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wa'alaykumus salaam haya.

 

The husband decides and this is a shar'ee ruling. Ulama advice husbands to let their wives visit and not to stop them visiting unnecessarily. However if the husband felt that her deen is compromised or if he has other reasons he can stop her.

 

Q. can a husband stop his wife from visiting her parents?even if he says he has an islamic reason like they watch Tv at the hse our the are non muslim (for example)

A.  In principle, if the parents are unable to visit their daughters at her husband's house, then it is advisable for the husband to allow his wife to visit her parents according to a period that is mutually agreed upon. If the parents are not pious, then the husband should counsel his wife in regards to abstaining from the wrongdoing and taking practical steps in rectifying the situation. The wife should also ponder and devise a plan, in regards to correcting the situation. If the parents are unable to visit their daughter at her husband's house, then the wife has the right to visit her parent to the extent of the general custom of visiting. (Fathul Qadeer vol.3 pg.335)

 

According to the Shaafi'ee Madhab, the husband also has the right to prevent his wife from visiting her parent?s house. However, if the parents are ill, then it is Makrooh to prevent her from visiting them. (al-Mufassal fee Ahkaamil Mar?ati vol.7 pg.294)

 

 

 

Imam al-Mawsili (may Allah have mercy on him) states in al-Ikhtiyar:

“The husband has a right to prevent his wife’s family members to visit her in his house (for the house belongs to him). However, he should not stop them from talking to her and looking at her (at any time, for in there will be severing of ties…It is said: He should not prevent her from visiting her parents, and another opinion states, he can do so). He cannot prevent her parents from visiting her once a week, and other family members once a year.” (al-Ikhtiyar li Ta’lil al-Mukhtar, 3/228)

 

Allama Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) states:

“The husband should not prevent his wife from leaving to visit her parents once a week if they are not able to visit her…It is related from Imam Abu Yusuf that her leaving to visit her parents is pre-conditional to them being unable to visit her.” (Radd al-Muhtar, 2/664)

 

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:sl:

 

I've been sick since last week, though now  :alhamd:  I'm able enough to walk and attend classes, alhamdulillah for everything. Duas requested.


During my illness I got ajeeb thoughts of death, thoughts of different people who had been died in front of me were coming to my mind. I think that's not depression, but just reality we forget it but hardships remind us that this world isn't our home. I hope it's not about getting despair, but just reality, as we really don't know in which state we would die and we don't know what we'd face after death so we should let ourselves feel whatever we feel about death. May Allah have mercy upon us. Ameen.
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What a beautiful reminder :)

 

JazakAllahu Khayran

 

 

 

:sl:

 

I've been sick since last week, though now :alhamd: I'm able enough to walk and attend classes, alhamdulillah for everything. Duas requested.

 

 

During my illness I got ajeeb thoughts of death, thoughts of different people who had been died in front of me were coming to my mind. I think that's not depression, but just reality we forget it but hardships remind us that this world isn't our home. I hope it's not about getting despair, but just reality, as we really don't know in which state we would die and we don't know what we'd face after death so we should let ourselves feel whatever we feel about death. May Allah have mercy upon us. Ameen.

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As salamu alaikum respected members

 

I need help for my essay and i would like to ask all of you that what are the gift giving traditions in your countries? Since this a international site. I believe you all have intresting facts about gift giving traditions in your countries .

 

JazakAllahu Khayran

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As salamu alaikum respected members

 

I need help for my essay and i would like to ask all of you that what are the gift giving traditions in your countries? Since this a international site. I believe you all have intresting facts about gift giving traditions in your countries .

 

JazakAllahu Khayran

Retracted

Edited by Haya
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:wasalam:

 

sis Aisha I can't say about others but I can only share with you my experience. I gave and received different things as gifts e.g. sweets, dresses, bags, books etc. that might be same in yours and mine country I think.

 

When my friends get angry I give them something that make them happy e.g. dairymilk chocolate, ice cream, biryani, shami kabab or anything I feel they love to eat.

 

It's the habit of my father to give money to his children to coax us when anyone is sad or get angry with him.

 

When I got A+ grade in my metric exams I received money with congratulations from the elders of my family members.

 

When anyone falls ill then different family members visit him/her after inquiring his/her health they give some fruits and money. Not sure if that's counted as giving gift, but its a custom in my family.

 

A while back I gave friendship cards to my best friends, I made paintings on different colored chart, and did some decoration with ribbon, shining colors, and on mirror I wrote their names with glitter.

 

On Eid-days different things are given that I think would be same as in your country e.g. clothes, bangles, Hina, jewellery, Eid cards, sweets or money etc. as an eidi.

 

Let me think if there's anything left....

 

Does it answer your question?

Sis Haya, yes these are good ideas for my essay. U do this without expecting something from them. Well it didnt quite answer my question cos i was excepting something like, we give gifts to someone when they are married etc but actually you gaved me the idea, im going to argue about :) 

 

I think aishazanap is looking for gift giving traditions in different countries....the only ones i can think of are non Muslim traditions/customs at Christmas, birthdays, valentines etc.

hmm i understand ablam. To be honest i believe that we are loosing our culture values. When it comes to Turkey there is not much thing to say cos most of the gift giving customs are birthdays or valentine and so on. We have some but maybe after some time it will go too. Some gift giving traditions we have in Turkey comes from İslam. Like we have Ashura, Eid. This is rare but some parts of Turkey still do this, they give to the wife's family some amount of money. i think its called dowry. 

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:sl:

 

I think aishazanap is looking for gift giving traditions in different countries....the only ones i can think of are non Muslim traditions/customs at Christmas, birthdays, valentines etc.

 

Wouldn't it be sin if she writes about these non-Muslims traditions in her essay? 

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:sl:

 

I've been sick since last week, though now  :alhamd:  I'm able enough to walk and attend classes, alhamdulillah for everything. Duas requested.

During my illness I got ajeeb thoughts of death, thoughts of different people who had been died in front of me were coming to my mind. I think that's not depression, but just reality we forget it but hardships remind us that this world isn't our home. I hope it's not about getting despair, but just reality, as we really don't know in which state we would die and we don't know what we'd face after death so we should let ourselves feel whatever we feel about death. May Allah have mercy upon us. Ameen.

 

 

:wasalam:

 

Ameen.

 

Alhamdulillah, glad  you are feeling better sis.

 

Excellent reminder about the importance of remembering death - jazakAllahu khayran. Whether the death of others reminds us or we think of our own inevitable death, it is good. That said, insha'Allah there are a few things we should keep in mind:

 

(1) Balance - remember all the bounties and blessings Allah Ta'aala has given us, and those that we are insha'Allah striving for too.

 

(2) Give shukr for being able to think of death in a positive way - a way that is beneficial for our life and our akhirah - that way, there is no despair insha'Allah.

 

(3) if we are thinking about wanting to die, wishing you were dead, wishing we were never born, etc. and especially if we start planning a way to take our own life (naudhubillah), then it is best to consult both a scholar and a specialist as this is not the type of useful exercise we are advised to do nor is it healthy.

 

From what you've mentioned, it sounds like the useful exercise of remembering death (rather than suicidal thoughts)... just remember to balance it out insha'Allah.

 

Please forgive me if I have said anything wrong, misleading, or hurtful. May Allah Ta'aala forgive me if I have erred. Ameen.

 

Requesting du'aas

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The mashaa'ikh of tasawwuf recommend daily muraaqabah of death.

 

Shaykh Fusus has a vivid post on it here: http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?112070-Moraqaba-MissyB-and-Anyone-Else&p=965367&viewfull=1#post965367

 

Its very beneficial, as daily meditation and pondering upon your inevitable death will open your eyes to your own fragile reality and remove all desire to sin, as well as create an urgency inside you to please Allah.

 

But as Acacia mentioned, there is a big difference between muraaqabah of death and suicidal thoughts. The former brings you close to Allah, while the latter is detrimental to mental (and sometimes even physical) health, and as mentioned, professional help should be sought.

 

Im just mentioning this, as Im sure Sister Maria al-Qibtiyyah was doing the former and NOT the latter.

 

May Allah give us a blessed end and grant us the tawfeeq to utter the kalimah as our last and final words before our soul is taken. Ameen.

Edited by Arslan
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:sl:

 

 

 

Wouldn't it be sin if she writes about these non-Muslims traditions in her essay?

 

Sis haya its out of wonder how is adding non muslim traditions in my essay could be a sin? Unfortunately these practices are very common...

 

Also it would be really good if anyone can post a article about gift giving in islam. İt will be also nice that it is more detailed

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Sis haya its out of wonder how is adding non muslim traditions in my essay could be a sin? Unfortunately these practices are very common...

 

Also it would be really good if anyone can post a article about gift giving in islam. İt will be also nice that it is more detailed

 

I thought so because their traditions are based on shirkia and kufri beliefs. If you write down their traditions but also mention Islamic perspective on this then it'd not be sin I think.

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I thought so because their traditions are based on shirkia and kufri beliefs. If you write down their traditions but also mention Islamic perspective on this then it'd not be sin I think.

 

i wont really write in detail what they do cos these are not original turkish practises but maybe for the into paragraph i can add to it. My essay question is about my culture. Since Turkey is influenced by İslam, mostly it will talk about the islamic perspective but there are other practices in turkey that are non islamic as in weddings, new born child, women golden days etc So my essay will be mixture of İslam influence with non islam influence. Also unfortunately my argument have to supported from texts that my teacher gave... its gonna be hard 

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