Salah ud Deen's Reversion Story...

[KIWI MUSLIM]

My reversion to the true path - Salah ud Deen

Growing up I really didn't have a whole lot of religion, but I was from a Catholic family. I can remember going to church every now and then, usually on Christmas Eve and maybe a few other special occasions. For my teenage years and my earlier twenties I was really turned-off and even had a strong dislike and even a hatred of religion at the time. I had felt that it was a method of controlling people and manipulating them. I had also had one to many run-ins with Bible thumpers. I'm sure they probably meant well but all they accomplished was my aversion to religion, most specifically Christianity. I really didn't like the methods that they used. I think if they would not have been so overbearing they might have had more success.

The beginning of my interest in religion started when I was twenty-three years old. I had been out of the Navy for a few months and was living in Washington State at my friend’s house. When I found out that the Jeep I had bought from a shipmate was stolen which I returned to the proper owner. Not having the proper transportation to stay in Washington I decided to move to Northern California to live with my Mom. When I left I had only a few boxes of things in a big Ryder truck with bald tires and a bad right-side mirror. Driving down I had decided to take a "short-cut" through Humboldt county so that I could get home quicker. I ended up going up a mountain with tons of snow already on the ground and plenty more coming down at a steady pace. Instead of going slow once I got over the peak of the mountain I kept going about 10-15mph. As I made my way down the mountain, I started to slide and ended up slamming into the side of the mountain, bending the front axle and the left-front rim. I didn't stay there long because I figured with as much snow was on the ground I could continue driving and the front of the truck would just slide along. This worked for about five to ten minutes before I ended up spinning out and ended up facing backwards. Now I really thought I was just stuck and I was going to have to wait for someone to show up and help me out. Instead of waiting I got back into the truck and started driving backwards with the door kicked open so I could see. This time I ended up almost going over the side of the mountain with the only thing stopping me was the snow which had been plowed up earlier that day. Now I was really stuck. There was no way I was going anywhere. I didn't want to sit in the truck because I feared it would fall over the side and, well, I just didn't want to be in it if it went over the side. So I waited and waited freezing and cold. After what seemed like a few hours, with ice in my hair and cold water running down my head I called out to God(swt). I said something like "God (swt), I know that I have been a pretty crappy person and that I have disobeyed you and even hated and spited you. I ask that if you are out there then help me. Help me out of this situation and I will obey you and follow you. I will change myself." After that I just started waiting again. In what seemed like an hour I looked behind me and I thought that I saw light coming up the mountain and sure enough it was, it was an SUV. I have never been so happy to see a gas-guzzling, environment polluting SUV ever before or since. They called a tow-truck for me and all I had to do was wait for it to arrive. While I sat there I thought about God (swt) and the fact that he had answered me when I really needed him. I was happy. When Larry (tow guy, I still remember him vividly) showed up he had to brace his truck because there was so much snow on the ground. After we started heading into town I was talking to him a little and said something like "someone was watching out for me tonight." He agreed and said something in the manner that I should be dead. When I checked into my hotel upon arriving into town I picked up some Christian pamphlets that they had in the office, went to my room and fell asleep.

When I got to my Moms I read the pamphlets and got on the web and went to AudioBible.com. Why did I go here, well I had always found the Bible difficult to read so I figured that I would listen to it. I only listened to it for maybe ten minutes and then never again. I did stick to praying before I went to bed for about a week. Then my religious revival stopped, and I continued in my old ways.

September 11th. Killer Muslims had just come across to the sea to attack the United States because they hate freedom and goodness. They attacked the US for no reason whatsoever. President Bush declared a Crusade against all who where not on our side. September 11th was a major turning point for me. A new hatred that I had never felt towards Muslims before rose up inside me, I wanted to join back up with the Navy so I could help make the Middle-East a giant piece of glass. I really didn't have any concrete information about Muslims or Arabs except that they where behind an attack on my country. This event sparked a new desire in me for religion and I wanted to try to read the Bible again. One of the waitresses at the restaurant that I worked at was given some Bible's by one of the customers that had come in. I got one from her so I could read it at home. I started reading Genesis for a few minutes and then set it down.

Religion and I didn't seem to go together very well. I just couldn't get into reading the Bible which I felt was the most important thing to do if you where going to belong to any religion. Then something started to change. I started getting really big into politics. I was reading a lot of articles online that started to make me think. I found out that Bush was destroying the environment. I found out about the Patriot Act and how with its passage, the US Constitution and Bill of Rights ceased to exist. But the big kicker was what I learned about US foreign policy. Dead bishops and nuns in South America, 500,000 children under the age of five killed by sanctions, Muslims and Christian Palestinians being killed and oppressed with US financing and US supplied weapons and on and on and on. While this may not seem connected to religion in an outward manner, it was the study of politics that made me realize that all was not as it appeared to be. I had been fooled and been a fool. I had been a bigot on false assumptions and because I had no morality. This was when I decided to look into Islam. I wanted to know for myself if it was really true what the media and Jerry Falwell said about Islam. Was Islam a religion that promotes violence towards innocent people? What were their beliefs about God (swt), morality, combat and women? I wanted to know for myself and make my own decision about Islam. So I turned off my TV and started reading.

I started my research on Islam by going to Islamic websites and reading about Islam. What was the basic beliefs, what did they do on a daily basis. I read some articles here and there. I downloaded a Qur'an from downloads.net and started to read it. One of the first things that I noticed was that it held my interest and made sense to me. I was having no problem reading the Qur'an. The entire book really impressed me. Here was a blueprint on how to live my life in a good manner, in the best manner. To gain knowledge for the sole purpose of pleasing Allah (swt) was the greatest form of worship. To save a life is as if you saved all of humanity and to take an innocent life was as if you had killed the world. There is no compulsion in religion. We where made different so we would know one another, not hate each other. Christians and Jews are people of the book (earlier revelation). And on and on. The scientific proofs in the Qur'an also had a profound effect on me. The detailed description of how the fetus forms in the womb, which we as humans have only come to understand in the 20th century. I was completely floored. I realized that this was verbatim the word of Allah(swt) and that he was speaking to me, telling me "this is why I want you to be a moral person and this is why you should not do this..." During the months of November and December I continued my reading and research. I knew that I believed in Islam, but with all the hatred for Islam it made it really hard for me. I had the view that Islam was an Arab religion. Also Muslims where the bad guys now, no longer the Soviet communists. I really felt hesitant. Then on January 11th, 2002, I read on one website a question that said "So your thinking about embracing Islam but..." I read the answer to this question and I knew then that Islam was for me. I believed in Islam. The thing that had been holding me back was indecisiveness. So I made my declaration of faith: I declare there is no god but Allah (swt) and Muhammed (saw) is the messenger of Allah (swt). After this I taught my how to pray with a computer program that I had downloaded on the net. I continued to read about Islam and to learn and grow. I began to change. My relationship with my mother improved at a huge pace. I even eventually started to read the Bible so I could have an understanding of it. For about three months I had been practicing in secret. Then I finally worked up my courage to tell my mother. When I told her, her reaction was "oh Salah ud Deen." Needless to say this didn't make me feel very good. But I marched on and as time has gone by I have gotten more and more acceptance with my family on my being a Muslim. My friends on the other hand were all very accepting. They where true friends. I have come to love Islam more than anything that is in this world, I just hope I can live to at least some of the high standards of conduct and being that Islam demands. Insha'Allah (God willing) I will be able to do so.