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HOW CAN I BRING MY SIBLINGS ONTO DEEN? Question: I have a question regarding practice of Deen. My siblings have stopped praying salaah and deeni activities for two years. Both of them are Haafiz. It might be that because of all the expectations and judgements that the Muslim community has put on them. No matter what they do no one seems to be happy with them. If my brothers didn’t go to the masjid my dad wouldn’t talk to them for days. I know that my parents were only ever trying to help and nurture us, but sometimes things did get too extreme. I'm scared that if we pressure them too much it will only drive them further away from Deen. Please help me. Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. Sister-in-Islam, We take note of the contents of your email. It is encouraging to note your passion for Deen and your desire to help your siblings become better Muslims. Make Allāh Ta`ālā help you fulfill this endeavor. Ameen. Rasulullah Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam has stated in a Hadith, الشَّبَابَ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ Translation: Adolescence is a branch of insanity.1 Masha-Allah, you realize the importance of helping your brothers overcome the challenges they are currently facing and Insha-Allah your effort will not go in vain. Be confident that by the Will of Allah you will be able to help them. A person in his youth faces many challenges from biological to financial, from family to social. The different feelings tend to cloud their rationale and they end up making serious mistakes. If they are not carefully handled, the mistakes could develop into perpetual habits and thus aggravating the problem. It is the responsibility of seniors to bring balance in their lives and use diplomacy and wisdom in doing so. What you state regarding your siblings is a typical conduct of a youth. We advise you to adopt the following ways: · Speak to them with a soft tone, respect and dignity. They may feel they deserve to be talked to with respect and not be scolded at every time. · Keep a very friendly and positive attitude towards them and hopefully this will soften their hearts towards you and they will be more willing to listen to you. Allow them to confide in you and share their sentiments with you; · It may be that your siblings feel lonely, deserted and abandoned. Spend quality time with them and bond with them. · Encourage them with wisdom and remind them that the doors of mercy are always open and true happiness lies in the Akhirah. · You seem to have a very good relationship with your parents. Try to contribute to a change in your parent’s mindset. Consider the following advice narrated by Faqeehul Ummah Hazrat Mufti Mahmood Saheb Gangohi Rahimahullah of Hazrat Moulana Maseehullah Khan Saheb Rahimahullah, Nowadays parents should behave towards their children as children. Father should act as a son; not with the awe and fear of yesteryear. He should deal with love, tenderness and affection…. ‘Son it is time for the meals.... son it is time for bed, etc. These are all request; as if one brother is talking to another; for the era of dictating and commanding are over (Ashraf’s Blessings, Page 369) · While you may witness them demonstrating unsuitable behaviour and reacting unjustifiably, console them and show your sisterly love and affection to them. Try to diagnose the cause of their behaviour. · Spend family time together for example, have meals together and have common and light hearted conversations. · Also go out as a family and spend quality time. · Most important of all, family members should show love and affection to each other. · Turn to Allah and make Dua for love and muhabbat in the family. Request your parents to do the same as well. Through patience and perseverance, your siblings will come around and learn to establish a strong connection with Allah Ta'ālā. Insha Allāh. Keep hope in Allah and your efforts will be appreciated by Allah. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Huzaifah Deedat Student Darul Iftaa Lusaka, Zambia Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai. ___________________ مسند الشهاب القضاعي- مؤسسة الرسالة (1/ 100) 1 أَخْبَرَنَا الْقَاضِي أَبُو مُحَمَّدٍ عَبْدُ الْكَرِيمِ بْنُ الْمُنْتَصِرِ، بِإِسْنَادِهِ الْمُقَدَّمُ ذِكْرُهُ فِي الْجُزْءِ الْأَوَّلِ، عَنْ زَيْدِ بْنِ خَالِدٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَنَّهُ قَالَ فِي الْخُطْبَةِ الطَّوِيلَةِ الَّتِي فِيهَا «الشَّبَابُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ» ، وَمَا ذَكَرَ مَعَهُ اعتلال القلوب للخرائطي- نزار مصطفى الباز (1/ 103) حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّهِ أَحْمَدُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ غَالِبٍ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عُبَيْدٍ الْمَدَنِيُّ، وَعَبْدُ الْعَزِيزِ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ نَافِعٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مُصْعَبِ بْنِ خَالِدِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ بْنِ خَالِدِ بْنِ الْجُهَنِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ جَدِّهِ زَيْدِ بْنِ خَالِدٍ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «الشَّبَابُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ، وَالنِّسَاءُ حِبَالَةُ الشَّيْطَانِ المقاصد الحسنة (ص: 401)- دار الكتاب العربي حَدِيث: الشَّبَابُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ، وَالنِّسَاءُ حِبَالَةُ الشَّيْطَانِ، أبو نُعيم في الحلية عن عبد الرحمن بن عابس، وابن لال عن ابن مسعود، والديلمي عن عبد اللَّه بن عامر في حديث طويل، والتيمي في ترغيبه عن زيد بن خالد، كلهم مرفوعا به، وحبالة بالكسر هو ما يصاد به من أي شيء كان، وجمعه حبائل، والرواية به أكثر أي مصائده، ولا ينافيه ما روينا عن سفيان الثوري من قوله: يا معشر الشباب عليكم بقيام الليل، فإنما الخير في الشباب، لكونه محلا للقوة، والنشاط غالبا، ومن شواهد الحديث: عجب ربك من شاب ليست له صبوة، وسيأتي الجامع الصغير وزيادته (ص: 7171، بترقيم الشاملة آليا) الخرائطي فِي اعتلال الْقُلُوب) عَن زيد بن خالد الجهني.( الشَّبَابُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الجُنُونِ وَالنِّسَاءُ حُبَالَةُ الشَّيْطَانِ
Family Day Out One day out of the many days of life. A man was traveling with his Wife and Kids. On the way, he met someone standing in the roadway. So he asked him: Who are you? He said: I am Money The man asked his wife and kids : Should we ask him to ride with us? They said together: Yes, of course, because money can help us if we want to do something, and get anything we wish for. So, they took Money to ride with them. And the vehicle continued on its way until the man met someone else on the road. The Father asked: Who are you? He said: I am high Position and Power So, the father asked his wife and kids : Should we ask him to ride with us? They all answered in one voice: Yes, of course, because with high position and power we will have the ability to do anything we want and own anything we desire. The man took high Position and Power along and the vehicle went ahead. Further ahead they came across many more people who offered to add joy and comfort to their trip, and with the advice of the family, the man kept allowing them to accompany him. Yet again the vehicle was stopped by someone who wanted to give them company. The Father asked: Who are you? He said: I am Deen. The man, his wife, and the kids said in one voice: No, this isn't the time; we are looking for pleasures on this trip, and Deen will prevent us from joy; it will have control over us, and we will suffer listening to it and being loyal to it. So the man said:Deen, please wait and rest assured we will definitely return soon to you, and pick you up. Sadly Deen was left behind and the vehicle continued its trip. And out of no where something appeared in the middle of the road STOP!!! They found someone asking the father to get out of the vehicle.. He said to the father: As far as you are concerned the trip has ended!!! ! Get out of the vehicle and come with me. The father was shocked with fear and didn't say a word. Deen alone can come with you. Is he there with you? The father answered: No, but I have left him not too far behind. If you can let me go back, I can get Deen in no time. There is no going back from here. Huh! said the man. I have my Money, Position and Power, my Wife, and my Kids, The man said to him: They will not benefit you; nor will they protect you. So, the father asked: And who are you exactly? I am Death. the one you were quite heedless of and didn't take into account on your trip!! The father looked back at his vehicle; he found his wife taking control of it and continuing the trip with all of its passengers but him. 'Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline: or the dwellings in which ye delight - are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause;- then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.' Qur'an 9:24 'Every soul shall have a taste of death: And only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense. Only he who is saved far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the object (of Life): For the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception.' Qur'an 3:185 Let us remember, our journey may end any moment and let us make sure that our Deen is there with us. https://www.muftisays.com/blog/abu+mohammed/235_26-03-2010/family-day-out.html