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AsSirAj

Young Man...!

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Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose

parents emphasised for him to get married. they had seen so many marriage

proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was

becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in

mind.

 

However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would

always say "She's not the one!"

 

The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing. (Which

was hard to find)? However one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet

a girl, who was religious, and practicing.

 

On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask each

other questions. (As one would expect).

 

The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask

first. The young girl asked the young man soooo many questions. She asked

about his life, his education, his friends, his family , his habits, his

hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences.

Basically everything.

 

And the young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and

politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over

an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man, "Do you have any questions?"

The young man said, "It's okay. I only have 3 questions."

 

The young girl thought, "Wow, only 3 questions. Okay, shoot."

 

The young man's first question was:

 

1) Who do you love the most in the world, someone who's love nothing would

ever overcome?

 

She said, "This is an easy question. my mother."

 

He smiled.

 

The second question he asked was:

 

2) "You said that you read a lot of Qur'an, could you tell me which surahs

you know the meaning of?"

 

Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, "I do not know the

meaning of any yet, but i am hoping to soon. InshAllah. I've just been a bit

busy."

 

The third question the young man asked was:

 

3) I have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are

prettier than you, why should I marry you?

 

Hearing this the young girl was outraged. She stormed off to her parents

with fury and said, "I do not want to marry this man. He is insulting my

beauty and intelligence."

 

And the young man and his parents, were once again, left without an

agreement of marriage. This time, the young man's parents were really angry,

and said, "What did you do to anger that girl? The family were so nice and

pleasant and they were religious like you wanted. What did you ask the

girl?? Tell us! "

 

The young man said," Firstly, I asked her, 'Who do you love the most?' She

said her mother."

The parents said "So, what is wrong with that??"

The young man said, "No one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his

Messenger(SAW) more than anyone else in the world.If a woman loves Allah and

the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) more than anyone, she will

love me and respect me, and stay faithful

to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah (swt). And we can share this

love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty."

 

The young man said, "Then I asked, 'You read a lot of Qur'an, can you tell

me the meaning of any surah?' She said 'No. because I haven't had time yet.'

So I thought of that hadith "ALL humans, are dead except for those who have

knowledge." She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek

knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and

responsibilities, and what will she teach my children, except how to be

negligent, because the woman IS the madrasa (school) and the best of

teachers. And a woman who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her

husband."

 

The third question I asked her was that a lot of girls prettier than her,

had approached me for marriage. Why should I choose her? That is why she

stormed off, getting angry.

 

The young man's parents said "That is a horrible thing to say, why would you

do such a thing? We are going back there to apologise."

 

The young man said. "I said this on purpose, to test whether she could

control her anger. The Prophet(SAW) said "Do not get angry, do not get

angry, do not angry" when asked how to become pious because anger is from

Satan. If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just

met, do you think she will be able to control it with her husband?"

 

So, the moral of this story is that a marriage is based on knowledge, not

looks, practice, not preaching, forgiveness, not anger spiritual love, not

lust and compromise One should look for a person who 1) Has love for Allah

(SWT) and the Messenger (SAW). 2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act

upon it. 3) can control anger and another important and crucial factor: that

she be 4) willing to compromise. *And it goes both ways, so women seeking

a man, should look for the same things. *

 

-From an email

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