By Bint e Aisha
Following on Twitter
Last Updated on Thursday, 02 November 2017 11:34
I am a girl and I follow various males on twitter and there are lots that follow me. I don't speak to any of them but some post inspirational stuff while others just post something funny or interesting from time to time. Sometimes I retweet things from these various males.
My husband does not agree with this at all and always tells me he doesn't like me following men or them following me even though I don't speak to them.
My questions are:
1. Is it haraam for me to follow males and allow them to follow me?
2. If my husband is unhappy about it, is it okay for me to still do so?
3. Is my husband right for not wanting me to do that?
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh
Respected Sister in Islam
Firstly, as an introduction, understand clearly that hayaa is one of the most essential qualities of a Mu-min. It is also naturally to a much higher degree in a woman. The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) were the true embodiments of hayaa.
Once Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) asked the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum): “What is the best quality of a woman?” The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) remained silent and did not give any answer. Later ‘Ali (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) came home and posed the same question that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) had asked them to his wife, Sayyidah Faatimah (radhiyallahu ‘anha). She spontaneously replied: “Why did you not reply (that the best quality of a woman is) that she does not see any (non-mahram) man and no (non-mahram) male gets to see her”(non-mahram refers to one with whom marriage is not forbidden. This includes cousins, brothers-in-law, etc.). ‘Ali (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) relayed her reply to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), upon which he replied in great joy: “Faatimah is a part of me (hence she gave such a wonderful and perfect reply)” (Bazzaar #526 – Majma‘uz Zawaaid #7395 and Hilyatul Awliyaa #1445)
Sayyidah Faatimah (radhiyallahu ‘anha)’s reply emanated from her natural hayaa which Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) aptly engendered. These are the footsteps in which we should follow.
While social media platforms have their own terminologies which do not convey the literal meaning of the word, nevertheless for a female to still say that she has many (non-mahram) male followers is not in keeping with the dictates of hayaa. Males “following” a non-mahram female will throw open the doors of fitnah. On a general note the same applies to females following non-mahram males on social media.
Further, it is extremely important that the wife be obedient to the husband in anything that does not contravene sharee‘ah. Thus even if something may be permissible, but the husband, for whatever reason, is not happy that his wife be involved, participate, etc. in that aspect, then the wife should obey the husband. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) is reported to have said that had sajdah been permissible for anyone besides Allah Ta‘ala he would have ordered the wives to make sajdah to their husbands. (Sunan Tirmizi #1159) Therefore, bear this in mind in all aspects and insha-Allah there would be great barakah in your marriage.
(Obviously husbands are also advised not to be unreasonable and to allow their wives some leeway in things which are permissible when there is no apparent harm that could come from any particular aspect that his wife intends doing. However the wife’s duty is to obey the husband in all aspects that conform to sharee‘ah.)
May Allah Ta‘ala grant us all the correct understanding of Deen and enable us to practice that which will please Him.
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama
By Bint e Aisha
Searching for one's own faults-cure for self-admiration:
Ibn Hazm (rahimahullah) said: “Whoever is tested with self-admiration, let him think of his faults; if he admires his virtues, let him think of his bad manners and attitude. If he cannot find any, to the point that he thinks that he has no faults, then he should realise that his problem is chronic and that he is the most imperfect of men, and he has the most faults and least discernment. That is because he is feeble-minded and ignorant; and there is no fault worse than these two, because the wise man is the one who can see faults in himself and tries to overcome them, whereas the foolish man is the one who is ignorant of his own faults.” [al-Akhlaaq was-Siyar (p. 71)]
GAME OVER Playing is a natural activity for a child and is even important for the correct, healthy development of a child. For a child, playing is not merely a pastime. Rather, it is a developmental and educational process through which the child learns many basic principles such as cause and effect, effort and reward, etc. It is due to the process of playing being such an effective medium of education that teachers seek to capitalize on playing and use it to engage the students in games through which they will be educated in a subtle yet definite and enjoyable manner. However, since the world has taken the route of technology, the nature of ‘the game’ has changed. Now, games are seldom played on fields and in backyards. Rather, the computer, tablet and phone screen has become the new field of play, and once the game begins, players become glued to the screen. For many parents, ‘parking’ the child before the PC or placing an iPad in their hands is a daily solution to occupying the child, leaving the parent free to attend to their own responsibilities or even relax. This has led to children becoming increasingly addicted to these games. As a result, if a child is invited to play soccer in the backyard, it is not farfetched to imagine him replying, “Why should I kick a ball when I already have an app for that!” The result? The virtual world is now preferred to living life in the real world. The dangers that accompany these games are numerous. Games that contain music, pictures of animate objects, indecent content and other similar elements of Haraam are impermissible, and playing these games cause devastating damage to the Imaan of the player. However, even if the game is void of these Haraam elements, these games transmit many subtle messages to these young, impressionable players. Children who grow up playing car racing games generally grow up mimicking the same behaviour by living life “in the fast lane”. Similarly, when games are played that depict and encourage violence, such as fighting, shooting and war games, then the child develops violent tendencies as his natural, inborn aversion to violence is desensitized. In many cases, children who pulled a gun on their classmates and went onto a shooting rampage, murdering innocent people, were found to be avid players of these games. The fundamental difference between these games and the real world is that there are no real consequences in the gaming world. Rather, when one encounters difficulty, one can easily escape by pressing the convenient ‘reset’ button. In real life, there is no reset. When reckless driving leads to an accident and the loss of lives, there is no reset. When a gun is pulled and lives are lost, there is no reset. In real life, there is only one result – the child’s life is ruined and it’s GAME OVER. Furthermore, the playing of the past almost always benefited the child in one way or another. If the child was running in a field, his body benefited. If the child was playing in the kitchen, they were perhaps learning a basic skill such as peeling potatoes, rolling dough, etc. If the child played in the garden, they learnt how to wield a spade, etc. Hence, even though the child was playing, the child was developing a practical skill with which they would be able to benefit themselves and others. On the contrary, most children glued to their screens suffer obesity, anti-social behaviour and a range of other physical and psychological problems. If we truly love our children, let us wake up to the damage that these devices are wreaking on our innocent children. At the very least, let us limit their screen time. Switch off the game before it’s GAME OVER. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN)
Council of Muslim Theologians