Husband's Protective Nature

[ummtaalib]

Nasihah (Advice): Travelling with a Mahram

 

Sayyiduna Abdullah Ibn Abbas Radiyallahu anhuma reported: Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, “A man should not be alone with a woman, nor should a woman travel, unless a guardian is with her.” A man stood up and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have been assigned to an expedition and my wife has left for the Hajj pilgrimage Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, “Go and perform the pilgrimage with your wife.” (Sahih Bukhari)

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Question and Answer:

 

Q. My husband takes me wherever I need to go. And if he cannot take me, I can go with either my father, father-in-law, brother, or maternal uncles.

I do not go for coffee with the girls, but he takes me to their home, or they come to mine, and we spend time together.

 

I have been getting comments that he is abusing me and that I should be allowed to drive alone as long as it is not Safr distance.

 

What is the Islamic ruling with regard to this? Is it not right that even within 78 Kilometres I be accompanied by a mahram due to the safety in our country?

 

I am not being restricted with my family or friends, and not even work (he takes me and stays with me while I work (in a female-only environment))

 

(Question published as received)

 

A. Based on the information you have provided, it is very evident that your husband is protective of you out of deep love, care, and a sense of responsibility, as Islam teaches a husband to be. It is not abuse nor control when a husband lovingly ensures the safety and well-being of his wife. In fact, it is part of his duty and right to do so, and he will be rewarded for it by Allah Ta'ala, Insha’Allah.

 

Your husband accompanies you, takes you where you need to go, ensures your comfort, and keeps you close to your family and friends. This is a clear sign of respect, protection, and affection, not oppression.

 

You have also mentioned that when he cannot accompany you, you go with your Mahaarim (father, father-in-law, brother, uncles) - which is fully in line with Islamic guidelines.

 

Regarding Driving and Traveling Alone

 

Yes, according to majority of scholars, a woman may drive and travel within the distance of less than 78 kilometres (the Shar’ee Safar distance) without a Mahram, if there is safety, modesty, and no danger involved. However, if your husband prefers to take you himself out of concern for your safety and dignity, this is commendable and rooted in care - not restriction.

 

The reality in many places today is that even short distances may carry risks, and a husband who takes these precautions is fulfilling his role. Islam prioritizes safety, honour, and dignity for both men and women.

 

About People's Comments

 

Sister, understand this clearly: the comments of others should not dictate how you see your marriage. When someone looks from the outside, they are not aware of the love, compassion, and mutual understanding between a husband and wife.

 

If your husband is not preventing you from your obligations, not isolating you from your family, and not acting out of arrogance or oppression - then he is not abusive, he is simply being responsible and caring, as Islam encourages.

 

He is fulfilling his Shar’ee rights and duties, and it is wrong for others to assume or label him based on cultural expectations or Western ideals that may not align with Islam.

 

Furthermore, know very well that he is practicing upon Taqwa, which is a great blessing. A man of Taqwa acts out of fear of Allah, not out of ego or control.

 

Final Advice

 

Do not allow the negative remarks of others to influence your peace and perception. Many people, knowingly or unknowingly, sow doubts in marriages and push worldly ideologies that contradict the balance Islam teaches.

 

May Allah Ta’ala increase the love, understanding, and mercy between you and your husband, and protect your marriage from the whispers of shaytan and ill-informed people. Ameen.

 

And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

 

Mufti Muhammed Hamza Farooqui

Mufti Taahir Hansa

 

(The answer hereby given is specifically based on the question asked and should be read together with the question asked. Islamic rulings on this Q&A newsletter are answered in accordance to the Hanafi Fiqh unless otherwise stated.) 

 

 

Fatwa Department
Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) 
Council of Muslim Theologians