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Advice For Newly Married Couples

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This is a compilation of 50 advices. May Allah Ta’ala make it beneficial for all of us, Aameen!


1) Be natural from the 1st day, she married ‘you…’

2) Coming from different backgrounds, learn to give and take.

3) Appreciate qurbani (sacrifice) for ones spouse.

4) Learn her temperament, plans, inner enthusiasms, nature, character…

5) Let her know your likes and dislikes from the very beginning,

6) What you like, she may naturally like, or create a liking of it in her.

7) Gruff voice on phone, avoids possible fitnah (temptation to others).

8 ) Don’t throw away crumbs / cleaning of pots, be particular.

9) No backbiting, carrying of tales.

10) Equip yourself with piety. This will avoid much problems,

11) If Anything is worrying you, feel free to discuss.

12) Women use nikah to make husband work to ‘shop’. Misunderstood nikah.

13) Ask for her opinion,

14) If you wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness. By you doing so, she will also adopt this quality, inshallah!

15) Never bring in a third party in day to day problems,

16) Private matters never leaves the 4 walls,

17) Becoming particular on fast, daily quran, zikr, mutala’ah.

18) Don’t succumb to all her requests. She must know she’s under you. Yes, you may compromise,

19) Never shout, rather explain nicely.

20) Never enter the relationship with expectations from her.

21) Take khidmat and serve her as well, love increases. Enter house with intention of serving not being served,

22) Never compromise in religious issues,

23) Her desire is to please you, don’t order, rather say “I’d like to taste this made by you”,

24) Don’t remind her of your rights; say “I’ll try to fulfill yours”,

25) Don’t remind one another of past errors,

26) The more you respect her parents she’ll respect yours,

27) Never lie to her and make it known that you will not accept her lying,

28) Spend quality time with her,

29) Let mashwarah (discussion) become second nature to your’ll,

30) Give a lot of encouragement and have taleem,

31) Sit on floor and eat from one plate. Lovingly placing morsels in to her mouth as well (emulating the Sunnah),

32) No magazines, pictures, opened newspapers of other woman,

33) Adopt deaf dumb attitude if she angers you, don’t pay heed nor reply to words,

34) Avoid intercourse on 1st night. She’s extremely nervous. Start on a light note, it will comfort her, relieve tension,

35) Going to her, make intention of ‘Ibadat. Being a virgin much pain will be felt, perhaps bleeding, be patient, withdraw if she asks. Her comfort comes before your desires.

36) Mention in advance your intention, she can prepare,

37) Sensitive parts: hair, lips, neck, breast. Don’t start same places,

38) Don’t forget foreplay and afterplay,

39) She must move with you to reach climax.

40) To avoid premature ejaculation, stop movement, remove, and take deep breaths.

41) Bath after intercourse. It freshens you and makes you feel much better,

42) Be cautious about love bites, have them but don’t reveal them to others. Such places where it is concealed,

43) Don’t be all over each other in front of others. Be cautious, since you won’t realize it at times,

44) After 1st night be particular of Fajr,

45) Whenever you leave the house, make it a point to kiss her and tell her you love and appreciate everything she does.

46) When returning home, put a smile on your face, make salaam and kiss her. Don’t start by telling her all your problems; she waited the entire day for you.

47) If food is not ready on time, don’t make it an issue. Rather busy yourself with other matters.

48) Try your best to take a gift 1st night. “They’ll never forget that gift”.

49) Never curse the children.

50) You cannot force an issue, she’ll rebel!


Mufti Ismail Moosa

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