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HOW CAN I BRING MY SIBLINGS ONTO DEEN?HOW CAN I BRING MY SIBLINGS ONTO DEEN? Question: I have a question regarding practice of Deen. My siblings have stopped praying salaah and deeni activities for two years. Both of them are Haafiz. It might be that because of all the expectations and judgements that the Muslim community has put on them. No matter what they do no one seems to be happy with them. If my brothers didn’t go to the masjid my dad wouldn’t talk to them for days. I know that my parents were only ever trying to help and nurture us, but sometimes things did get too extreme. I'm scared that if we pressure them too much it will only drive them further away from Deen. Please help me. Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. Sister-in-Islam, We take note of the contents of your email. It is encouraging to note your passion for Deen and your desire to help your siblings become better Muslims. Make Allāh Ta`ālā help you fulfill this endeavor. Ameen. Rasulullah Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam has stated in a Hadith, الشَّبَابَ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ Translation: Adolescence is a branch of insanity.1 Masha-Allah, you realize the importance of helping your brothers overcome the challenges they are currently facing and Insha-Allah your effort will not go in vain. Be confident that by the Will of Allah you will be able to help them. A person in his youth faces many challenges from biological to financial, from family to social. The different feelings tend to cloud their rationale and they end up making serious mistakes. If they are not carefully handled, the mistakes could develop into perpetual habits and thus aggravating the problem. It is the responsibility of seniors to bring balance in their lives and use diplomacy and wisdom in doing so. What you state regarding your siblings is a typical conduct of a youth. We advise you to adopt the following ways: · Speak to them with a soft tone, respect and dignity. They may feel they deserve to be talked to with respect and not be scolded at every time. · Keep a very friendly and positive attitude towards them and hopefully this will soften their hearts towards you and they will be more willing to listen to you. Allow them to confide in you and share their sentiments with you; · It may be that your siblings feel lonely, deserted and abandoned. Spend quality time with them and bond with them. · Encourage them with wisdom and remind them that the doors of mercy are always open and true happiness lies in the Akhirah. · You seem to have a very good relationship with your parents. Try to contribute to a change in your parent’s mindset. Consider the following advice narrated by Faqeehul Ummah Hazrat Mufti Mahmood Saheb Gangohi Rahimahullah of Hazrat Moulana Maseehullah Khan Saheb Rahimahullah, Nowadays parents should behave towards their children as children. Father should act as a son; not with the awe and fear of yesteryear. He should deal with love, tenderness and affection…. ‘Son it is time for the meals.... son it is time for bed, etc. These are all request; as if one brother is talking to another; for the era of dictating and commanding are over (Ashraf’s Blessings, Page 369) · While you may witness them demonstrating unsuitable behaviour and reacting unjustifiably, console them and show your sisterly love and affection to them. Try to diagnose the cause of their behaviour. · Spend family time together for example, have meals together and have common and light hearted conversations. · Also go out as a family and spend quality time. · Most important of all, family members should show love and affection to each other. · Turn to Allah and make Dua for love and muhabbat in the family. Request your parents to do the same as well. Through patience and perseverance, your siblings will come around and learn to establish a strong connection with Allah Ta'ālā. Insha Allāh. Keep hope in Allah and your efforts will be appreciated by Allah. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Huzaifah Deedat Student Darul Iftaa Lusaka, Zambia Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai. ___________________ مسند الشهاب القضاعي- مؤسسة الرسالة (1/ 100) 1 أَخْبَرَنَا الْقَاضِي أَبُو مُحَمَّدٍ عَبْدُ الْكَرِيمِ بْنُ الْمُنْتَصِرِ، بِإِسْنَادِهِ الْمُقَدَّمُ ذِكْرُهُ فِي الْجُزْءِ الْأَوَّلِ، عَنْ زَيْدِ بْنِ خَالِدٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَنَّهُ قَالَ فِي الْخُطْبَةِ الطَّوِيلَةِ الَّتِي فِيهَا «الشَّبَابُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ» ، وَمَا ذَكَرَ مَعَهُ اعتلال القلوب للخرائطي- نزار مصطفى الباز (1/ 103) حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّهِ أَحْمَدُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ غَالِبٍ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عُبَيْدٍ الْمَدَنِيُّ، وَعَبْدُ الْعَزِيزِ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ نَافِعٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مُصْعَبِ بْنِ خَالِدِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ بْنِ خَالِدِ بْنِ الْجُهَنِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ جَدِّهِ زَيْدِ بْنِ خَالِدٍ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «الشَّبَابُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ، وَالنِّسَاءُ حِبَالَةُ الشَّيْطَانِ المقاصد الحسنة (ص: 401)- دار الكتاب العربي حَدِيث: الشَّبَابُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ، وَالنِّسَاءُ حِبَالَةُ الشَّيْطَانِ، أبو نُعيم في الحلية عن عبد الرحمن بن عابس، وابن لال عن ابن مسعود، والديلمي عن عبد اللَّه بن عامر في حديث طويل، والتيمي في ترغيبه عن زيد بن خالد، كلهم مرفوعا به، وحبالة بالكسر هو ما يصاد به من أي شيء كان، وجمعه حبائل، والرواية به أكثر أي مصائده، ولا ينافيه ما روينا عن سفيان الثوري من قوله: يا معشر الشباب عليكم بقيام الليل، فإنما الخير في الشباب، لكونه محلا للقوة، والنشاط غالبا، ومن شواهد الحديث: عجب ربك من شاب ليست له صبوة، وسيأتي الجامع الصغير وزيادته (ص: 7171، بترقيم الشاملة آليا) الخرائطي فِي اعتلال الْقُلُوب) عَن زيد بن خالد الجهني.( الشَّبَابُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الجُنُونِ وَالنِّسَاءُ حُبَالَةُ الشَّيْطَانِ