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Taking care of a mentally disabled child

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Q: I am a single mother of my only son who is 29 years of age and is mentally disabled. The reason I am writing this question to you is because he gets a monthly disable grant and I wanted to know if I can use a portion of that money for my personal needs or do I have to ask him or either tell him? And the other is that I wanted to know if I wanted to buy his groceries for the month do I have to ask him or tell him because he is unable to do his shopping by himself?

Mufti Saheb I also request that you advise me accordingly on what is the Shari'ah ruling and the best way to handle this situation and also to make special dua for my son and for myself.


A: If you are in need and you take just to the extent of your need then it is permissible.

If he is unable and he does not understand things in perspective then you do not have to take his permission.

A disabled child generally is a blessing. Outwardly it may seem to be cumbersome, but really it opens many doors of blessings and barkat and it guards you from a lot of evil and wrong. Hence, consider it as a blessing from Allah Ta`ala. I also make du`aa that Allah Ta`ala allows you to manage your responsibility with ease and comfort.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

ويباح لوالديه أن يأكلا من مأكول وهب له وقيل لا انتهى فأفاد أن غير المأكول لا يباح لهما إلا لحاجة  (الدر المختار 5/ 696)

قال الشامي :(قوله: وهب له) قال في التتارخانية روي عن محمد نص أنه يباح. وفي الذخيرة: وأكثر مشايخ بخارى على أنه لا يباح. وفي فتاوى سمرقند: إذا أهدي الفواكه للصغير يحل للأبوين الأكل منها إذا أريد بذلك الأبوان لكن الإهداء للصغير استصغارا للهدية اهـ. قلت: وبه يحصل التوفيق، ويظهر ذلك بالقرائن، وعليه فلا فرق بين المأكول وغيره بل غيره أظهر فتأمل، (قوله: فأفاد) أصله لصاحب البحر وتبعه في المنح قوله ( إلا لحاجة ) قال في التاترخانية وإذا احتاج الأب إلى مال ولده فإن كانا في المصر واحتاج لفقره أكل بغير شيء وإن كانا في المفازة واحتاج إليه لانعدام الطعام معه فله الأكل بالقيمة ا هـ (رد المحتار 5/ 696)

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)


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