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Posts posted by FatimaNadira

  1. Reason to Forgive


    Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “He


    who does not show mercy to people, Allah also does


    not show mercy to him.” [bukhari]



    When we want to be mean to somebody or punish


    them, we are able to give ourselves a hundred


    justifications for it. This hadith gives us one huge


    compelling reason to put our anger and meanness


    aside, and practice forgiveness and gentleness


    instead. No one can do without Allah's mercy, so


    don't shut the door of goodness on yourself by being


    petty with others. It's not worth it!





    Your Sister فاطمة نادرة (Nadira)

    • Like 1
  2. The Role of the Mother



    A deep love for her children✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿

    A mother’s love is unmatched. Whether young or old, healthy or handicapped, troublesome or obedient, the child is still beloved to the mother. This love may be displayed in various forms. Sometimes children misinterpret scoldings and rebukes to be a sign of lack of love. It is important to assure the child that he is always loved, even when his behavior warrants disciplinary measures. Such a child becomes confident and happy, and will never seek solace elsewhere. The love of the mother becomes a source of happiness and peace at home. Children feel attached to the home because of the mother.


    Sacrifice and dedication✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿

    A mother gives up a great deal for the sake of the child. She gives up her time, her sleep, her pleasures etc. to ensure that the child is all right. As Imam Zaynul ‘Abidin(a) says in his book Risalatul Huquq (mentioned earlier), nobody comes even close to doing what a mother does for her child. That is why he says that it is only with help of the Almighty that one can thank the mother for all her sacrifice and efforts.

    A good mother places the needs of the child, both physical and emotional needs, first. This is an important point to keep in mind, especially in these modern times. Women today are deluded by society into making their own careers and jobs more important than their homes. The home will always remain a woman’s most valuable work and that may require all types of sacrifices. It is not really a sacrifice, but is an investment which will reap great dividends.


    Protection and security✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿

    A mother always tries to safeguard the child from danger and difficulties. However some mothers tend to be over protective. It is wise for the child to learn to face some problems in life, according to his age and circumstances. A coddled child will be unable to face the realities of the world when he grows up, a world which will not be as considerate of him as his mother.


    A window of the child to the world✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿

    When a baby is born, he is totally unaware of the outside world. The mother plays an important part in introducing him to the world. The outlook that the child will form towards life depends a lot on the mother. His attitude, his views - religious or otherwise- his perspective on life and its goals, will all be gained from her. Eventually he will mature and perhaps form his own changed views, but the initial years and what he learns in them will always have a lasting impression on his mind.


    Setting clear goals✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿

    A mother has to know what she expects from her children, and then explain that to them. It is not enough to want good children. The children must know what exactly is expected from them, and what the mother wants them to do. Sometimes a mother tells the child to lay the table properly. Because it has not been explained to the child what properly means, he does it the way he thinks it right. The child may consequently be blamed for being sloppy, lazy etc. for not setting the table right. The frustration and heartache could have been avoided if the child knew exactly what was expected from him, rather than a vague order to lay the table. The same can be applied to all chores, behavior with others, academic achievements etc. The mother must have definite goals of what she wants, and make them clear.


    Encourage children according to their potential✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿

    Each child comes with his own distinctive potential. The Holy Prophet (s) has said: Human beings are like mines of gold and silver. Children have abilities that could lead to great achievements. Some show skill and interest in a certain area, while others prefer a different one. Apart from not trying to compare children with one another, a good mother tries to bring out the best in each child. She makes the child develop his skills in whatever area he is good at, as well as remedy the weakness in each child. If one child is very shy, for example, the mother should not demand that he socialize and interact with others the way his siblings do. Some mothers unwittingly put their children through a great deal of embarrassment and humiliation. The child must be taught to overcome his shyness. Some books on shyness may help. Or the mother could give practical suggestions of what the child could talk about to others. A mother’s gentle guidance can remedy many a flaw and weakness in the character of the child.


    Fortunate is the person whose mother is chaste and virtuous. ✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿

    Imam Ja`far as-Sadiq (a)


    Each one of you is a guardian (shepherd), and each one of you is responsible for his charges . . . so the man is a guardian over his family, and is responsible for them. A woman is a guardian over the family of her husband and his children, and she is responsible for them. ✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿

    Prophet (sallallahu alahi wasallam)



    فاطمة نادرة (Nadira)



  3. Show Your Children You Love Them



    It goes without saying that most parents love their children dearly. It is a natural instinct placed by the Almighty into the heart of all parents. This love for children is a sign of the wisdom of Allah, for without it no parent would have borne all the pains and troubles of raising a child. However, many parents think that children know, without being told, that parents love them. They do not realise that children need to be reassured constantly.


    Ayesha (May Allah be pleased with her) narrated that once a villager came to the Prophet and asked him, “Do you kiss young children? We do not kiss them.” The Prophet said,

    “What can i do about it? Allah has removed the essence of mercy from your heart.”✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿



    The effects of love must be evident in the speech and behaviour of the parents. Children do not have the wisdom and insight of adults to realise that even punishments and reproaches are signs of love. They often perceive the actions of the parents as a proof of the lack of love. It is thus very important to display love to the child, or at least inform him about it in subtle ways.


    The display of love varies with the age and level of the child. It is most important at the very young age when children need to be cuddled and hugged. For a baby, physical display of love is necessary for positive growth and development. All through the toddler years physical affection remains the most prominent way of displaying love.


    In another Haddith narrated in Bukhari, Muslim, Abu dawood and Ahmad, Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Messenger of Allah kissed Sayyidina Hasan bin Ali (his grandson). Aqra’bin Habis al-Tameemi who was sitting next to him said, “I have ten children and i have never kissed any of them.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) looked at him and said,

    “He who does not show mercy is not shown mercy.”✿´´¯`•.¸¸.✿


    As the child grows, this changes to less direct ways of showing affection. The occasional physical touch is still necessary, but is not the main way of showing love. Now the child has various needs and desires. To be considerate of his desires, talking to him constantly, reading to him, taking interest in his schoolwork etc. are all part of love. Love shows its bright face in the form of a smile, a tender tone, a patient ear, etc. A parent’s full attention tells the child he is loved enough to warrant it.


    The older child has friends who are every important to him. To give importance to his friends is a good way of displaying love for him. Generally speaking, when a parent gives positive attention to the child, apart from the regular chores of bathing, feeding, etc. the child understands that he is loved.



    فاطمة نادرة (Nadira)

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