ummtaalib

Why Two Women Witnesses? Adapted from the book by Shamshad. M.Khan with modifications and additions A question that repeatedly arises is that concerning the position of women in Islam. Muslim scholars have been able with great success - despite the onslaught of distortion and misrepresentation - to demonstrate the true position of Muslim women; especially of women's liberation in the advent of Islam. The Islamic ruling on issues such as inheritance, the right to earn, the right to own property etc. have reinforced this position and have been prescribed by Allah - the One True God - long before western nations even thought of such concepts! The issue of two women witnesses in place of one man is the concern of the present treatise. As will become clear to the sincere and objective reader, the intellectual status of a Muslim woman is neither marred nor degraded by the commandment that if two Muslim male witnesses are not available then one Muslim male and two Muslim females should be invited to witness. Rather, this injunction is in perfect harmony with the nature and psychology of the woman as will become evident through quotations from psychologists, psychiatrists and medical research. The passage of the Qur'an (Baqarah 2:282) in which the above-mentioned requirement is made has usury, capital and debtor difficulties as its theme. Allah grants guidelines in matters relating to monetary obligations. Then business transactions are dealt with. In this section, the requirement to commit all transactions into writing is stated most emphatically ("Reduce them to writing ... "). The section after this describes the responsibility of the scribe, or in modern parlance, the person responsible for drawing up the agreement. The following section describes the responsibility and the obligation of the person incurring the liability. The section after this explains how if the party that is liable cannot effectively draw up the contract - out of being deficient or weak mentally, or being unable to dictate - then his or her guardian should help draw out the contract and choose two suitable witnesses to observe. It must be understood that this situation arises if it is not possible for the liable party to draw out the contract by him/herself. The condition to put things into writing is still supreme. The next section then explains that two men should be called to witness and if two men are not available ("And if there are not two men ... ") then a man and two women. The legislation then continues and reminds most emphatically that one should not be complacent about putting ALL agreements into writing - no matter whether these agreements are major or minor as this is more JUST in the sight of Allah and more reliable as evidence. The passage of the Qur'an further explains that for practical reasons it may not always be possible to commit on-the-spot agreements into writing. In this case, it is also recommended that it be witnessed. The section which follows then lays down the guidelines which should be followed in the event that no witnesses are present. The purpose in giving the above outline is to draw attention to the fact the question of women witnesses relates, in this instance, to commercial agreements and is not a statement on their status. Let's look at the section under investigation in more detail. Allah said: "And get two witnesses of your own men, and if there are not two men then a man and two women such as you choose for witnesses - so that if one of them errs, the other can remind her ... " [Al-Qur'an 2:182] A number of questions (as well as eyebrows!) are raised when this section of the passage is read. The questions often posed include: Do women have weaker memories than men? Why should two women be needed in the place of one man? Are women inferior to men? One must remember that Prophet Muhammad sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam was neither a physiologist, a psychiatrist and nor a surgeon. He was an illiterate and could neither read nor write. He passed on the revelation exactly as he received it. Allah, the Creator, with His infinite wisdom gave the directives best suited to humankind. He is the Creator, therefore, He knows man better than a man himself. In this scientific age we can explore the significance of this legislation. A great deal has been discovered since the early days of Islam. And each day of advancement brings about a better understanding of the the last and final revelation from the Creator, Allah to the creation, humankind. As women, we are aware of the cyclical psychological strains that a woman has to encounter every month. The symptoms during early pregnancy, ante-natal and post-natal depressions, the phenomenon of menopause, the physiological and psychological problems due to infertility and last but not least the psychological problems faced after miscarriage. It is under these situations that women can experience extraordinary psychological strains giving rise to depression, lack of concentration, slow-mindedness and short term memory loss. Let us examine these episodes in a bit more detail and with medical references from the scientific world. PMT is an umbrella term for more than 140 different symptoms and there is a lot of evidence that it causes a lot of unhappiness in many women, and consequently, to their families. Psychiatry in Practice, April 1983 issue states: "Forty percent of women suffer from pre-menstrual syndrome in some form and one in if our women have their lives severely disrupted by it. Dr Jill Williams, general practitioner from Bury, gives guidelines on how to recognise patients at risk and suggests a suitable treatment." [Psychiatry in Practice, April 1993, p.14] In the same issue, George Beaumont reporting on the workshop held at the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists in London on pre-menstrual syndrome, says: "Some authorities would argue that 80 percent of women have some degree of breast and abdominal discomfort which is pre-menstrual but that only about 10 percent complain to their doctors - and then only because of severe tenderness of the breasts and mental depression... Other authorities have suggested that pre-menstrual syndrome is a new problem, regular ovulation for 20 years or more being a phenomenon caused by 'civilisation', 'medical progress', and an altered concept of the role of women." [Psychiatry in Practice, April 1993, p.18] In its examination of the occurrence of physical and psychological change during the period just prior to the onset of menstruation we read in Psychological Medicine: "Many studies have reported an increased likelihood of various negative affects during the pre-menstrual period. In this affective category are many emotional designations including irritability, depression, tension, anxiety, sadness, insecurity, lethargy, loneliness, tearfulness, fatigue, restlessness and changes of mood. In the majority of studies, investigators have found it difficult to distinguish between various negative affects, and only a few have allowed themselves to be excessively concerned with the differences which might or might not exist between affective symptoms." [Psychological Medicine, Monograph Supplement 4, 1983, Cambridge University Press, p.6] In the same article dealing with pre-menstrual behavioural changes we read: "A significant relationship between the pre-menstrual phase of the cycle and a variety of specific and defined forms of behaviour has been reported in a number of studies. For the purpose of their review, these forms of behaviour have been grouped under the headings of aggressive behaviour, illness behaviour and accidents, performance on examination and other tests and sporting performance." [Psychological Medicine, Monograph Supplement 4, 1983, Cambridge University Press, p.7] The lengthy review portrays how female behaviour is affected in these situations. In 'The Pre-menstrual Syndrome', C. Shreeves writes: "Reduced powers of concentration and memory are familiar aspects of the pre-menstrual syndrome and can only be remedied by treating the underlying complaint." This does not mean, of course, that women are mentally deficient absolutely. It just means that their mental faculties can become affected at certain times in the biological cycle. Shreeves also writes: "As many as 80 percent of women are aware of some degree of pre-menstrual changes, 40 percent are substantially disturbed by them, and between 10 and 20 percent are seriously disabled as a result of the syndrome." Furthermore, women face the problem of ante-natal and post-natal depression, both of which cause extreme cycles of depression in some cases. Again, these recurring symptoms naturally affect the mind, giving rise to drowsiness and dopey memory. On the subject of pregnancy in Psychiatry in Practice, October-November 1986, we learn that: "In an experiment 'Cox' found that 16 percent of a sample of 263 pregnant women were suffering from clinically significant psychiatric problems. Eight percent had a depressive neurosis and 1.9 percent had phobic neurosis. This study showed that the proportion of pregnant women with psychiatric problems was greater than that found in the control group but the difference only tended towards significance." [Psychiatry in Practice, October-November, 1986, p.6] Regarding the symptoms during the post-natal cycle Dr. Ruth Sagovsky writes: "The third category of puerperal psychiatric problems is post-natal depression. It is generally agreed that between10 to 15 percent of women become clinically depressed after childbirth. These mothers experience a variety of symptoms but anxiety, especially over the baby, irritability, and excessive fatigue are common. Appetite is usually decreased and often there are considerable sleep difficulties. The mothers lose interest in the things they enjoyed prior to the baby's birth, and find that their concentration is impaired. They often feel irrational guilt, and blame themselves for being 'bad' wives and mothers. Fifty percent of these women are not identified as having a depressive illness. Unfortunately, many of them do not understand what ails them and blame their husbands, their babies or themselves until the relationships are strained to an alarming degree." [Psychiatry in Practice, May, 1987, p.18] " ... Making the diagnosis of post-natal depression is not always easy. Quite often the depression is beginning to become a serious problem around three months postpartum when frequent contact with the health visitor is diminishing. The mother may not present with depressed mood. If she comes to the health centre presenting the baby as the patient, the true nature of the problem can be missed. When the mother is continually anxious about the baby in spite of reassurance, then the primary health care worker needs to be aware of the possibility of depression. Sometimes these mothers present with marital difficulties, and it is easy to muddle cause and effect, viewing the accompanying low mood as part of the marital problem. Sometimes, only when the husband is seen as well does it become obvious that it is a post-natal depressive illness which has led to the deterioration in the marriage." [May, 1987, p.18]1 Again there is a need to study the effects of the menopause about which very little is known even to this day. This phase in a woman's life can start at any time from the mid-thirties to the mid-fifties and can last for as long as 15 years. Writing about the pre-menopausal years, C.B. Ballinger states: "Several of the community surveys indicate a small but significant increase in psychiatric symptoms in women during the five years prior to the cessation of menstrual periods... The most obvious clinical feature of this transitional phase of menstrual function is the alteration in menstrual pattern, the menstrual cycle becoming shorter with age, and variability in cycle length become very prominent just prior to the cessation of menstruation. Menorrhagia is a common complaint at this time, and is associated with higher than normal levels of psychiatric disturbance." [Psychiatry in Practice, November, 1987, p.26] On the phenomenon of menopause in an article in Newsweek International, May 25th 1992, Dr. Jennifer al-Knopf, Director of the Sex and Marital Therapy Programme of North-western University writes: " ... Women never know what their body is doing to them ... some reporting debilitating symptoms from hot flashes to night sweat, sleeplessness, irritability, mood swings, short term memory loss, migraine, headaches, urinary inconsistence and weight gain. Most such problems can be traced to the drop-off in the female hormones oestrogen and progesterone, both of which govern the ovarian cycle. But every woman starts with a different level of hormones and loses them at different rates. The unpredictability is one of the most upsetting aspects. Women never know what their body is going to do to them ... " Then there are the psychiatric aspects of infertility and miscarriage. On the subject of infertility, Dr. Ruth Sagovsky writes: "Depression, anger and guilt are common reactions to bereavement. In infertility there is the added pain of there being nobody to grieve for. Families and friends may contribute to the feeling of isolation by passing insensitive comments. The gynaecologist and GPs have to try to help these couples against a backdrop of considerable distress." [Psychiatry in Practice, Winter, 1989, p.16] On the subject of miscarriage the above article continues: "Miscarriage is rarely mentioned when considering abortion. However, miscarriage can at times have profound psychological sequelae and it is important that those women affected receive the support they need. Approximately one-fifth of all pregnancies end in spontaneous abortion and the effects are poorly recognised. If however, the miscarriage occurs in the context of infertility, the emotional reaction may be severe. The level of grief will depend on the meaning of pregnancy to the couple." [Psychiatry in Practice, Winter, 1989, p.17] Also, the fact that women are known to be more sensitive and emotional than men must not be overlooked. It is well known, for example, that under identical circumstances women suffer much greater anxiety than men. Numerous medical references on this aspect of female behaviour can be given but to quote as a specimen, we read in 'Sex Differences in Mental Health' that: "Surveys have found different correlates of anxiety and neuroticism in the two sexes. Women and men do not become equally upset by the same things, and being upset does not have the same effect in men as in women. Ekehammer (1974; Ekehammer, Magnusson and Ricklander, 1974) using data from 116 sixteen-year-olds, did a factor analysis on self-reported anxiety. Of the eighteen different responses indicating anxiety (sweating palms, faster heart rate, and so on) females reported experiencing twelve of them significantly more often than males. Of the anxiety-producing situations studied, females reported experiencing significantly more anxiety than males reported in fourteen of them." [Katherine Blick Hoyenga and Kermit T. Hoyenga in Sex Differences in Mental Health, p.336] It is in light of the above findings of psychologist, psychiatrists and researchers that the saying of Allah, the Exalted: "And get two witnesses of your own men, and if there are not two men then a man and two women such as you choose for witnesses - SO THAT IF ONE OF THEM ERRS, THE OTHER CAN REMIND HER ... " [Al-Qur'an 2:182] can be understood. One must also bear in mind that forgetfulness can be an asset. A woman has to be put up with children presenting all kinds of emotional problems and a woman is certainly known to be more resilient than man. The aim of presenting these research findings on a number of aspects related with the theme is to indicate that a woman by her biological constitution faces such problems. It does not however make her inferior to man but it does illustrate that she is different. Viewed in this way, it can only lead one to the conclusion that Allah knows His creation the best and has prescribed precise laws in keeping with the nature of humankind. Allah, the Creator, is - as always - All-Knowing and man (or the disbeliever in Allah and the final, perfected, revealed way of life, Islam) is - as usual - either ignorant and arrogant. Footnotes 1 Psychiatry in Practice, April 1993, p.14. 2 Psychiatry in Practice, April 1993, p.18. 3 Psychological Medicine, Monograph Supplement 4, 1983, Cambridge University Press, p.6. 4 Psychological Medicine, Monograph Supplement 4, 1983, Cambridge University Press, p.7. 5 Psychiatry in Practice, October-November, 1986, p.6. 6 Psychiatry in Practice, May, 1987, p.18. 7 Psychiatry in Practice, May, 1987, p.18. As has been mentioned above the Prophet Muhammad (sas) was neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist. Rather, he merely conveyed the truth that was revealed to him. It is in the context of this quotation and the one before it that the following saying of the Prophet Muhammad (sas) can be understood: "Treat your women kindly. The woman has been created from a rib, and the most curved part of a rib is its upper region. If you try to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So treat women kindly." And in another narration: "If you try to straighten her you will break her and breaking her means divorce." [Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]. This is very important advice for the man - for him to have patience and not to try to 'reform' the behavioural pattern of the woman during these times i.e. 'to straighten her'. He will not be able to do that, as it is biological in origin. Instead, he should maintain and protect his relationship with her by showing kindness. 8 Psychiatry in Practice, November, 1987, p.26. 9 Psychiatry in Practice, Winter, 1989, p.16. 10 Psychiatry in Practice, Winter, 1989, p.17. 11 Katherine Blick Hoyenga and Kermit T. Hoyenga in 'Sex Differences in Mental Health', p.336.

Two Women against one Man as witness: Inequality? Part of Q/A at askimam.org In regards to the claim of inequality between the witnessing of men and women, it is also unsound and contrary to the physical and psychological make-up of the human body. How can it be considered as inequality when the two, men and women, constitute completely dissimilar species and entities? Inequality would only arise if there were a disparity of rights concerning the same species of individuals. For example, if a father favors one son over another, this will be inequality since the sons are of the same genus. On the contrary, if the father favors his own son over his nephew, could this be considered inequality? If any impartial and unbiased medical expert is consulted, he / she will attest to the fact that men and women are different, physically and psychologically. Any neurologist will attest to the fact that the brain of a woman functions differently from that of a man. Consider the following research conducted by the neurobiological researchers of the University of California: “Larry Cahill, an associate professor of neurobiology and behavior, and Lisa Kilpatrick, a former postdoctoral fellow in his laboratory, have found that the amygdala, an almond-shaped structure found on both sides of the brain, behaves very differently in males and females while the subjects are at rest. In men, the right amygdala is more active and shows more connections with other regions of the brain, even when there is no outside stimulus. Conversely, in women, the left amygdala is more connected with other regions of the brain. In addition, the regions of the brain with which the amygdala communicates while a subject is at rest are different in men and women.” “The researchers used Positron Emission Tomography (PET) scans to analyze the brains of 72 healthy, right-handed adults (36 men and 36 women). The subjects were instructed to relax with their eyes closed while being scanned. When the scans were later studied, researchers found that not only was there a difference between the men and women as to which hemisphere's amygdala was more active, but also that the regions of the brain that the amygdala "talked" with were also quite different. In men, the right-hemisphere amygdala showed more connectivity with brain regions such as the visual cortex and the striatum. In contrast, the left amygdala in women was more connected to regions such as the insular cortex and the hypothalamus. The finding led to an unexpected discovery: Many brain areas communicating with the amygdala in men are engaged with and responding to the external environment. For example, the visual cortex is responsible for vision, while the striatum coordinates motor actions. Conversely, many regions connected to the left-hemisphere amygdala in women control aspects of the environment within the body. Both the insular cortex and the hypothalamus, for example, receive strong input from the sensors inside the body.” “… Cahill has led the way in exploring gender-related differences in the brain. In a 2001 study, he showed that the sexes use different sides of their brains to process and store long-term memories. In another study in 2002, he demonstrated how a particular drug, propranolol, can block memory differently in men and women.” (http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/article/8011) In another neurological article entitled, ‘Men and Women Really Do Think Differently’ Bjorn Carey mentions; “Psychology professor Richard Haier of the University of California, Irvine led the research along with colleagues from the University of New Mexico. Their findings show that in general, men have nearly 6.5 times the amount of gray matter related to general intelligence compared with women, whereas women have nearly 10 times the amount of white matter related to intelligence compared to men.” “In human brains, gray matter represents information processing centers, whereas white matter works to network these processing centers. The results from this study may help explain why men and women excel at different types of tasks, said co-author and neuropsychologist Rex Jung of the University of New Mexico. For example, men tend to do better with tasks requiring more localized processing, such as mathematics, Jung said, while women are better at integrating and assimilating information from distributed gray-matter regions of the brain, which aids language skills.” To lend further support on how the disproportion of grey and white matter between men and women affect the disparity and inequality of intrinsic sensory capabilities between men and women, which generally forms the basis of witnessing, the following passage will prove beneficial; · Grey matter – closely packed neuron cell bodies form the grey matter of the brain. The grey matter includes regions of the brain involved in muscle control, sensory perceptions, such as seeing and hearing, memory, emotions and speech. · White matter – neuronal tissue containing mainly long, myelinated axons , is known as white matter or the diencephalon. Situated between the brainstem and cerebellum, the white matter consists of structures at the core of the brain such as the thalamus and hypothalamus . The nuclei of the white matter are involved in the relay of sensory information from the rest of the body to the cerebral cortex, as well as in the regulation of autonomic (unconscious) functions such as body temperature, heart rate and blood pressure. Certain nuclei within the white matter are involved in the expression of emotions, the release of hormones from the pituitary gland, and in the regulation of food and water intake. These nuclei are generally considered part of the limbic system . (http://www.brainexplorer.org/brain_atlas/Brainatlas_index.shtml) As the above articles mention, the regions of the brain involved in sensory perceptions, such as seeing, hearing and memory, is approximately 6.5 times greater in men. Thus, neurobiology in its latest researches conducted by the world’s best researches attest to the fact that men make stronger and more reliable witnesses than women due to their greater sensory perception. This ought to serve as lucid testimony to the authenticity of the message of Islam. Allah Ta’ala had revealed the Holy Quran over 1400 years ago alluding to such neurobiological facts which the scientists are only uncovering today. As Muslims, we might not have known of the facts of this new research, but our faith and conviction in the Holy Quran has driven us to accept the word of Allah as true even before the discoveries of such studies. Therefore, we are not surprised by such research, but it should strengthen our conviction. This research also lends credence to the undeniable fact that women are different from men. Would it be logical to accept two separate beings as being equal when in fact that are completely different from one another? Aristotle, the famous Greek philosopher duly mentioned, “The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.” In conclusion, it should be noted that being disparate does not necessitate one specie being better than the other. As previously stated, equality only applies to homogenous items of the same species. On the contrary, male chauvinists claim that men are superior and women are inferior. The feminists claim that women are exacts equals of men. In reality, both groups are wrong in their radical views. The correct position is that men and women are completely separate heterogeneous creations of Allah that complement one another in their dissimilarities. This phenomenon is witnessed on a daily basis throughout the creation of Allah Ta’ala for example, the sun and the moon, despite their dissimilarity, work in perfect congruity and union. The sun, in its grandeur, has one specific role to play whilst the moon, in its radiance, has a reciprocally different role. It would be absurd and irrational for the moon to cry of inequality and demand to be given the same function and position of the sun. Similarly, it would be illogical for the sun to make a similar demand. When the sun fulfills his function and the moon hers, both entities will beautifully complement one another in a balanced harmony enabling the system of the universe to endure. On the contrary, if one tries to compete for the function of the other, then the systematic celestial organization will lead to perdition. The same applies in the case of men, women, and all heterogeneous creations for that matter. And Allah knows best Wassalam Ml. Yusuf bin Yaqub and Ml. Ismail Moosa, Students Darul Iftaa Checked and Approved by: Mufti Ebrahim Desai Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah

An Important Point The Assumptions of the Critics

Beautifully written up...love for our beautiful deen and the wonderful, inspiring people of Allah ta'ala welled up in the heart........

The issue of two women witnesses in place of one man is a topic much discussed online and off. Questions and statements such as the following abound.... Why Two Women Witnesses? Are two women equal to one man in Islam? A woman's witness testimony is half of that of a man's It is the following verse of the Noble Qur'an which the critics of Islam say implies that two women are worth one man. According to them it is proof of the low status Islam grants women. يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا تَدَايَنْتُمْ بِدَيْنٍ إِلَىٰ أَجَلٍ مُسَمًّى فَاكْتُبُوهُ ۚ وَلْيَكْتُبْ بَيْنَكُمْ كَاتِبٌ بِالْعَدْلِ ۚ وَلَا يَأْبَ كَاتِبٌ أَنْ يَكْتُبَ كَمَا عَلَّمَهُ اللَّهُ ۚ فَلْيَكْتُبْ وَلْيُمْلِلِ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِ الْحَقُّ وَلْيَتَّقِ اللَّهَ رَبَّهُ وَلَا يَبْخَسْ مِنْهُ شَيْئًا ۚ فَإِنْ كَانَ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِ الْحَقُّ سَفِيهًا أَوْ ضَعِيفًا أَوْ لَا يَسْتَطِيعُ أَنْ يُمِلَّ هُوَ فَلْيُمْلِلْ وَلِيُّهُ بِالْعَدْلِ ۚ وَاسْتَشْهِدُوا شَهِيدَيْنِ مِنْ رِجَالِكُمْ ۖ فَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُونَا رَجُلَيْنِ فَرَجُلٌ وَامْرَأَتَانِ مِمَّنْ تَرْضَوْنَ مِنَ الشُّهَدَاءِ أَنْ تَضِلَّ إِحْدَاهُمَا فَتُذَكِّرَ إِحْدَاهُمَا الْأُخْرَىٰ ۚ وَلَا يَأْبَ الشُّهَدَاءُ إِذَا مَا دُعُوا ۚ وَلَا تَسْأَمُوا أَنْ تَكْتُبُوهُ صَغِيرًا أَوْ كَبِيرًا إِلَىٰ أَجَلِهِ ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ أَقْسَطُ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ وَأَقْوَمُ لِلشَّهَادَةِ وَأَدْنَىٰ أَلَّا تَرْتَابُوا ۖ إِلَّا أَنْ تَكُونَ تِجَارَةً حَاضِرَةً تُدِيرُونَهَا بَيْنَكُمْ فَلَيْسَ عَلَيْكُمْ جُنَاحٌ أَلَّا تَكْتُبُوهَا ۗ وَأَشْهِدُوا إِذَا تَبَايَعْتُمْ ۚ وَلَا يُضَارَّ كَاتِبٌ وَلَا شَهِيدٌ ۚ وَإِنْ تَفْعَلُوا فَإِنَّهُ فُسُوقٌ بِكُمْ ۗ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۖ وَيُعَلِّمُكُمُ اللَّهُ ۗ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ Transalation O ye who believe! When ye contract a debt for a fixed term, record it in writing. Let a scribe record it in writing between you in (terms of) equity. No scribe should refuse to write as Allah hath taught him, so let him write, and let him who incurreth the debt dictate, and let him observe his duty to Allah his Lord, and diminish naught thereof. But if he who oweth the debt is of low understanding, or weak, or unable himself to dictate, then let the guardian of his interests dictate in (terms of) equity. And call to witness, from among your men, two witnesses. And if two men be not (at hand) then a man and two women, of such as ye approve as witnesses, so that if the one erreth (through forgetfulness) the other will remember. And the witnesses must not refuse when they are summoned. Be not averse to writing down (the contract) whether it be small or great, with (record of) the term thereof. That is more equitable in the sight of Allah and more sure for testimony, and the best way of avoiding doubt between you; save only in the case when it is actual merchandise which ye transfer among yourselves from hand to hand. In that case it is no sin for you if ye write it not. And have witnesses when ye sell one to another, and let no harm be done to scribe or witness. If ye do (harm to them) lo! it is a sin in you. Observe your duty to Allah. Allah is teaching you. And Allah is knowerof all things. (Qur'an 2:282)

Making Salaam at the time of Entering the Home Hadhrat Thanwi (rahmatullahi ‘alaihi) once mentioned: “Some people enter their homes without greeting the household (e.g. with salaam) and making their presence known to their families. This way of entering the home is incorrect. It is part of the etiquettes of Islam that at the time of entering the home one enters with making salaam aloud. The benefit of this teaching is so that the wife and the inmates of the household will be able to make themselves presentable if they are not in a state that they wish to be seen. Similarly, it is possible that in the home there could be non mahram women of the locality present, and without informing them of one’s presence, one’s sight could fall on them. It is for this reason Shariat teaches us that at the time of entering the home one should make his presence known (i.e. through salaam).” (Malfoozaat Hakeemul Ummat 1/210)

Death is Inevitable Hazrat Shaikh (rahmatullahi ‘alaihi) once mentioned: I always reflect over the fact that death is inevitable. Each person knows with certainty that death will overtake him one day. Why is it that people are still so unmindful about death and hence do not prepare for it? Today after Asr salaah my neighbour had passed away. May Allah Ta’ala forgive him and have mercy on him. He had just performed his Asr salaah and sat down in order to recite the Qur’an when death had all of a sudden overtaken him. No one knows at which moment death will strike. One is unaware whether one will live to see the next day or even the next hour. I took a great lesson from the death of my neighbour. He was a pious man who was ba’yat to my respected uncle Moulana Ilyaas (rahmatullahi ‘alaihi). (Malfoozaate Hazrat Shaikh 1/134)

Aqidah at Tahawiyyah Q: I have a brief question on Aqidah at Tahawiyyah. When I studied the matan, I was told that all scholars agree that the beliefs in Aqidah at Tahawiyyah are considered as sound by the consensus of all scholars. Unfortunately, the shaikh did not provide a reference for this quote. Can you please inform me of some of the scholars that have mentioned this Ijma? A: The Aqaaid explained in Aqidah at Tahawiyyah conforms to the Aqeedah of the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jamaah. Similarly the Aqaaid explained in Aqidah at Tahawiyyah conforms to the Aqaaid explained in other kitaabs of Aqeedah (e.g. Alfiqhul Akbar, Sharhul Aqaaid, etc). This is an indication that whatever is contained in Aqidah at Tahawiyyah has been unanimously approved off, since there is no contradiction found in it against the Aqaaid of the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jamaah. Allama Subki (Rahmatullahi Alayh) has mentioned that all the Ulama of the Ummah have accepted the Aqaaid that appear in Aqidah at Tahawiyyah. And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best. قال الإمام تاج الدين السبكي الأشعري الشافعي رحمه الله تعالى: عقيدة الأشعري هي ما تضمنته عقيدة أبي جعفر الطحاوي التي تلقاها علماء المذاهب بالقبول ورضوها عقيدة (معيد النعم ومبيد النقم: ص 75) Answered by: Mufti Zakaria Makada Checked & Approved: Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

wa'alaykumus salaam haya. The husband decides and this is a shar'ee ruling. Ulama advice husbands to let their wives visit and not to stop them visiting unnecessarily. However if the husband felt that her deen is compromised or if he has other reasons he can stop her.

Struggling Against One's Base Desires (Nafs) Shaykh Zulfiqar Ahmed (حفظه الله) Those who believe and work righteous deeds, from them shall We blot out all evil (that may be) in them and We shall reward them according to the best of their deeds (29:7) Mujahida is the term used for any mental, physical, or financial hardship that one may have to bear for the sake of Islam, and the above verse is a poignant one for such people who strive in the path of Allah سبحانه و تعالى. Mujahida can indeed be very personal, in the case of fighting one’s base desires (nafs) and subjugating it to the rule of Islamic Sacred Law (shariah). The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said that a mujahid is someone who struggles against his nafs for the sake of obeying Allah سبحانه و تعالى. (Note by AHD- Narrated by al-Tirmidhî in the book concerning the virtues of Jihad. He said: "This Hadîth is Hasan Sahih." Al-Bayhaqî mentioned in Shu'ab al-Iman another narration from Fadala which states: "The Mujahid is he who struggles against his self in Allah's obedience and the migrant (Muhâjir) is he who migrates from sins and wrongdoings."-Mishkât al-Masâbîh: Kitab al-Imân: book 34) The nafs always wants to lead mankind astray because it revels in acts that are against the shariah. Hence, a person becomes deserving of reward from Allah سبحانه و تعالى if he controls the unlawful desires of his nafs and subjugates it to the commandments of Allah سبحانه و تعالى. Infinite Reward For Mujahida against the Nafs Allah had blessed a student of Hadrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi (رحمة اللہ علیه) with a successful business and hence a great deal of wealth. This student wrote his teacher a letter explaining that he felt hesitant to pay zakat (alms) when it was due, due to fears of financial loss and hardship. He would of course pay the correct amount due every year but amid apprehension of losing his wealth. Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi (رحمة اللہ علیه) replied back that he would earn twice the reward of people who merely pay their zakat without a thought, for he was not only fulfilling the command of Allah, but also struggling with his nafs over the issue. Man will earn reward every time he struggles against his nafs or other circumstances to fulfill the Will of Allah سبحانه و تعالى. The nafs will always work hard to tempt man to act against the shariah; to fulfill unlawful desires. Shaitan in turn gives added strength to the nafs by tempting man from the outside, and hence together these two forces join in an ongoing effort to lead people astray. Man should stand determined against these forces and committed to obeying Allah سبحانه و تعالى. When he struggles against this onslaught it will be known as his personal struggle because he is fighting in the Path of Allah سبحانه و تعالى and will earn reward accordingly. Allah سبحانه و تعالى rewards each and every action because He says in the Holy Quran that He will not let any action go to waste. Man is an ingrate who enjoys the countless blessings of Allah سبحانه و تعالى without realizing their tremendous value or thanking Allah سبحانه و تعالى for them. Allah سبحانه و تعالى on the other hand places great value on every righteous deed and does not let anything go to waste. Man needs to realize the infinite bounties of his Creator that he takes for granted and he should return to worshipping his Lord instead of falling into the trap of worshipping his nafs. If man remains asleep at the time of Fajr then he abandons the command of Allah سبحانه و تعالى and becomes a worshipper of his nafs because his bed is dearer to him at that time. Likewise if he ignores the time of prayer like most of us do in gatherings like weddings then he has again abandoned the worship of Allah سبحانه و تعالى and given in to his nafs. Everything that takes away from the worship of Allah سبحانه و تعالى falls into the worship of the nafs, and man needs to fight against this so that he can again return to obeying Allah سبحانه و تعالى. All the false gods that man worships cannot even create a fly if they unite together, and moreover cannot take back something that the fly might steal from them. Idols and the nafs are all such false gods, whereas the One to be sought is something beyond these illusions and fabrications. The Holy Quran continues in stark candor that man does not realize the true worth of his Creator. Different Categories of the Nafs Nafs is man’s enemy and must be trained so it is brought towards righteousness. Mujahida of the lovers of Allah سبحانه و تعالى today and through the ages has been to train this nafs so that it becomes an ally in serving Allah rather than an enemy. There are three stages or types of nafs. Nafs ul Ammara is the worst category of nafs, in which a person not only commits sin but boasts of his sins and thus challenges Allah سبحانه و تعالى. This is an animalistic nafs that does not care about anything or anyone, least about pleasing Allah سبحانه و تعالى. This nafs is a close ally of Shaitan in pushing people away from Allah سبحانه و تعالى and Muslims should pray for deliverance from this type of evil. Nafs ul Luwwama is a stage somewhat improved from this such that this type of nafs feels shame when it commits sins and repents to Allah سبحانه و تعالى. This describes the average Muslim who desperately wants to obey and please Allah سبحانه و تعالى but slips into sin because his nafs overpowers him at times. However, after falling into sin he immediately repents because he feels deeply ashamed. Although this nafs is definitely an improvement from the previous one, man should always keep striving to improve his nafs beyond this. Nafs ul Mutma’inna is the best kind of nafs. It has been rectified and trained to obey Allah. Only the special lovers of Allah سبحانه و تعالى who have struggled their whole lives against their nafs are so blessed. This type of nafs now remains preoccupied with the sunnah and other ways by which to please Allah سبحانه و تعالى. Moreover, people with this type of nafs not only run from sin but Allah سبحانه و تعالى protects them from sin and keeps them on the path of the shariah. This nafs struggles so hard to improve itself that Allah سبحانه و تعالى will admit it into Paradise on the Day of Judgment as He promises in the Holy Quran. This is the nafs that man should beg for and beseech from Allah سبحانه و تعالى. Mujahida till Death Ever since Shaitan was exiled from Paradise, mujahida has been written in man’s destiny since Shaitan promised to lead man astray at every opportunity. Allied with Shaitan within man is his nafs, constantly urging him to act against Allah’s wishes and toward the fulfillment of evil base desires. Trapped alongside the nafs within the body is the ruh (spirit), which is inherently pure and constantly struggles to act according to Allah’s wishes. Hence man is destined to struggle between good and evil until he triumphs over his nafs by the mercy of Allah سبحانه و تعالى. Man is weak and cannot do anything alone; hence Muslims should constantly pray to Allah سبحانه و تعالى for help in making their nafs submit to His Will. Source

Islamic Ruling On Beating One's Wife We acknowledge that Islām give rights to husband to beat his wife, but what if he does so unlawfully? What if he oppresses his wife and beats her unnecessarily? What if he slaps her on her face? Answer Wa’alaykum as Salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuhu, There is no doubt that a woman has been given equal rights to that of a man in Islām. A man cannot oppress, tyrannize or manipulate his wife as he wishes. Rather, Islām advocates that a man should treat his wife with utmost love, respect and dignity. Our illustrious Fuqahā permit a husband to hit his wife slightly on a few occasions. The following four occasions (and occasions which are similar to them) are mentioned in the books of fiqh: 1) If she refuses to beautify herself for her husband, 2) If she refuses to share the bed with him, 3) If she leaves the house with no necessity without his consent, 4) If she omits her compulsory prayers or omits performing ghusl after attaining purity from ḥayḍh. (There is difference of opinion on this last point; Some jurists permit the husband to slightly hit his wife while others disagree.) Although there are certain times (there are four times in the Ḥanafi maḍhab) permission is granted for a husband to hit his wife. However, the books of Ḥadīth are emphatic that he may only hit her slightly, in such a way that he does not bruise her or cause her any injury. It should be remembered that he can only hit her after first admonishing her, (and if that does not have an effect) then sleeping in a separate bed/room. If still she does not comply, the husband will be permitted to beat his wife slightly without causing any wounds, injury or harm. Again, this is only what is permissible and not what is commendable. It is preferable that the couple should be broadminded, forbearing and tolerate each other. Hitting should be the last step after exhausting all avenues. If the husband abuses this ‘responsibly’ and beats a wife without respecting the limits set down by the Qurān and Ḥadīth, then she can take him to an Islāmic court and the judge will decide accordingly. She cannot take revenge on her own (this is for her betterment, otherwise, the husband will fight back and a war will burst out in the house). This would however, only apply if here were bruises and injuries. If he slapped her on the face and it did not cause any injuries, she would not be permitted to take him to court, although he will be sinning for violating the laws of Islam. However, if she gets injured, she may take legal action. The mere cause of injuries and wounds is enough for the wife to take the husband to court, even though these wounds will heal in a short period of time. Of course, the judge would give an adequate ruling. وفيها من أخر الجنايات ادعت على زوجها ضربا فاحشا وثبت ذلك عليه يعزر الزوج اه وظاهره أنه لو لم يكن فاحشا وهو غير المبرح فإنه لا يعزر فيه (البحر الرائق – (3 / 237) ضرب الزوج زوجته لترك مطاوعته في الفراش فهلكت ضمن (المحيط البرهاني – (3 / 124) لو ضرب امرأته على المضجع أو في أدب فماتت يضمن إجماعا وعليه الكفارة (البحر الرائق – (8 / 392) ولو ضرب امرأته للنشوز فماتت منه يضمن (بدائع الصنائع – (6 / 381) قال في البحر وصرحوا بأنه إذا ضربها بغير حق وجب عليه التعزير اه أي وإن لم يكن فاحشا (رد المحتار – ط. بابي الحلبي – (4 / 79) ضرب امرأته تأديباً لها فماتت 1390 ولو ضرب امرأته في الأدب فماتت فإنه يضمن (عيون المسائل – (1 / 280) والزوج إذا ضرب امرأته بنشوز معتاد أو غير معتاد فماتت كان ضامناً عند الكل ولا يرثها في قولهم (فتاوى قاضيخان – (2 / 179) رجل ضرب امرأته في أدب فماتت قال أبو حنيفة رحمه الله تعالى عليه الدية و الكفارة (فتاوى قاضيخان – (3 / 273) وإن عزر زوج عرسه) على ترك الزينة، أو الإجابة إذا دعاها إلى فراشه، أو على الخروج من بيته فماتت (لا) أي لا يهدر دمها بل يضمن، لأن تعزيره إياها على هذه الأشياء مباح ترجع منفعته إليه لا إليها، فيتقيد بشرط السلامة وعلى هذا ينبغي أن لا يضرب امرأته على ترك الصلاة، أو على ترك غسل الجنابة، لأن منفعة ذلك عائدة إليها. وقد ذكر الحاكم: أنه لا يضرب امرأته على ترك الصلاة، ويضرب ابنه عليها (فتح باب العناية – (6 / 40) And Allaah Ta’aala knows best Wassalaam, Ismail Moosa (Mufti) Iftaa Department, Euro-Sunni & Islamic Research and Welfare Academy Source

Scholars' Condemnation of Men hitting their Wives

Clear Instructions in the Qur'an in case of Conflict Contrary to the misconception that the Qur'an encourages "wife beating", clear instructions have been mentioned in verse 34 of Suratun Nisaa on the steps to be taken by the husband in a conflict where the the wife is rebellious and at fault. As for the "Beating"...

What does the Qur'an & Hadith saying regarding Marriage? From Hadith (To quote just a few....) On the occasion of Hajjatul-Wida (The Farewell Hajj) The Prophet among other advices said with regard to women; "0 People! fear Allah with regard to your wives. You have taken them into your possession with the permission of Allah." "A believer must not hate a believing woman (i.e., his wife); if he dislikes one of her traits he will be pleased with another." (Muslim) The Prophet said: "Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well." Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 628 | Narrated by Abu Hurayrah Even Verbal Abuse is not Tolerated in Islam As for the Children....

One of the most widely discussed subjects on the net. Unfortunately many Muslims, especially women, accept misconceptions propagated by the enemies of Islam. In this topic we shall inshaAllah present the true Islamic teachings. The verse of the Noble Qur'an which discusses the issue and which is surrounded by misconception is from Suratun Nisaa, number 34

The third Hadith The five pillars of Islam On the authority of Abu 'Abd al-Rahman 'Abdullah bin 'Umar bin al-Khattab, radiyallahu 'anhuma, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say: [Al-Bukhari & Muslim] "Islam has been built upon five things - on testifying that there is no god save Allah, and that Muhammad is His Messenger; on performing salah; on giving the zakah; on Hajj to the House; and on fasting during Ramadhan."

Words of the second hadith in the video (at 1:05) in the opening post Islam, Iman, Ihsan, Qadar (Click on picture to enlarge) Translation: Also on the authority of 'Umar, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: "While we were one day sitting with the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, there appeared before us a man dressed in extremely white clothes and with very black hair. No traces of journeying were visible on him, and none of us knew him. He sat down close by the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, rested his knee against his thighs, and said, O Muhammad! Inform me about Islam." Said the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, "Islam is that you should testify that there is no deity save Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger, that you should perform salah (ritual prayer), pay the zakah, fast during Ramadan, and perform Hajj (pilgrimage) to the House (the Ka'bah at Makkah), if you can find a way to it (or find the means for making the journey to it)." Said he (the man), "You have spoken truly." We were astonished at his thus questioning him and telling him that he was right, but he went on to say, "Inform me about iman (faith)." He (the Messenger of Allah) answered, "It is that you believe in Allah and His angels and His Books and His Messengers and in the Last Day, and in fate (qadar), both in its good and in its evil aspects." He said, "You have spoken truly." Then he (the man) said, "Inform me about Ihsan." He (the Messenger of Allah) answered, " It is that you should serve Allah as though you could see Him, for though you cannot see Him yet He sees you." He said, "Inform me about the Hour." He (the Messenger of Allah) said, "About that the one questioned knows no more than the questioner." So he said, "Well, inform me about the signs thereof (i.e. of its coming)." Said he, "They are that the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress, that you will see the barefooted ones, the naked, the destitute, the herdsmen of the sheep (competing with each other) in raising lofty buildings." Thereupon the man went off. I waited a while, and then he (the Messenger of Allah) said, "O 'Umar, do you know who that questioner was?" I replied, "Allah and His Messenger know better." He said, "That was Jibril. He came to teach you your religion."" [Muslim]

Words of the first hadith in the video in the opening post Actions are judged by intentions (Click on picture to enlarge) It is narrated on the authority of Amirul Mu'minin, Abu Hafs 'Umar bin al-Khattab, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say: "Actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose migration (hijrah) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Updated Post with: Inheritance, the full detail

Q1: Can you please explain the different types of nafs, nafs-e-ammara, nafs-e-lawwama and nafs-e-mutmainna. Answer In the Quran-e-Kareem the word nafs is used in two ways. 1. First way that the word nafs is used, is to indicate our own-self. Some people would translate it in English as self, some people would translate it in English as soul. An example of this is when Allah Almighty says in the Quran: وَاذْكُرْ رَبَّكَ فِي نَفْسِكَ [7:205] And remember your Rabb inside your-self 2. The second way the nafs has been used in the Quran, which is quite frequent, is that the nafs is referring to a specific part of our self and it is that part of our self that has desires, appetite, some people call it ego. It has anger, it has passion, it has lust, desire, it has all these things. Some people may even call it the carnal self or the carnal soul. This nafs is not part of the Ruh, its part of the physical human being. So if we wanted to say that we have some physical part of our creation, that is our body and our nafs and then Allah Almighty has also put inside of ourselves an inner or spiritual part of our creation, that is our ruh. This nafs is part of our physical self, even though its not part of our physical body. Three adjectives have been used in the Nobel Quran to describe three different types of nafs. 1. The first is nafs-ul-ammarah. إِنَّ النَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌ بِالسُّوءِ [12:53] Indeed the nafs that overwhelmingly commands a person to do sin. So this refers to that nafs, that is ruling over the self. This means that the nafs commands us and tells us what to do. So when the nafs has any desire, any wish, any appetite, it simply commands us, it dominates us. It is that nafs which is sovereign over a human being, it has sovereignty over us. What it means is that the nafs is sovereign over us, if it is Ammarah, it means we are subjugated by it, we are sub-ordinate to it, we listen and follow all of its dictates and commands. So this is the first type of nafs and the sign that a person has this type of nafs is that they sin willingly, blatantly, remorselessly, in any way that they ever want. And if we think about it, in many places in the west, this concept is actually glorified because people say ”you should do whatever makes you happy, do whatever pleases you, do whatever your heart desires”. They may glamorize that by saying that it’s the heart but actually there are many people, whether in east or west, even muslims now, that are doing what our passion desires. So that means that we have a nafs-ul-ammarah. 2. Second type of nafs is known as nafs-ul-lawwamah. Lawwamah, lawwam, it’s the same type of word as ammar and Allah Almighty has mentioned this in Quran: وَلَا أُقْسِمُ بِالنَّفْسِ اللَّوَّامَةِ [75:2] Lawwam here means to self incriminate, to self reproach, to have blame, to do mulamat of oneself. So, this is that nafs that does sometimes bring a person to do sin, but then that nafs self incriminates itself, it reproaches itself, it feels bad, it feels guilty. And then this guilt is supposed to increase so much so then the person leaves those sins because they feel so guilty about them. So, the sign of this is precisely that the person has such a nafs that when they commit a sin they feel remorse, regret, they feel guilt, they feel shame, they feel embarrassment, they wish they could take it back, they wish they never did it, they may even intend at that moment never to do that again. So, they are fighting a battle with their nafs. Sometimes they make sin and sometimes they are able to stay away from sin. 3. The third way this word has been used in the Quran-e-Kareem is nafs-ul-mutmainnah. يَا أَيَّتُهَا النَّفْسُ الْمُطْمَئِنَّةُ ارْجِعِي إِلَى رَبِّكِ رَاضِيَةً مَرْضِيَّةً [89:27-28] To the righteous it will be said “oh reassured soul, return to your Lord well pleased, and pleasing to Him” So, Allah Almighty addresses the mutma’in nafs. And mutma’in here means two things. a) Number one is that they are mutma’in, they are content with the hukm of Allah Almighty, there is nothing else that makes them happy. So, this person is also doing what makes them happy. But this person has been molded and trained and disciplined it in such a way, that the only thing that makes it happy, that gives it solace, the only thing that it ismutma’in on, that it is content with, is what Allah Almighty is please with, what Allah Almighty is content with. So, it’s heart’s content lies in that which Allah Almighty is happy and pleased with. b) Second meaning of mutma’in is that has reached a state of serenity. The serene, contented, tranquility, at peace nafs. And obviously, the peace here means that it has aman, itminan from doing sin and also aman and itminan from desiring sin. It has no unlawful desires. It has desires, that is what the nafs does, but it only desires good things. The sign of this is exactly what we just mentioned that this person, not only do they not do sin, they no longer desire sin. That faculty, that part of their humanity that desires, only and only desires things that Allah Almighty views as desirable and has stopped desiring those things that Allah Almighty has labeled as undesirable. So, these are the three types of nafs. Nafs-ul-Ammarah, Nafs-ul-Lawwamah and Nafs-ul-Mutmainnah. CII talk delivered by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed. 18-11-10 [Question 1 of 3] zainabacademy.org

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher AssalamoAlaikum, My problem is that a couple of days before bleeding starts, I start having serious mood swings. I go into this phase of severe depression, extreme tiredness and laziness, and pick fights with everyone. It gets so bad that often I end up yelling and it causes severe dents in my relationships. It seems like no matter how much I try, I just am unable to control my anger. Please let me know if there are any duaas I can make for my temper to not rise and to prevent such situations. JazakAllah Khair. Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful. Dear Sister, I pray this message finds you in good health and spirits. If you are experiencing severe depression and serious mood swings, then you should consult a physician, who may prescribe medication, or offer some suggestions for altering your behavior. If you find that you only experience these symptoms right before menstruation, after which they disappear, then there are several approaches you can take. Keep in mind that each woman’s PMS is different. Therefore, what works for some women may not work for everyone. 1. First, dua is a very powerful weapon. There are several duas you can make for peace of mind and healing. Please see the following: Can you tell me a dua to recite for restlessness? http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?id=8621 Prophetic Supplications for Healing http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=2945&CATE=105 2. Controlling anger: The Prophet, peace be upon him, gave us many helpful tips for controlling anger, such as performing ablution, seeking refuge in Allah from shaitan, and holding our tongues. He said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.” Do certain people or situations aggravate you? If so, why don’t you avoid them for those couple days? If you can’t, then resolve to modify your reaction to them. Take a deep breath and force yourself to wait for at least 30 seconds before speaking. Try to defuse the situation with humor. Women are likely to understand what you’re going through. Male family members might not be as sympathetic, but you can still let them know that it’s not personal. Give yourself an incentive to behave. Why not give yourself a small treat if you manage to get through PMS without losing your temper? Also, remember that there are ways to cope with PMS, such as maintaining a healthy and balanced diet, exercising regularly, drinking lots of water, calming down with meditation, prayer, and dhikr, and talking to your family and friends about what you’re going through. Finally, please see these articles on SunniPath: Dealing with anger http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=3295&CATE=17 And Allah knows best.

Loq (laughing out quietly) thats funny, I'll leave you two to fight it out...

Question When I tell my non-believer friends what girls cant practice polyandry while guys can practice polygny, I find it hard explaining it to them why Allah has programmed women to not be able to have multiple husbands…. When I tell my non-believer friends what girls cant practice polyandry while guys can practice polygny, I find it hard explaining it to them why Allah has programmed women to not be able to have multiple husbands. The insinuation here is, if it is not the religion that is sexist, it is your Creator who has made it biologically hard for your women to have more husbands. They argue, there are many women who have multiple boyfriends, and live happily. It should be the girl’s prerogative whether or not to have multiple husbands, even if it may not necessarily be beneficial for her. But if the right has been given to man, women should get it too. The same inequality problem arises with testifying. Two women against one man’s witness. The argument put forward is women are physically and mentally weaker. But we know there are significant exceptions in the modern world, and if women would have been allowed to build muscular body in gym, etc they too have just as much or more or less the same mental or physical strength to carry normal tasks. If women’s periods are such a big deal, then how can you the religion generalize that men would not be falling sick either. Many men fall sick with flu, cold, etc. but in some parts of the world more than other, but that does not mean you take away the rights of doing something they are probably” capable of. The question really is, maybe its hard for some women, maybe other women find it not so hard, but why the ruling only for women to not marry more than one, or carry additional burden. There are many men who would find it hard dealing with mental stress and physical pains too in general life, but why did the religion generalize? It is extremely hard finding a rational answer to the non-believer friends. Answer In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh Before proceeding, it should be noted that it is difficult, rather impossible, to be rational with irrational and unreasonable beings; not to mention being it extremely detrimental to one’s Imān to maintain bonds of friendship with such people. Their obstinacy in rejecting the most rational, cogent and soundest of arguments will lead you to frustration, uncertainty and questioning in your own Imān. If your “friends” are christians or jews, they should already understand the impermissibility, innate contemptibility and irrationality of polyandry. If they are atheists, which can be deduced from statements such as “if it is not the religion that is sexist, it is your Creator who has made it biologically hard for your women to have more husbands,” how could it be expected of them to understand the rationale of the impermissibility of polyandry when they have failed or rather, chosen to fail to recognize the existence of their Creator? If they agree that women have been created and divinely programmed in such a way that inhibits polyandry, it would then be an exercise in futility to question why Allah chose to do so. What right does the feeble creation have to ask the sublime Creator why He created something in a certain way? As Muslims, we submit in totality to the will and order of Allah Ta‘ālā. We do not weigh the commands and dictates of the religion on the scales of our limited and scanty logic. Allah Ta‘ālā is Al-Hakīm (the Most-Wise) and His decrees are filled with wisdom and reason whether people can perceive them or not. We are not bound to understand and comprehend every order and decree of Allah; we are merely bound to submit our will to the will of Allah. Furthermore, it seems as if such people want free reign and an unlimited license to fulfill all their lusts and desires. This can be understood from statements like, “there are many women who have multiple boyfriends, and live happily. It should be the girl’s prerogative whether or not to have multiple husbands, even if it may not necessarily be beneficial for her.” Any rationale or creed that impedes this freedom and liberty is considered oppressive, illogical, sexist and retrogressive. Allah Ta’ala mentions in the Holy Quran, ﴿ أَرَأَيْتَ مَنِ اتَّخَذَ إِلَهَهُ هَوَاهُ ﴾ “Have you not seen that person who has taken his desires as his God?” (25:43) Such people only follow the dictates of their passions. If their passions and desires decree to have illicit sexual relations with multiple partners in or out of wedlock, they do not hesitate to fulfill it. They submit wholeheartedly to such indulgent desires and then claim that any belief that discourages and prohibits such immorality as being sexist and unequal. Instead of worshipping Allah and fulfilling His commands, they want Allah to fulfill all of their whims and fancies. Regarding such people, Allah Ta’ala states, ﴿ أَمْ تَحْسَبُ أَنَّ أَكْثَرَهُمْ يَسْمَعُونَ أَوْ يَعْقِلُونَ إِنْ هُمْ إِلَّا كَالْأَنْعَامِ بَلْ هُمْ أَضَلُّ سَبِيلًا ﴾ Or do you suppose that most of them listen or understand? They are merely like cattle; nay, rather they are even farther astray from the (right) path.” (25:44) They have been blinded by their lusts and desires. They merely wish to lead an animalistic and bestial existence and do not wish to see the truth or to listen to any form of logic or reason. Allah Ta’ala mentions in another verse, ﴿ وَمَثَلُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا كَمَثَلِ الَّذِي يَنْعِقُ بِمَا لَا يَسْمَعُ إِلَّا دُعَاءً وَنِدَاءً صُمٌّ بُكْمٌ عُمْيٌ فَهُمْ لَا يَعْقِلُونَ ﴾ “The semblance of those who disbelieve is like a person shouting at an animal that hears nothing but a call and cry; they are deaf, dumb and blind, so they do not understand” (2:171) Despite the fact that such people will never desire to understand the logic and rationale of the iniquity of polyandry, we will enumerate a few points of consideration by way of example regarding its absurdity: 1. If women were permitted to enter into polyandrous marriages, the lineage of children born from such marriages will be unascertainable. If a woman had four husbands, the child born to this woman could belong to any one of the four husbands. This would have serious psychological implications on the child. Furthermore, such relationships will have serious consequences on the inheritance rights of these children. You should ask the very “friends” who promote polyandry how they would feel if their own mother was involved in such a relationship. How would they feel growing up in an environment where they were not sure who their father was or how they would feel knowing that their mother was a woman passed from man to man in a polyandrous marriage? Such relationship would actually initiate the dissolution of the family unit, which is the basis for any productive and stable society. 2. Logically, there can be only a one-sided polygamous marriage – if both polygamy and polyandry were permitted, it will lead to a degeneration of the institution of marriage. If men were permitted to marry four wives and conversely, women were permitted to marry four husbands, what would be the need for instituting a marriage contract? One man would be married to four wives, each of his four wives would be married to three other husbands, and every one of these three other husbands would be married to three other wives. Would demanding such equality in polygamy be rational and logical? Every wife would also be the next man’s wife and every husband would be the next woman’s husband. The whole system of a family unit would collapse and within a single generation or two, the lineage of every child will be unrecognizable. Brothers will unknowingly marry their sisters, uncles would marry their nieces and aunts their nephews etc. This is the result of instituting “equality” in polygamy. 3. Another flaw in polyandry lays in the fact that the wife will become nothing more than an infant factory, which, not to mention, is contrary to what the proponents of feminist equality and empowerment are lobbying. When the first husband desires a child, all other husbands will have to wait for the wife to conceive, deliver and nurse the child. Immediately thereafter, the second husband will demand his turn to father a child, thus the remainder of the husband’s will continue waiting for the same duration. No sooner than the poor woman’s second pregnancy and nursing terminates that the third husband rushes to father his child and so on and so on. The single wife will be on a figurative merry go round, from husband to husband, bearing children every year. She will have no time to tend to her children and their needs because her other husbands will be calling her to father their children on a repetitive cycle of reproduction. Needless to say, this would be extremely detrimental to the health and sanity of the mother as well as the upbringing of her children. How will the mother be able to fulfill the rights of each husband and his children separately? She will have to wander from house to house to give her motherly attention to one set of children at the neglect and detriment of the others. Otherwise, she will have to house all of the children from the various husbands by her whereby the husbands take turns to visit their children. Does such a system seem reasonable or sustainable? Moreover, how is it expected of the other husbands to restrain their sexual urges for so many years whilst the wife is pregnant with the other husband’s baby? Are we then to permit the wife to be intimate with all the other husbands whilst she is pregnant with one husband’s baby? What type of morality would such iniquity portray in the human race? Moreover, it is obvious that the husband will not be able to endure three years of patience before being intimate with his wife again, thus, he will engage in other promiscuous affairs. The list of absurdities and irrationalities can go on; thus, for the sake of brevity, we will suffice with the above-mentioned points. In regards to the claim of inequality between the witnessing of men and women, it is also unsound and contrary to the physical and psychological make-up of the human body. How can it be considered as inequality when the two, men and women, constitute completely dissimilar species and entities? Inequality would only arise if there were a disparity of rights concerning the same species of individuals. For example, if a father favors one son over another, this will be inequality since the sons are of the same genus. On the contrary, if the father favors his own son over his nephew, could this be considered inequality? If any impartial and unbiased medical expert is consulted, he / she will attest to the fact that men and women are different, physically and psychologically. Any neurologist will attest to the fact that the brain of a woman functions differently from that of a man. Consider the following research conducted by the neurobiological researchers of the University of California: “Larry Cahill, an associate professor of neurobiology and behavior, and Lisa Kilpatrick, a former postdoctoral fellow in his laboratory, have found that the amygdala, an almond-shaped structure found on both sides of the brain, behaves very differently in males and females while the subjects are at rest. In men, the right amygdala is more active and shows more connections with other regions of the brain, even when there is no outside stimulus. Conversely, in women, the left amygdala is more connected with other regions of the brain. In addition, the regions of the brain with which the amygdala communicates while a subject is at rest are different in men and women.” “The researchers used Positron Emission Tomography (PET) scans to analyze the brains of 72 healthy, right-handed adults (36 men and 36 women). The subjects were instructed to relax with their eyes closed while being scanned. When the scans were later studied, researchers found that not only was there a difference between the men and women as to which hemisphere’s amygdala was more active, but also that the regions of the brain that the amygdala “talked” with were also quite different. In men, the right-hemisphere amygdala showed more connectivity with brain regions such as the visual cortex and the striatum. In contrast, the left amygdala in women was more connected to regions such as the insular cortex and the hypothalamus. The finding led to an unexpected discovery: Many brain areas communicating with the amygdala in men are engaged with and responding to the external environment. For example, the visual cortex is responsible for vision, while the striatum coordinates motor actions. Conversely, many regions connected to the left-hemisphere amygdala in women control aspects of the environment within the body. Both the insular cortex and the hypothalamus, for example, receive strong input from the sensors inside the body.” “… Cahill has led the way in exploring gender-related differences in the brain. In a 2001 study, he showed that the sexes use different sides of their brains to process and store long-term memories. In another study in 2002, he demonstrated how a particular drug, propranolol, can block memory differently in men and women.” (http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/article/8011) In another neurological article entitled, ‘Men and Women Really Do Think Differently’ Bjorn Carey mentions; “Psychology professor Richard Haier of the University of California, Irvine led the research along with colleagues from the University of New Mexico. Their findings show that in general, men have nearly 6.5 times the amount of gray matter related to general intelligence compared with women, whereas women have nearly 10 times the amount of white matter related to intelligence compared to men.” “In human brains, gray matter represents information processing centers, whereas white matter works to network these processing centers. The results from this study may help explain why men and women excel at different types of tasks, said co-author and neuropsychologist Rex Jung of the University of New Mexico. For example, men tend to do better with tasks requiring more localized processing, such as mathematics, Jung said, while women are better at integrating and assimilating information from distributed gray-matter regions of the brain, which aids language skills.” To lend further support on how the disproportion of grey and white matter between men and women affect the disparity and inequality of intrinsic sensory capabilities between men and women, which generally forms the basis of witnessing, the following passage will prove beneficial; · Grey matter – closely packed neuron cell bodies form the grey matter of the brain. The grey matter includes regions of the brain involved in muscle control, sensory perceptions, such as seeing and hearing, memory, emotions and speech. · White matter – neuronal tissue containing mainly long, myelinated axons , is known as white matter or the diencephalon. Situated between the brainstem and cerebellum, the white matter consists of structures at the core of the brain such as the thalamus and hypothalamus . The nuclei of the white matter are involved in the relay of sensory information from the rest of the body to the cerebral cortex, as well as in the regulation of autonomic (unconscious) functions such as body temperature, heart rate and blood pressure. Certain nuclei within the white matter are involved in the expression of emotions, the release of hormones from the pituitary gland, and in the regulation of food and water intake. These nuclei are generally considered part of the limbic system . (http://www.brainexplorer.org/brain_atlas/Brainatlas_index.shtml) As the above articles mention, the regions of the brain involved in sensory perceptions, such as seeing, hearing and memory, is approximately 6.5 times greater in men. Thus, neurobiology in its latest researches conducted by the world’s best researches attest to the fact that men make stronger and more reliable witnesses than women due to their greater sensory perception. This ought to serve as lucid testimony to the authenticity of the message of Islam. Allah Ta’ala had revealed the Holy Quran over 1400 years ago alluding to such neurobiological facts which the scientists are only uncovering today. As Muslims, we might not have known of the facts of this new research, but our faith and conviction in the Holy Quran has driven us to accept the word of Allah as true even before the discoveries of such studies. Therefore, we are not surprised by such research, but it should strengthen our conviction. This research also lends credence to the undeniable fact that women are different from men. Would it be logical to accept two separate beings as being equal when in fact that are completely different from one another? Aristotle, the famous Greek philosopher duly mentioned, “The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.” In conclusion, it should be noted that being disparate does not necessitate one specie being better than the other. As previously stated, equality only applies to homogenous items of the same species. On the contrary, male chauvinists claim that men are superior and women are inferior. The feminists claim that women are exacts equals of men. In reality, both groups are wrong in their radical views. The correct position is that men and women are completely separate heterogeneous creations of Allah that complement one another in their dissimilarities. This phenomenon is witnessed on a daily basis throughout the creation of Allah Ta’ala for example, the sun and the moon, despite their dissimilarity, work in perfect congruity and union. The sun, in its grandeur, has one specific role to play whilst the moon, in its radiance, has a reciprocally different role. It would be absurd and irrational for the moon to cry of inequality and demand to be given the same function and position of the sun. Similarly, it would be illogical for the sun to make a similar demand. When the sun fulfills his function and the moon hers, both entities will beautifully complement one another in a balanced harmony enabling the system of the universe to endure. On the contrary, if one tries to compete for the function of the other, then the systematic celestial organization will lead to perdition. The same applies in the case of men, women, and all heterogeneous creations for that matter. And Allah knows best Wassalam Ml. Yusuf bin Yaqub and Ml. Ismail Moosa, Students Darul Iftaa Checked and Approved by: Mufti Ebrahim Desai Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah

Question "Why women cannot marry two man at the same time like Men can do in Islam." This was a question that was asked to me by a Bhuddist friend of mine and I was not able to clarify So can you explain me why ? Answer In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. We believe that Allāh ﷻ is a unique, perfect, infinite being who is transcendent over space and time. Any being that is defect can never be God. As such, we Muslims firmly belief that every command of our Creator reflects wisdom. As Muslims, we are therefore more concerned about acting upon those commands to draw closer to the infinite Mercy of Allāh ﷻ than we are concerned about trying to understand the underlying wisdom behind them. The fact is that there are so many things that we don’t comprehend. For example, why are we to pray five times a day instead of four times or six times? Why did Allāh ﷻ choose the Arabic language to reveal the Quran? Why do certain chapters in the Quran start with letters, such as alif laam meem? Why did Allāh ﷻ prohibit the consumption of pig? Scholars in the past, present and future will try to explore the underlying wisdom behind these facts, but nobody can claim to know with 100% certainty what the reason is behind these commands. We are not even able to understand our womenfolk, even if we have been living with them for 20 years, why they do what they do. How on earth are we then to encompass the various exotic reasons of a being that is infinite, that we can’t see and can’t hear? The principle matter that needs to be understood is that if a person accepts the existence of Allāh ﷻ, then automatically he will go on to the next stage, the stage of worship. If a person does not accept the existence of Allāh ﷻ, then why would he bother to accept the wisdom behind any of his commands? As such, one should be careful not to be wasting his time in debating side issues, when the big issue (e.g. the singular existence of our Creator) is still under complete denial. Nevertheless, for his personal information, he may consider reading the following article I wrote about the subject matter. The primary objective of the creation, which includes Mankind as a whole, is to exemplify the greatness of God. As Mankind, we are to worship Allāh ﷻ. This worship extends beyond the perimeters of prayers to include every facet of our lives. Gender exemplifies this diversity by allowing the existence of various social structures that in turn are governed by the various laws of Shariah. Upholding these laws is the essence of worship of our Creator as this is by definition a manifestation of obedience and submission towards the Divine will of God. As man and woman, we are all equal to Allāh ﷻ. This equality means that legislation and judgment in this life and the hereafter is on the same yardstick. Just like punitive laws apply to men, likewise they apply to women. Just like men are able to engage in economic activity, likewise women are allowed to do so. Just like men are required to pray, fast and go for Hajj, likewise women are required to adhere to all these commands. This is a legislative and spiritual equality, which cannot and should not abrogate the physical differences we have. We did not choose our nature; we rather have been created with these inherent differences. Religion is supposed to be a mercy, which only will manifest itself in the scenario where religion accepts and even embraces this human nature. A religion from a perfect being requires for that perfection to be reflected in itself. As such, a perfect religion is to accommodate for the welfare of the people at large. Any religion that fails to do so tends to be guilty of restricting the infinite mercy of the Creator to a select group of people only. When the legislation of our Shariah ought to reflect these differences, it therefore follows that one of the essential matters pertaining to gender in Islām is outward distinction. Men are to grow a beard; women are to grow their hair. Women bear children, men protect their families. These physical differences give rise to diversity in the social interplay of the different genders as each and every law is to reflect the innate nature, what we call fitrah, of a person. These are codified social structures that intent to be in their very essence to be complementary. Man and woman are thus brought together under the social institute of Marriage that brings both individuals in harmony to form part of a higher system of worship. It is for this reason that the Messenger of Allāh ﷻ stated that: “Marriage is the perfection of one’s faith.”Allāh ﷻ in his wisdom has chosen men to be the caretakers of the family. The 4th chapter of the Quran, The Chapter of Women states: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. “ This verse underscores that men have been tasked with an extra responsibility. As this verse states, men are socially expected to financially support their family. This social distinction basically means that men are in a position of leadership whereas women are in a position of obedience to that leadership. The verse continues: “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard.” This is a complementary relationship, as opposed to a co-operative relationship, that ensures the correct functioning of the nuclear family, both internally and externally. It should be noted that there is a lot of wisdom for deciding the position of leadership on a matter that is beyond the control of the parties involved, namely gender, instead of making it subject to an arbitrary choice. In the latter case there will always be scope for doubt that may lead to social rife. When the responsibility of leadership is dependent on gender instead, it will be easier for both parties involved to accept the distribution of the roles concerned. Other biological factors, such as race, even though impartial, are not universal enough to provide a realistic solution to the problem involved. Especially when it comes to marriage, as inter-racial marriages historically speaking is out of the norm. Because of this particular orientation of gender roles within a family structure, it therefore implies that Islâm can accommodate for polygyny as opposed to polyandry. When the husband is to bear responsibility of leadership of the family, it logically follows that polyandry would undermine this position, leading to conflict and a kind of paralysis. Due to the various dynamic needs of individuals, a family cannot be lead by compromise. One husband wants to relocate to a new area and the other husband wants to remain, obviously such a relationship is impractical. Polyandry as a system to accommodate people worldwide at all times is doomed to fail. It is true that certain companies like Samsung are lead by three CEO’s, but such co-operative structures are rather the exception than the norm. Since Islâm is to reflect human nature, the various gender roles and the legislation that governs them is to be in accordance as to what generally will work, not what exceptionally might work. A ship is to be sailed by one captain only, not two. There is also the component of lineage. In the current system that we exist in, it is our natural disposition, our fitrah to only truly care for our own children. As humans we can sympathize with the welfare of other children and we can even feel sorry for the hard time a family has to go through when bereaved of their child in crime, drugs, terminal disease or accident. However, the eye of the beholder can never compare to the tearing eye of the one involved. This fitrah on our part makes it impractical for a non-parent to look after someone’s child. Polyandry ultimately leads to an obscuration of the lineage of a child. Children are the future of society, and for them to become an asset, they need to be nurtured in an environment of love. An environment where there are reasonable grounds to doubt as to which husband the child belongs to, is not stable enough to sustain the love and care required. DNA will not provide a solution either, as a World Religion is to accommodate for all people, past, present and future. On top of that, DNA tests are subject to human inefficiencies, giving scope for error. As such, the only thing that can be resorted to is the word of the mother as to whom the actual child belongs to. Again this is arbitrary, leading to inheritance disputes. Lastly, there is the component of rebellion. It is human nature on part of man that he simply cannot tolerate someone else having conjugal relationships with his wife. In the case of polygyny, the jealousy of a woman is curbed by the leadership of her husband. In polyandry however, both men are on equal footing. As has been noted above, besides gender any other impartial variable available is absent which gives rise to a vacuum ready to be filled with adversity. When women fight, they pull each other’s hair. When men fight, they go to war. Since polygyny does not have to deal with these sets of problems, our Shariah has allowed it so as to historically speaking, guide different people and diverse societies through various challenges they may be facing, such as a shortage of men available for monogamous marriage, in a way that promotes social stability instead and avoids social adversity. Also note that even fraternal polyandry would be impractical, as in Islām we don’t even permit sororal polygyny (e.g. the wives are sisters). If a marriage breaks apart, the parties involved tend to be embittered. As close relatives, we are not allowed to break our family ties which are clearly endangered in a case of divorce in a fraternal polyandry or a sororal polygyny. The purpose of this small treatise is not to argue that polyandry as a system is impossible to implement. The purpose is to rather argue that in the current framework of our human nature, there is a plausible scope to implement polygyny as opposed to polyandry. Next, when polygyny is better than polyandry, it does not make sense to singularly legislate polyandry, nor to legislate both of them at the same time. The whole purpose of marriage is to create social order, which is defeated in the chaos resultant from the co-existence of both institutes of marriage. If one wants to advocate the existence of both institutes, then rather have no marriage at all. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Khalil Johnson Student Darul Iftaa Canada Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai

MashaAllah! So perhaps you can edit the post before you get banned or something : )