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A father's advice to his daughter after marriage

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A father's advice to his daughter after marriage


From the translation of a biography of Amir-ul-Hind Maulana sayyid As'ad Madani

Source: Qafila


The following is advice Maulana As'ad rendered to his daughter in a letter after her marriage. Indeed the advices in this letter are so valuable that it would be most appropriate if it could be framed and given to every newly-married girl to hang in her house and reflect on daily. The daughter writes;



After getting married, my father sent me the following letter:



بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيم 
(In the name of Allah, most beneficent most merciful) 


My beloved daughter! May Allah keep you happy in this world as well as in the next. 


O my daughter! This world will only last for a few days. Thus, it would indeed be most foolish if one were to destroy his ever-lasting abode in its pursuit.From now on you are responsible for your own life. 


We have become old, and one's parents can not remain with one forever. Thus, before doing anything, ponder over its benefits and harms. Those who love you understand well the advantages and disadvantages of what you wish to do and Allah is the one who loves you the most and understands you the best. (Thus, always follow his commands). 


Your family inheritance was never a criteria nor kinship, rather it is piety and connection with Allah. Thus if you suffer a setback in dunya (wealth etc) you have not lost a great deal. 


You are now going to a new family. Every action and word of yours will be scrutinized. 


Regarding clothing, shun fashion and blind imitating, rather let modesty and piety guide you in choosing your clothing. 


Avoid mingling with others excessively. Talking less and mixing less has always saved one from difficulties. 


Associate only with those whom your seniors are pleased with. 


Always present yourself in front of others with a smiling face, good character and humility. 


Regard yourself as the most inferior, no matter how evil others appear to be. If you take your in-laws as your seniors and regard them to be your well wishers, you shall never be disgraced. 


Before marriage, After Allah and RasulAllah, the rank of your mother and father was the highest. However, now after marriage, the rank of the husband takes third place (i.e above your parents as well). Never act against his wishes. 


If you do your own work whilst serving others, all shall respect you. And if you prefer luxury, rest and taking work from others, you will drop in the eyes of all. Take care of the items in your house as well. 


Do not allow anything to get lost. Keep everything clean, and in its place. 


After using anything stored in bottles, ensure that their lids are closed properly. Place them in the same spot you took them from. 


Have set places for all items, clothing etc, so that you may find it whenever you need it. 


Instill within yourself the habit of performing salah at its fixed times, with proper devotion and concentration. 


Ungratefulness and backbiting are the worst habits of women. Avoid the completely. 


Maulana As'ad


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