Question:

How does a mother bring up the topic of menses to her daughter? Does she prepare her for what is going to happen and introduce the fiqh, or does she wait till she has her menses and then indirectly teach?

Answer:

Girls should generally be taught about menses before it occurs -without introducing technical matters of fiqh. A mother can introduce the subject to her by informing her that a day will come when she will see something called “menses”. She should explain to her what it is and why it happens a sign of her “growing up” and that when it occurs both angels on her right and left will begin to record her actions, thus Allah will have higher expectations of her; that she should pray, fast and wear hijab just like her mother.

The mother must also inform her that she will have to stay away from boys and that Allah does not like her mixing with them. In general the mother needs to implant in her daughter’s mind and heart that seeing menses means a “great change in her life” that will make her a much more important in regards to her relationship with Allah and her religion. This will cause her to think about the coming of “the important day” which she will see as an interesting step in her life.

The mother can also tell her a little bit about it before bed. This should be done randomly and not all at one time. A mother should also inform her that there are instructions that she will need to learn and that she will teach her in the near future.

When she sees menses for the first time she will most likely come running to her mother overwhelmed and excited. At that point the mother should buy her (or already have bought) a little “special” calendar book and tell her to record the days of her menses. This type of teaching allows the girl to have her first responsibility for this “new beginning” she is experiencing. The point of giving her a calendar book and having her record her days of menses is to implant in her mind the importance of being responsible about this issue. The mother should inform her that when she is done bleeding that she should report back to her. When she tells her mother menses is done, the mother should teach her about the signs of indicate that menses is complete, and also teach her that her menses is now a fixed number of days based on the number of days she bled the first time.

The mother should not forget to tell her to keep recording her menses every month and also to report back to her in any case when her blood stops before her fixed number of days or if it passes her fixed number of days. When the girl informs her mother about any of these cases then she should teacher her daughter the rules that apply to each situation such as the basics of what is covered in the Maliki fiqh text al-Akhdari.

(You can listen to the course here and also listen to the course Menses & Postnatal According To The Maliki School).

The mother should tell her to keep record these notes in her little book and she should also help her to do so. Following this type of education (tarbiyyah) will give the mother the ability to teach her daughter how to apply, and understand the general rules of menses without being “technical” until she gets a little older when she can learn from books. During the whole process the mother becomes like a practical guide for her.

It is preferable that menstruation be taught by the mother before the father although if the
father is a single parent then there is no doubt that he will have to teach her himself.

Lastly just as the mother teaches her the rules of menses, she must also teach her about
how to perform a proper ritual washing (ghusl). This is my advice. Allah knows best.

Ustadh Abdus Shakur Brooks

Reviewed and finalized 6/14/2011

This is a six lesson audio course by Ustadh Abdus Shakur Brooks on the topic of menstruation and postnatal bleeding according to the Maliki school, based on two fundamental texts: Al-Akhdari and Al-Izziyah.This course will provide Muslim women with the fundamentals on how to deal with these matters with sound knowledge.

Download the pdf : Menstruation & Postnatal Bleeding In The Maliki School (By Abdus Shakur Brooks)

Part 1 :

Part 2 :

Part 3 :

Part 4 :

Part 5 :

Part 6 :

A claim is made by the famous American Scholar Suhaib Webb on his site as follows:

According to the Maliki school it is disliked to offer congratulations to other faiths during their religious holidays. Thus, it is a permissible act. See Sharh al-Saghir of Sidi Ahmed al-Dardir and Fiqh al-Malikiyyah wa Adilatuhu by Habib Tahir.

Shaykh Abdul-Shakoor Brooks (HA) Al-Maliki asnwers:

Assalamu alaikum in sha Allah all is well.

http://www.islamicteachings.org/forum/index.php?

Someone pointed me to this discussion here.

 

I am Abdus Shakur Brooks.

 

Concerning the point that Sh.Danial mentioned regarding the passage of not accepting a gift from a non-Muslims (outside of their holidays of course) is likely true. Perhaps the statement of Malik is in regards to accepting it based on there being affection or giving for the sake of having something over a Muslim which in that case the matter would stand.

 

I didn't post the article for that last section but rather the first part in which Ibn Al-Hjj discussed the actual issue of celebrating non-Muslim holidays explicitly including gift exchange. The rest of the article was part of the section which I had already translated some time ago randomly. Due to the short notice, I had to put something together quickly due to the confusion and deception that came about, and so commenting on that part went over my head, which I could have left out.

 

One would never think that such a thing like celebrating Christmas would have to be debated amongst the learned but these are the timesI will have to get around to clarifying that point, it might have been one of the reasons many missed the point because they focused on that.

 

Allah knows best.

 

Due to the nature of these times, in the near future I will accompany all posts with a short streaming audio with some commentary helping people to understand the principles applied by the classical scholars whose opinions count. It is double the work, but with all the misapplication of usul going on it seems people need as much understanding as they do documentation since it is hard for people to really comprehend the true nature of the shari'ah while being born and raised in an environment the likes of this world today, even more so for those in the west save a few. These are the times.....

The full refutation of this Modernist position can be read here:

Jazakullah Khairun

Alhumdolillah, Shaykh Mukhtar (HA) who is currently based in Mauritania has agreed to take questions and provide responses dealing with the Fiqh of great Imam of Ahlus-Sunnah Malik Ibn Anas (RA).

Please open a new thread with the appropriate title and be as detailed as possible in your query.

May Allah (SWT) reward you and the Shaykh (HA) with the best of rewards in this world and the next (Ameen).

Jazakulah Khairun