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SAFAH

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Everything posted by SAFAH

  1. Appreciate your parents A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the treetop, ate the apples, and took a nap under the shadow. He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by, the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree every day. One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. “Come and play with me”, the tree asked the boy. “I am no longer a kid, I do not play around trees any more” the boy replied. “I want toys. I need money to buy them.” “Sorry, but I do not have money, but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.” The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad. One day, the boy who now turned into a man returned and the tree was excited. “Come and play with me” the tree said. “I do not have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?” “Sorry, but I do not have any house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house.” So the man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the man never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the man returned and the tree was delighted. “Come and play with me!” the tree said. “I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?” said the man. “Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy.”So the man cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time. Finally, the man returned after many years. “Sorry, my boy. But I do not have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you”, the tree said. “No problem, I do not have any teeth to bite,” the man replied. “No more trunk for you to climb on.” “I am too old for that now” the man said. “I really cannot give you anything, the only thing left is my dying roots,” the tree said with tears. “I do not need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years,” the man replied. “Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest, come sit down with me and rest.” The man sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears. This is a story of everyone. The tree is like our parents. When we were young, we loved to play with our Mum and Dad. When we grow up, we leave them; only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could just to make you happy. You may think the boy is cruel to the tree, but that is how all of us treat our parents. We take them for granted; we don’t appreciate all they do for us, until it’s too late.
  2. Bismillah. Control your tongue Imam Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah said, ”What is surprising is that a person finds it easy keeping away from things like consuming the haram (forbidden), oppression, adultery, theft, drinking alcohol and looking at the impermissible, but yet he finds it difficult to guard his tongue! It’s such that you’ll see a man who is viewed to be knowledgeable and is an ascetic worshiper but he speaks with words that bring the Wrath of Allah, without giving them a second thought. How often do you see a man who steers clear of evil sins and oppression but you see his tongue sever the honour of everyone dead or alive, and he doesn’t even care about what he says!”
  3. Bismillah. The end is bliss Know, that the beginning of the path is patience, and its end is thankfulness. Its beginning is difficulty, and its end is bliss. Its beginning is toil and weariness, and its end is opening, unveiling and arrival at the ultimate goal which is gnosis of God, arrival to Him, being comforted by Him, and standing in His noble presence. The one who makes gracious patience the foundation of all his affairs, turns to every goodness, reaches everything that he hopes for, and wins all that he seeks. How can you lay claim to faith, when you have no patience at all. Surely you must have heard the saying of the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him “patience is to faith, as the head is to the body." - Jala’ Al Khawatir (Removal of Cares) – Sheikh Abdul Qadir al Jilani(ra)
  4. okey when are those lessons going to start? as iv got some one intrested from facebook.
  5. :wa: me too inshAllah. i will just put the link on facebook.
  6. When the Day of Resurrection comes, a man's wealth and capital will be his Hasanaat (good deeds). If he had done wrong to any people, they will take from his hasanaat to the extent that he mistreated them. If he does not have any hasanaat, or if his hasanaat run out, then some of their sayi`aat (bad deeds) will be taken and added to his burden. Bukhari narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) said: "Whoever wronged his brother with regard to his honor or any other matter, should seek his forgiveness today, before there are no longer any Dinars, or Dirhams; and if he has any righteous deeds, they will be taken from him, in accordance with the wrong he did; and if he has no hasanaat, some of the sayi`aat of his counterpart will be taken and added to his burden:" (Bukhari: Kitaab al-Mazaalim, Baab man kaanat lahu mazlamah 'inda rajul, Fath al-Baari, 5/101) This person whose Hasanaat (good deeds) are taken from him by the people, and then has their Sayi'aat (bad or evil deeds) placed on his own back, is the one who is bankrupt, as the Messenger (p.b.u.h.) called him. Muslim narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) said: "Do you know who is the one who is bankrupt?" They said, 'The bankrupt is the one who has no money and no possessions.' He said, 'Among my Ummah, the one who is bankrupt is the one who will come on the Day of Resurrection with prayer and fasting and Zakah (to his credit), but he will come having insulted this one, slandered that one, consumed the wealth of this one and shed the blood of that one, and beaten that one. So they will all be given some of his hasanaat, and when his hasanaat run out, before judgment is passed, some of their sins will be taken and cast onto him, then he will be cast into the Fire.'" (Muslim: 4/1998, Hadith no. 2581) If a debtor died when he still owed money to people, they will take from his Hasanaat whatever is in accordance with what he owes them. In Sunan Ibn Majah it is narrated with a Saheeh isnad that Ibn Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) stated: The Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) said: "Whoever dies owing a Dinar or a Dirham, it will be paid from his Hasanaat, for then there will be no Dinars or Dirhams." (Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer, 5/537, Hadith no. 6432) If people wronged one another, the score will be settled between them. If they mistreated one another equally, then there will be no score to settle. If one of them is still owed something by the other, he will take what he is entitled to. In Sunan at-Tirmidhi it is narrated that Aisha said: "A man came and sat in front of the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.), and said, 'O Messenger of Allah, I have two slaves who tell me lies, betray and disobey me, and I insult them and beat them. What is my position with regard to them?' The Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) said: 'On the Day of Resurrection, their betrayal, disobedience and lying will be measured against your punishment of them. If your punishment is commensurate with their wrongs, then there will be no score to settle. If your punishment of them was less than their sins deserved, then this will count in your favour. If your punishment of them was more than their sins deserved, then the score will be settled against you.' The man turned away and started to weep. The Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) said to him, 'Have you not read the words of Allah?''" "And We shall set up Balances of justice on the Day of Resurrection, then none will be dealt with unjustly in anything. And if there be the weight of a mustard seed, We will bring it. And Sufficient are We to take account." (Quran 21: 47).'" (Mishkaat al-Masaabeeh, 3/66, Hadith no. 5561) It is also narrated in Saheeh al-Jaami`, 6/327, Hadith no. 7895, where it attributed to Ahmad and Tirmidhi.) Because Zulm (oppression) is such a serious matter, it is better for those who fear that Day to give up oppression and avoid it. The Messenger (p.b.u.h.) has told us that oppression will be darkness on the Day of Resurrection. Bukhari and Muslim narrated from Abdullah Ibn Umar that the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) said: "Oppression (Zulm) will be darkness (Zulumaat) on the Day of Resurrection." (Bukhari: Kitaab al-Mazaalim, Baab az-Zulm Zulumaat Yawm al-Qiyaamah, Fath al-Baari, 51100; Muslim, 4/1969, Hadith no. 2579) Muslim narrated from Jaabir ibn Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) said: "Beware of oppression (Zulm), for oppression will be darkness (Zulumaat) on the Day of Resurrection." (Muslim: 4/1969, Hadith no. 2578)
  7. Allah will reward you greatly for your patience This is a message for every sister who didn't get married yet and is afraid of what people may say about her. Don’t worry dear sister, marriage is Rizq (provision) from Allah and He will surely grant it to you when He wills it and not when you want it. Don’t care of what people may say about you, remember that Maryam (‘alaiha salam) never got married and she is the only woman who has a whole Surah with her name! So if not having a husband is a defect, she wouldn't have been mentioned in Qur’an! Not getting married is not a flaw or a defect but not maintaining chastity is. The real defect is that a woman doesn't preserve her purity and chastity. I'm not encouraging to not get married, rather I'm informing you that marriage is not the end. Allah will bless us with marriage when the time is right. Put your hopes in Allah, and prepare yourself to be a great spouse. Be patient and be sure that Allah will reward you greatly for your patience at the end. This Dunya is not about men or getting married but about submitting your will peacefully to Allah and accept whatever He decrees for you.
  8. Peace and humility or Madness (poem) Peace&Madness. The story of his presence will be told generation after generation until it becomes but a myth, a belief, a faith. Those who believe will cherish it like a legacy, ever fulfilling, ever lasting... And for those who choose to neglect and reject will suffer the urge in depth, to try and detect, the cause of this effect where darkness is a friend and light is a sketch. Confused and doomed, from questions they assume, that might lead to an understanding of whom they are.. Yet they strive to cry their eye to desire their desires like fire getting higher they admire that magic by far. Like potions like spells, they can't seem to help but dwell a hell inside their cell drowning their soul in shadows and in cold when life try's to unfolds they turn their backs on the truth being told. But life is as easy as lâ ilâha illâ Allâh,and maybe..just maybe next time, you won't abandon the Kalimah.
  9. Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "O Aishah, abstain from the sins which are looked upon as trivial, for they too will be inquired about by Allah." [Musnad Ahmad, Nasa'i] Sins are termed as major or minor essentially because of their gravity in terms of their effects on individuals and society. Thus, some sins are considered most heinous and incur divine wrath. Among such sins are: shirk (associating partners with Allah), displeasing one’s parents, murder, bearing false testimony, adultery, fornication, practicing black magic, devouring riba (interest), stealing from an orphan’s wealth, etc. Minor sins, on the other hand, are minor in so far as the punishment for a single act of one of these is not as severe as for a major sin. Nevertheless, all sins require tawbah (sincere repentance). Sincere repentance involves four steps: The first is for a person to be deeply remorseful of the sin; Secondly, to refrain from it and all of the circumstances that led to it; thirdly, to make a firm resolution never to do it again; And finally, to follow it up by whatever good deeds one can possibly do. Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) says in the Quran, “Verily good deeds wipe out bad deeds.” [Hud: 114] The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) further explained this by saying: “Allah does not wipe out bad deeds through bad deeds; rather He blots them out through good deeds.” To repent, one must quit sinful behaviour and also cut oneself off totally and entirely from all associations or circumstances that led him/her to such sins. He/she cannot hope to change for the better without such serious measures. If, instead, one persists in the sin, he/she will end up losing the purity of their heart, their moral conscience. The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) warned us against the pervasive effects of sins on our souls. He said that when a person commits a sin, it falls like a black dot on the clean slate of his heart. If he repents, the dot is erased. If, however, he persists in the same and continues to sin, the dot continues to expand until it covers his entire heart, in which case his spiritual soul becomes completely sealed off. As a result, he fails to recognize good as good and evil as evil. The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said that this is what Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) has warned us against in the Quran: “Nay, their hearts have been sealed by the sins they have accumulated.” [Al-Mutaffifeen: 14] Abdullah bin Mas'ud (radi Allahu anhu) reported Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) as saying: "Beware of minor sins, for they will gather together on man so much so that they will kill him. [Musnad Ahmad]
  10. Here are some test questions to see how you are spending your time on earth. 1. What is one thing you love about being alive? 2. How would you finish this sentence: Thank God I'am ------------------? How long did it take you to answer each question? If you had to stop and think, you took too long. These answers should flow easily. If they don't, it is a sign you are not in touch with your heart and that it needs to be nourished. Now answer this question: When you look at the garden do you see the weeds or the flowers? If you had trouble with the answer, perhaps it is because you need to take off the blinders others have put over your eyes. You do not have to see what they tell you is before you. You have a choice in how you perceive your world. The true answers to all of these questions can only come from your heart. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
  11. The only way to stop any pain in your life is to accept the fact that nothing is yours, nothing was yours, and nothing will ever be yours. They are worldly attachments; given by ALLAH, belonging to ALLAH and returning back to ALLAH
  12. When we believe everything we hear, others can easily control us & we begin to lose track of good & bad, right & wrong. Infact nowadays even seeing is not always believing. It can be photo shopped, staged or edited. Don't movies look so real?
  13. When people refuse to spend in a good cause, perhaps their wealth is not fit enough to be accepted in that noble cause. Wealth earned through impure means is mostly used to disunite, create problems, sickness, hatred & enmity. The Almighty is pure & only accepts that which is pure. May He forgive us & grant us purity in our sustenance. Aameen.
  14. Often times we feel the urge to say whatever is on our minds. However, this is not necessarily the best character. Instead, we should strive to talk only good. "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet." Therefore, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all! (there may be exceptions to the rule, such as giving someone sincere advice and what not) (a reminder to myself first and foremost, in'sha'Allah.
  15. Although social networking sites & apps such as Facebook, Twitter etc are responsible for much irresponsibility and damage, casting people into loss, regret and darkness, I am quite convinced that we can all make ourselves responsible users of the same networks encouraging responsibility and building solid foundations, instilling high morals, removing people from darkness, showing them the light and how easy it is to tread upon the path of no regret, gaining as much as possible on their fingertips! It has never been easier to access people "sans frontiers" than this, so are we going to make use of it to create a positive impact or wait for others to do the opposite and cry when it is too late? Anyone engaged in any form of beneficial activity should be supported in it, even if it be just morally. Perhaps our own children may be saved through the effort of those whom we thought negatively about. Neither underestimate the impact of technology upon the masses nor your own impact upon others.
  16. A small misunderstanding, minor dispute or problem automatically becomes a much bigger issue if it is not dealt with right away. Satan chisels into the smallest crack making it appear to be a crater simply because it was not filled when it first appeared. An intelligent person is he who tries to resolve matters as soon as possible rather than leave them to bubble in the hearts of people until they reach boiling point. The Prophet(saw)said, “The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the one who controls himself while in anger,’ (Bukhari).
  17. When things do not go exactly the way we wanted, when we do not achieve what we have tried so hard to or when we feel so let down by others then always know that for as long as we have faith & trust in the Almighty, He definitely has something better in store for us, has saved us from a calamity or disaster that would have been in our path or has elevated our status through surrendering to His Decree. We are not considered believers until we are pleased with the Decisions of the Almighty. This will save us from much anxiety & depression. Try your best & leave the rest to Him.
  18. The Messenger PBUH has told us that closer to the Last Day, time will pass by faster and faster. A year will feel like a month, a month like a week, a week like a day and a day like an hour. Amazingly we feel this prophecy today where the day goes by like a few minutes and before we realize, the week is over and then the month and the year too. This is why we must ensure that we make the most of every valuable second at hand. When we are not focused and have no proper goals in life, we waste our days and weeks, months and years in achieving nothing meaningful. Let us set clear goals, focus on them, work hard towards achieving them and not give up. Bear in mind that although we may have many goals, our ultimate goal should be to please our Maker.
  19. Shame upon those men who oppress their wives. Giving preference to your friends over your wife is oppression. Screaming and yelling at your wife is oppression. Coming home late each night or coming to bed late each night without a valid excuse is oppression. Wasting time on the internet or phone, television or games whilst your wife is waiting for you is oppression. Not spending reasonable time with your wife is oppression. Not commending her upon her goodness, sacrifice and achievements whilst only harping on her weaknesses is oppression. Be fair! Not correcting her in the most loving manner and going around publicizing her errors or wrongdoings is oppression. Not providing at least the basic food, clothing and shelter for her is oppression. Not appreciating that she is someone's daughter or sister and treating her like a slave is oppression. Allowing your mother or family members to disrespect or maltreat your wife is oppression. Allowing others to invade her privacy is oppression. Not giving her the rest that she deserves post child birth is oppression. Swearing and cursing your wife is oppression. Making false promises to your wife is oppression. These are just some ways that men oppress their wives. Shame upon those men who oppress their wives! Are you one of them? Well, change your ways, apologize and repent before the Almighty overtakes you with His Wrath. Remember the Messenger pbuh says, "The best of you are those best to their wives."
  20. None of us are exempt from going through divorce or experiencing it in the lives of the best of our children or family members. Hence it is very important that we watch very carefully what we say about those who are divorced and how we treat them, speak to them or look at them. In many instances, two individually brilliant people divorce, not because one is bad but because together, they were unable to survive. This is proven by the fact that in many cases both are then very happily married to others. Remember, if your mouth or actions become hurtful to those divorced, there may come a time when you will be dumbfounded by repetition of the same if not worse in your own home! Never be from those who frown upon, look down upon, criticize or gossip about those divorced, making them feel unworthy. The Messenger pbuh chose to marry a divorced woman and repeated this type of choice. Had they been "bad" simply because they were divorced, he would have been the furthest away from them. Shame upon those parents who do not allow their children to consider a divorced spouse. They need to know that many people say that marriages to those previously divorced are more likely to be everlasting. May the Almighty guide us all and grant us ALL spouses who will be the coolness of our eyes. Aameen This status was inspired by the cry of a sister. In no way are we belittling those never married. We are simply raising a VERY VERY common and REAL problem in almost every society.
  21. Visiting the sick, assisting them in any way, inquiring about them and praying for them has many benefits, hence it is considered a great act of worship. It boosts the morale of the sick, making them feel much better, giving them a sense of belonging which contributes to their recovery. The psychological impact of a kind word, a prayer and a visit is so great that the sick begin to feel much better and the greatest of miracles can occur even after medicine has given up. It also makes us realize the gift of health that the Almighty has bestowed upon us and gives us the opportunity to be thankful. Taking care of the sick can result us being protected from such sickness as well as easy entry into paradise. The day WE fall ill, we will be surprised at the number of people who inquire about us, pray for us and visit us over and above those who take care of us. This is what makes us one big family. The genuine concern for one another is a vital component of a happy community. When was the last time you visited the sick, assisted them in any way, prayed for their cure or inquired about them? Make it a regular feature in your weekly routine. Mufti Menk.
  22. Solo Sex (Male and Female Masturbation) from Morality in Islam, Acaciaville; taken from www.ask-imam.com The following extracts from the writings of a dignified physician of the Unani medicine will give one some idea of the damage done through masturbation: "Most often, students, bachelors or widowers and hypocritical godly persons are its victims. It is such an evil practice that has ruined many families and many more are being ruined today. The lack of manly vigor and decline in the standard of young men's health is evidence enough for this horrible social evil, eating into the vitals of an otherwise healthy nation. If only our young men could foresee the consequences of this evil at their own hands bring on them! It can be said with some certainty that eighty percent of our young men are the victims of masturbation. This accursed practice affects equally the heart, the brain, the liver, the stomach, the kidneys along with the reproductive organs. This practice makes the muscles and the nerves of the reproductive organ sagging and lifeless. Accumulation of fluids in the veins makes it unfit for its normal function. There is extreme feebleness in the power of erection. The heat of the friction between the delicate muscles of the organ and the tough hide of the hand damages the former beyond repair." (Miftahi, Modesty and Chastity in Islam) Following the excitement which accompanies masturbation, comes the feeling of shame, anger, humiliation, and the sense of futility. This sense of guilt and humiliation deepens as the years go on, into a suppressed rage, because of the impossibility to escape. The one thing that it seems impossible to escape from, once the habit is formed, is masturbation. It goes on and on, on into old age, in spite of marriage. And it always carries this secret feeling of futility and humiliation. And this is, perhaps, the deepest and most dangerous cancer of our civilization. Instead of being a comparatively harmless vice, masturbation is certainly the most dangerous sexual vice that a society can be afflicted with, in the long run. MASTURBATION UNDER ISLAMIC LAW Islam strictly forbids the waste of seminal fluid through masturbation. The one who discharges his seminal fluid with his hand is damned. This evil practice removes the normal bright look of a man's face, and he looks melancholy and dejected. He loses his health and quite frequently his vitality and sexual stamina through this disgusting practice. The Qur'an declares: "The Believers are those who abstain from sex except with those joined to them in marriage bond, or those whom their right hand possess for (in their case) they are free from blame, but those who crave something beyond that are transgressors." Beyond the wife and slave woman all ways and means of sexual satisfaction are unlawful. They include adultery, sodomy, masturbation, etc. From this it can be deduced that masturbation falls under the context 'but those who crave...' and is therefore immoral and a sin in Islam. Views expressed by the Shafi'i jurists on this matter are clearly illustrated by Imam Nawawi whose opinion is typical of the Shafi'i jurists as a whole. He declared that masturbation was absolutely forbidden. It was only permitted when it was performed by the hand of a man's wife or concubine, for he has a right to the enjoyment of her hand as he has to the rest of her body. The author of Subul al Salam according to al-Juzairi, states: "Some of the Hanbali and Hanafi Jurists are of the opinion that masturbation may be permissible in the event that one fears (that is, not engaging in it) would lead to his committing adultery, fornication. But be cautious that such a view is weak and is not to be relied upon." According to the Maliki school of thought masturbation is deduced to be illegal from the following hadith narrated by 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (Radhiallaahu Anhu): "We were with the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: 'O assembly of youths; whoever among you possesses the physical and financial resources to marry, should do so, because it helps him guard his modesty; and whoever is unable to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.'" Therefore, the jurists of this school are of the opinion that if masturbation was permitted, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) would have acknowledged its permissibility because this is much simpler than fasting. Since the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not mention it, demonstrates that it is prohibited. From the evidence presented so far, it can be seen that Shari’ah not only classifies this type of unnatural waste of seminal fluid as illegal, but also advocates strict measures for its prevention.
  23. Taken from www.ask-imam.com Extracted from Morality in Islam, Acadiaville The aim of natural sexuality is procreation. Lawful and natural sexual relations between man and woman has been designed by Allah to preserve the human race here on earth. Homosexuality is negatory of the natural role and aim of sexual activity. The experts on homosexuality and other forms of sexual deviation advance a series of groundless assumptions in their discussion on the causes of such unnatural sexuality. They attribute it to hereditary taints, genetic causes, environmental influences, animal instincts in man, etc. In certain cases, e.g. 'transiet homosexuality' where men are separated from women such as prisons, same sex institutions, etc., they argue that the criminal's blame will be considered as diminished in view of his circumstances. Islam does not accept any type of justification for the unnatural sin of homosexuality regardless of any biological, psychological or environmental factors which may influence a man to indulge in this type of grossly unnatural immorality. This should not be interpreted to mean that Islam does not recognize the reality or validity of the existence of the various factors which influence man to commit homosexuality. However, the presence of any destructive influences which lead man towards this unnatural and bestial act of immorality does not constitute a valid excuse for indulgence in acts of deviation and inhumanity. Just as fornication, rape and other criminal acts of immorality cannot be condoned because of biological, psychological, environmental factors, etc, which may be the causes which occasion the crime, so too, can these factors not be cited in favour of diminished blame for the act of homosexuality. In spite of the existence of the factors (described as causes) of adultery, human culture does not permit man and woman to indulge in this crime notwithstanding the naturalness of heterosexuality. They are required to restrain themselves and behave within the bounds of chastity and morality. In like manner man is required to exercise restraint and overcome his emotional, biological demands, etc. and manage the disturbances within him. He, as a member of the highest species of Allah's creation, is under moral obligation to control the dictates of his lust - whether such lust directs him towards unnatural or natural avenues - and refrain from smearing his soul and intellect in such loathsome indulgence. Modern studies and the many consequent theories regarding the crime of homosexuality tend to convey a blurred conception of the biological disturbances as well as some environmental factors are even tendered as mitigating circumstances to reduce the stigma and the blame from the homosexual. This idea has made homosexuals daring and revengeful of their unnatural crimes. They have come to regard their misdirected lust as morally acceptable. They, as well as the 'experts' who have undertaken research in homosexuality, have deceived themselves into believing in the idea of diminished blame and moral acceptance, of this unnatural act. As long as man's intelligence is not inflicted with insanity, he is held responsible for his actions and he is Islamically under compulsion to restrain his perverted cravings so that he does not descend into a sub-human level of existence. Man's gratification of his sexual appetite with another man has a long history of its own. The Qur'an bears testimony to the fact that the people of the prophet Lut (Alayhis salaam), the nephew of Ibriham (Alayhis salaam), sent as a warning to the people of Sodom and Gomorrah, were those who initiated this heinous practice. Before them it was unknown. In this connection the Qur'an mentions: "We also sent Lut. He said to his people, 'Do you commit indecency such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you? For you practise your lusts on men in preference to women; you are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds.'" These Sodomites even indulged in their homosexual orgies publicly. Their wickedness had attained the level where the mere sight of a handsome young man made them so agitated that they pounced upon him as famished people would fall on food. Even honoured guests did not enjoy immunity or any privileged position. They did not hesitate in even resorting to violence in achieving their lustful object. The Qur'an has depicted the scene when the angels of punishment [came to] Lut (Alayhis salaam) as his guests in the guise of handsome young men. Hadrat Lut (Alayhis salaam) did not recognized them in the first instance. But he knew the shameless habit of his people. He was extremely distressed and he apprehended that his people would certainly demand unnatural and shameful sexual activity. His apprehension was correct. They could not sit silently at the news of such "boys" of excellent beauty. These sodomites recklessly rushed to the home of Lut (Alayhis salaam) to gratify their unnatural desires. Lut (Alayhis salaam) found himself in a difficult situation. He prompted them to legally satisfy their sexual appetite with women even offering his daughter in lawful marriage to the most gentle of them, and not insisting on this unnatural outlet. Then he very effectively appealed to them, in the name of the Almighty, that they should abstain from disgracing him by dishonouring his guests. The Qur'an states: "And his people came rushing towards him, and they had been long in the habit of practising abominations. He said: 'O my people! Here are my daughters: they ore purer for you (if you marry)! Now fear Allah, and cover me not with shame about my guests! Is there not among you a right-handed man?'" But the accursed people inflamed with evil passions turned a deaf ear to all his reasoning with them. They had lost all sense of morality and were blind in their voluptuous sentiments. On this occasion they even taunted him for his frequent protests in the past against their sins. Hadrat Lut (Alayhis salaam) seemed helpless in the situation in which he found himself, - alone against a rabble of people inflamed with lustful passions. He wished he had the strength to suppress them himself or had some powerful support to lean on! But the powerful support was there, though he had not realized it till then. It was the support of the Almighty. His guests were not ordinary men, but Angels who had come to test the people before they inflicted punishment. They now declared themselves and gave him directions to get away before the morning, when the punishment would descend on the doomed cities. Even in Lut's (Alayhis salaam) household was one, i.e. his wife, who detracted from the harmony of the family. She lagged behind and looked back, i.e. one whose mental and moral attitude, in spite of association with the righteous was to hark back to the glitter of wickedness and sin. Finally, the wrath of the Almighty descended upon them, their cities were turned upside down and showers of stone rained on them. Regarding this the Qur'an mentions: "Then when Our decree came to pass. We turned the cities upside down, and We rained thereon stones of baked clay, piled up." The punishment of turning upside down given to this people resembles outwardly their shameless deed of homosexuality. The shower of stone was very thick so as to form layers. It is also said that the name of each man was written or engraved on those stones which were the cause of their annihilation. The inversion of cities by way of punishment was the task which was assigned to Jibra'il (Alayhis salaam). Homosexuality is also a form of sexual inversion, hence the type of punishment was most befitting in that it also symbolized their unnatural acts of immorality. Showers of stones (not hail-stones, but real stones) are not a normal occurrence. So too, the punishment of the inversion of the cities (was quite rightly justified). Thus, unnatural forms of punishment were prescribed by Allah for the unnatural sins of the homosexual community. The community of Lut (Alayhis salaam) was a prosperous nation materially and they inhabited five cities: Sodom, Gamurah, Udmah, Laboobem and Sughar. The Qur'an refers collectively to these five cities with the term Mu'tafikaat (the inverted cities). The cities are so designated because of the perverted crimes of sexual inversion of their inhabitants and because they were physically inverted and eliminated by the command of Allah. Before the people of Sodom, never did this evil even enter the mind of mankind, let alone practicing it. The Umayyad Khalifah "Abdul Malik said that if this episode of the homosexuals was not mentioned in the Qur'an, he would not have conceded the reality of this crime since it was unthinkable that man will descend to such a degenerate level and debase himself in a type of act which is not indulged in by even the overwhelming majority of lowly beasts." Nevertheless, even after the community to which prophet Lut (Alayhis salaam) was sent as cautioner, met their catastrophic end, sodomy continued and even sometimes flourished. It is now known that homosexuality existed before the pre-Christian era among the so-called 'civilised' nations of the world especially the Greeks and Romans. It was not only confined to common masses, but even legendary and prominent figures such as Socrates, Aristotle, Julius Caesar and many others practiced it. (Miftahi) In thirteenth century France, homosexuality was the great craze of the day and the government of the country had to enact a law that those found guilty of this unnatural crime will be put to death. And Germany was not far behind in the pursuit of this craze. Before Nazi Germany there was a famous person, Dr. Magnus Herschefield, (who had been the president of the Society for the Reformation of Sexual Behaviour), who launched powerful propaganda in favour of sodomy for six years. Finally 'democracy' acceded to this demand and the strictly forbidden became approved. It was decided by majority vote that homosexuality among the males was no longer an offence provided it was indulged in with mutual consent of the parties involved and in case of the object of the unnatural love being a minor, his guardian had to give his consent. In the Orient, Iran has been notorious and Persian poetry amply supports it. Karachi has also been named in this regard. It is said there were three centres there, where eunuchs carried on that unnatural business. Afghanistan (then under Communist influence) has also been mentioned. India, too, is not so clean in her records in this field, although the common people are involved in it to a limited extent. It is the educated and the sophisticated people who take to it as a diversion. The educational institutions, schools, colleges and centres of oriental studies too are not free from this curse. Islam strictly forbade this detestable deed and prescribed the severed punishment, relenting not in the least in making it a deterrent. The Qur'an cautions that once people take to homosexuality, they sink to the depths of moral degradation. The admonitory punishment meted out to these transgressors was described in such a moving way that those reciting the Qur'an may learn the harsh consequences of this evil, and may protect themselves from this outrageous crime. To deter the Muslims from evil, the Qur'an initially declared to those participating in this perversion: "If two men among you are guilty of indecency, punish them both." Once Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) expressed his anticipated fear by stating that among the evils that his ummah can take to, he feared sodomy most. In fact, this was a forewarning measure that the ummah may guard against, realizing that the prophet himself had forbidden it. On one occasion Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) declared: "Whoever gratifies his sexual urge with another (individual) of his own sex, Almighty will not so much as look at him." Undoubtedly, sodomy is one of the most repulsive acts, even observed among beasts. Therefore, the sight of a homosexual will be so disgusting to Allah that it will intensify His anger to heights where He will not even consider glancing at a sodomist. Through this act, man degrades his humanity and announces extermination as his policy. Moreover, it implies wretchedness and misery of the womenfolk and he himself is prone to so many diseases: the basic organs of his body, brain, heart, liver and kidneys become deficiently immune (AIDS), his face lacks the sparkle of health and he looks off-colour and melancholy, with the result that such an incapacitated criminal becomes worthless to women. This wretched outcast deprives himself of the bounty of procreation and the priceless jewel of morality.
  24. It starts from you Once there was a king who told some of his workers to dig a pond. Once the pond was dug, the king made an announcement to his people saying that one person from each household has to bring a glass of milk during the night and pour it into the pond. So, the pond should be full of milk by the morning. After receiving the order, everyone went home. One man prepared to take the milk during the night. He thought that since everyone will bring milk, he could just hide a glass of water and pour inside the pond. Because it will be dark at night, no one will notice. So he quickly went and poured the water in the pond and came back. In the morning, the king came to visit the pond and to his surprise the pond was only filled with water! What has happened is that everyone was thinking like the other man that “I don’t have to put the milk, someone else will do it.” Dear friends, when it comes to helping the Religion of Allah, do not think that others will take care of it. Rather, it starts from you, if you don’t do it, no one else will do it. So, change yourself to the way of Allah to serve Him and that will make the difference.
  25. Do Muslim Husbands Make the Grade? taken from www.ask-imam.com When we seek out knowledge about marriage we see that the Qur'an and Sunnah have assigned tremendous importance to the marriage contract and have distinguished it above all other contracts. Indeed the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, "When a man marries, he has completed half of his religion and he needs only to fear Allah to complete the other half." (Mishkat) In the Qur'an, Allah says, "And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?" [4:81] Purpose of Marriage Therefore, marriage must be entered into whole-heartedly and taken very seriously by each of the two partners, and both of them must be committed to making their marriage a success. A marriage is truly successful and prosperous only when it is mutually rewarding. Allah suggests that both partners come together to cover, protect and beautify each other in the same way that a garment covers, protects and beautifies the one who wears it. [2:187] Through this metaphor, we understand that when two people get married, they cease to consider themselves individuals but instead as a couple - each person benefiting by the other equally. In order to flourish, there can be no hint of selfishness or refusal to compromise between them. There must be an agreement between the two partners that each of them will work together to solve whatever problems arise. They will assist one another and sacrifice in order to gain mutual happiness, pleasure and peace. This is the purpose and goal of marriage according to the Shari'ah. As the Lord of the Heavens and Earth has said, "He it is Who has created you from a single person and [then] He has created from him his wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." [7:189] Allah has designated specific roles for both partners. Only when these rights are observed and these obligations fulfilled, can tranquility descend upon the couple and security surround them in their certain success. If either of the two partners, out of ignorance or intention, refuses to fulfill his or her duties and thereby does not honor the rights of the other, the household becomes a living Hell. Unfortunately, this is a common situation today. Let us focus now on the responsibilities and desirable characteristics of a Muslim husband. Many brothers have never asked themselves: "What are the rights of a wife upon her husband?", "What is my responsibility toward her?", "What do I owe her?" Never asking these questions, or answering them with ignorance, causes many problems in Muslim households. What are the characteristics every man should possess in order to be a good husband to his wife? The example of the Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, is the ideal model. Let us look specifically at these characteristics and how we may achieve them in our lives. Starting Point First of all let us understand that Islam is a complete way of life which offers guidance for mankind in all matters. Allah is the All-Knowing the All-Wise and He has taken account of everything which concerns us. He has included the solution to all of our problems in His Shari'ah. Nothing has been overlooked. The characteristics of a Muslim husband and the way to acquire them have been made clearer and easier to accomplish through the example of Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam. Allah says, "Indeed you have in the messenger of Allah a most excellent example of conduct for him who looks forward to the meeting with Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much." [33:21] Unfortunately many brothers interpret this in a limited way - they focus on what we know of the dress and physical attributes of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, and his Sahaba. There is no question that the best example of a husband and father is the Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam. Why is it, then, that so many of us are so far from his example in this area? Could it be that other examples around us influence our behavior more? Do we believe that our financial contribution should represent our dedication to our families? Or have we deliberately ignored the model Allah has provided us. Allah has taught us that if we want to achieve Allah's pleasure in all spheres of life, the best example for us is His Messenger, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam. Indeed, the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, himself has informed us that the excellence of his example encompasses and includes everything, especially his behavior toward his wives. He, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "The best of you are those who are best toward their wives and I am the best of you toward my wives." (Tirmithi) ty & Fear of Allah This subject is not new. When Ata' and Ubaydullah ibn Umayr once asked Aisha about the nature of Prophet Muhammad's behavior with her: "Aisha started to weep and said, 'One night he stood up [intending to offer the night prayer] and said, 'O Aisha, let me be alone so that I may worship my Lord.' He stood up, purified himself and continued to pray and weep until the ground became wet. Bilal came and made the adhan. When he saw the Prophet crying, he said, 'O Messenger of Allah [why do] you cry, when Allah has forgiven your past and future sins?' Prophet Mohammed replied, '[Then, for that] should I not be a thankful slave?'" (Ibn Hibban) This is one example that demonstrates the intensity of our Prophet's devotion to his Lord - his extreme piety and tremendous fear of Allah. Any man, who wishes to emulate him, should start by emulating his taqwa (piety). For it is taqwa of the heart which serves as a foundation for good deeds, manners and morals and makes the observance of the rights of others easy. If a man really and truly wants to be a good husband to his wife, he must also possess fear of Allah. If a man has the fear of Allah, and it is this fear that most influences his relationship and his dealings with his wife, he fears what Allah may do to him if he harms her or treats her in a way that is unjust and therefore will never mistreat her in any way - physically or verbally. He knows that he has to meet Allah and answer for all that he has said and done. Indeed this is why Hasan ibn Ali said when asked, "'O Hasan I have a daughter. To whom do you think I should marry her?' Hasan said, 'Marry her to [a man] who [fears Allah]; for if he [truly fears Allah] and if he loves her he will honor her and [even] if he doesn't love her, he will never oppress or abuse her [because he fears Allah].'" Education Among the most important rights a woman has is her right to be educated about her religion. This responsibility is incumbent upon her husband. Therefore, one of the most desirable characteristics of a Muslim husband is that he himself is knowledgeable about Islam and teaches his wife whatever he knows. Why would any Muslim husband want to deny his wife this right? Is it not his wife who will guide his children as they grow? Isn't she the one who teaches them about haram and halal? Isn't she the one to see that they learn to pray and fast? Isn't she the one who must protect her husband's place and belongings in his absence according to Islamic guidelines? If her knowledge about the deen is limited, the entire family will suffer. Many men seek to shelter their wives from outside influences by forbidding them to participate in outside activities. Many men may fear that if their wife's Imaan becomes stronger, she will object to his behavior or certain weaknesses in his character. These are reasons that should compel us to participate in her Islamic education, so as she learns, so will we. Couples can discuss topics that concern them and agree on how they will integrate new information into their family's routine. With this type of cooperation, there is less room for misunderstandings, and less opportunity for one Muslim to feel superior to another within the household. This practice will draw the family members closer to each other and, more importantly, closer to Allah. "O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are [appointed] angels stern and severe, who do not hesitate to fulfill the commandments of Allah [to inflict punishment upon the people of Hell] but [rather] they do [precisely] what they have been commanded [to do]!" [66:6] We can see that taking an active role in our family's Islamic education protects our families from the fire of Hell. We must strive to set the best example possible for our children, wives and brothers in Islam. It is only by taking personal responsibility, that we can improve the current state of the Ummah. We are creating Muslim communities where our children and grandchildren and brothers and sisters in Islam will find themselves flourishing or deteriorating in. We must ensure that they have the means to flourish by improving our own knowledge of Islam and constantly sharing it with our families. We need not look far to see members of our Ummah who have failed to keep Islam as the central focus in their homes. Let us move forward by each of us looking at ourselves and asking Allah to help us to achieve this goal. If we fail to reach this goal, the consequences in the Hereafter are even more grave, especially for the husband. As the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, said, "Each one of you is a shepherd and every shepherd will be asked about his flock... and the man will be asked about his family." (Bukhari and Muslim) When the Day of Judgment comes, will our reasons for not educating our families be sufficient for Allah? Will we be able to offer any excuse after Allah and His Messenger have made it clear that educating our wives is a duty enjoined upon him that he will be asked about? Brothers, do your wives read the Qur'an, Hadeeth and Seerah of Prophet Mohammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam? Do they understand their meanings? Do they practice what they have learned? It is our obligation to make certain that our wives have the opportunity and means to continuously increase their knowledge. To do so will not only please Allah but will improve the relations of everyone in our homes, our Ummah, and inshaAllah the societies in which we live. Presentation is Key Another responsibility of the Muslim husband is to assist his wife in obeying the commands of Allah. If she should transgress the limits of Allah, then it becomes his duty to advise her, admonish her and actually physically prevent her from doing so. However, it is the right of the wife that this admonishment be coupled with kindness and mercy. As Allah says, "And [it was] by the Mercy of Allah, [that] you dealt gently with them. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so overlook their faults, ask that [Allah's] forgiveness be granted to them and consult with them in [the] affairs of the moment." [3:159] Therefore, if a husband is over-bearing and insisting, his wife's behavior will most likely not be corrected. She may even persist in her disobedience, returning his cruelty. Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, advised us to "treat women kindly. [The] woman has been created from a rib [which is curved]. The most crooked part of the rib is the uppermost part. If you were to try [to force] it straight you will [certainly] break it and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So [admonish] women kindly." (Bukhari and Muslim) So when a husband offers advise, or reminds or admonishes his wife, he must take this hadeeth into consideration and exercise his authority in a gentle manner in order to bring about the desired result. A wife is an Advisor The nature of marriage is one of a continuous growing relationship. Every person has likes and dislikes and wants to feel his or her opinion matters. Also, because a husband and wife spend many hours, days and years together, InshaAllah, they get to know each other's strengths and weaknesses very well. It is for this reason that a wife can be the best advisor for her husband. Also, sometimes we are so involved in other aspects of a situation that we find it hard to find a suitable solution. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, used to discuss certain matters with his wives and ask for their advice. An example of this happened shortly after the treaty of Hudaybeyah was signed. Many of the Prophet's companions were displeased with the treaty and the great number of compromises it contained. So, when the Prophet ordered the companions to shave their heads, slaughter their animals and prepare to return to Madinah, instead of complying as they had always done in the past, the companions remained in their places. This greatly disturbed the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, for his companions had never disobeyed him in this manner before. He, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, went to Umm Salamah and asked her for advice. She told him, "You are the Messenger of Allah. Shave your head and slaughter your animal and the people will do as you have done." So the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, had his head shaved and slaughtered his animal and the people followed him. Because a wife usually knows her husband better than anyone else, it is naturally her place to offer him constructive criticism and it is her husband's duty to consider it. Many men would not like to hear criticism from their wives, but, many times she is the best one to offer an accurate assessment of his character and behavior. We should realize that none of us is perfect, and that Allah allowed us this safe relationship where we can offer help to one another and use every opportunity available to improve ourselves and the image we present as a model for our families, friends and others. As Umar ibnul Khattab once said, "May Allah have Mercy upon the one who points out my shortcomings." Graceful Helper Isn't that women's work? That is the opinion that many of us have. It is true that most of the time, women care for the house and children. But, this does not mean that it should be their responsibility alone. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, never enjoyed coming home to relax in leisure after a hard day at work. His work did not end with his coming home; instead, a new order of engagements and activities commenced. Aisha was once asked, "How was the Prophet's conduct in his home?" She said, "He was like one of you at home, yet he was most lenient and most generous. His spirits were high at all times, [he] smiled and even joined [us] in laughter at times. He was ready to give a helping hand to his wives in the ordinary work of the house, [he] sew[ed] his own clothes [and] mend[ed] his own shoes. In general, he helped in whatever work his wives did. However, when the call to prayer was pronounced, he dropped everything and hurried to the masjid." (Tabaqat of Ibn Sad) So the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, showed us that we should deal with our wives with consideration for their sensitive and delicate nature in all things. The same kind and gentle manner prescribed for correcting her should also exist with what we view as her work. We know about the Prophet's opinion that his work did not end at the doorway to his home. He took the initiative to do whatever needed to be done. This idea is very important today. Many of us do not realize the amount of effort that goes into keeping the house clean, the children cared for and the meals prepared. Brothers just try to imagine what your lives would be like if for some reason you had to do all of this by yourself, in addition to a job outside the home. It would seem impossible. It helps to show your wife that you appreciate her efforts. You may tell her that you appreciate her, but do you show her? When was the last time you did the laundry, ran the vacuum, changed a diaper, provided a home-cooked meal for your family, or gave your wife a day off (while you completed her chores for that day)? This may seem strange to you, but I guarantee that if you did this at least once a month, your relationship with your wife will become even better. Showing the initiative to help your wife, and lessen her burden will mean so much more to her than the effort you put forth. Although active participation in the housework and the care of the children was never a problem for the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, it seems to be inconceivable to many modern men. They feel that housework is beneath them and that if they were to stoop to that level, their peers would see them as weak - perhaps controlled by their wives. The reality is that Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, was the ruler of Madinah, Commanding General of the Muslim military, the Imam of the Muslims, their Grand Mufti and Allah's Khaleel and His Chosen Messenger as well as the head of a number of households. Yet all of this status and rank did not detract from his humility or cause him to think that household chores were beneath him. Ask yourself which of the men in your Muslim community have been happily married for twenty or more years? We cannot assume that merely being twenty years together means they are both happy. Find a man who you know to be happy and family-oriented and who speaks highly of his wife. Go and ask him what his wife appreciates most about him. Here you will find your answer. More than likely, this man cares more about the happiness of his family than the opinions of the men around him. Healthy Body, Healthy Mind Doesn't it feel good when you play your favorite sport? You get to run and use your body and make yourself tired. Isn't this better than feeling tired from worrying or working too hard? Allah has directed us to take care of our bodies, not only men but women also. Aisha reported, "I raced with the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, and beat him in the race. Later, after I had put on some weight, we raced again. This time he was the winner. At that time he said to me, "This one cancels that one." (Abu Dawud) On another occasion Aisha said, "By Allah, I saw the Messenger of Allah standing at the door of my house, while the Abyssinians were displaying their skill with spears in the courtyard of the Prophet's masjid. He concealed me with his cloth so that I could see their play and he stood there for me until I [became tired and] left. So, be understanding of the young woman who is eager for entertainment." (Muslim) Here we can see that it was not the intention of Allah to keep a woman in her house, hidden from any temptation to participate in physical exercise. In fact, it is one of the duties and responsibilities of the Muslim husband to spend quality time with his wife and to allow her to engage in permissible forms of recreation. It is really not right for a husband to go out to play a game while his wife remains tucked away in the house with no one to talk to except a three-year-old. Many brothers feel that the Islamic regulations concerning hijab forbid a woman to leave the house for recreation, but the above evidences seem to refute this position. In fact, when a woman wears hijab, she is recognized as a Muslim woman and thus protected from being molested. And, the society is protected from the fitnah that would occur if she were not properly clothed. Husbands have to realize that women need exercise, just as much, if not more than they do. Men are often complaining about their wives' weight, but as soon as a wife asks their husband to take her out for a walk so that she might lose some weight he says, "No, your place is in the home!" A Muslim husband must take his wife out on a regular basis for recreation. Some permissible types are as follows: Horseback riding, a trip to a country farm or park, a zoo, a museum, picnic (in a secluded place), a scenic drive, fishing, or boating. These are just a few of the many things that the Shari'ah has either encouraged or permitted. In all circumstances the woman should wear the proper hijab and seclusion should be sought. Even if others are around the woman, she may still enjoy herself within limits. May Allah guide the Muslim husbands and allow them to see the importance of this matter. On Loan from Allah We know that everything we possess is on loan from Allah. He enables us to earn money through our work in this world. We do our best to use that money to provide for our families in the best way possible. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, said, "When a person spends upon his family, hoping for reward from Allah, then that spending is counted (in his record of good deeds) as a charity." (Bukhari and Muslim) Allah says, "Let the man of means spend according to his means, [as for] the man whose resources are limited, let him spend according to what Allah has given him." [65:7] Truth or Consequence Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) says, "O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not do." [61:2-3]. There must be total agreement between our words and deeds. One should carry into effect whatever he says, and when he has no intention of doing it, or lacks the means necessary to fulfill a promise, he should not say it. We can see that Prophet Muhammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, was not typical for the men around him in many ways. We also know that his way was the best in the Sight of Allah. Allah wanted his life to be the example we have to follow. We see others around us behaving in one way and we have the Sunnah as a contrasting example. We see families in turmoil, divorce becoming more common, children disinterested in Islam and our elders crying. We must all become active participants in the ummah. It is our responsibility to influence the world around us, not to succumb to its influence on us. We must strive everyday to emulate the perfect example Allah has given us. We must work harder to participate in our families' Islamic education, we must show our wives that we appreciate their efforts by helping them, and we must also encourage them to seek more knowledge about Islam in order to enrich our children with such an environment. We need to check our behavior when dealing with our wives. Are we really treating them in a kind and gentle manner? Do we always do what we say? When the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "When a man marries he has completed half of his religion and he needs only fear Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, to complete the other half." (Mishkat), he was reminding us that marriage is not separate from, but part of the deen. Therefore, all aspects of our marital relationship should follow the way of Islam.
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