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An Islamic Wedding

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By Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullah

 

 

Wedding of Fātimah radiyallahu anha

 

Fātimah radiyallahu anha is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Out of all the children, she was the most beloved to him. He said, ‘The queen of the ladies in Jannah is Fātimah.’ He also said, ‘Fātimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.’

 

When Fātimah radiyallahu anha reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam remained irresponsive.

 

‘Ali radiyallahu anhu, who was 21 at the time, says:

 

‘It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, “How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.” At last, encouraged by the Prophet’s kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Fātimah radiyallahu anha. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam was extremely pleased and asked, “Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in mahr?” I replied, “Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.”

 

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, “A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.”’

So, ‘Ali radiyallahu anhu went and sold his armour to Uthmān radiyallahu anhu for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasūlullāh sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Bilāl radiyallahu anhu was ordered by the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas radiyallahu anhu was sent to call Abū Bakr, Uthmān, Talhah and Zubayr with some companions from the Ansār radiyallahu anhum.

 

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam recited the khutbah (sermon) of nikāh and gave Fātimah radiyallahu anha in marriage to ‘Ali radiyallahu anhu. He announced, ‘Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Fātimah in marriage to ‘Ali for 400 mithqāl of silver and ‘Ali has accepted.’ He then raised his head and made du‘ā saying, ‘O Allāh, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.’ After the nikāh, dates were distributed.

 

When the time came for Fātimah radiyallahu anha to go to ‘Ali’s radiyallahu anhu house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied by Umm Ayman radiyallahu anha. After the ‘Ishā Salāh, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both ‘Ali and Fātimah y and made du‘ā for them.

 

The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of both the worlds was solemnized. In following this sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.


 

 

Some Points Derived from the Above Mentioned Marriage

 

1. The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shari‘ah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.

2. To unnecessarily delay nikāh of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.

3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one’s close associates for the occasion of nikāh. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.

4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

5. If the father of the girl is an ‘ālim or pious and capable of performing nikāh, then he should himself solemnize the marriage.

6. It is better to give the Mahr Fātimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.

7. It is totally un-Islāmic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.

8. It is fallacy to think that one’s respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasūlullāh sallallahu alayhi wasallam?

9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shari‘ah.

10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and mendhi parties in Islām.

11. Great care must be taken as regards to salāh on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.

12. It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.

13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride’s family in holding a feast has no basis in Shari‘ah.

14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl’s hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur’ānic law of hijāb.

15. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.

16. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one’s daughter gifts and presents at the time of nikāh:

 

i) Presents should be given within one’s means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest, for such presents);

ii) To give necessary items;

iii) A show should not be made of whatever is given.

 

17. It is Sunnah for the bridegroom’s family to make walimah.

 

NOTE: In walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

 

18. To delay nikāh after the engagement is un-Islamic. Some Customs In following modern day trends, we have adopted many cutoms that are unislamic and contrary to the sunnah. Some examples are:


i Displaying the bride on stage;

ii Inviting guests for the wedding from far-off places;

iii Receiving guests in the hall;

iv The bride’s people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shari‘ah. We should remember that walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated;

v It is contrary to sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride’s people. We should always remember that our Rasūl sallallahu alayhi wasallam did not give ‘Ali radiyallahu anhu anything except du‘ā.


Islamic Da'wah Academy

Leicester UK

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Simple Wedding

 

By Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh

 

Weddings are moments of much happiness and joy. They are an occasion of happiness not just for the bride and groom, but for family members, associates through to even the general public. It is very regretful that when Allāh ta‘ālā, the most Compassionate, gifts us with such happiness which we remember for the rest of our lives, we use these very moments to indulge in such vices which bring His displeasure and invite His wrath. Music, photography, free mixing between the genders and extravagance in spending are just a few examples. A few incidents from the ahādīth of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam are cited in order to allow us to understand how these events were enacted during his blessed time and enable us think and make our weddings more like these.

 

The simple rule from the wedding ceremony through to the walīmah (wedding banquet) was as reported by Sayyidah ‘Ā’ishah radhiyallāhu ‘anhā that the most blessed wedding is that which is least burdensome and easiest in terms of expenditure. (Al-Bayhaqī)

 

With regards the marriage of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, Sayyidunā Anas radhiyallāhu ‘anhu states that the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam consummated his marriage to Sayyidah Safiyyah bint Huyay radhiyallāhu ‘anhā between Khaybar and Madīnah. On this occasion I invited the Muslims to a walīmah in which neither meat nor bread was offered, rather the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam ordered for leather dining-sheets to be spread, dates, dried yogurt and butter were laid on it, and that was the walīmah of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam.’ (Al-Bukhārī)

 

It is also reported that the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam did not give a more splendid walīmah on the occasion of marrying any of his wives than the one he gave on marrying Sayyidah Zaynab bint Jahash radhiyallāhu ‘anhā, in which the walīmah was with one goat.’ (Al-Bukhārī)

 

Such simplicity and minimal fuss was adopted by the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam which served as an example for his companions, who duly followed in his footsteps. These examples are a far cry from what we experience in our weddings today. Sayyidunā ‘Abdur Rahmān ibn ‘Awf radhiyallāhu ‘anhu after migrating from Makkah to Madīnah, gradually earned enough wealth to be able to afford marriage. He married with such simplicity that it was only when the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam noticed yellow perfume stains on his clothes, that he became aware of his marriage. (Al-Bukhārī)   

 

Marriages were consummated with the Hereafter in mind. Although carnal desires were present they were subjugated by thinking of the long term benefits to the extent that upon learning that Jābir radhiyallāhu ‘anhu had married, the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam inquired from him whether he married a virgin or a divorcee or widow. Sayyidunā Jābir radhiyallāhu ‘anhu informed Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam that he did not marry a virgin but opted to marry an elder woman. (Al-Bukhārī) This choice was taken because Sayyidunā Jābir radhiyallāhu ‘anhu had nine small sisters who remained in his custody after the death of his father. The wisdom filled  thinking was that a more aged and experienced wife will be able to aid him in educating and providing a good religious upbringing to them. Such was the unselfishness and simplicity of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam and his companions radhiyallāhu ‘anhum.

 

These examples serve as reminders for us as to what weddings should be like. The general trend nowadays is to over indulge in every aspect related to the wedding; from the engagement through to the wedding ceremony itself. Countless customs and practices are adopted which have no basis in Sharī‘ah and are nothing but excuses to spend lavishly and fulfil one’s unlawful wants in the disguise of a celebration. Being moments of happiness and celebration Islām has permitted, rather encouraged, one to rejoice but, as with all things there are boundaries and as long as these boundaries are not surpassed then these events will not attract the wrath and anger of Allāh ta‘ālā. In fact they will become a means of His Blessings and Mercy which in turn will ensure that the wedding finds a favourable foundation on which the couple can base the rest of their lives.

 

© Riyādul Jannah (Vol. 15 No. 8, Aug 2006)

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The Islamic perspective in regard to holding wedding functions in a hall

 

Q: Why do certain Ulama discourage from holding wedding functions or any other function in a hall? I don't see any problem in using the hall as a venue to host one's functions. Could you please explain to me the correct Islamic perspective in this issue? 

 

 

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A: We have prepared a detailed article in regard to holding wedding functions in a hall. Below are the details of the article:

Every aspect of the religion of Islam is completely perfect, unique and sublime. In order for one to become a perfect believer and an embodiment of Islam, he is required to practise on every aspect of Islam in the proper manner. Likewise, just as it is vital for the proper functioning of the human body that all the limbs function harmoniously, similarly in order for one to enjoy the true light of Islam, it is essential for one to adhere to every aspect of Islam. While every limb and organ of the human body plays an important role, the most important and essential element is the soul. The soul enables all parts of the human body to function effectively. Once the soul is removed, the human body, with all its faculties, will cease to function. Similarly, though every aspect of Islam is indispensable, the soul of Islam is the Mubaarak Sunnah of Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). When the Sunnah is removed, it is akin to a dead body without a soul.

On the momentous occasion of nikaah, the aspect which creates true happiness and draws immense barakah is to conduct the nikaah in accordance with the Sunnah. The Sunnah advocates that the nikaah should be conducted in the manner in which Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) conducted his nikaah, with the highest level of hayaa and simplicity.

In the golden era of Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), the nikaah would be conducted in the Musjid after which a waleemah would be held in the homes. Nikaah was such a simple and informal affair that only those who happened to be present witnessed the nikaah. Elaborate arrangements would not be made to call people from far and wide to participate in the nikaah and waleemah. In many Ahaadith, we find that Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) was unaware of the nikaah of some Sahaabah who got married in Madinah Munawwarah though he was also present in the Mubaarak city.

A cursory glance at current day nikaahs reveals that Muslims have drifted very far from the standard set by Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). The wedding affair spans over a few days and includes various customary functions viz. a mehndi party, bridal shower, reception by the girl’s party, etc. In most cases, these functions are held in a hall, thereby resembling the kuffaar weddings. Intermingling of sexes, music (or at times playing nazams which resemble music), photography and video filming are just few of the many wrongs that take place in such an environment. At times, the bride is escorted into the hall and walked down the aisle by her father, brother, or even non-mahram cousins so that all may view her. While she is walking down the aisle, if music is not played then it is generally replaced by nazams or qiraat. Sometimes the bride and groom even shake hands, hug or kiss in full view of the audience after which the bride is seated on the stage for the guests to admire. When examined closely, one will realize that the theme and atmosphere of such a wedding is very much like that of a church wedding.

Another new practice which has evolved is that of a separate purda or hijaab section being reserved in one corner of the hall for those who are purda conscious (implying that true Islam has no place in the main function and has therefore been sidelined). Furthermore, the Qur’an is sometimes recited on the stage to give the function an Islamic flavour, despite the overall gathering being one of wholesale sin, thus showing gross disrespect to the words of Allah Ta’ala and Deen. It is a common observation that Salaah is delayed or made qadha in such gatherings. Large amounts of money are spent and a considerable amount of time is dedicated to ensuring that the décor and colour scheme are appealing and attractive. The manner in which the nikaah used to take place in the time of Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), with simplicity and hayaa, is no longer seen in the ummah.  Hazrat Aaisha (Radiyallahu Anha) reports that Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: “The nikaah with the most barakah is that nikaah wherein the least expense was incurred.” (Musnad Ahmad)

How can a nikaah where the commands of Allah Ta’ala and Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) are flouted ever be a means of blessings and happiness? Muslims should therefore take it upon themselves to advise family and friends to keep their nikaahs simple and in accordance with the Sunnah.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

عن عائشة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن أعظم النكاح بركة أيسره مؤنة (مسند أحمد رقم 24529)

عن أنس أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم رأى عبد الرحمن بن عوف وعليه ردع زعفران فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم مهيم فقال يا رسول الله تزوجت امرأة قال ما أصدقتها قال وزن نواة من ذهب قال أولم ولو بشاة (سنن أبي داود رقم 2111)

عن ابن عمر قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من تشبه بقوم فهو منهم. (سنن أبي داود رقم 4033)

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

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