ummtaalib

Question Are Muslims allowed to celebrate Mothers day and Fathers day? please explain Answer In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. Islam does not recognize the concept of Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. In fact, to single out just one day of the year to honour our fathers and mothers is an embarrassment and humiliation to our parents. Every single moment of our lives is for our fathers and our mothers. Shariah has placed much emphasis on the rights of parents. Mother’s Day celebration started after the civil war in the United States in the 1860s, by Ann Reeves Jarvis. Her intention was to reconcile the differences between the mothers of the Confederate and the Union Soldiers of West Virginia. This effort was again re-established by Julia Ward Howe in 1870. The businessmen saw this as an opportunity to increase their profit margins and so gave it their support. In 1908 with the effort of Anna Jarvis, the daughter of Ann Jarvis, Mother’s Day was acknowledged as a commercial holiday. Subsequently, Father’s Day was commenced in 1909 by Sonora Smart Dodd whose mother had passed away. She along with her other five brothers and sisters were raised by her father and her intention was to honour him for his effort in raising his six children by himself. Over time Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were cemented in the hearts of the people and became holidays. It is conclusive from the above that these holidays are not religious in nature. They were instituted by Americans who were trying to bring peace amongst each other after the civil war. Islam places strong emphasis on enjoining family ties. There should be respect amongst family members all the time and no one day is needed to be singled out for this. Non-Muslims at times may do things that seem appealing. Muslim should not be caught up in the celebrations and traditions of non-Muslims. Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala Says: And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and do good to parents (Quran 17:23). On another occasion, Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala, says أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ}} (Be grateful to Me and to your parents 31:14) It is reported in Sahih Muslim on the authority of Abdullah Ibn Umar Radiyallahu Anhu that a man whose parents were alive came to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam seeking permission to go in Jihad. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam told him to carry out jihad in the service of his parents.<!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->[1]<!--[endif]--> It is evident from the above that one should continuously be in the service of their parents even if they are non-Muslims.<!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->[2]<!--[endif]--> In Sahih Al-Bukhari it is reported on the authority of Abdulillah Ibn Umar that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam said that the noblest thing that a child can do for a father after his death is to treat his friends well. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam says that Jannat lies at the feet of the mother, such that one is not even allowed to go in search of Deeni Knowledge without the permission of his mother.<!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->[3]<!--[endif]--> It is mentioned in one hadith that four times a man asked Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam who was more deserving of his companionship. On the first three occassions Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam says your mother was more deserving. Then on the fourth occasion he Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam said thereafter your father.<!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->[4]<!--[endif]--> These are just a few of the occasions on which the importance of the parents are being highlighted, to show that at all times parents should be honoured. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Mawlana Saeed Ahmed Golaub Westmoreland, Jamaica, West Indies Student Darul Iftaa Checked and Approved Mufti Ebrahim Desai daruliftaa.net

Major Dutch islamophobe accepts Islam In Holland, a major islamophobic political and social activist, former member of parliament from a right-wing party, Arnoud van Doorn accepted Islam. The former islamophobe announced his decision to accept Islam on his Twitter profile. He says it is a new beginning of his life and published the declaration of Shahada (the words on monotheism to become a Muslim) in Arabic. At first, other users took the news as a joke. After all, an active supporter of a notorious Dutch hater of Islam, Wilders, has repeatedly approved islamophobic statements and public actions, and personally participated in them. But van Doorn, who now serves as a regional adviser at the City Hall in The Hague, personally confirmed his decision to practice Islam in an official letter to the city Mayor. Most recently, the politician filed a formal application to the mayor of the city to allow him to perform prayers obligatory for Muslims during his working hours. The information on conversion of van Doorn to Islam was confirmed on the official website of the mosque Al-Yaqeen in The Hague. "We wish brother Arnoud a good new life as a Muslim and a lot of strength with the acquisition of knowledge", the website says. After accepting Islam, van Doorn gave an exclusive interview to Qatari English-language TV channel Al Jazeera, the text of which he published on his Twitter page: Al Jazeera: What would you say to the people who are sceptic towards your conversion into the Islam? Van Doorn: I can understand that people are sceptic, especially since it is unexpected for many of them. In my own close circle people have known that I have been actively researching the Koran, Hadith, Sunnah and other writings for almost a year now. In addition, I have had numerous conversations with Muslims about the religion. This is a very big decision, which I have not taken lightly. Al Jazeera: How did you get in touch with the Islam? Van Doorn: I have heard many negative stories about the Islam, but I am not a person who follows opinions of others without doing my own research and forming my own opinion. Therefore, I have actually started to deepen my knowledge of the Islam out of curiosity. My colleague Aboe Khoulani from the City Council in The Hague has brought me further into contact with the as-Soennah mosque, which has guided me even further. There, I have been received very warmly and very positively. Al Jazeera: In hindsight, do you have regrets of joining the PVV (Freedom Party)? Van Doorn: I have learned that every experience in life has a purpose. However, with the knowledge I have today, I would have undoubtedly made a different choice. Al Jazeera: Which reactions have you received regarding your conversion? Van Doorn: According to some people I am a traitor, but according to most others I have actually made a very good decision. The reactions are generally positive though. And I also receive quite some support via twitter. It feels good that people who do not know me personally have understanding of my situation and support me in my choice. Al Jazeera: Is there anything else you would like to state? Van Doorn: I have made mistakes in life as many others. From these mistakes I have learned a lot. And by my conversion into the Islam I have the feeling that I finally found my path. I realize that this is a new start and that I still have much to learn as well. The expectation is that I will continue to face much resistance, also from certain government institutions. I have all faith in Allah to support me and to guide me through these moments. Department of Monitoring Kavkaz Center

This refers to the conditions and places in which it is proven to recite Durud, as well as those places and conditions that carry reward and virtue and will serve as a means of blessings and benefits in this world and in the Aakhirah. These places have been proven as discussed in great detail by Shams ud Deen Ibn Qayyim Jauziyyah in Jilaa ul Afhaam, Muhaddith Siddique Hasan Khan Bhopali in Nuzul ul Abraar min Al Ad'iyah wal Adhkaar and Shams ud Deen Sakhaawi in Al Qawl ul Badee fi as Salaat ala al Habeeb ash Shafee'. It is sufficient to recite Durud at these times and places, whether it be short or lengthy. After completing wudhoo. After performing Tayammum. After Ghusl, whether it be a Ghusl of Jnaabat or a Ghusl after Haydh and Nifaas. In Salaat (the final sitting). When writing a bequest. At the time of the nikah khutbah. At the start of the day, i.e. in the morning. At the end of the day, i.e. in the evening. At the time of sleeping. When travelling. When boarding the conveyance. Then leaving the marketplace. When invited for meals (when sitting at the food cloth). When entering the home. When beginning a letter or journal. After reciting tasmiyah. At the time of sorrow, grief, worry and calamity. When experiencing straitened conditions and poverty. At the time of need and want. When drowning. At the time of a plague, or when a fatal sickness spreads. At the beginning, in the middle and at the end of du'aa. When there is ringing in the ears. When the hands and feet become numb. When sneezing. When forgetting the place of something one has placed in a particular place. When eating radish. When a donkey brays. When repenting from a sin. When making Du'aa after Salaat ul Haajah. After tashahhud. After completing Salaah. When the Jama'ah gets ready for Salaah. After Fajr Salaah. After completing Maghrib Salaah. After Qunut. When waking for tahajjud Salaah. After completing tahajjud Salaah. When entering the Masjid. When leaving the Masjid. Alislam.co.za

Question: Recently I have noticed that my menstrual cycle has become longer than the normal 8 to 9 days which it lasted. Now, my regular cycle has moved from 9 days to 10 or 11 days. But according to the Hanafi rule, I must begin to pray on my 11th day. However, if I know that this is part of my cycle, can I not take a dispensation on the issue? Answer: Assalamu alaykum Menstruation is the monthly discharge of blood that lasts from three to ten days. Any blood released for less than three days or beyond ten days is not considered menstruation [Maraqi al-Falah]. The fact that you consider it menstrual blood is not legally relevant. Its exceeding ten days means that it can not be considered as such. Rather it will be considered abnormal uterine bleeding (istihada) so after the tenth day one must perform a ritual bath and start praying. In addition, as the bleeding has exceeded ten days one must rely on one’s previous menstrual period (‘aada) to ascertain how many days of the bleeding are to be considered menstruation. So for example if one’s last menstrual period was 9 days and then the next one was 11 days, one would perform a ghusl and start praying on the tenth day and one would make up one day of prayers as the menstruation will be seen to have ended on the 9th day and the tenth will be considered abnormal uterine bleeding (istihada). There is no difficulty or hardship in this. It is purely submission. Sohail Hanif http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=3031&CATE=132

by Shaykh Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh Call towards the path of your Rabb with wisdom and good admonition. (16:125) This is the order of Allāh ta‘ālā to every believer. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam spent his entire life calling towards the Path of Allāh ta‘ālā with the concern that every single human being should be saved from the fire of Jahannam and granted entry into Jannah. Out of this concern, he continuously instructed and taught people to do good and refrain from evil. As followers of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, we also need to adopt this concern for our Muslim brothers and sisters and our fellow human beings. We should ask ourselves: “How can I help others to follow the Straight Path, reach Allāh ta‘ālā, acquire entry into Jannah and secure refuge from the Fire of Jahannam?” Be a Mirror Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has said: A believer is a mirror for [another] believer. (Abū Dāwūd) When you stand in front of a mirror it shows your physical appearance. It reveals what is good about the way you look as well as any defects you may have. In this hadīth, Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam instructs every believer to be like a mirror for other believers. A number of important points can be derived from this hadīth: 1. If you witness another believer behaving incorrectly, you should inform him, for you are a mirror for him and a mirror points out the defects of the one who stands in front of it. However, a mirror reveals the faults very quietly, without bringing disgrace; you should do the same too. 2. A mirror does not only reveal physical defects but also physical beauty. Similarly, when advising a fellow believer, you should highlight his mistakes in the overall context of his good attributes, an approach that is more palatable to the one being advised and less likely to breed resentment. Take the example of someone who performs sajdah in a manner contrary to the Sunnah: inform him of his mistake after commending him on the correctness of the rest of his salāh. 3. Just as you are a mirror for other believers, every other believer is also a mirror for you. So every Muslim is simultaneously a mirror and a person standing in front of a mirror; an advisor and one who is advised. 4. If a mirror reveals a defect in your appearance, you may be upset but you will not feel resentment or anger towards the mirror. Similarly, when another Muslim adopts the role of a mirror and advises you of something you are doing wrong, you should not get offended. Why should we take offence when someone points out a shortcoming in us that, if left unattended would make us unsuccessful at the time of death, in the grave and on the Day of Qiyāmah? Instead, we should be happy. In fact, it is only those who have love and concern for us that will go to the trouble of informing us of our shortcomings. The Sharī‘ah commands us to point out the mistakes of a fellow brother in a polite manner, tactfully, with wisdom and concern. However, even if someone were to point out a fault impolitely, we should still not take offence and still be happy that he helped save us from harm in the hereafter. If we were walking along a path and about to fall into a hole and someone shouted in an impolite way for us to stop, we would thank him and be grateful and indebted to him for saving us, despite his manner. Shaykh Qārī Siddīq Bandwi rahimahullāh was a great scholar and a very pious saint. He treated me with a lot of love and affection and I had the privilege of accompanying him when he was here on his one and only visit to the UK, during the latter days of his life. In a talk in Walsall he said: “Assume you have two doors to your house, one at the front and one at the back, and you only ever use the front door. One day, your neighbour is in his garden when he notices a huge crack in the back wall of your house. He then knocks on your door and tells you about the structural damage to your house, and advises you to tend to it without delay. Will you feel happy he told you or unhappy? Will you feel indebted to him or not?” We all answered that we would be happy and indebted to him. The Shaykh continued: “If someone sees a structural problem in our spiritual and religious ‘building’, and says e.g. that ghībah is harām and will bring our spiritual structure down, why do we feel offended?” Concern for Self-Rectification Our mashāyikh have mentioned that while being concerned for the spiritual wellbeing of others, we should always be concerned about our self-rectification too. A person who is particular about his appearance will often be seen standing before a mirror. Those who are concerned about their spiritual rectification and purifying themselves from any religious mistakes will also be seen ‘standing before the mirror’ by asking their friends to point out any shortcomings and highlight any room for rectification they see. The fact is, at times we cannot see our own faults and it takes someone else to point them out to us. ‘Umar al-Fārūq radhiyallāhu ‘anhu had great concern for his self-rectification, despite his eminent status and despite having been given the glad tidings of Jannah by Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam on numerous occasions. A question he once asked Hudhayfah ibn Yamān radhiyallāhu ‘anhu reflects this concern. Hudhayfah radhiyallāhu ‘anhu was known as Sāhibu Sirri Rasūlillāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, i.e. one to whom Rasūlullāh confided certain information that no one else knew. One such piece of information was the names of those among the Muslims who were actually hypocrites. ‘Umar radhiyallāhu ‘anhu, concerned about his own standing in the eyes of Allāh ta‘ālā, once asked whether his own name was among the list of hypocrites, upon which Ḥudhayfah radhiyallāhu ‘anhu assured him it was not. Four Ways to Self-Rectification Our mashāyikh have explained that there are four ways through which a person can rectify himself: 1. The best way, is to find a shaykh. Hand yourself over to him and give him full liberty to carry out your spiritual rectification in the way he sees fit. Normally, complete rectification is not possible without the guidance of a shaykh. However, until you find a shaykh, adopt one of the following three methods (these methods are also beneficial for those who have a shaykh): 2. When you see someone doing something wrong, reflect immediately on your own life and question yourself whether you are free of that shortcoming or not. 3. Keep your ears open to what your enemies say about you. It is part of life that people have enemies, those who dislike them and talk about them. You should reflect on the faults they perceive in you, and if those faults truly exist, they should be rectified. 4. Tell your friends to act as mirrors and notify you of any faults they see in you. http://www.at-tazkiyah.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=162:live-like-a-mirror&catid=16&Itemid=106

Question Can we use Google and Youtube now? Answer In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. Google is a search engine that indexes web pages so that the user can search for and seek the information they desire through the use of keywords. YouTube is a video sharing website on which users can upload, view and share videos. The use of these websites is similar to the use of a car; they can be both beneficial and detrimental depending on what one uses them for. If a person navigates and goes to impermissible places (websites) and views impermissible and illicit material (pornography, music, movies, interaction with the opposite gender etc.) then using websites such as Google and YouTube will be impermissible. However if a person uses these websites for beneficial and educational purposes; to listen to Quran, read literature, listen to speeches etc. then using these websites will be permissible. If one fears that one will not be able to refrain from browsing impermissible content and material; even if the purpose of using the internet is permissible; he should refrain from browsing the internet altogether. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Saanwal ibn Muhammad, Student Darul Iftaa UK Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/24513

Q. If a woman has to use a vaginal inserting cream twice a day, does she need to take ghusl everytime she uses the cream? (Query published as received) A. Ghusl will not be necessary. If she is in the state of Wudhu, her Wudhu will break. If she is fasting, the fast will break by inserting the cream. And Allah Knows Best Mufti Suhail Tarmahomed Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

“Our lives are seasons to earn for the Hereafter; whatever profit we can make during this time cannot be made once our ‘season’ is over.” The first step to success is to make a firm resolution.

Teenage SuicideIs your child in danger? Of the many socials ills that society is facing, perhaps the most tragic is that of teenage suicide. A young life brimming with potential, a life treasured by parents and family snuffed out before its flame could burn brightly. What sight can be more horrific than of a parent walking into their child’s bedroom only to find him hanging from the rafters or with the bed linen soaked with blood from a slit wrist? The tragedy is that if the same person had to live just a few more years and be able to look back at his decision, then he would realise just how petty was the problem over which he took his own life. However there is no reversal. Causes: While the causes of suicide vary, it is generally a buildup of multiple causes which pushes a person beyond sane thought and action. Some of these include: Major Disappointment Suffering a major disappointment such as rejection, loss of a boyfriend or girlfriend or failure at school or in sports may trigger suicidal tendencies in teenagers. Though some of these actions are Haraam, they are unfortunately prevalent in the lives of many of our teenagers. Stress Stress, confusion, pressure and worries about self-worth are common problems in many teenagers. Teenagers may have to go through parental divorce, moving in with a new family, living in a new location or going to a different school. In some cases, teenagers may be victims of physical or sexual abuse. These unsettling matters intensify feelings such as distress, anxiety or agitation. Depression Depression is another major cause of suicide. This mental disorder can cause feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. Approximately 75 percent of people who commit suicide suffer from depression, according to the Harris County Psychiatric Center at the University of Texas. Substance Abuse Drug or alcohol abuse can lead to impulsive behavior, especially if a teenager is haunted by other problems such as a mental disorder or family difficulties. Like adults who turn to alcohol or drugs, teenagers may believe that substance abuse will bring them relief from their difficulties, but it only worsens the problems. Substance abuse and mental disorders play prominent roles in a majority of suicides. Added to this, adolescence is generally a vulnerable time in a person’s life. No matter how small or big their problems, their troubles may feel to be unbearable or overwhelming. Couple this with a lack of parental support and we have a recipe for terrible disaster. According to a study, more than 90% of teenagers who attempted suicide said that little or no parental care and understanding led them to take this extreme step. Suicide warning signs § Talking or joking about committing suicide § Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.” § Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”) § Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide § Engaging in reckless and dangerous behavior § Giving away prized possessions § Saying goodbye to friends and family as if for the last time What can you do? Parents taking time out to be there for their kids is the first step in the right direction. As Yawar Baig succinctly points out: “Today in the Yuppie and Puppy cultures the idea of bringing up children is to feed them, ensure that they are washed and dried and entertained. This thinking is the root of all evil. Food, a dry bed and toys is what your dog needs, not your child.” Don’t be selfish with your time or the time will come when you will want to engage with your kids, but they will want nothing to do with you Speak up if you’re worried If you notice concerning behaviour from your child, you must speak up. Very often your child will not want to discuss his or her problems especially if there was a former communication barrier. Breaking the ice and opening lines of communication can be a daunting task. Forcing the issue will not help. You will have to be gentle yet persistent in your approach. When they do open up, take time to listen to their issues. Do not interrupt or trivialise their issues. Issues small to you maybe mountains to them. Be sympathetic, caring and helpful. You may take it for granted but at times, all that your child needs is to know that someone cares Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians 223 Alpine Road, Overport, Durban

Jazaakillah sis...I must make time for this inshaAllah

Subject: ISRAELI MOTHER ADDRESSES THE EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT Touching speech, please share. Israeli mother Addresses European Parliament. Dear Friends, Dr. Nurit Peled-Elhanan is the mother of Smadar Elhanan, 13 years old when killed by a suicide bomber in Jerusalem in September 1997. Below is Nurit's speech made on International Women's Day in Strasbourg earlier this month. Please listen to the words of a bereaved mother, whose daughter fell victim to a vicious, indiscriminating terrorist attack. I wish her words will enter the hearts of all peace seekers in our troubled and divided world. For better days, Professor Avraham Oz Department of Hebrew and Comparative Literature University of Haifa WOMEN by Nurit Peled-Elhanan Thank you for inviting me to this today. It is always an honour and a pleasure to be here, among you (at the European Parliament). However, I must admit I believe you should have invited a Palestinian woman at my stead, because the women who suffer most from violence in my county are the Palestinian women. And I would like to dedicate my speech to Miriam R`aban and her husband Kamal, from Bet Lahiya in the Gaza strip, whose five small children were killed by Israeli soldiers while picking strawberries at the family`s strawberry field. No one will ever stand trial for this murder. When I asked the people who invited me here why didn't they invite a Palestinian woman, the answer was that it would make the discussion too localized. I don't know what is non-localized violence. Racism and discrimination may be theoretical concepts and universal phenomena but their impact is always local, and real. Pain is local, humiliation, sexual abuse, torture and death, are all very local, and so are the scars. It is true, unfortunately, that the local violence inflicted on Palestinian women by the government of Israel and the Israeli army, has expanded around the globe, In fact, state violence and army violence, individual and collective violence, are the lot of Muslim women today, not only in Palestine but wherever the enlightened western world is setting its big imperialistic foot. It is violence which is hardly ever addressed and which is halfheartedly condoned by most people in Europe and in the USA . This is because the so-called free world is afraid of the Muslim womb. Great France of "la liberte égalite et la fraternite" is scared of little girls with head scarves. Great Jewish Israel is afraid of the Muslim womb which its ministers call a demographic threat. Almighty America and Great Britain are infecting their respective citizens with blind fear of the Muslims, who are depicted as vile, primitive and blood-thirsty, apart from their being non-democratic, chauvinistic and mass producers of future terrorists. This in spite of the fact that the people who are destroying the world today are not Muslim. One of them is a devout Christian, one is Anglican and one is a non-devout Jew. I have never experienced the suffering Palestinian women undergo every day, every hour, I don't know the kind of violence that turns a woman's life into constant hell. This daily physical and mental torture of women who are deprived of their basic human rights and needs of privacy and dignity, women whose homes are broken into at any moment of day and night, who are ordered at a gun-point to strip naked in front of strangers and their own children, whose houses are demolished , who are deprived of their livelihood and of any normal family life. This is not part of my personal ordeal. But I am a victim of violence against women insofar as violence against children is actually violence against mothers. Palestinian, Iraqi, Afghan women are my sisters because we are all at the grip of the same unscrupulous criminals who call themselves leaders of the free enlightened world and in the name of this freedom and enlightenment rob us of our children. Furthermore, Israeli, American, Italian and British mothers have been for the most part violently blinded and brainwashed to such a degree that they cannot realize their only sisters, their only allies in the world are the Muslim Palestinian, Iraqi or Afghani mothers, whose children are killed by our children or who blow themselves to pieces with our sons and daughters. They are all mind-infected by the same viruses engendered by politicians. And the viruses , though they may have various illustrious names--such as Democracy, Patriotism, God, Homeland--are all the same. They are all part of false and fake ideologies that are meant to enrich the rich and to empower the powerful. We are all the victims of mental, psychological and cultural violence that turn us to one homogenic group of bereaved or potentially bereaved mothers. Western mothers who are taught to believe their uterus is a national asset just like they are taught to believe that the Muslim uterus is an international threat. They are educated not to cry out: `I gave him birth, I breast fed him, he is mine, and I will not let him be the one whose life is cheaper than oil, whose future is less worth than a piece of land.` All of us are terrorized by mind-infecting education to believe all we can do is either pray for our sons to come back home or be proud of their dead bodies. And all of us were brought up to bear all this silently, to contain our fear and frustration, to take Prozac for anxiety, but never hail Mama Courage in public. Never be real Jewish or Italian or Irish mothers. I am a victim of state violence. My natural and civil rights as a mother have been violated and are violated because I have to fear the day my son would reach his 18th birthday and be taken away from me to be the game tool of criminals such as Sharon, Bush, Blair and their clan of blood-thirsty, oil-thirsty, land thirsty generals.. Living in the world I live in, in the state I live in, in the regime I live in, I don't dare to offer Muslim women any ideas how to change their lives. I don't want them to take off their scarves, or educate their children differently, and I will not urge them to constitute Democracies in the image of Western democracies that despise them and their kind. I just want to ask them humbly to be my sisters, to express my admiration for their perseverance and for their courage to carry on, to have children and to maintain a dignified family life in spite of the impossible conditions my world in putting them in. I want to tell them we are all bonded by the same pain, we all the victims of the same sort of violence even though they suffer much more, for they are the ones who are mistreated by my government and its army, sponsored by my taxes. Islam in itself, like Judaism in itself and Christianity in itself, is not a threat to me or to anyone. American imperialism is, European indifference and co-operation is and Israeli racism and its cruel regime of occupation is. It is racism, educational propaganda and inculcated xenophobia that convince Israeli soldiers to order Palestinian women at gun-point, to strip in front of their children for security reasons, it is the deepest disrespect for the other that allow American soldiers to rape Iraqi women, that give license to Israeli jailers to keep young women in inhuman conditions, without necessary hygienic aids, without electricity in the winter, without clean water or clean mattresses and to separate them from their breast-fed babies and toddlers. To bar their way to hospitals, to block their way to education, to confiscate their lands, to uproot their trees and prevent them from cultivating their fields. I cannot completely understand Palestinian women or their suffering. I don't know how I would have survived such humiliation, such disrespect from the whole world. All I know is that the voice of mothers has been suffocated for too long in this war-stricken planet. Mothers` cry is not heard because mothers are not invited to international forums such as this one. This I know and it is very little. But it is enough for me to remember these women are my sisters, and that they deserve that I should cry for them, and fight for them. And when they lose their children in strawberry fields or on filthy roads by the checkpoints, when their children are shot on their way to school by Israeli children who were educated to believe that love and compassion are race and religion dependent, the only thing I can do is stand by them and their betrayed babies, and ask what Anna Akhmatova--another mother who lived in a regime of violence against women and children--asked: Why does that streak o blood, rip the petal of your cheek?

Nobel Peace Prize winner “Tawakkul Karman,” ‘The mother of Yemen’s revolution,’ when asked about her Hijab by journalists and how it is not proportionate with her level of intellect and education, replied: “Man in early times was almost naked, and as his intellect evolved he started wearing clothes. What I am today and what I’m wearing represents the highest level of thought and civilization that man has achieved, and is not regressive. It’s the removal of clothes again that is a regression back to the ancient times.”

Question: I recently married and my husband has on several occasions had intercourse with me during my menses. Despite my refusal he still would not listen, due to which I am greatly distressed. I am also greatly concerned about the future because I am sure he would do the same. I would like to ask you, that if he attempts to do so again, do I have the right to forcefully stop him or not? Will I be sinful for not doing so? Answer From: Hazrat Moulana Mufti Nazeer Ahmed Qasmi – Head Mufti, Darul Uloom Rahimiya, Bandipora, Kashmir: In the state of menstruation, it is permissible for the husband and wife to lay together, kissing and caressing is also allowed. However, to fulfil ones desires to the extent of having intercourse is strictly prohibited. It is also mentioned in the Holy Qur’an: “O Muhammed, they ask you concerning menstruation. Say: it is an impurity, so keep away from women in their menstruation and do not approach them till they are purified.” (Surah Baqarah) In a Hadith, the Prophet has mentioned: “That person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating or that person who has intercourse in the unnatural place (anus) or that person who goes to a fortune teller, he has refuted that religion which has been revealed to me.” (Tirmizhi) Therefore in light of the Qur’an and Hadith, to have intercourse during menstruation in not only strictly prohibited, but a major sin. It has been mentioned in another Hadith: “That person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating should give half a dinar in charity.” (Tirmizhi) In our terms fifty pence or something to its value. Furthermore, intercourse during menstruation for both man and woman results in many severe illnesses. This fact has been acknowledged by doctors past and present. If the Husband in an uncontrollable desire forces his wife to have intercourse even though she is menstruating, it is obligatory for her to refuse. If she does not do so, she will also be sinful. If the woman refuses despite the insistence of her husband, she will not be sinful, rather she will be rewarded for abstaining from sin and causing her husband to do so too. From those sins which Islam has classified as ‘major’, one of them is having sexual relations in the state of menstruation. If the husband due to his overriding passions finds it difficult to control himself then during the days of menstruation, separate sleeping arrangements should be made. Furthermore, both parties should continue to repent for this sin thus far. Inter-Islam

Of all the A’maal (actions) in Islam, Salah requires our first and foremost attention and care. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) stated, “The first thing one will be held accountable for on the Day of Judgment is Salah (prayer).” (Sunan Abu Dawud, al Nasa’i: Kitab al Salah Bab al Muhasabati `ala al Salat #469-471; Al Hakim also narrated it and said it is sahih) In another Hadith it is mentioned, “On the Day of Judgement, the very first question that will be asked to man out of his deeds will be about Salah; if his Salah is correct he will succeed but if it is incomplete, he will be disgraced and will suffer loss.- Tabarani Depending upon the inner and outer quality of Salah, the worshipers have different grades. Shaykh Abul Hasan Ali Nadwi (RA) writes: “There is nothing dry or mechanical about Salah. It is not a soulless ritual, frozen into rigidity, in which there is no scope for development and everyone is compelled to stay at the same level. On the contrary, its field is very vast in which the devotee is carried forward from state to state, from advancement to perfection and from perfection to heights that are beyond the imagination of man. In it, the position of one is different from that of the other. The grade varies from person to person. A Salah performed with negligence and ignorance cannot be treated as equal to that of attention and awareness. In the same way, the Salah of the general body of Muslims cannot match the Salah of the enlightened men of God in virtue and excellence. It is also not necessary that a devotee always maintains the same standard and the Salah he offered today was identical in quality to what he had offered up yesterday or a few months or years earlier. Thus, we find that two categories of Salah are mentioned in the Quran, praiseworthy and blameworthy. Of the later type of Salah it says: “Ah, woe unto worshippers who are heedless of their prayer, (and) who are hypocrites and refuse even small kindnesses.” (Surah Al-Ma’oon- cvii: 4-7) And, of the former: “Successful indeed are the believers who are humble in their prayers.” (Surah Al-Muminoon- xxiii: 1-2) The Holy Prophet (SAWS), also, has spoken of two kinds of Salah, one of reverence, sincerity and humbleness and the other of negligence, hurry and carelessness. Concerning the Salah of the first category Uthman bin Affan [RA] relates that “He [the Prophet SAWS] performed the Wudhu, and performed it well, and then, he remarked, he who performs the Wudhu like me and performs two Rakahs of Salah in such a way that he thinks of nothing else during it, all his previous sins will be forgiven”. –Bukhari and Muslim It is related by Hazrat Uqba bin Aamir (RA) that the Prophet (SAWS) once said, “Paradise becomes the right of a Muslim who performs the Wudhu properly and then stands up and offers two Rakahs of Salah and remains attentive in it both with his face and his heart”. -Muslim About the Salah of the other kind, it is related by Ammar bin Yasir (RA) that once he heard the Prophet (SAWS) saying, “A person completes his Salah and yet only one‐tenth, and sometimes, one‐ninth, one‐eighth, one‐seventh, one‐sixth, one‐fifth, one‐fourth, one‐third or one‐half of it comes to his lot.”- Abu Dawood and Nisai. It is, again, related that the Prophet once said, “The worst of men is he who steals his Salah”. The Holy Companions, thereupon asked, “O Prophet of God! How can a person steal his own Salahs?” The Prophet replied, “He neither performs the Wudhu properly nor the Sajda”. - Muslim It is related by Hazrat Anas (RA) that the Prophet (SAWS), once said, “He is a hypocrite who keeps on looking at the sun till it turns pale and comes between the two horns of the Devil and then gets up and hurriedly offers up four Rakahs of Salah like a hen pecking at the grain in which the remembrance of God is only nominal.”- Nisai In Salah the grades of the devotees are different. The Salah of one devotee cannot be judged by the Salah of the other. The Salah of the sacred Prophet (SAWS) was of the highest order, higher, superior and more perfect than that of any one, and it also held the greatest weight in the Scales of God. Closest to his Salah was the Salah of Hadhrat Abu Bakr (RA). It was for this reason that Hadhrat Abu Bakr (RA) was commanded by the holy Prophet (SAWS), during his last illness, to lead the prayer‐service in his place though Hadhrat Ayesha (RA) had suggested the name of Hadhrat Omar (RA). But the Prophet insisted on it and, so, it was done. [bukhari] Salah is an indicator of one’s level in the Deen: Further, there is no better measuring‐yard of one’s place and position in Islam than Salah. The quality of person’s prayers tells more about his inner state than any other thing. Thus, all the outstanding personalities of Islam, whose names are still cherished in history, have attained that lofty position and immortality by paying the greatest attention to Salah and carrying it to the highest stage of perfection which, in the Islamic parlance, is referred to as Ihsan.”

Question: I had an argument with my husband and he kicked me in my lower abdomen. This has happened several times before as well. Now my husband is saying that I provoked him to hit me and I deserved that. Now I want a divorce but I am thinking about my kids. I don’t want to be hit anymore and I know he will do such a thing again as he has a very short temper. Please tell me what to do in this situation. Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. We read your account of events and understand the following: You had an argument with your husband and your husband physically abused you. This is not the first time you have experienced this. You are considering divorce but are unsure due to your children. Allah the Almighty ordained marriage to be a source of peace and tranquility amongst mankind. Marriage is supposed to induce the greatest amount of understanding, harmony and love between two strangers. Allah the Almighty describes the husband and wife as a garment for one another: هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ “Your wives are garments for you and you are garments for your wives.” Garments are multi-purpose They cover the body, provide warmth in the summer and keep the body cool in the winter. Likewise, they are a source of beauty and chastity. If one does not look after his garments, he does not iron them and wash the stains, the garments will no longer serve the purpose of beauty, protection and warmth. Likewise, in a marriage, each partner must tend to the needs of their spouse. The husband and wife must constantly tend to the needs of their spouse in order to keep everything tidy. Being abusive towards a partner is totally prohibited and condemned by Shari’ah. Injustice towards any human being is a major sin. The beloved wife of the Prophet (salutations and peace be upon him) Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), testified that the Prophet never abused or hit his wife or servant.[ii] The first step to solve all our problems is turning to Allah the Almighty sincerely. Make constant dua to Allah; He is there to respond to you. Consider the following verse: وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ (186) And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.[iii] Do you not see how Allah changes a barren land into a rich green flourishing plain? Have you not read how Allah Ta’ala changed the conditions for the Prophet (Salutations and peace be upon him)? There was a time when his own tribe wanted to end his life. He was banished from his home town. A time came when all submitted to him and cherished his presence. How many a time has Allah Ta’ala cured people who were thought to be in the jaws of death? Allah can change the heart and condition of people instantly. Nothing is difficult for Allah Ta’ala. Sincerely turn to Allah in supplication and try your utmost not to displease Him. After every salah, supplicate to Allah, this is the time when dua is readily accepted. In addition to making dua, speak to your spouse when he is not in a hurry or under stress. Open up and reveal to him your feelings. Make him remember the love you both experienced in the first couple of months of your marriage. Tell him and show him what he means to you. If speaking to your husband is not possible, consider seeking the assistance of neutral family members. Allah Ta’ala instructs us in such situations to appoint two arbitrators: “And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].”[iv] Consider the following texts. You were rewarded by Allah the Almighty for everything you endured: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: من يرد الله به خيراً يصب منه The Messenger of Allah (salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, “When Allah desires good for someone, He afflicts him.”[v] عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ما يصيب المسلم من نصب ولا وصبٍ ولا همٍ ولا حزنٍ ولا أذىً ولا غمٍ، حتى الشوكة يشاكها إلا كفر الله بها من خطاياه. The Prophet (salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, “No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his mistakes by it.”[vi] قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: ما يزال البلاء بالمؤمن والمؤمنة في نفسه وولده وماله حتى يلقى الله تعالى وما عليه خطيئةٌ The Messenger of Allah(salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, “Believers, both men and women, will continue to be afflicted in respect of themselves, their children and their property until they meet Allah without any wrong actions at all.”[vii] وقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: إن عظم الجزاء مع عظم البلاء، وإن الله تعالى إذا أحب قوماً ابتلاهم، فمن رضي فله الرضا، ومن سخط فله السخط رواه الترمذي وقال: حديثٌ حسنٌ. The Prophet (salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, “The greatest reward goes together with the greatest affliction. When Allah Almighty loves people, He tests them. All who are content receive His good pleasure. Those who are angry receive His anger.” [viii] قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: عجباً لأمر المؤمن إن أمره كله له خيرٌ، وليس ذلك لأحدٍ إلا للمؤمن: إن أصابته سراء شكر فكان خيراً له، وإن أصابته ضراء صبر فكان خيراً له The Messenger of Allah (salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, ‘What an extraordinary thing the business of the believer is! All of it is good for him. And that only applies to the believer. If good fortune is his lot, he is grateful and it is good for him. If something harmful happens to him, he is steadfast and that is good for him too.’” [ix] We recommend you make it a practice to read the book called ‘Don’t be sad’ by ‘Aa’idh al-Qarni. The book is available in many languages and easily available. Try and read an Islamic book with your husband and children daily. Fix a time in the day, even if it is 5 minutes. A famous work to read together is ‘Fazaa’il al-A’maal’. It will be the means of Islam flourishing in your home and that will bring about love and harmony in your four walls. Your husband needs counselling and possibly he may need to visit a psychiatrist. Anger is something which needs to be tamed just like animals. Anger management courses are easily available and should be benefitted from by your husband. One has to acknowledge his illness before any illness can be cured. It would be a wise idea to purchase books written on anger and such negative traits. Place these books around the house so that they can catch the eye of your husband. Another positive avenue for your husband is the company of the pious. He needs spiritual rectification. Encourage him to attend such gatherings. If you cannot encourage him, then purchase a receiver and listen to the lectures and programs of the masjid. Alternatively, listen to the spiritual rectification gatherings streamed online of the pious and god-fearing ulamā (scholars). The broadcasting words will definitely penetrate his ears. We make sincere dua to Allah the Almighty He grants you ease and happiness. Aameen. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Mufti Faraz al-Mahmudi Darul Iftaa Dublin, Ireland http://darulfiqh.com/what-do-i-do-with-my-abusive-husband/

Sunnat method of eating! Sheikh Abdu of Al-Azhar university in Egypt had visited India. He visited Darul Uloom Deoband as well, and had meals with Hadrat Moulana Anwar Shah Kashmiri Rahimahullah. He told Moulana Anwar Shah Kashmiri Rahimahullah, “Why don’t you also eat with the fork and spoon (as the Egyptians generally eat).” Moulana immediately stretched out his hand with his four fingers stretched out and said, “I am eating with a fork!” (As a fork has got 4 throngs, my hand has also got 4 throngs!) He then said, “my fork is better than your fork in 4 ways:” 1.My fork can feel the temperature of the food whilst your fork cannot. 2. My fork can bend and catch hold of the food easily, whilst your fork cannot. I notice how you suffer to get hold of your food. 3. If my fork hits against my teeth or gums I do not feel any real pain, whilst your fork causes you great pain. 4. My fork excretes a fluid after eating which helps with digestion, whilst your fork is unable to do so. Hadrat Maulana Abdul Hamid Saheb Daamat Barakaatuhum has added three more points to the above, 1.My fork is made by Allah Ta’ala whilst your fork is man-made. If it is made in China, it will most probably break during the course of the first meal. 2. I personally wash my fork before meals (which is sunnat), whilst your fork is washed by somebody else if it is washed. 3. The greatest benefit of all is that my fork is sunnat, whilst your fork is the way of the enemies of Islam, the way of shaytaan.

Q: Can my husband add female cousins on his facebook account? And can he kiss his female cousins or shake hands with them? A. Strict Hijaab has to be observed between those males and females who can marry each other. This includes cousins. It will be HARAAM to have contact with them via facebook. Kissing them and shaking their hand is also completely Haraam. Moulana Yusuf Laher Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai http://www.askmufti.co.za/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=459:interacting-with-female-cousins-&catid=72:miscellaneous&Itemid=82

<QUESTION> What is the Islamic verdict on contraception and birth control in general? Is it only permissible at times of need? <ANSWER> In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, First of all, it should be known that, one of the main aims of marriage in Islam is procreation. Islam encourages its followers to reproduce in large numbers in order to increase the size of the Ummah of our Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace). Allah Most High says in the Qur’an: “So now hold intercourse with your wives and seek (the children) what Allah has ordained for you.” ( Surah al-Baqarah, V: 187) In a Hadith recorded by Imam Abu Dawud, Imam an-Nasa'i and others, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Marry women who are loving and reproduce in abundance, for I shall outnumber the other nations by you.” It is clear from the above, that Shariah encourages its followers to abstain from practicing birth control, especially, when it is given a formal, organized and general approach. Therefore, one should refrain from practicing contraception unless necessary. As far as the Shar’i ruling is concerned, there are two categories of birth control and the ruling of each is different. The ruling of each category is as follows: 1) Permanent Irreversible Contraception This type of contraception is carried out when the couple decide never to have a baby. It is done with a sterilization operation carried out either on the man (Vasectomy) or the woman (Tubectomy) and renders the couple incapable of ever having children. The ruling with regards to this is that, it is unlawful (Haram) to carry out such operations. There are many Narrations of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and clear texts of the Fuqaha (Jurists) which determine this. The Companion, Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (Allah be pleased with him) said: “We use engage in Jihad in the company of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and our wives did not accompany us. We said: O Prophet of Allah! Shall we not castrate ourselves? He forbade us from doing so.” (Sahih al-Bukhari) The great Hanafi Jurist, Allama Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) says: “Castration of humans is Haram.” (Radd al-Muhtar). Imam al-Ayni (Allah have mercy on him) says: “Castration (and sterilization, m) is prohibited with the consensus of all the scholars.” (Umdat al-Qari) However, in cases of extreme necessity, Irreversible contraception will become permissible. For example, a woman’s life is in danger or repeated pregnancies gravely damage her health, etc. This however, should be advised by a Muslim qualified doctor. 2) Temporary Reversible Contraception There are many methods by which reversible contraception can be performed. Coitus interruptus (Withdrawal method), the pill, using of the condom, i.u.d, spermicidal, just to mention a few. The ruling on reversible contraception is that, it is somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan) if practiced without any reason. If there is a genuine reason, then it will be totally permissible with the permission of the wife. Some of the reasons (for the permissibility of reversible contraception), which the Fuqaha mention, are: a) Physical state of the woman, b) Weakness and illness, c) The couple are on a distant journey, d) The couple’s relations are unstable and divorce is likely, e) Spacing out children in order to give them adequate care and attention, If contraception is practiced due to a reason contrary to the teachings of Shariah, then it will not be permissible. Some of these reasons are: a) Fear of poverty and not being able to provide, b) For the fashion of keeping small families and imitating the Kuffar, c) Being ashamed of having a girl, There are many narrations from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) which signify the permissibility of reversible contraception, but at the same time indicate it to be undesirable. Sayyiduna Jabir (Allah be pleased with him) says: “We used to practice Coitus interruptus (Withdrawal method) while the Qur’an was being revealed. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) knew of this and did not prohibit us.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim ) This has more or less been mentioned by the scholars in their books. (See Imam Nawawi in his commentary of Sahih Muslim, Mulla Ali al-Qari in al-Mirqat, Ibn Abidin in his Radd al-Muhtar and others. For more details, please refer to my book on this subject titled Birth Control and Abortion (Revised Edition), available from the Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK. And Allah Knows Best [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam Darul Iftaa Leicester , UK

A student who has not made any effort and who everyone knows will fail the exams is not prevented from sitting the exams as this will give him the perfect excuse to claim injustice. His failure will be proof enough. So it is when we are tested with trials and tribulations. A declaration of faith by a Believer is a proclamation of being an ‘Aashiq (a lover of Allah subhaanahu wata’ala) and it is the dastoor (the way) of this world that the beloved will test the lover. Allah subhaanahu wata’ala knows the state of our hearts so He tests the Believers to differentiate the liars and the truthful ones. Without these tests the liars and the hypocrites will claim injustice on the Day of Judgement when they’re consigned to the Fire. Those who fail these tests will wail and moan and ask “Why me?” On the other hand the true lovers will say “But this is what Allah subhaanahu wata’al and His Rasool sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam promised. We expected to be tested. We are yours O our Lord,” They will accept without question the decree of the Beloved with an increase in their love and strengthening of their faith. They will remain firm despite the trials and tribulations coming their way, like the tender crop swaying in the direction of the blowing winds. If the winds come from one direction they will bend one way and then stand up straight only to be bent in another direction with the blowing winds. A tall standing tree on the other hand will not be affected by the winds. It will remain standing straight, seemingly indestructible until a gale force wind comes along and removes it from its root and it is thrown aside, useless and destroyed. Narrated Kab may Allah be pleased with him: The Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم said, "The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant, which the wind bends it sometimes and some other time it makes it straight. And the example of a hypocrite is that of a pine tree which keeps straight till once it is uprooted suddenly. Chapter of Patients, Bukhari Shareef Volume 7, Book 70, Number 546: Therefore when struck by pain and grief, loss of wealth or loved ones, remain steadfast and ask for ease and ‘aafiyat (safety) and know that you are among the Believers, the true lovers of Allah subhaanahu wata’ala. “’Aashiq, maashuq par i’itiraaz nahi kartaa” (A lover does not question/doubt the beloved) From the teachings of Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat (Hafizahullah)

By Aisha Stacey What is it about the word polygamy? Just uttering it raises eyebrows, elicitssnide remarks, or prompts crude jokes. Since the 19th century, whenthe concepts of orientalism and colonialism came to dominate Western thought, combining the words polygamy and Islam has conjured up visions of swarthy Arabmen surrounded by sexual playthings. More recently, the word polygamy has cometo represent patriarchs in the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints,having sexual relations with underage girls. While both images certainly make sensational media exposés, they could not be further from the truth. The reality of polygamy is that it is a marriage arrangement that can benefit some people, in some situations. It is not a practice confined to Middle Eastern or Muslim countries, in fact it is found world wide, and ranges across cultures and religions. Polygamy existed in ancient times and continued to flourish unremarkably for thousands of years. In the 21st century polygamy, and its myriad of implications and complications is undergoing a resurgence of sorts, albeit aided by media attention. Popular United States reality programs such as the wildly successful Oprah Show and the Discovery Network’s TLC channel have focused attention of polygamy in North America where polygamy hits the headlines repeatedly. In South Africa the fourth post apartheid president, Jacob Zuma, is a polygamist with three wives. Throughout the world, the opponents of polygamy speak about the exploitation and abuse of women and describe polygamy as a backward and medieval practice. This however is not what we hear from modern women currently in polygamous relationships. These women speak about freedom of choice, freedom of religion and the bonds of sisterhood between wives. Polygamy is not about one man dominating and abusing several women. It is about adult men and women choosing a form of marriage that suits their needs, desires, and aspirations. Islam did not introduce polygamy to the world; it did however place restrictions and conditions on this unique marriage arrangement, in order to assure that abuses did not occur. However, before we go any further and discuss the connection between Islam and polygamy it may be useful to define the term polygamy. Polygamy means having more than one spouse at a time. It comes from two Greek words, polys, meaning many, and gamos, meaning marriage. In reality there are three forms of polygamy, polygyny, where one man is married to several wives, polyandry where one woman has several husbands, and a third form, where several husbands are married to several wives. Throughout the world, all forms exist to varying degrees in various cultures. However, in Islam only one form of polygamy is permitted – polygyny. It is incorrect to presume that Christian and Jewish religions have always been opposed to polygamy. Polygyny was practiced, to varying degrees throughout the history of the three monotheistic religions- Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. The Torah and the Bible do not condemn the practice of polygyny rather some of the most esteemed and respected Prophets and Kings practiced polygyny, including Abraham, David,Jacob, and Solomon. However while there is no condemnation, there are also no restrictions on the practice of polygyny. All three monotheistic religions have been accused of misogyny and certainly, some stories and traditions tend confirm this, especially when women are referred to as property and polygyny is practised without restriction or regulation. Islam however, places limitations on the number of wives a man may take and enforces laws that reconcile marriage with gender equality. The inequalities that exist between Muslim men and women are based on cultural aberrations and are not sanctified by Islamic law. Women are described in Quran as being equal to men, and the tenants of Islam enshrine the rights and responsibilities of each member of the human race. Differences between the genders are celebrated. One life or one sex is not worth more than the other is. Islam builds on the respect, tolerance, and morality inherent in the original teachings of Judaism and Christianity and reveals itself as a code of life` for all people in all places and at all times. Polygyny is permitted in Islam and it in no way diminishes the rights or the equality of women. Islam took an already well-established practice, polygyny, and instituted regulations that prevented chaos and abuse from entering the family structure. A well-balanced functioning family, where the rights of all members are respected and upheld, is the cornerstone of Islam. A moral and ethical community stems from this family structure and it is based on realistic notions of gender equality. Polygyny is just one way consenting adult men and women can contribute to a well-rounded society free from immorality and degradation, and it is permitted under certain well-documented circumstances. Polygyny is not a fixed dogma inherent in Islam, nor is it obligatory in any way. Quran has given permission for a man to take a maximum of four wives and each successive wife enjoys the same rights and privileges as the first. Women are not forced into plural marriages without their consent. Women practising Islam have certain inalienable rights given to them by God Himself and some specifically pertain to marriage. Marrying into a polygynous family does not negate or change any of those rights. Nor are women’s rights changed or challenged if a previous monogamous marriage becomes polygynous. Marriage in Islam is a partnership between human beings seeking to please God by working towards a moral, stable life. Men and women are free to choose or reject their partners as they see fit, and Islam takes into account the vagaries of human nature. Women in Islam have rights only dreamt about by women in the West even 100 years ago. Muslim women pioneered pre-nuptial agreements, and took part in politics and scholarship when women from the Western world were unable to read and write. Polygyny upholds women’s rights and is a valid marriage arrangement that inherently accepts gender equality. Yet the word polygamy (including its variation polygyny) creates an atmosphere of fear. What is it about polygamy that we fear the most? Is it that polygyny takes into account the true nature of men and women? Alternatively, is it perhaps that the majority of those who practice polygyny lead moral upstanding lives? What is it about this modern society that allows and even sanctions bad behaviour? Men and women pass into and out of relationships with little thought of each other or the resulting children. The sanctity of marriage is passed over in favour of serial monogamy and de facto relationships. Men are encouraged to take mistresses and girlfriends but a man who wants to take more than one legal wife, in order to assume responsibility for her and their children, is condemned and branded a sex fiend or wastrel. Even in the Muslim world, men and women who choose to practice polygyny are sometimes condemned. However, the absurdity of such notions is becoming increasingly clear. Polygamy is slowly winding its way back into popular culture. Even television series such as HBO’s Big Love and the Egyptian drama, The Family of Hajj Metwalli, are beginning to portray polygyny as a valid lifestyle. The word polygamy forces us to confront issues concerned with basic human nature. People and communities around the world, Muslim and non Muslim alike, are investigating polygamous alternatives. They are looking at a marriage option with a long and valid history and wondering what it has to offer citizens of the 21st century.

Fikr (contemplation) is the lamp of the heart. In its absence, the heart will be without light. Minus fikr, the heart resembles a dark room in which there is no lamp. One does not know what lurks in that dark room in which nothing is visible. Similarly, without contemplation the reality and true nature of an object will not be fathomed. When man contemplates, the inner nature and reality of things will be revealed to him. He will see with open eyes (i.e. his spiritual eyes) the realities of Truth, Falsehood, the perishable nature of the world and the everlasting nature of the Hereafter. The Glory, Splendour, Power and Wrath of Allah, as well as Him being the True Benefactor will become vivid realities. Man will also become aware of his own hidden defects, the schemes and deceptions of his nafs and that the world is the abode of futility and deception. Ikmalush Shiyam

Different paths, same destination A car is made up of various parts like the steering wheel, tyres, brakes, etc. Now, when a driver starts driving the car and the steering wheel thinks, "What need is there for the four dirty wheels when it is I who am in the hands of the driver?" ittle does the steering wheel realise that in reality the car will not even move without the wheels and actually each part compliments the other which is necessary for the car to run smoothly. Similar is the case where the various forms of serving the Deen of Islam compliment each other. Some are busy with Tableegh and Da’wah work while others are busy with teaching. Some are responsible for masaajid while others are working in other fields, each one complementing the other. No one knows who is accepted in the court of Allah subhaanhu wata’ala. We should continue our own effort with sincerity and have the utmost respect for each and every person busy in their efforts of serving the Deen in the field of their choice. (Taken from the teachings of Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat, hafizahullah) Another analogy was given by another well known Shaykh who said that it is similar to a group of four people carrying the janaazah (carrying the deceased in a funeral). If two more people joined in no one is going to refuse them as it actually lessens the burden and if two more joined, all the better. Similarly, every effort in the service of Deen must be welcomed and supported. The efforts of each group compliments the others..... What insight these chosen friends of Allah subhaanahu wata'ala have! How much love and concern they have for the Ummah! If only we could listen with the ears of our hearts and emulate them in every way!

Empty the Heart for Allah If a dish already contains something, then to put something else in, the dish needs to be emptied. Similarly if the heart contains love for that which is ghayrullaah then the heart needs to be emptied of it before the love of Allah subhaanahu wata'ala will enter

(Recite three times) It has been narrated by Hazrat Imraan bin Husain (radhiallaho anho) that Rasulullah (sallellaho alaihe wasallam) had taught his father this dua: اَللّٰهُمَّ اَلْهِمْنِىْ رُشْدِىْ وَاَعِذْنِىْ مِنْ شَرِّ نَفْسِىْ “Oh Allah, inspire me with guidance and protect me from the evil of myself.” (Tirmizi vol.2 pg.186)

Hafsah Hafsah was the daughter of ‘Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho anho) who was born in Makkah five years before the Nubuwwat. She was first married to Hadhrat Khunais bin Huzaifah (Radhiyallaho anho), who was one of the very early Muslims. He first emigrated to Abyssinia and then to Madinah He participated in Badr, and was fatally wounded in Badr (or in Uhud) and died of the wound in the year l or 2 A. H. Hadhrat Hafsah (Radhiyallaho anha) had also emigrated to Madinah with her husband. When her husband died, Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho anho) went to Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiyallaho anho) and said: “I want to give Hafsah in marraige to you.” Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiyallaho anho) kept quiet and said nothing. Meanwhile Ruqayyah (Radhiyallaho anha) the daughter of the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) and the wife of Hadhrat Usman (Radhiyallaho anho) died. Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho anha) went to Hadhrat Usman (Radhiyallaho anho) and offered Hadhrat Hafsah (Radhiyallaho anha’s) hand to him. He declined by saying, “I have no mind to marry for the present.” Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho anho) complained of this to the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam). The Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) said: “I tell you of a husband for Hafsah better than Usman and of a wife for Usman better than Hafsah.” He then took Hadhrat Hafsah (Radhiyallaho anha) as (next wife, and gave his own daughter Hadhrat Umme Kulsum (Radhiyallaho anha) in marriage to Hadhrat Usman (Radhiyallaho anho). Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiyallaho anho) later said to Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho anho): “When you offered Hafsah’s hand to me, I kept quiet as the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) had expressed to me his intention of marrying her. I could neither accept your offer nor disclose the Prophet Mohammad’s (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) secret to you. I, therefore, kept quiet. If the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) had changed his mind, I would have gladly married her.” Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho anho) says: “Abu Bakr’s silence over the offer was in fact more shocking to me than ‘Usman’s rejection.” Hadhrat Hafsah (Radhiyallaho anha) was a very pious woman, and very much devoted to Salaat. She would often fast during the day and spend the night in prayers. Once the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) , for some reason, was displeased with Hafsah and even pronounced the first divorce to her. Hadhrat Umar (Radhlyallaho anho) was naturally very much shocked over this. Jibraeel Alayhis came to the Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) and said: Allah wants you to take Hafsah back, as she is fasting often and spending her nights in Salaat, and also Allah wants it for Hadhrat Umar’s (Radhiyallaho anho) sake. The Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe Wasallam) therefore took her back. Hadhrat Hafsah (Radhiyallaho anha) died in Jamadil oola, 45 AH, at the age of 63. Haqqislam