themselves at home (e.g. liposuction followed by skin stapling, removing facial scars with sand paper, or even sawing down their teeth), hospitalization might be the best place for them to get the help they need. Individuals with severe cases of BDD have a high rate of attempted and completed suicide. Out of 100 individuals diagnosed with BDD, 48% have been hospitalized for psychiatric reasons and 30% had made at least one suicide attempt. Prevention The best preventive strategy appears to be simply challenging the perception of those afflicted with unrealistic images of themselves. Despite the pervasive influence of the mass media in our lives, we must educate ourselves and our children about the realities of those supposed “perfect” images we are exposed to. Point out the airbrushing and photo-shopping involved in getting models to look a certain way. Most importantly, talk to young children about the pitfalls of trying to look “perfect”. Teach them the importance of being well rounded, mentally and physically. Stop complimenting girls and boys on just their physical appearance and attributes. Compliment them on being smart, kind, compassionate, and generous rather than on being beautiful and cute. By doing so, you are teaching them to value themselves as a whole rather than a physical part or feature. Lastly, educate yourself on the symptoms of BDD and pay attention to changes in your children’s dress and behavior. Early intervention is key. Dr. Nafisa Sekandari mentalhealth4muslims

Question Many brothers ask by email about the issue of shaking hands with women in professional settings where, they say, not doing so would harm or impede their ability to function. They may not get hired, promoted, or accepted in professional areas (such as law) where Muslim presence is essential. I checked what some major contemporary traditional fuqaha, such as Shaykh Taqi Usmani and some of my teachers in Damascus, had to say, and they are very firm on this point. But the brothers who asked are saying that such answers belie a lack of understanding of “Western realities.” They are saying that it is not possible to function in professional Western work environments without shaking hands with women. What would you answer and advise about this issue? Answered by: Mufti Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf Assalamu alaykum In the name of the Inspirer of truth. No, it is not permissible to shake hands with women at all. There are many reports from the Prophet Sallallahi alayhi wasallam that he never shook the hands of any women, despite his status as a Prophet. All the allegiance (bay’a) he took was either without holding the hand or with a cloth tied around it. He explicitly informed the women when they extended their hands to him that he did not shake hands with women. (See Muhammad Ibn Sa’d, The Women in Madina, Chapter One: The manner in which the Messenger of Allah received women’s allegiance) Hence, we can find no leeway to change this ruling. Many non-Islamic practices are rife in the business and corporate world. We are constantly asked about the permissibility of sitting at the same table with a client where alcohol is served; the permissibility of holding private meetings with women behind closed doors without any third person in the room, performing Zuhr instead of Jumu’ah if one is occupied in a meeting at the time of the Khutbah; shedding the hijab to seek employment; shaving the beard for such purposes and so on; not to mention usury and interest bearing loans. The list is endless. So, how does a person want to assimilate, and sell his hereafter for this transient world? Yes, certain “fatwas” are to be found on these issues from so called scholars. Much of the religion has already been compromised in such a way. We are aware of a masjid in a city in California where “Islamic Dating” is promoted. Their practice is backed by seemingly convincing logical arguments which sounds very attractive, but how far can the matter be taken, and how much of the religion will remain if this course continues to be followed? Nobody said it was easy to follow the din in the twenty-first century; whether one is in a Muslim country or the West. Didn’t the Prophet Sallalahu alayhi wasallam say that a time will come when a person following his religion will be like one holding on to a cinder, and did he not say this world is a prison for a believer and a Paradise for the non-believer. One must remember that through perseverance and refraining from sin (sabr ani ‘l-ma’siyah) there are great rewards to be gained, despite the apparent monetary or such losses one may have to incur in this world. The regular American (since the issue of shaking hands with women is a greater problem in America) is normally very understanding and accommodating of other people’s religious requirements. If politely informed, they normally act with understanding and are prepared to be more accommodating. If the scholars begin to offer discretion and allowance on certain issues which are rigid in the Shari’a under the excuse of changing times, then how will the original rulings in those issues ever be revived? The sunna and proper practices will be lost for ever and innovations will take their place. Those who attempt to adhere to the correct rulings of Shari’ah in these issues would feel isolated and weak. Therefore, it must be made clear that the traditional jurists (muftis) who are not able to give discretions in such issues are not due to some short-sightedness or ignorance. It is merely to keep the religion intact and whole. Yes, if someone in certain situations is forced to act contrary to the sunna then that is a personal problem in which tawba (repentance) should be made. Whoever fears Allah, Allah will make a way out for them. And He knows best. Mufti Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf zamzam academy

An incident regarding a necklace of Fatimah (radiyallahu ‘anha) Question There’s a video going around about an incident about a Bedouin coming to Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and asking for some provisions. He was directed to the house of Fatimah (radiyallahu ‘anha) who first opted to give him some animal skin but then gave him her necklace after he said he wont be able to eat the animal skin and he needs provisions as well as clothes to cover himself and a conveyance to return to his family. He went back with the necklace to Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) who became emotional over his daughters offering. Later on the necklace was sold to ‘Ammar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) who compensated him for all his needs and gifted the necklace to Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) who then sent it with a slave to Fatimah (radiyallahu ‘anha) as a gift. She took her necklace and freed the boy who exclaimed how miraculous he necklace had been to have fulfilled so many needs. Answer I have not come across this narration in any authentic Hadith source. This narration has been recorded in Shi’i sources. The narration should not be quoted until it can be sourced and then verified. And Allah Ta’ala Knows best. Answered by: Moulana Suhail Motala Approved by: Moulana Muhammad Abasoomar

Revelation and its True Nature By Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani Since the Holy Quran was revealed to our beloved prophet Sayyiduna Muhammad al-Mustafa (upon him blessings and peace) by means of wahi (revelation), an understanding of some particulars about wahi is imperative at the very outset of delving into the study of the Quran and its exegesis. The Need for Revelation Every Muslim knows that Allah Almighty sent man into this world as a matter of testing him and that in return for his being obligated with certain duties the entire universe was placed at his service. For this reason, man, once he is in the world, must do two things: Make the best use of this world and of things created in it. While using this world to his advantage, keep the injunctions of Allah Almighty in sight and do nothing that goes against His will and pleasure. For these two functions man needs knowledge. Therefore, unless he knows the reality of this world, the properties of different things, and the manner in which they can be put to use, he cannot use anything in this world to his advantage. Likewise, unless and until he knows the will of Allah Almighty as to what pleases Him and what displeases Him, it will be impossible for him to lead a life in line with the will of Allah Almighty. Allah Almighty, along with the creation of man, created three things through which he could continue receiving knowledge of the above-mentioned matters of concern. These are: 1. The five senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.2. Reason.3. Revelation (wahi) Consequently, man discovers many things through his senses, many others through reason, and the knowledge of things he cannot attain through these two sources are bestowed upon him through wahi. The arrangement between these three sources of knowledge is such that each one has its limits and a particular sphere of activity beyond which it does not work. In natural sequence, the knowledge of things man collects through his senses cannot be deduced through bland reason. For instance, one knows by seeing a wall with one’s eyes that its color is white. But, should one close their eyes and try to discover the color of the wall on the sole strength of their reason, it would be impossible. Similarly, the knowledge of things that comes through reason cannot be discovered by senses alone. For instance, one cannot discover who made the wall by simply seeing it with one’s eyes or touching it with one’s hands. Reason is needed to arrive at that conclusion. In short, reason gives no guidance as far as the five senses work efficiently, and when the five senses become helpless reason starts to function. But even the guidance given by reason is not unlimited. It too has its limits. There are things the knowledge of which can neither be acquired through senses nor through reason. For instance, to find out how that very wall can be used to please Allah Almighty and in what manner of its use will it displease Him, neither the senses nor reason can be of use here. In order to provide man the answer to such questions, the source that Allah Almighty prescribed is what is known as wahi (revelation). The method it follows is that Allah Almighty selects one of His servants, ordains him as His messenger, and then to him He reveals His Word. This Word is wahi. It should thus be clear that wahi is the highest source of knowledge for man which offers him the answer to questions about life which cannot be solved by means of reason and the senses but which are nonetheless necessary to know. It should further be apparent that reason and perception alone are not sufficient to show man the way. It is rather all the more necessary, almost inevitable, that divine revelation be there for his guidance. Since wahi is needed where reason does not function, it is therefore not necessary that everything communicated through wahi be compulsively comprehended through reason. On the contrary, as reason is of no help in ascertaining the color of some object since that is the job of the senses, so is the gracious transmission of knowledge of many religious beliefs the sole prerogative of wahi and not of reason. Furthermore, trusting reason alone for their comprehension is not sound or correct. To begin with, it is totally senseless to discuss the issue of wahi with a person who, Allah forbid, does not accept the very existence of Allah. But, for a person who believes in the existence of Allah Almighty and has faith in His perfect power, it is not at all difficult to understand that wahi is a rational need, that it is possible, and that it is real. If one has faith in the fact that the universe has been created by an absolutely powerful entity and that He is the One who has sent man down here to accomplish some particular mission, how then is it possible to imagine that He, after once having created man, would leave him off in total darkness without explaining to him why he came into the world, what his duties were, where he was destined to go, and how he could realize the purpose of his life? How could a person, sound in intellect, send one of his servants on a trip with a designated mission without ever telling him the purpose of the trip while he is leaving, nor explaining it to him later on through some message? When a man of ordinary reason cannot do such a thing, how then can it be imagined with respect to the most Holy Lord of the Universe under Whose ultimate wisdom the system of all the worlds is functioning? After all, how is it possible that the Being that created such a mind-boggling system composed of the moon, the sun, the sky, the earth, the stars and the planets, would remain unable to institute some arrangement of communication with His servants through which human beings could be given guidance about the purpose of their lives? If one has iman, or faith, in the ultimate wisdom of Allah Almighty then admitting that He did not forsake His servants in darkness and ignorance will become all the more necessary. Surely, He has instituted some regular system for their guidance. This regular system of guidance is known as wahi (revelation) and risalah (prophethood). It is thus crystal clear that wahi is not only a religious belief but also a rational need the rejection of which amounts to a rejection of the ultimate wisdom of Allah Almighty. The Modes of Descent This sacred sequence of wahi (revelation) and risalah (prophethood) came to an end with the last of the prophets, Muhammad al-Mustafa (upon him blessings and peace). Nevermore shall wahi descend upon any man nor is there any need for it. Wahi used to come to the Holy Prophet (Upon him blessings and peace) in several forms and modes. In a hadith from Sahih al-Bukhari, Sayyidah ‘A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) says that Sayyiduna Harith ibn Hisham (may Allah be pleased with him) once asked the Holy Prophet (upon him blessings and peace) as to how wahi came to him. The Holy Prophet (upon him blessings and peace) replied that “there are times when I hear something like the chiming of bells and this mode of wahi is the hardest on me. After that, when this chime-sequence ends, that which has been said by the sound seems to have been committed to my memory. And then there are times when the angel appears before me in the shape of a man.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 2:1) As regards the likening of the sound of wahi to the sound of bells in the hadith cited above, Imam Muhi al-Din Ibn al-‘Arabi has provided two explanations. First, the sound of wahi is continuous like the sound of a bell which does not break off in between. Second, when a bell rings continuously it is generally difficult for the listener to determine the direction of its sound because its sound seems to be coming from all directions. And the Divine Word too carries with it the distinction that it has no one single direction. In fact, the sound gives the impression of being heard from all directions. A correct realization of this phenomenon is just not possible without auditory experience. However, for ease of comprehension the Holy Prophet (upon him blessings and peace) simply likened it to the sound of bells. (Fayd al-Bari 1:19,20) With the descent of wahi in this mode, the Holy Prophet (Upon him blessings and peace) came under very heavy strain. Sayyidah ‘A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) says towards the end of this very hadith that she had seen the coming of wahi to him during days of extreme winter. When the progression of wahi ceased, his blessed forehead would have already become dripping wet with sweat despite the chilly weather. In yet another narration, Sayyidah ‘A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) relates: “When wahi came to him, his breath would seem to stop, his radiant face would change, turning pale like the branch of a date palm, the front teeth would shiver from cold, and he would perspire so much that its drops would roll down like pearls.” (al-Itqan1:46) On occasions, so much intensity would be generated in this state of wahi that the animal he would be riding at that time would sit down, wilting under his weight. Once, when he was resting his blessed head on the lap of Sayyiduna Zayd ibn Thabit (may Allah be pleased with him), wahi began to descend. This released so much weight upon Sayyiduna Zayd’s thigh that it seemed like it would break. (Zad al-Ma‘ad 1:18,19) There were times when a low-volume sound of the revelation could be perceived by others. Sayyiduna ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) says: “When wahi came to him, a sound somewhat similar to the buzzing of honey-bees could be heard close to his luminous face. (Tabwib Musnad Ahmad 20:212) Under the second mode of wahi an angel would come to him in some human form and deliver Allah’s message. Generally, under such occasions Sayyiduna Jibra’il (upon him be peace) used to come to him in the form of Sayyiduna Dihyah al-Kalbi (may Allah be pleased with him). At other times, he would come in other forms. In any case, this mode of the revelation through Sayyiduna Jibra’il (upon him be peace) appearing in human form was the easiest on the Holy Prophet (upon him blessings and peace). (al-Itqan 1:46) The third mode of the coming of wahi was when Sayyiduna Jibra’il (upon him be peace) would appear in his original form without having taken the shape of a man. This, however, only occurred thrice in his entire lifetime. The first instance was when the Holy Prophet (upon him blessings and peace) himself wished to see Jibra’il in his real form and shape. The second time, it was during the Mi‘raj (the Ascension to Heaven), and the third time it was at Ajyadd in Makkah during the very early days of prophethood. The first two occurrences stand proven authentically. The last incident, however, suffers from weak chains of authority and is therefore doubtful. (Fath al-Bari 1:18,19) The fourth mode of revelation is distinguished by being a direct two-way conversation with Allah Almighty. This honor was bestowed upon the Holy Prophet only once, that is on the occasion of the Mi‘raj while awake. Additionally, once in a dream it is reported that the Prophet (upon him blessings and peace) engaged in a conversation with Allah Almighty. Under the fifth mode of wahi, Sayyiduna Jibra’il (upon him blessings and peace) would, without appearing physically in any form, allow some words of the divine message to fall into his heart. This is technically known as nafh fi ’l-ruh, or blowing into the heart. (Fath al-Bari 1:18,19) [Taken from the introduction to Mufti Muhammad Shafi‘ al-‘Uthmani’s Ma‘arif al-Qur’an.] Ilmgate

Anger - Mufti Hussain Kamani

Anger – The True Enemy? Contrary to popular sentiment, anger is not the bad guy. Like all emotions, anger is the body’s way of getting our attention when we feel threatened or endangered, both literally and hypothetically. Trying to rid ourselves of anger is a losing game, not the least of which because of the fact that anger cannot be destroyed. We’ve all heard the hadith from Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam on how a strong man controls his anger, as well as his admonitions to just avoid getting angry at all. True as it is, we suggest, however, that the issue of anger is far deeper than just avoidance. We know, as a matter of fact, that Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam himself was angry sometimes , most often when he saw injustice being committed. In his book “The Forty Foundations of Religion”, Imam Al-Ghazali says about anger: “Breaking the power of anger is among the most important aspects of religion…By “breaking it”, I do not intend “removing it”, for indeed its root does not disappear…” One cannot defeat an enemy without knowing full well the identity of that enemy. Anger is not our enemy, any more than sadness, happiness, or love are enemies to us. Anger is merely a tool at our disposal, and like any tool it can be used mindfully or mindlessly. The true enemy is our inability to accept our reality and embrace all the parts of ourselves so that we may move forward into change, whole human beings. Learning to Respect Anger In a commentary on Imam Al-Ghazali’s aforementioned book, the author says, “Anger is like a hunting dog that does not oppose the hunter who trained it. Anger is led, like a hunting dog, by the intellect and sacred law, abiding by their guidance. This is only possible after a great deal of spiritual struggle against the self and becoming habituated to forbearance and resisting those things that cause anger.” Taken in this light, we can see that our anger serves us, so long as we do not allow our anger to control us. Al-Ghazali cautioned, however, against trying to remove anger from oneself entirely: “…if it disappears, it is necessary to obtain it, because it is…a preventer of bad deeds, and a multiplier of good deeds.” There are many situations in life which call for anger, including righting a wrong committed, ensuring justice is delivered in a court of law, and protecting the rights of orphans and widows, to name a few. There are some instances, however, where anger must simply be ignored, and in these instances, responding to one’s anger will only make matters worse. The correct response, according to Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam is to seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan for Shaytan loves to stoke the fire of anger and to make wudu. He also said we should sit down if we feel angry while standing, and lie down if we still feel angry while sitting. (Sunan Abi Dawud 4782) Anger, however, does serve a purpose in some circumstances, but before one can determine if showing one’s anger is beneficial to the matter at hand, one must look under the anger at the deeper emotions. What Lies Beneath When we pull back the layers of anger, we will find that there are numerous other feelings just lying in wait, including guilt, shame, hurt, loss, longing, hunger, helplessness, anxiety, unworthiness, and emptiness. Ask yourself: “Am I angry because I’m actually afraid?” Or maybe you’re angry because you feel devastated? Maybe you feel angry because you feel dishonored or ashamed of yourself. In these circumstances, it is your nafs pushing you to respond. Aside from calmly expressing your feelings, the best reaction is no reaction at all, except the aforementioned recommendations of Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam. Jalaladdin Rumi said, “ When you see the face of anger, look behind it and you will see the face of pride. Bring anger and pride under your feet, turn them into a ladder and climb higher. There is no peace until you become their master. Let go of anger, it may taste sweet but it kills. Don’t become its victim. You need humility to climb to freedom.” However, if your anger is coming from a place of worry for the well-being of another who is oppressed, or the concern for your own valid rights (your pride is not a right), there are ways to train yourself to express your anger in a healthy manner. http://jamiat.org.za/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Anger-management.jpg Controlling and using anger to our advantage There are two main routes to controlling one’s anger: knowledge and action. First and foremost, we must understand that under all our emotions, far below the surface of the anger lies denial of the qadr (destiny) of Allah . Al-Ghazali says: “There is no cause for your anger except the denial that a thing occurs by the will of Allah rather than by your own will…the anger of Allah upon you is greater than your own anger, and the grace of Allah is greater…” Having come to terms with the deepest root cause of our anger, the next step is action, both for the acute anger at hand the chronic underlying issue. First, as stated previously, sit down or lie down, seek refuge in Allah (say “authu billahi min ashshaytan arrajeem ”), and make wudu. When you are in a clear state of mind to consider better alternatives to acting in anger, you can more fully consider the consequences of your actions. Dealing with chronic anger, however, requires a life more devoted to restraint in general. This can be obtained through frequent sunnah fasting, and limiting one’s intake of too much food, too much leisure, and too much halal sexual pleasure. Too much of any good thing is bad. There are times, however, when one’s anger become so powerful, and the emotions underneath so muddled, that we need help from an outside source , and it is our responsibility to seek that help . Allah gave us a broad range of emotions so that we could experience life on this earth to its full potential, both the pleasure and the pain, the sadness and the joy. Let us not make one of those emotions a scapegoat so that we do not allow ourselves the full depth of experience Allah has created us to feel. Let sadness wash over you, as sadness does. Allow joy to warm you and leave you peacefully. Accept grief and the gifts it brings to your life. Anger is the hard shell of the egg that is your deeper, connected self. Crack that shell and life becomes vivid in all its colours and forms. May Almighty Allah protect us from Shaytaan and keep us with the Sunnah of holy prophet peace be upon him Source

“Anger is the energy that people use in order to act. But when you are angry, you are not lucid, and you might do wrong things” ~Thich Nhat Hanh. Dr. Nafisa Sekandari and Sr. Hosai Mojaddidi Anger, as an emotion, is a primary, natural, and mature emotion experienced by all humans at times, and has functional value for survival. Anger alerts our body to take corrective action when we or someone we care about have felt wronged or mistreated. Although anger as an emotion is normal, it’s what we do with this emotion that can lead to destructive actions. Uncontrolled anger can have a negative affect on our physical, mental, and social well-being. “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one”. ~Benjamin Franklin Anger is oftentimes a cover for deeper, underlying emotions such as fear and loss of control. We may feel justified when we are angry and feel we know the source of our anger but oftentimes, it’s less about the other person and more about our perceptions. Personal perception plays a big role in eliciting anger. If a person perceives to lose control of a situation, they might get angry despite what the reality of the situation might be. We often notice when we are happy, a similar situation may not stir the emotion of anger inside of us as when we are irritated, feeling down on ourselves, etc. “When anger rises, think of the consequences” ~Confucius Although anger can at times be constructive, most times it clouds our judgment and creates stress in our lives. If anger leads to aggressive behavior toward others, it can lead to permanent harm to personal relationships. Prolonged or excessive anger, deep resentment, and even mild anger has been linked to cardiovascular problems and heart attacks. “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”. ~Buddha We must learn to pay attention to our anger and explore the underlying emotions related to it such as hurt or fear. Learning to feel empathy for others and taking the perspective of others is often helpful as well. For example when driving and experiencing road rage, you can view what might possibly be going on with the other driver. If you view the driver as ignorant and lacking proper driving skills, you might become enraged but if you view the driver as being sick or elderly, you might not be so quick to lose your temper. How often have you made mistakes on the road that you did not intent to? Maybe drove a little too slow while answering your phone or slowed down to hand something to your child in the back seat. We can imagine the person in front of us making such unintended mistakes as well and therefore not be so harsh in our judgment. Simply assuming the good intentions of the other person oftentimes has the ability to cool our fires. Another way to slow the speed of your rage is to think about your expectations of others. What are you expecting that you aren’t getting? Is the expectation reasonable? Can a compromise be made in meeting your expectation? Can you forgive the short comings of the person you have expectations from? Many individuals have difficulty forgiving others and would rather hold onto the anger out of revenge and spite or fear they may forget. Claudia Black, a psychologist says it best when she says “Forgiving is not forgetting, it is remembering and letting go”. Sometimes we just need to let go of our anger and make the choice to be happy. Holding onto to anger for the sake of revenge is a useless and destructive habit. “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness”. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Unexpressed anger can have destructive consequences not only emotionally and socially, but physically as well. According to a New York Times article, chronic anger can be more dangerous than smoking and obesity in shortening your life. Additionally, chronic anger can also rob you of the chance to be happy and simply enjoy life. “Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.” ~Buddha Anger management strategies 1.) Learn to recognize your physiological reaction to anger (e.g. increase heart beat, sweaty palms, clenched fists, face feeling flushed, etc.) 2.) Take a time out and count to 10 backwards when you feel the anger building up. Breathe deeply 4-5 times in order to allow yourself time to come up with an appropriate reaction or plan to deal with the situation. Also keep in mind the hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who said: “The best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down.” (Tirmidhi) 3.) Learn to communicate your feelings and be assertive rather than aggressive. Express your feelings using “I” messages (e.g. “I am feeling upset right now because I feel what I’m saying is being taken out of context”). 4.) Learn constructive ways to channel your anger out (e.g. walk away from the situation and clear your head, exercise, meditate, write in a journal, speak into a tape recorder, talk to someone that is not related to the situation in order to get a clearer perspective, etc.). The Prophet (peace be upon him) has also advised us about the benefits of doing the following: Making Wudu (Ablution): “Anger comes from Satan and Satan was created of fire; and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” (Sunan Abu Dawood) Changing Physical Position: “When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.” (Sunan Abu Dawood) 5.) Accept that you can’t change the world or anyone else…you can only change your reaction. When you give up the idea that you can somehow change a person’s behavior or thoughts you become empowered and in control. You realize the only thing you have control over is your reaction to the person. You can choose to laugh about the situation, ignore it, make a joke out of it, or get angry. All those emotions are under your control and your choice. 6.) For chronic anger, you might want to look into an anger management program to learn strategies and coping skills in better managing your anger. Talking to a trained mental health professional is another recommended option. “You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger”. Buddha This is why we are advised in Islam to fight our emotions and hold back our anger. Abu Hurayrah (may God be pleased with him) reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace be upon him), “Advise me.” He said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet (peace be upon him) told him, “Do not become angry.” (Al-Bukhari) Furthermore, The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.” (Ahmad). And in another tradition he said, “The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger.” (Ahmad) These words of wisdom, as with all advice in the Quran and Sunnah of our Prophet (peace be upon him) are meant to help us live better lives. As the above quote by Buddha states, it’s not necessarily that God will punish us for being angry in the literal sense but that we get punished by our anger. Chronic anger eats away at us physically and spiritually. For this reason we are encouraged to control our anger. mentalhealth4muslims.com

Equipping our children for the journey to Jannah Every parent is responsible for their child. As such, it is the duty of every parent to train and equip their child with the necessary and relevant skills, knowledge and understanding that they will require throughout their life. Be it training in matters of hygiene, such as potty-training, teaching the child to bath himself, clean his teeth, etc., or in other basic skills, such as preparing a simple snack, packing the laundry away, cleaning a mess, etc. – every responsible parent ensures that their child receives practical training in order for the teaching to be effective and take root. In the very same way, when it comes to matters of Deen, it is absolutely vital for parents to give their children practical training, according to their age, understanding and capability, so that the child will be equipped to traverse the path to Jannah. Through practical training, the lesson and teaching will become firmly entrenched and embedded in the heart and mind of the child and will remain with him until his death. Consider the example of our beloved Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). On one occasion, he was eating with his step-son, Sayyiduna ‘Umar bin Abi Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma). While eating, the young boy moved his hand around the platter, eating from different sides, despite the platter containing one type of food. Observing this, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) addressed him, with love and gentleness, and taught him to recite “bismillah” before eating, to eat with the right hand and to eat from the side that was close to him. (Sunan Ibni Maajah #3267) In this way, while eating with him, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) practically taught this young Sahaabi the etiquettes of eating and of sharing a platter with another person, ensuring that the lesson was absorbed and understood. We must ensure that we practically teach and train our children to uphold the teachings of Islam because while they may learn the teachings of Islam in madrasah or elsewhere, it is ONLY the parents, in the home, who are able to train the child to make these theoretical teachings a practical part of their life.They may learn the number of rakaats of each salaah in madrasah, as well as the various masnoon du‘aas and how to recite the Quraan, etc. but it is only the parents, at home, who can make the child practically implement these teachings in his life and become a ‘practising Muslim’. The more importance the parents will show to these aspects, the more importance the child will then show in practising them in his life. The month of Ramadhaan is fast approaching. Together with conducting ta’leem in the home and impressing on the children the great importance and significance of this month, we should encourage them, according to their age and ability, to commence fasting. Be it from 3pm until iftaar for smaller children, or a ‘half-fast’ from after lunch, or even a longer fast commencing after breakfast, it is some form of training that will create the mindset of fasting within the child and will prepare them to fulfil this responsibility later on in life. (When the child completes their ‘half-fast’, then perhaps some special treat can be given, highlighting to him that our happiness revolves around pleasing Allah Ta‘ala and fulfilling His commands.) The women of the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) implemented this same practical training with their children. Hence, Sayyidah Rubayyi’ (radhiyallahu ‘anha) mentions that the women of the Ansaar would encourage their children to fast, and when the children would begin to ask for food, then to distract them, they would give them toys made from wool to play with. (Saheeh Bukhaari #1960) May Allah Ta‘ala assist us all to give our children the correct training and to equip them adequately for their journey to Jannah. UswatulMuslimah Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

Q. I am a mother of a new born and I am breastfeeding. My new born vomits milk that falls onto my clothes all the time. Can I perform Salaah with the vomited milk on my clothing? (Question published as received) A. There are two scenarios that apply to the vomit of an adult or a child: 1. Vomiting a mouthful -If one has vomited a mouthful, the vomit is regarded to be impure. For purposes of Salaah, if the total amount of vomit fallen onto the clothing is equivalent to a Dirham*, the vomit must be removed from the clothing before performing Salaah. It is not permissible to perform Salaah in that state. However, if the total amount of vomit is less than a Dirham*, one is not required to remove the vomit before performing Salaah, although it is preferable to do so. It is permissible to perform Salaah in that state. * Dirham refers to the Islamic silver coin that was approx. 2.75cm in diameter (Ahsanul Fataawa Vol. 1 pg. 89). It is equivalent to the size of the old 50 cent coin and is 2mm larger than the current R5 coin (South Africa). 2. Vomiting less than a mouthful - If one has vomited less than a mouthful, the vomit is not regarded to be impure. It is permissible for one to perform Salaah in that state, although, it is preferable for one to remove it before performing Salaah. The above ruling is the same whether the vomit is of milk, food or any other substance. In determining the size of a mouthful, the size of the adult’s or child’s mouth will be taken into consideration. A mouthful refers to one not being able to hold back the vomit in one’s mouth. (Maraaqil Falaah 1/155) And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Mufti Ismaeel Bassa Confirmation: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (The answer hereby given is specifically based on the question asked and should be read together with the question asked. Islamic rulings on this Q&A newsletter are answered in accordance to the Hanafi Fiqh unless otherwise stated.) Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

why hmm I've known of different opinions, some scholars can go under some conditions and others saying no, full stop..these are all together

With respect to women visiting the cemetery, there are three famous opinions of the Fuqaha (jurists) and scholars. The first opinion is that it is generally permissible for women to visit the graveyard. This allowance is on account of the tradition of the Prophet (SA) in which he said, ‘I used to prohibit you from visiting the graveyard, but now you can visit it. (Musnad ahmad). Those scholars who allow this, state that the above tradition includes the permission for women also (to visit the cemetery) as it is for men. The great jurist Shamsul A’imma Saraks; has preferred this. (Al Fatawa Hindiyah). The second opinion of some jurists is that it is not permissible (at all) for women to visit the cemetery, since the Prophet (SA) has cursed those women who visit the cemetery. As for the previous narration, these scholars state that the address is given only to men, not women. The third opinion of some jurists (which is generally accepted and practiced upon) is that, if by visiting the cemetery, women begin to cry, weep, wail and become uncontrollable, then it is haram for them to go to the cemetery, and it is on account of this behaviour, the Prophet (SA) cursed such women as mentioned in the above tradition. However, if the purpose of going to the cemetery is to take a lesson, and remember death and the hereafter, (and there is no possibility of crying and wailing), then it will be allowed for the older women, wearing their proper garb, to visit the cemetery, and not the young women. As mentioned by these scholars, the allowance for these women to visit the cemetery is based on the narration which states that Aisha (RA) used to visit the graves of the Prophet(SA), Abu Bakr and Umar (RA). (Hashiya Jamiul Masaaneed wa As Sunan). (Kitabul Fatawa vol.3 pg.228; Marghoobul Fatawa vol.3pg.317,317). Based on the above third opinion, if the women (as specified above ) wish to visit the cemetery, there is no fixed amount of days which must be passed in order for them to do so. However, due to the fact that women are soft by nature, if they go to the graveyard at a time that is close to the burial, then it is feared that they may cry loudly, and may become emotional, since the death of the person may still be fresh in their minds. Hence, it is best for them to allow a few days to past, when they have settled down a bit. And Allah knows best. Mufti Waseem Khan Source